


Second Chances

by chubbyhawke, The_Tevinter_Biscuit



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Children, Domestic Fluff, Drunk Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Marriage, Rape/Non-con Elements, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-12-12 23:33:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 118,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11747463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chubbyhawke/pseuds/chubbyhawke, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Tevinter_Biscuit/pseuds/The_Tevinter_Biscuit
Summary: In the dating world, breaking out the 'c' word (children) was an instant deal-breaker and had dates running for the hills. Hawke and Fenris had all but given up on love until their children decide to be the worlds best wingmen.





	1. Ice-cream Punch

**Author's Note:**

> heyooo this is a fic put together and mostly cleaned up from an RP I did with my pal @valroyou! it's essentially a single dads AU we had a lot of fun working on together. the fic is COMPLETELY finished as of right now so there should be consistent updates like...every other day or something. this means it won't interfere with my updating of Rest Easy, Sweetheart (if any of you were worried!)
> 
> however! much like my Milk Carton Kid universe, it's worth noting that in this fic Sebastian is Fenris's adoptive father!
> 
> enjoy!

As if Hawke hadn't had a shitty enough day as it was.

First, Sam had let Burger out of the house that morning without locking up the barn first, and the damn dog went in there and scared all the chickens out into the front lawn. He had to spend at least an hour or more gathering them all together again before he could even take his daughter to school. Next, he showed up late for work at the nursing home and he was welcomed by his red-faced co-worker, Anders, yelling about how one of the residents had run naked into the cafeteria during breakfast time and that he needed help getting them back into their room again.

Then right after that was done, as if to put icing on the cake, he'd gotten a phone call from Orsino, the school's principal, asking him to come to his office right away. He need not say it was about Sam. Of course, it was about Sam. It was never about anything else. And it sure was never about wanting to go out for a drink and a bite to eat after the big game or something... _mundane_.

He was absolutely livid, he'd never gripped the steering wheel to his truck so hard that he was afraid he might pull it off. Maker damned, Sam was six years old now, could she go at least one day without punching another child in the face? At least one?

He let out an angry huff as he parked in the gravel lot out front of the school and slammed the door to his truck as hard as he could. He could hear the rusty old thing rattling as if it threatened to fall to pieces after the blow, but at Hawke's glare, it held itself together. For now, at least. Orsino had said something about Sam acting violently during recess and attacking another student. He'd stopped listening at that point. What would he say to the offended parent this time? "I'm sorry my daughter is literally a MMA fighter in the making and can't keep her knuckles to herself." This was definitely going up on the chart for Garrett's Worst Days Ever.

 

Since the birth of his son, Fenris had decided that things in his life needed to change. If he was going to raise a child, he had to be cool and collected, able to handle situations with calmness and clarity. All of that went out of the window when he was called in to the sight of Adrian with a bloody nose and fat tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. Livid was an understatement for how he felt, rage boiling in chest and his fingernails biting into his palms as his patience was tested waiting for the parent of the little monster who did this to his son.

It was only the sight of his scared little boy that prevented him from running on the drive to commit cold-blooded murder. He couldn’t expose Adrian to such violence, he could not teach him that this was acceptable behaviour, not after he got socked in the face himself. The tiny voice in his head told him he should be teaching Adrian to hit her back, screw this bullshit they got fed about not hitting girls. There was a devil inside that child.

Orsino’s attempts to calm him down did him no good. When Adrian reached for his hand, he took it gladly. He knew he didn’t like him angry. But he had good reason to be angry. And when the door swung open, it was too difficult to bottle it in.

“You!” he yelled. “Are you the father of that little hell-beast?”

As soon as he walked into that office, Hawke was completely stunned by the man who sat in the chair beside the teary-eyed little child. What.... what was he here for again? Right. Yep. That was the dad of the kid that Sam punched. Of course, it was. He felt himself becoming filled with an overwhelming sense of fear, dread, but at the same time... awe. He tried to remember that he should be afraid for his life and trying to come up with sensible apologies, but nothing helped. As soon as that beautiful man leapt up from his chair to snarl at Hawke, he was a goner.

Sam was in her own chair, the chair she was always in, off to the far corner. This was the 'timeout chair' as Hawke liked to picture it, though it had no effect on Sam whatsoever. She looked up at him and grinned, almost like she was proud of herself as she jumped up to greet her father and hug his leg. "Hi dad!"

"Sam! What the actual _hell_ Sam!" he sighed, pulling her off of him to look her in the eyes. "This is the second time in a week."

The girl shrugged, pushing her curly locks out of her face. Hawke huffed again, rather loudly as he stood up to face the threat that awaited him. He hadn't expected this when he'd sat in that operating room with Merrill as she gave birth to his child. He hadn't expected Merrill to leave him for the Peace Corps to raise their daughter on his own. Even more so, he hadn't expected their daughter to be... well... who she is. She was nothing like Merrill, or Hawke for that matter. Unless this is how Merrill was as a child. Oh Maker...

"Yes, this is my daughter," he replied finally, tripping over his words a bit as gorgeous deep green eyes tore into his own. "I uh, fuck, I'm so sorry about all this. Listen, I get it, there's no excuse for this, and if I could undo my child punching yours in the nose, trust me I sure would," He felt sweat beginning to form on the back of his neck. Oh Maker, this is how he was going to die. This man was going to kill him, Hawke could see it in his face. What could he possibly say to diffuse this? "You know, I uh... Tell you what, why don't I take you guys all out to the ice cream shop down the road and I'll buy," Damn it, Garrett Malcolm Hawke. Did you just... ask him on a _date_? "Try to sort things out between the kids," he added hastily. "So that... this doesn't happen again?"

There were curses and expletives lined up in the back of Fenris’s throat, ready to cuss this man out until he cried for his mother. If he had anything to say about it, this man would end up with a bloody nose and crying just like Adrian. But everything fizzled out when he spoke.

Did he…ask him out?

Through the haze of red hot anger, Fenris hadn’t really drank in the sight of the man in front of him. Tall, was the first thing he noticed, and broad. That might’ve frightened other people of his smaller stature but not him. He had fought men this size before and won. But rugged looks aside, there was a sincerity and kindness to his expression that was making him…actually a little uncomfortably warm. He tugged slightly on the collar of his black turtle neck.

That didn’t excuse it. What kind of environment must that little monster girl of his be in to behave the way she did? No good parent ended up with a child like that, surely. He himself had been in scuffles of his own growing up, but nothing like this and never this young.

“You think that makes things better? A little ice-cream?” he exclaimed and then pulled Adrian close to his side. The boy hung tightly to his leg. “Look at what your daughter did to him! This is an outrage, she should be kicked out of school!”

As he spoke, Fenris felt a light tugging on the leg of his jeans. He looked down at Adrian who had since stopped crying and was now only sniffling.

“I’d like some ice-cream…” he said quietly. Fenris breathed a heavy sigh.

Hawke winced a little at the 'kicked out of school part' and swallowed. He was... probably right. He'd done everything he could to try and discipline Sam and straighten her out but nothing seemed to stick. Was he... a bad parent? It wouldn't surprise him. It's not like he had a good role model growing up. Aside from his own dad, of course.

"You... might have something there, true," he admitted with a huff, his apologetic smile falling. "But, she's... not all bad, I promise. You'll see. Feel free to get the most expensive thing off of the menu. I'll take it as payback."

Sam looked from her father to the little boy, frowning a bit as she looked Adrian over, as if deciding whether or not she still hated him.

"What kind of ice cream do you like?" she asked him, as if oblivious to the little boy's father on the verge of ripping the head off of her own. Hawke looked down at her like she'd grown a second head.

"Sam—”

Adrian took one glance up at his dad before diverting his attention to Sam. He wiped at his teary eyes and his spirit seemed to lift at the prospect of ice-cream. Children could sometimes be such simple creatures.

“I like…cookies and cream ice-cream best,” he said quietly. He stepped a little away from Fenris’s leg, surprising him. Adrian was always a shy kid, never caused much trouble. It had been a wonder to him that he even managed to get himself in this situation. There was a chance it could have been an accident, these things happen. However, by the sounds of things with her father, this was not the first time this had happened.

Accident or not, what sane man would let their child hang out with someone who was violent like that? Once was bad enough but Fenris would not stand for a second time if he were to let Adrian hang out with this little monster.

“Adrian come on, we can get ice-cream ourselves on the way home,” Fenris suggested but Adrian seemed to ignore him, eyes still fixated on Sam.

“What ice-cream do you like?” he asked her.

"I like cookies and cream too!" she beamed, a wide smile parting her face as she stepped closer to Adrian. "Chocolate is my favourite, because it's my dad's favourite. Sometimes he buys this kind with brownies in it, and it's the best stuff in the world."

Hawke watched the two children in awe, his jaw practically on the floor. What had this kid done to get Sam to punch him in the first place? Usually it was that they sat too close to her in the cafeteria or they tried to take the ball away from her at recess. Other times it was something deserving, like the time an older boy bullied her or tried to pull her hair. Maybe Adrian sat too close to her or something? It couldn't have been something serious, especially if Sam was _already_ completely over it.

"Sam, if the man doesn't want to go to ice cream with us, he has every right," he cooed, reaching over to take his daughter's hand. "You weren't being very nice earlier, after all. According to Orsino."

"It's over now, dad, and I didn't mean to hit him that hard," she shrugged as she looked back at Adrian. "I'm sorry I hit you. I didn't know you'd be cool."

"Sam! You can't just say stuff like-!"

"I bet if we go to the ice cream place they'll have the chocolate with the brownies," she continued, ignoring her father blatantly. "Wanna try it? I bet you'll think it's sooo awesome."

The more he thought about it, the more the idea of chocolate ice-cream with brownie bits seemed to outweigh the price of the potential of being hit again. Besides, she apologised and that meant he was supposed to forgive her, right? That’s what they always taught him in school. His nose would be all better in no time. It all had been one big misunderstanding anyway.

“Sounds yummy…” he said, nodding quickly. He turned back to Fenris, his signs of anger had melted slightly into shock. His jaw visibly clenched. The last thing Adrian wanted was for his dad to be angry for no good reason. He reached back for Fenris’s hand. “Please dad, can we get ice-cream?”

Fenris sighed again, managing to draw his eyes away from Hawke so he could crouch down and turn Adrian’s body toward him.

“Adrian, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If you don’t want to talk to this girl, you don’t have to. I can sort something out,” he said, rubbing Adrian’s shoulders lightly. Adrian puffed his cheeks.

“It’s okay, I want to,” he insisted. There was to be no arguing with him.

“Alright. One ice-cream, if you’re sure. But that’s all, no more. Then we’re going home. Does that sound fair?” Fenris said. Adrian nodded, smiling widely. Fenris stood back up, making intense eye-contact with Hawke but he was struggling to hold the gaze. Things would be so much easier if he was much less handsome. But no, don’t think about that, he mentally scolded himself. “You’re paying.”

Hawke's heart bounced in his chest and he couldn't help but grin from ear to ear as soon as he heard the words leave the other man's mouth. Was this a date? Yes. It was totally a date. No doubt about it.

"Yeah, of course," he grabbed his keys from his pocket and retrieved his daughter's hand, squeezing it tightly. "I'll see you there, Mr...."

“Just Fenris is fine,” Fenris said. Adrian seemed to beam at the prospect of an ice-cream endeavour, holding Fenris’s hand tightly. Fenris couldn’t believe this was happening. He came here with the full intention of tearing into whatever parent strolled their way in here for hitting his son and instead he got…whatever this was. Some kind of ridiculous ice-cream date with a stupidly handsome stranger who also happened to be the father of that little monster. He skimmed his eyes over Hawke’s hands, seeing no signs of a wedding ring and couldn’t help but wonder where the mother of the girl was. “Assuming you don’t wish to be called ‘that asshole’ for the rest of time, your name is?”

Adrian gasped at the swear word; “Dad!”

“You didn’t hear that,” Fenris told him.

Hawke laughed at that, a fluttery feeling filling his chest. 'Fenris' he said his name was. He also found himself looking at the other man's hands, pretty pleased with himself when he noticed there wasn’t a wedding ring there either. His hands were... beautiful though. His skin... what was it called... vitiligo? He'd heard about it, but never seen it in person. On Fenris it made him almost look like a tiger. He was a complete work of art and Maker damned if he could just stop staring like a jack ass...

"Call me whatever you like, it's Hawke on the birth certificate," he hummed. "Garrett 'That Asshole' Hawke."

He took his leave with that, boldly offering the other man a wink as he went back out to his truck. On the way to the shop, he'd made an attempt to ask Sam why she'd punched Adrian in the first place, but she was as dodgy as usual, saying things like: "It's over now, dad, it doesn't matter." or, "He forgave me, I apologized. It's okay now."

It had taken Fenris a little while to collect his thoughts after he had been abruptly winked at. He knew his face had blended into an embarrassing shade of red and was glad that the man had left before he could see it.

The ice-cream shop was a cosy little place just walking distance from the school, a hot spot for kids and older students alike. Hawke had arrived before Fenris, which was he was thankful for because as soon as he parked and climbed out of his truck, Sam was still diverting the topic of her father's questions.

"Adrian's dad, he's really cool looking, isn't he?" she said excitedly, her goofy grin never failing to match her father's perfectly.

"Sam, stop avoiding the question," he snapped, not caring now that he was in the middle of the parking lot. "I don't know if you realize it, but this is serious."

"But dad—”

"No, Sam, no 'buts’. This kind of behaviour isn't okay. You can't just hit people because you feel like it, or because they get in your personal space," Hawke interrupted her, speaking sternly to her, not yelling, but it would definitely be audible to others in the parking lot. "How do you think your mom is gonna react when she hears about this? How upset do you think she'd be if she came back from Uganda to hear that you got kicked out of school for this kind of stuff?"

"But I didn't get kicked out!" she whined. "And other kids don't listen!"

"So, you go talk to the teacher," Hawke said, more softly now. "You don't resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. Or else you _will_ get kicked out of the school, if Orsino has any bite to his bark. Understood?"

"Yes, dad," she huffed, pouting her lip.

 

While they sat in the car, Adrian dabbed at the final drops of dried blood with a tissue he had taken from the glove compartment. Aside from the redness around the area, everything seemed to look fine now and he was feeling much better.

“Do you like Sam’s dad?” Adrian asked. Fenris’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel, almost surprised at himself that he didn’t immediately swerve off the road at the question.

“I think he’s an idiot,” he said, never wanting to be dishonest to his child. But Adrian only giggled and wiggled around in the car seat. “What’s funny?”

Adrian hummed; “If you didn’t like him, why are we goin’ to the ice-cream place?”

“As I recall, you’re the one who wanted ice-cream,” Fenris said with a tut. He parked the car once they got to the ice-cream shop and got out of the car. Fenris walked around to the passenger side and helped Adrian get out. Near the entrance, he spotted Hawke and Sam. Fenris had to grab Adrian’s hand to stop him from running off towards them and used his other hand to lock the car with his keys.

Sam looked behind her father's truck to see Fenris standing beside his notably fancy car with Adrian in tow. She was instantly smiling again, pushing past her dad to go meet Adrian.

"Hi Adrian!" she cooed, waving as she approached. "I'm so excited. Once we have ice cream, we'll be like... best friends!"

Hawke sighed and walked over after his daughter, praying to the Maker that Fenris didn't overhear any of that. He put on his best smile and put his hands in his pockets, leaning half-way against his truck as he watched the two kids. He was amazed at how quickly Sam warmed up to this boy, normally she didn't warm up to, well... anyone.

Fenris glanced over at Hawke, noting him watching his daughter intently. Despite everything that had happened, he could at least be grateful that he seemed to be making sure she didn’t step out of line. Seeing Sam so enthusiastic about the ice-cream was only making Adrian more excited as well. He really hoped it would be as good as she said it would be. After all, he had never tried ice-cream with brownie bits in it before. To Fenris’s surprise, Adrian let go of his hand to move closer to Sam.

“I hope so,” he said, grinning a little bit. “We need to go, before they run out!”

Fenris chuckled a little bit and said; “I don’t think they’ll have run out buddy.”

"C'mon kids, lead the way," Hawke gestured to the door and Sam squeaked with joy, snatching the other boy’s hand, yanking him after her into the door. A little bell jingles at their entrance and Hawke laughed. He looked back at Fenris and smirked, leaning against the door frame to prop open the door with his arm. He might have been casually flexing a bit in doing so, trying to make it seem as unintentional as he could.

He nodded to Fenris, gesturing in the most polite, gentle-manly way he can possibly manage. "After you."

Fenris had wanted to protest at seeing his son whisked away by the girl that had hit him merely hours beforehand, but upon hearing Adrian giggling with laughter he bit back any retorts he had. He really wished someone would have told him that raising children could be so stressful. Next time someone asked about the white hair he was half-tempted to suggest it had been because of raising a child.

He followed the kids inside, eyes roving over Hawke’s arms as he held the door open for him. Clearly the man worked out, that much was obvious. Strong could be added to the list of adjectives he was making for him. Sam had definitely stolen some of the large genes of his, being at least a full head taller than Adrian despite being the same age.

“Thank you,” he said after clearing his throat, drawing his gaze back up to Hawke’s face and turning away when he noticed him smirking.

Hawke followed the other man inside, definitely _not_ taking an opportunity to look at his ass in doing so. Those jeans did wonders for him, to put it short. Not like everything else about him wasn't already wonderful. _Alright, Garrett Hawke, quit fawning. This is serious. Get your shit together._

Sam already had her face pressed up against the glass of the ice cream display, pointing to different tubs with varieties of colours and patterns inside.

"Pick one that you've never tried before and I'll get it for mine," she said. "We can try it together!"

"Don't get too crazy, Sam, this is for Adrian, remember?" Hawke cooed as he came up behind his daughter, playfully messing up her hair and earning a shriek from her. She decidedly ignored him, continuing to look at different kinds.

"See that? It's pistachio. Don't try it, it's _nasty_! It's my mom's favourite. Do you have a mom?" she continued, asking with absolutely no shame or remorse. Hawke wanted to panic and clamp his hand over Sam's mouth then, but he also worried for a moment that Sam was killing this for him by giving the impression that he was married. Nevertheless, offending Adrian as well as his father.

"Sam, that's not a polite thing to ask someone-"

“Not at home,” Adrian cut in before anyone else could. Fenris was actually somewhat curious what the boy would say. “I don’t see her but I know she gives dad money. Grandpa takes care of me when dad’s at work and I’m at home.”

Fenris breathed a sigh of relief. He had always thought explaining things to him as soon as he was old enough to understand was the best thing to do. He would get the full story when Adrian was a little older, around the same time he was going to be ready for _the talk_.

“Grandpa likes vanilla. It’s okay but I think it’s boring,” Adrian continued, pointing towards the vanilla ice-cream.

"My mom is a super hero. She travels all over the world to help people. She's almost never home, and she doesn't even live with us anymore. Kinda wish she'd come around and help me instead sometimes. Like... she babysits me when she's in town but that's like once every other forever. Most of the time it's just the weird guy from dad's work,” Sam chirped.

Hawke felt a pang in his heart at hearing Sam say that. He tried to pretend that it didn't affect him, but Merrill choosing her work over him and their child still left a pretty big hole in his heart. If there were anything that could make Hawke feel insignificant, or without worth, it was that.

"Oh, stop, Anders isn't that weird, Sam. C'mon, y’know what you want?" he prodded, wanting to end the conversation before he had to hear any more of it.

"Yes, he is! All he does is watch that Judge Judy show and complain about Burger," Sam tutted. "Oh! I have a dog! His name is Burger and he's so huge I can ride on his back around the house. Do you have a pet?"

She turned back to Adrian again, ignoring her father. The cashier took amusement in this, and turned notably away from them with their hand over their mouth to contain their laughter.

“I asked dad for a puppy but he said no. Wouldn’t have time to take care of it or somethin’…we had fish once! They all died though,” Adrian replied, still looking at the selection of ice-creams.

Fenris folded his arms over his chest, watching the two of them interact and keeping a careful eye on them. However, he couldn’t help but spare a glance over at Hawke and wonder what he was thinking. So, Sam’s mother wasn’t around but not entirely out of the picture. Just because he wasn’t married didn’t mean he wasn’t in a relationship. Everyone know that. However, it didn’t make sense for him to be hitting on him if that was the case. Unless it was all in good fun he supposed, but it didn’t seem like it. Either that or he was some lonely bastard looking for a lay on the side while he wasn’t getting any from the mother of his child.

He couldn’t help but feel disgusted with himself for even thinking such a thing. The truth was Hawke’s intentions had yet to be clear and there was still time for the man to redeem himself for his daughter’s actions. For now, he’d just keep tabs on him and his ridiculously handsome face.

Damnit.

"Awh, well maybe you can meet mine sometime! I have lots of other animals too. I live on a farm," she said.

“A farm?” Adrian questioned. “Like…with chickens and stuff?”

"Yes! We've got chickens, goats, ponies... everything!” Then she turned to Hawke. “Alright, dad, I want the birthday cake kind right there. Get Adrian the one with the brownies."

"Got it," Hawke hummed, pulling out his wallet and sorting a few bills. "You heard the kid, get me my usual too if you would, that'd be great."

He looked back at Fenris, wearing that same, silly goofy smile that he always seemed to be wearing. He said; "You want anything for yourself, Fenris?"

For some reason, it gave him chills to say the other man's name aloud. It seemed like he was single, especially if Adrian hadn't mentioned anyone else living at home aside from the grandfather. Maybe Sam could be helpful after all, if she got Adrian excited about the farm, it would be an excuse to see Fenris again. Wait... was he just... thinking about using his daughter as _a wingman_?

“I…” the question had caught Fenris off-guard. He hadn’t considered the possibility of getting some ice-cream for himself while he was so engrossed in the Adrian and Sam situation. Upon seeing the selection of ice-cream, he could feel his sweet tooth nagging at him to get something. It wouldn’t hurt. “I suppose I could have some raspberry ripple.”

This was a ridiculous thing to get embarrassed about. On one hand, he wasn’t sure whether he should be allowing Hawke to pay for him as well, it was his son that his daughter had wronged. Although, there probably wasn’t much use fighting it.

Hawke nodded, paying for the ice cream and gesturing to one of the booths and telling Sam to go and save it for them before somebody stole it. Sam then shrieked and grabbed Adrian, yelling about how they had to hurry and get the seat before it was too late. When they sat, she pulled Adrian into the seat beside her, leaving the booth across from them empty as she giggled, catching her breath.

Hawke shook his head at the two of them, though his heart pounded when he looked over the seating predicament. _Maker, Hawke, you're not in fucking high school._ _Can you handle sitting next to hot guy without vomiting?_ Hey, that was only one time, he contested himself. He ignored it for now as he waited at the counter for the server to finish, glancing carefully over at Fenris. Damn it, now he was checking him out. Again.

"I'm sorry again, by the way," he said, taking the opportunity to try and have a real conversation with Fenris now that the kids were gone and the anger in the other man's eyes had subsided. "Sam _can_ be a really good kid, I promise. It's just that whenever something goes wrong or doesn't go her way, violence is her first resort. I don't know why she's like that but..." he huffed, shaking his head. "I probably look like the shittiest father right about now."

He laughed at the end of that, as he always did with his self-depreciating jabs.

“I admit I have always thought these things don’t come out of nowhere. You don’t seem the particularly…” Fenris paused to visibly raked his eyes over Hawke’s body. “Aggressive sort. Perhaps it is other underlying influences. You should be careful.”

Did that sound too much like a threat? Well, with everything that had happened it was best to be on guard. He had known Hawke for barely any time at all, it wasn’t enough to make a solid case on why her father wasn’t the cause for her aggression and violence. There were still many things about him that were yet to be seen. For now, he would just take the ice-cream and sit at the booth across from the children so he could observe them.

Hawke shyly sat down beside Fenris, making sure not to get too close, but close enough that Fenris could probably smell the cologne he wore. Either that, or the smell of the nursing home beneath that. He'd had a minute to take off his scrubs before he left, but not to shower. He took a big bite of his ice cream, humming with delight.

"You see this?" Hawke prodded his daughter playfully, gesturing to the patch of grey hair on his temples. " _This_ is because of you, Sam. Don't you ever forget it."

"I won't!" she said, glimmering with pride as she looked over at her new friend.

“Having a farm is so cool! Do you think your dad will let me come see the chickens?” Adrian asked Sam, prodding at the ice-cream in front of him with a spoon.

"Dad, can Adrian come over and see the farm? _Pleeeaassseee?_ " Sam instantly directed her attention back to her father.

Hawke paused, looking from Adrian to his handsome father, who's profile was just as beautiful as the rest of him. The curve of his nose as he looked down toward his son, his sharp jawline, beautiful patches absent of colour that made stripes down his chin and throat. Not even a classical artist like Van Gogh could think of beauty like this, or even hope to capture it.

"It's up to Adrian's father," he said calmly, stuffing his face with another spoonful. "I'm not sure he wants to move past the events of the day as quickly as you two. And he has a right to feel that way."

It was Adrian’s turn to meet Fenris’s gaze, eyes wide and lips pouty. Puppy dog eyes always worked on him and on the occasions Fenris told him no, the eyes had a good chance of swaying him.

“Daaadd…” he whined. “I want to see Sam’s chickens!”

“We’ll talk about it when we get home,” Fenris’s words were firm, not looking directly at his son any longer for fear of being won over by the puppy dog eyes. He dug his spoon into his ice-cream and took the first bite. Taking that first mouthful reminded him why he loved sweet food so much, the taste of the raspberry sauce was illegally good. He found himself humming in contentment to the food and licking the excess from his lips with his tongue.

 _Hawke, damn it, don't watch him lick his lips like that. Stop thinking about him licking his lips like that. Fuck. Shit._ Hawke tore his eyes away from the other man, hoping desperately that he hadn't been caught staring as he watched the two children interact. Fenris turned to look at Hawke, cocking an eyebrow at the way the man’s face had flushed with red. It looked good in contrast to his skin, blending in with the scar across the bridge of his nose. How did he get that? It was an odd place for a scar. Hawke laughed a little, though he could feel himself blushing even darker when he felt the other man's eyes on him. He turned to face him, trying his best to keep his cool.

Adrian huffed, not happy with the unclear answer but unwilling to argue with his dad. Instead, he focused back on the ice-cream he had. It was time to do a taste test and see if it really was good as Sam had told him.

“It’s good!” Adrian said with a mouthful of brownie chunks.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Fenris lightly scolded, pointing at his son with his spoon.

He swallowed down the ice-cream in his mouth and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Sorry,” he apologised, then turned to look at Sam. “It’s really good!”

"Yay! I knew you'd like it!" Sam cheered. "Now we can be best friends, right? And we can have sleep overs and build forts outside and all that fun stuff! I... don't really have a whole bunch of friends. That's what I think it's supposed to be like though."

“Mhmm sounds like fun! Can I have a bite of your ice-cream?” Adrian asked Sam, eyes locked on her ice-cream. It always tasted better when it was someone else’s. At least, that was the excuse he had gave Fenris when he stole food off his plate.

"Yeah, sure, but only if I get a bite of yours," Sam said triumphantly, crossing her arms over her chest.

Adrian lit up with excitement. He yanked his spoon out of his own ice-cream and leaned over to scoop some of Sam’s, then popped it in his mouth with a hum of delight. “Tasty.”

Sam watched her father and Fenris in the corner of her eye. She wondered if she could do something or make a plan with Adrian to get their dads hanging out more. They were best friends now, their dads needed to be best friends too. That's how it worked... right?

"So, what do you do, Fenris?" Hawke asked casually on the other side of the booth, popping the spoon in his mouth to lick some of the chocolate sauce off of it contently. He tried his best to sound as casual and not flirty at all, but he was failing. Miserably. "Like, you know, for a living."

 “I’m a fitness instructor,” Fenris told him, taking another bite of ice-cream. “I don’t like working with people much so it was an…interesting choice of profession for me. But I like most of my clients. Some are insufferable, but most are alright. And what about you, what do you do? Unless it’s this…farming business?”

"Oh no, the farm was my father's. Left it to my mother when he died and my mother left it to me. It's the family heirloom. I... actually work at a nursing home, I'm a care assistant. Sam goes there with me on days where there's no school. My residents _love_ her, not a lot of them get visitors or have anyone that cares about them so... I try to do what I can."

He bit his tongue when he almost admitted that he had a separate "family Christmas" at the nursing home every year. Most people didn't really care about old people or what happened to them, and he didn't want to brattle. "I haven't been to the gym in a while," he admitted, smiling a little. "Maybe now this will give me an excuse. I need it pretty desperately at this point."

Fenris smiled slightly. He was cute. Terribly so. In fact, almost so downright adorable that it was making him want to kick himself under the table. So, the giant, ruggedly handsome father of a violent little girl, helped old ladies. What next? When he sings in the kitchen all the woodland animals come to clean his house? Was he about to open up his shirt and reveal he’s actually been a superhero this entire time? They were stupid thoughts, unable to comprehend the idea that Hawke might actually just be a genuinely nice person. Ridiculous.

“I see,” he said. “You can’t tell by the way. About the gym I mean. You’re in…good shape.”

 _Stupid_ , Fenris, _stupid_.

"Really? You think so?" Hawke raised an eyebrow at him, unable to keep himself from grinning. "Well, it's pretty obvious that you're a physical trainer of you ask me. I've tried to have that build since I was in high school and it just made the squishy bits tougher. You look good."

That was a bit more of a shameless flirt than Hawke had intended it to be when he thought it over in his head. He wanted to know what Fenris looked like shirtless, what the skin looked like there and just how taught he was. Did his belly look as good as his arms?

"So, Adrian said his mom wasn't around. I don't want to prod where I'm not wanted but, I know where you're at," he continued. "Like as a single dad, I mean."

“Oh. Thank you,” he said. Fenris wasn’t used to compliments. Especially not from men like Hawke. He often got prods and questions about his vitiligo because apparently that was all anyone seemed to see when they looked at him. There had been times when he thought about covering it up with makeup but he was convinced to do otherwise and simply embrace his skin. “Raising a child on your own can be…pressing, at times. I’m sure you understand. I take it you and Sam’s mother are no longer…? Ah, I am sorry, I shouldn’t ask.”

It wasn’t like him, delving into people’s private business. If they wanted to disclose such things, they should do it on their own. However, Fenris found himself wanting to know more about Hawke. It was worth it if their children intended to keep things the way they are.

Hawke paused for a moment, looking from Fenris's eyes to his hands before turning away.

"Uh, yeah, no. We're not," he cleared his throat, looking at Sam to make sure she wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. "She was gone a lot after she had Sam. Joined the Peace Corps. Things got really tense between us because I was angry that she didn't help with Sam and she was angry that I didn't respect her life choices. Eventually we had this big talk, when Sam was like 2, and we decided to cut the romantic ties. She comes back every three months or so and stays with me so she can see Sam and spend time with her. She has her own place but she doesn't like the landlord, so I do the nice thing and give her my bed and I take the couch and-" he lets out along sigh, chewing the inside of his cheek. "Sorry, you probably don't wanna hear about all that. My life is a mess, don't need to bug you with it."

It wasn't unusual for Hawke to open up like this. He had no secrets, he would give away his whole life story to most people who asked, especially if they were hot. Fenris was... really, really hot. So, it was hard for Hawke to keep his mouth shut and keep to small talk. Well, if there was any chance he had with Fenris, he probably just blew it with that baggage. _Nice one, Gare. Way to go._

Fenris shook his head. He had to admit, it wasn’t every day that people would tell him their entire life story like that. Most people found him rather hard to approach, with minor exceptions. He looked back down at his ice-cream and had another bite.

“I’m sorry to hear that. I suppose it’s…nice for Sam to see her though?” he commented. In a way, he wished that after Adrian’s birth, Isabela could have dealt with seeing him regularly. His dad was a fantastic help in bringing him up and helping him deal with raising a child, it just wasn’t the same as giving him a mother. He fully respected Isabela’s decision of course, he was truly grateful that she carried the child and went through that for his sake. Even if she never wanted a romantic relationship, he would’ve liked Adrian to at least know her. But alas, it was no use wasting time thinking about everything that could’ve been. This was life now and there was no changing it.

"It sort of is, but she's always missing her and complaining that she isn't around," Hawke huffed, taking a bigger scoop of his ice cream now to attempt to wallow in the emotions that were bubbling inside of him now. There were probably bits of cream in his beard, but he didn't give a shit. "Anyway, what about you? I'm gonna guess you aren't, y’know, like with his mom, based on what Adrian said." He paused for a moment, immediately regretting his words. "I-I mean, you don't have to answer if that's like, not okay. We're... we're strangers, after all."

“Adrian’s mother she…” Fenris furrowed his eyebrows, wondering the best way to word this. “She and I didn’t feel the same way about children. We were never really together, if you know what I mean. So, when we found out, we made a deal. I would raise Adrian and she would move out of town. She pays child support and I still see her, we are friends. But she doesn’t think of Adrian as her own.”

He could feel his throat tighten slightly, a rush of unexpected emotions upon talking about it all. He hadn’t told anyone about this. The last time he’d said anything on it was when he’d discussed it with his own dad, when it happened.

"Oh damn, I'm... really sorry," Hawke gaped at him a little, suddenly realizing that he still had ice cream on his face and he wiped it off with the back of his hand rather sloppily. "You know, this might sound stupid, but I'm surprised you don't have a girlfriend at the very least. You-" are the hottest thing I've ever seen. "A-and Adrian are... a really charming pair."

_Good one, Hawke. No, really. Good one._

“You are a strange man Hawke,” Fenris said, chuckling a little and consuming the last few bites of his ice-cream. He picked up a napkin from the table and wiped his mouth. His eyes drifted over to Hawke now. “Dating is much harder when you have a child. A lot of people don’t want to deal with that,” Then he tapped his chin. “You missed a bit.”

 _Say that three more times. Please._ The way Hawke's name sounded across Fenris's lips was almost too beautiful to bear.

"Oh, right, yep," he forced a laugh though he definitely blushed, wiping his chin clean with the napkin.

On the other side of the booth Sam chuckled as she and Adrian messed around with their ice-cream; "What's your house like? I saw your dad's car. Are you rich? Do you have one of those _huge_ bath tubs like in the magazines?"

“No huge bath tubs. Well. It is pretty big,” Adrian said between chuckles. “Grandpa gave dad a lot of money I think. He always buys me mountains for Christmas. Our house is kinda big.”

"My house is tiny, but the yard is huge," she cooed. "Your grandpa sounds awesome! I sort of have a grandpa. His name's Donnic and he comes over with Gran' Aveline and they're cops. It's really cool, actually." She noticed that Adrian took her ice cream and she squeaked, reaching over to Adrian's with a finger and smearing the melty brown cream on the boy’s cheek. "There! Payback."

Adrian squealed at the ice-cream smeared on his face, rubbing it off with his hand but not wanting to waste it so licking it off.

“Cops?” he asked. “Do they put away bad guys? Oh! Have you ever seen a bad guy?”

"No! I wish though! What does your grandpa do? Does he do anything cool?" she pouted, stabbing her ice cream with her spoon to express her frustration, and making a little bit of a mess.

He hummed, taking bigger bites of his ice-cream. Then he began to explain to answer Sam’s question; “He’s a…one of those Chantry people. Dad and I go to the things he does on a Sunday.”

"I've never been to one of those!" she chirped, playing with her ice cream now as it melted, making a slowly enlarging mess. "What's it like?"

“It’s okay. A lot of talking. Grandpa stands up at the front and talks about Maker. There’s singing sometimes. And food,” Adrian told her, also beginning to swirl around the melted parts of his ice-cream with his spoon.

"Food is the best," Sam eventually replied. "I think I'd go for the food."

Hawke looked over at Sam and the mess she was making, giving a long sigh.

"Sam, stop that,” he scolded. He got more napkins and began to wipe up her spot, as well as her face, which was all kinds of colours from the ice cream. Once she was clean Hawke took her bowl and placed it in his own empty one, in order to keep her from making a mess any larger. Sam pouted a little as her father cleaned up her mess and took it away, sticking out her tongue at him as he cleaned her face. He turned back toward Fenris, drinking in his features for as long as he could. Who knew when he'd get this chance again? This man was extremely scary, yes, and could rip Hawke's heart out if he wanted to, but somehow that just made him hotter.

"Listen, I uh... I know I'm probably not on your ‘Most Favourite People Ever’ list right now but..." he paused, trying to decide how stupid he actually wanted to sound while asking this. "My kid likes your kid; your kid likes my kid. There's this... big barbeque the neighbourhood has every year. It's got kiddy pools and all that stuff for the kids, and of course there's alcohol, if that's your cup of tea. But uh... would you maybe want to meet up there? It's in a few weeks still but... it'd be nice to- uh, for Sam to actually have another kid there to play with."

Fenris took a moment to think about it. It was hard to believe that Adrian and Sam had been at war with one another not too long ago and now they were chatting like they had been friends all their lives. Children were so volatile, and quick to change their opinions based on a little ice-cream. Adrian had few friends, classmates mostly, but no one close. He wondered if he was the problem. Dearly, he hoped Adrian wasn’t afraid of bringing people home because of him. If this Sam girl calmed down, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad. She clearly wasn’t afraid of her father or him telling her what to do.

“I…suppose it couldn’t hurt,” he said, drawing in Adrian’s bowl when he had finished eating and pushing a clean napkin towards him so he could wipe his mouth. “In a few weeks, you say?”

"Yeah! It's at the park, on the south side of town," Hawke explained, trying not to sound too excited at the prospect. Another date? Yes. This was definitely another date. For sure. "So, this means that Sam and I can expect to see you guys there?"

Sam had listened in a bit on her father's conversation, and her eyes lit up at the prospect of the barbeque. She exclaimed; "Adrian! You have to come there! It's so fun, and sometimes these people from the zoo come and bring all these cool animals and let you hold them. And they have water slides and it's soooooo great! Like everybody from school is there too."

“Dad you have to let me go!” Adrian gasped.

“Oh alright,” he said, leaning back against the seat of the booth and taking a long, deep breath. This was not how he planned for his day to go at all. He’d certainly heard of the barbeque from his neighbours and some of the cheerful old ladies at Chantry. Never once had he considered going, even with his dad. There was no way to truly enjoy himself when there were children to watch over. However, if Adrian had Sam to hang out with, it would probably be alright.

Which left him with…His eyes flickered over to Hawke again. It was almost like a…No, don’t think like that. Hawke had hardly been subtle in his flirtations and merely the idea of someone attempting to court him was baffling. Putting the word ‘date’ on anything brought too many serious expectations. Their children were just going to be hanging out. That’s all. And they would end up alone together at the same time.

“I suppose we will see you there then,” Fenris told him.

Hawke's heart-pounded in his chest at hearing those words, unable to keep himself from smiling as he stood up from the booth. "Yeah, definitely!" Wow, Hawke. Way to be smooth. As Sam said goodbye to Adrian and the two made their way to the door Hawke was grinning like a little kid on Christmas eve.


	2. Barbecue Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little messy and risky at the barbecue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is the second chapter! warning for some NSFW sexual content in this one ;) enjoy!

Fenris felt awkward. Neither Hawke nor Sam were anywhere to be seen. Adrian hung tightly against his side, holding onto his hand and looking around for any sign of his bumbling new friend. She had not laid her hands on him ever since the first time. The pair of them actually seemed to be getting along rather well. Admittedly, the flutter of butterflies in his stomach also had something to do with her father, who he saw on a fairly regular basis because the two children were becoming inseparable.

He had chosen not to invite his dad along with him to the barbecue. However, that did mean he was now stuck here alone with Adrian for the time being. He didn’t know anyone else here, he wasn’t the particularly social sort who had lengthy chats about the weather with his neighbours. In fact, outside of his work clients, he barely spoke to anyone that wasn’t family at all. He didn’t mind that particularly, he was much more focused on Adrian, but it did make these scenarios a little awkward.

The park was bustling with people, more than Fenris anticipated. People of all ages, adults, teenagers, children. There seemed to be a handful of different events going on, the smell of fried meats wafting in the air and chatter amongst the people hanging around in groups. He noticed a few of things Hawke had told him about, the water slides, the animal handling. He could feel Adrian bouncing a little in excitement.

“Where are they?” Adrian asked, looking up at his dad. He could tell the boy wanted to get started on investigating but was unwilling to do so without Sam by his side. She was much braver than he was, and would have no qualms dragging him around from event to event. It would be much better than being seen with his father.

“They’ll be here soon, I’m sure,” Fenris comforted him, squeezing his hand a little. Adrian nodded and the two of them continued to wander and look around.

 

The past few weeks couldn't have gone by any slower for Hawke. Thankfully, though, he hadn't gotten any emails or phone calls about Sam's behaviour since she'd started hanging around Adrian at school. He'd always seen Fenris in the car lot before and after, it was easy to recognize that fancy, secret-agent car of his. Normally Hawke went straight from work to the school so Fenris had the pleasure of seeing Hawke in his pastel green and blue dinosaur scrubs. Wonderful. Way to get 'em, killer.

When Hawke had told Anders about Fenris and Adrian, he was decidedly bitter. Which was odd, Anders usually only got bitter when you brought up the health care system or welfare of the lower middle class.

 "I know the family," Anders had said, washing his hands after bathing a resident. "They're a bunch of Maker-fearing rich assholes, if you ask me. Never had to work hard for anything in their lives."

"You don't know that," Hawke said a little bit too defensively when he was talking about _a stranger_ after all. "Raising a child on your own is hard work enough if you ask me."

"Whatever, Hawke, just saying," Anders shrugged, letting the topic drop.

When the day of the barbecue finally rolled around, Sam was bouncing off the walls with excitement. Hawke as trimming his beard a bit, currently deciding on which cologne to wear. Sam rushed into the bathroom wearing her favourite 'Transformers' T-shirt and some polka dot shorts that didn't match what so ever. He'd put on one of his nicer button ups, a blue plaid, and his nice jeans- not the messy farm jeans with the dust and clay all over the knees. It wasn't fancy by any means but it was a nice clean-up for Hawke.

"Dad! Hurry up! Adrian will think I ditched him if we don't leave right now!"

"Sam, hold it together for two minutes, please."

"Why are you dressed so nice? You never wear the good pants to the barbecue!"

"Sam! Go put Burger in the cage. Now."

"Ugh, fine."

As soon as Sam left Hawke took another moment to check his face again. Not much he could fix, the chubby cheeks, dark circles under his eyes from stress, grey hairs. Maker, why did he think he had a chance with Fenris? Why couldn't he have just done what Mother wanted him to do and married that ginger girl from Fereldan with the really silly last name? He snatched his keys from the counter top and headed down the hall to the front door, deciding he looked as good as he was going to look for now.

"Sam! Are you ready?" he called.

"Yep!" she cheered, rushing out of the living room with a big smile on her face. "I even put on my shoes!"

"Sam those are..." he huffed, taking a knee and pulling her closer to him. "You put them on the wrong feet again."

"No, I did not!"

"Yes, of course, now sit still and let me fix it."

Once her shoes were fixed, Hawke practically threw the both of them into the truck and barrelled toward the park. He could feel the percentage chance of him getting Fenris to like him going down with each minute that passed. Damn it, why couldn't he just have enough self-confidence to get ready in 5 minutes and leave instead of spending an hour in the mirror?

He parked along the road some place that he knew he would forget about later, but he was in far too much of a hurry. Sam was too, but obviously not for the same concerns as her father. He adjusted his shirt again as he came into the park, waving at a few of the neighbours as they passed and exchanging quick "how are you"'s. He saw Fenris with Adrian in the distance, his skin, though he felt bad admitting it, made him rather easy to pick him out of a crowd.

He waved over to them, walking over as quickly as he could without looking awkward. Sam ran over without hesitation, pulling Adrian into her arms and squealing with joy. Hawke pulled his usual toothy grin, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, Fenris, sorry I'm late," he said. "Sam put her shoes on wrong."

"I did not! You kept staring at yourself in the mirror, I was ready way before you," she stuck her tongue out at her dad before turning back to Adrian. "Sorry, my dad is lame. Wanna go see the animals?"

Adrian nodded quickly. He had been excited about the animals ever since he first heard about them weeks ago over ice-cream, and returned her hug with eagerness. Soon enough he grabbed her hand and smiled at her.

“Yes! Take me to the animals,” he giggled.

Hawke watched the kids with a smile as they ran off, a warmth pooling into his heart. It was nice to see Sam finally have a friend that was actually a friend and not someone who was just too scared of her to say no. Maybe she got that violence thing from Carver, Carver was like that as a kid. It went away when he stopped growing though, and everyone else was too much taller than him for Carver to be any kind of intimidating. Sam might top off early, but Hawke doubted it. She'd be 6 foot in the eighth grade just like he was, for sure.

Meanwhile, Fenris roved his eyes over Hawke. _You clean up nice_ was on the tip of his tongue but he bit it back. He worried about standing out, most people seemed to be dressed in bright, flashy colours, but he struggled to find anything colourful in his wardrobe. His grey button-up shirt was about the most colourful item of clothing he owned. He kept the sleeves rolled up just past his elbows, not wanting to suffer in the heat. The hot weather didn’t bother him too much, but he still didn’t want to melt out in the sun. If any part of him was going to set alight it was definitely his legs, clad in tight, black skinny jeans.

“It’s alright, we haven’t been here that long,” he said. “But it is a relief. I admit, I don’t really know anybody here.”

Hawke admired Fenris for a moment, looking at the way the sleeves of the button up hugged his arms and how those pants shaped his legs. They were so perfect, almost avian in nature just by the way he was standing. Fenris had bad posture, granted, very bad posture, but somehow it added a charm to the mix of all the perfect things about him. He found himself imagining Fenris's legs wrapped around his waist, what it would feel like to grip his—Maker _, Hawke, stop it. You're not a pubescent teenager get a hold of yourself._

"I know more people here than I like to admit, but that doesn't mean I have to like them," he laughed, looking away in hopes of diffusing the fantasy that was now looping through his mind. "You know me, well at least kind of, so that's something, right?" In the distance, he could smell grease and fried chicken and he couldn't help but smile, in combination with Fenris standing next to him, this was heaven. There was a server standing beside a large cooler serving alcoholic drinks under a big green tent off to the side. Hawke gestured, taking a step towards it before looking back at Fenris. "I'm getting some beer, want me to grab you something? Or maybe some food?"

As tempting as alcohol was, he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for both of them to drink when they had kids running around. Although, looking around, everything seemed pretty secure and Hawke had said he knew a handful of people here. Perhaps everyone looked after one another and he had just been out of the loop this whole time.

“Do they have wine?” he asked. He could practically taste the dry musk of red wine on his tongue, it had been so long since he’d been able to indulge. Raising a child on your own did often prevent you from drinking too much. “I like red, if they have it.”

"Got it," Hawke smiled and winked, leaving to go to the tent and returning with a bottle of wine and a glass for Fenris and a few beers for himself. Perched on the crook of his arm is a small plate with some strong smelling fried food on it, funnel cake? Something like that. "There's a sitting place over there with a good view of the kiddy area. Wanna head that way?” He gestured with the elbow that doesn't have food precariously balanced on it.

Fenris nodded and walked over to the area Hawke was gesturing to and took a seat at a small table. He picked up the bottle of wine and studied it. French red, he noted with a hum, French wine was usually pretty good. It didn’t look like anything too fancy however. He popped the cork on the top and poured himself a glass. Once he had taken the first sip, he let out a long sigh. It was good. Better than he remembered drinking being.

He turned his head to oversee the children’s play area. In the distance, he could see Adrian and Sam from a mile away. The two of them seemed to bounce around from place to place, enthralled by everything that was going on.

“I wouldn’t have expected they would have become such good friends,” he commented, sliding a finger idly around the rim of his wine glass in circles.

"Me neither, most kids don't become friends with Sam unless she intimidated them into it," he chuckled, popping his own drink open and taking a sip. He put the powdery funnel cake between them and tore off a bit with his fingers, trying his best not to get any powder on the beard. "I'm happy though, this is what Sam needs. A _real_ friend. Maybe it'll soften her up a bit."

Hawke let his gaze fall back to Fenris, studying his eyes and his lips as he sipped the wine. Of course, he drank wine, it was so fitting for him. Black clothing, white hair, red wine.

"I wouldn't have expected you to be... I don't know, less scary when I actually talk to you. I keep getting flashbacks from the principal’s office and I'm partially convinced this is a ruse for you to get me alone and exact revenge,” he said.

At the comment, Fenris chuckled.

“I won’t deny that I was ready to break your nose when you walked in that door. It is hardly anything personal. I was just looking out for my son, which I’m sure you understand. But you are not what I expected either. You are much more…” he paused, looking Hawke up and down. He wondered if he realised that he had already gotten some of the powder in his beard and smiled a little. “Interesting than I anticipated.”

"Interesting? Me? Really?" Hawke put a hand over his chest and feigned a tear rolling down one of his cheeks. He was still totally unaware of the powder in his beard so he just kept on eating, taking another swig and finishing his first can of beer. "I'm so touched though I'm more of a walking embarrassment, in truth, but I'm really flattered."

He looked back towards where the kids were, watching as Adrian playfully shoved Sam down one of the water slides. Good. She needed a good shove every now and then. Kept her from getting too puffed up about herself, as she usually did.

"You're way more interesting than I am, by a long shot," Hawke continued as he cracked open another can. "Like, you could tell me that you worked some boring desk job at a paper company and I'd still think you were one of the most interesting people I've ever met. So far, at least. Somebody might come up that breaks the ranks but... yeah. You know what I mean." He shrugged, taking a sip.

“Not all men I know are brave enough to eat funnel cake with a beard,” Fenris replied, a smirk pulling at his lips.

He took a large swig from his wine glass and chuckled again. It had been a long time since he felt this relaxed. Out the corner of his eye, he could see Adrian and Sam were having the time of their lives as well. He knew any minute now Hawke would fluster and try to brush off the powder from his beard. Fenris found his heart racing a bit too fast for his liking at the thought. For now, he’d blame it on the alcohol.

"Oh, I made a mess, didn't I?" he grumbled, grabbing some napkins and wiping at his chin. "It's not bravery. I promise. Just dumb luck."

Once he thought he was clean of powder, he tossed the napkin to the side and huffed, drinking some more of his beer. His arm brushed Fenris's as he did that, and he felt goose bumps beginning to form at the absence of contact. Maker, had it really been this long since Hawke liked someone like this? He supposed it would make sense, he'd spent too much time hoping that Merrill would change her mind and come back to him, doing what he could to try to sway her. Yet, as he sat next to Fenris, Merrill's name didn't twinge at his heart so eagerly. Instead, the beautifully skinned man had woven his way inside with his deep voice and intimidating sneer. _Hawke, what the hell are you thinking? You just met this guy. Yes, and he's hot, okay? Really hot._

"I feel like people are always telling me that I'm brave and all this but in reality, I'm just... really dumb. The kids who smoked weed in high school did better on the state exams than me and I studied," he shook his head, staring off in the distance in complete disbelief as he recalled the memory. "Now my brother, he's the one that's brave. He's a huge asshole, it's probably where Sam gets it from, but he's actually brave. He's in the military, fighting for our country, and I'm just rubbing powdered sugar off of my face on a hillside."

Fenris frowned. Seemed like the man had very low self-esteem, zero confidence in himself. He found it strange. Hawke was a handsome man with arms that looked like he could bench-press a cow. Not only that but he was witty and had such adoration for his daughter, who he raised on his own. There were many things he should be proud of, Fenris thought, but there wasn’t possibly a way to express this without coming off the wrong way. The last thing he wanted to do was weird him out.

“Nonsense. You don’t have to be in the military to be a brave man. Do you not think raising a child in your own is a brave feat alone?” he asked. “Fortune favours the bold, no? Perhaps your luck is not as ‘dumb’ as you think it is.”

Hawke was dumbstruck as Fenris said this, unable to believe what he was hearing. This was a dream, right? This was definitely a dream, it had to be. He blushed deep red and looked back down at his sugary desert, hoping that the lack of eye contact would somehow conceal his blushing.

"I... I guess you're right, I never thought of it that way," he admitted, his shoulders slumping down a little in defeat. He took another slow bite of his food, trying to drown the new feelings swelling within him in the greasy fat and sugar. "I'm surprised to hear you say that actually. Like, a good kind of surprised. I... think of you the same way. You've been through the same things I have, raised a child on your own, and would do absolutely anything to defend him. That takes guts."

God, Hawke. Stop being so mushy, there's no way this is going to go anywhere if you keep being so fucking mushy. He took another swig of his beer.

"I... also think that you're really, really attractive. But I think that's super beside the point," he forced a laugh though his blush only got darker. God damnit, good way to try and lighten the conversation, smart ass.

Taking another sip of his wine was a mistake. While Fenris was successful in not spitting the liquid totally out and making a mess, it did not stop from a fair amount of it dribbling down his chin as he made a desperate attempt to keep it in with his hand. He quickly put the glass down and wiped the wine away with the back of his hand, cheeks heating up somewhat at both the compliment and the complete and utter fool of himself he just made.

“Sorry I don’t…um…I am unaccustomed to such things,” he said after clearing his throat. He stared down at his hands and noted how sticky they were due to the wine spill. _Compliment him back you idiot_ his mind told him. “You are…handsome yourself, Hawke. You put yourself down too quickly.”

Hawke chuckled a little as Fenris spilled his wine, unable to contain his smile.

"Here, I always keep wipes on me. Sam is a mess and a half." He said and dug into his pockets and pulls out some wet naps, reaching over and taking Fenris's chin in his hands and cleaning off the sticky bits, before turning to his hands. He knew Fenris would probably real back and punch him for this, he felt it coming, but Fenris smelled so good and his skin was so warm, he wanted to relish in it while he could.

Fenris was too stunned to respond as Hawke cleaned his chin with the wipe. His hands were large, much bigger than his own, but they held his face gently. He supposed it was to be expected from a man who took care of the elderly. As soon as he was there, he was gone again. He could hear Hawke talking, drinking in most of the words but was more focused on running his fingers along his chin where Hawke’s had been. Maker, he needed more wine. He poured himself yet another glass and gulped down a large quantity. The tingles of Hawke’s touch were distracting him, he needed to forget they were there before he did anything stupid. Was it normal to feel this anxious around an attractive stranger? He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt like this.

However, as quickly as the moment had begun, Hawke pulled away and tossed the dirty wipe to the side.

"There you go," he hummed, finishing the last of his beer. Was this his third or his fourth? He had no idea, but now he was finally feeling that satisfying buzz. "I'm surprised you don't get hit on like... all the time. I figured you'd be fighting them off with a baseball bat. Me, I... well, most of the compliments I get come from sweet old ladies who think that I'm their boyfriend or husband. I don't mind it, because I know it's not me they see. It's like... that loved one they miss so dearly and my presence is a comfort. They need that, so I don't ruin it for them. As long as it doesn't get _super_ weird."

He chuckled, leaning back a bit to prop himself up on his elbows, half-way laying down, half-way sitting.

 “Flatterer,” Fenris said, feeling a little more confident with the buzz of the wine kicking in. He took another sip and then topped up his glass. “Maybe the old ladies just have good taste.”

"Well, there is this one who knows it's me and she hits on me anyways," Hawke laughed, huffing as he laid on his back and curled one arm under his head, chugging down some more beer. "She makes me cookies on my birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s day... I tell her that she's the reason I put on weight and she's just 'Oh, nonsense Hawkey-poo!' then she pats me on the chest. I'm not sure if it's good taste. I think they see my arms more than anything else. Do you... really not have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend? Anything?" Hawke looked up to raise an eyebrow at him. He could feel the alcohol lifting his spirits as well, slowly turning awkward baby-face Hawke into suave, snarky confident Hawke.

“Hawkey-poo? How charming,” he repeated, chuckling a little. After another large gulp of wine, he shook his head. “No girlfriend, no boyfriend. There hasn’t been anyone since Isabela.” He tilted his body towards Hawke and leaned his elbow on the table, and in tow his cheek on his hand. “That’s Adrian’s mother. So, it’s been awhile.”

If Fenris could pinpoint any moment as to when his confidence was starting to become his downfall, it would be right now, as he stared at Hawke with half-lidded eyes and three-quarters of a bottle of wine in his stomach. Hawke didn’t hesitate to lean a little closer, letting Fenris rest against his arm. He grinned like a school boy in a candy store, he almost wanted to try to pull smooth one and wrap his arm around Fenris's shoulders, but decided against it.

"I... same here. No surprise there," he said. He found himself staring at Fenris now, openly, not caring if he got caught or not. Damn it, was that—had he drank most of the bottle already? Oh man, oh man... He finished the last of his sixth or seventh beer and he was feeling a bit woozy now, on the very cusp of drunkenness: this was the best part, in all honesty. He'd need to call Aveline to drive them home, for sure.

He watched Fenris's flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes, briefly wondering if his lips would taste like wine or how his deep, gravelly voice would sound whispering his name. He wasn't even paying attention to the kids now but, there were the neighbours there. It was fine, he knew Aveline or Donnic would be here at least. They wouldn't take their eyes off of Sam for a second. She was probably fine, right? He leaned in a little closer to Fenris, taking a moment to breathe in his scent and relishing in the deliciousness of it. _Maker, I'm in love. I want to marry him. Yep. I'm so in love._ Hawke pulled back a little after that, not wanting to get too much into the other man's bubble though they were definitely leaning on one another now.

"You know," he whispered, mouth not too far away from the other man's ear, and he smiled. "This is like... sort of a date. Nope. Actually, it's totally a date."

Fenris could feel the warm heat of Hawkes’ breath, he was so close, so very close. His heart hammered in his chest. He took the final sip from his wine glass. Hawke’s voice so close to his ear was making the hairs the back of his neck stands up, a light shiver. Alcohol certainly drove him to impossible things. His eyes flickered down to Hawke’s lips. Slightly parted, somewhat chapped. Beautiful.

He had never desired something so much in his life. Was it the alcohol? Or something else entirely? He couldn’t think straight through the fuzziness of his surroundings and twirling in deep in his stomach. All he knew was he wanted it.

“This is the single, most ridiculous and irresponsible thing I have ever done in my life,” he muttered. Carefully, he reached up and brushed his fingers along Hawke’s jaw, through the bristles of his beard. “Even on a date.”

Before Hawke could find the words to respond, he drew him in and pressed their lips together.

For a moment, Hawke was completely stunned, but not for very long. His hands found Fenris's face and drew him in, slowly running up his soft cheeks and then fingers lacing into his hair. Maker, he tasted just as good as he'd imagined him to taste, if not better. Could this be a dream? This was definitely a dream. This was some kind of sick fantasy Hawke's brain was playing out for him and in a minute, he'd wake up with morning wood and Burger sitting at the bed room door, barking at him.

Dream or not, damn him to hell if he wasn't going to appreciate this while he could. He didn't even care if other people saw them. It was dark by now, most people were at the campfire telling stories, the kids among them, and Hawke had other priorities. The alcohol in his veins spurred his confidence and his arms fell around Fenris's waist, pulling him closer as his teeth gently nipped at the other man's soft lips. Fenris was almost in his lap but not quite, it was at a point where if Fenris wanted to take it up to that notch, he could. But he could also pull away if he wanted, and free himself of Hawke's hold. Hawke hoped desperately, that if there was a Maker, Fenris would not pull away now.

The taste of him, the smell of him, every shallow breath and the brush of his tongue against his lips. If Fenris hadn’t already been intoxicated on the red wine, Hawke could have done it himself. It had been so long since he had touched anyone like this, allowed anyone to have him like this. Inside, he ached for the attention. Hawke was an enigma. Something about him spurred something in him that he had not felt for a very long time.

He yearned for more. There was no pulling away now. He wanted to take of him and he knew that Hawke would let him. Fenris shuffled into his lap, seated fully on his thighs now. He let his hands find the back of Hawke’s hair and nested his fingers within it. Warm. Everything was so warm. How much more did Hawke have to give? At this point, the man could swallow him whole and he would take it in stride.

The pressure of Fenris's weight on his thighs was absolutely maddening. He wasn't too heavy for Hawke by any means at all but just knowing that warmth was him that it was Fenris in his lap... it drove him absolutely wild. He pulled away from his lips for a moment to press sloppy kisses along the other man's silky jaw line, up to his ears and then down his neck, finishing with a short, playful bite. Fuck, he wanted everything. He wanted everything Fenris had to give and he wanted it right now.

"I dunno what you wanna do but," he breathed, his voice slightly above a whisper and laced with a drunken slur, vibrating off of the warmth of Fenris's inviting neck. “Can't do it here."

Hawke had a point. There were children here and no alcohol-laced lust would drive them to perform obscenities in front of minors. And fuck, he wanted it. He wanted all of him. Fenris’s eyes had fluttered shut, breath heavy through his nose, whilst Hawke had been moving his lips along his neck, so he had to re-open them. Even through his drunken haze, he could see the flush over his cheeks and found himself fixated on his spit-slicked lips. He had been staring for a moment when he realised he had been spoken to.

“You…know people who will watch the kids, yes?” he said with a slight slur, leaning his forehead against Hawke’s. “Your car, how far is it?”

"Not far, I think," he was lying. He had no clue where his car was but at the moment he didn't care. "The kids'll be fine, got friends here."

With that, he stood up gently pushed Fenris off of him, taking his hand in his own and tugging him off in the direction of the rows and rows of cars parked around the park square. He found one that looked sort of familiar in the darkness, though it could have been anything because he was so drunk. The door was unlocked, and that was really all that mattered in the moment.

Because, as soon as he got that door open, he grabbed Fenris by the waist again, picking him up with ease and pulling him into the back seat of the car with him, slamming the door shut after them with his foot. This area was extremely cramped and the air was quickly consumed with the smell of alcohol and sweat, but it was a beautiful perfume to the nose of drunk Hawke. It only spurred him onward as he kissed Fenris again, not hesitating to devour him completely.

He paused for a moment though, unable to contain his giggles at the realization that dawned on him just then.

"I... This isn't my car," he laughed. "I have no idea whose car this is and I don't care."

“Well I would say I hope they don’t mind but I don’t think they have much of a choice,” Fenris replied, cupping Hawke’s face and kissing him again. Every kiss was better than the last and he didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it.

There was barely enough room for the two of them, they ended up cooped up with Fenris pressed tight in Hawke’s lap. His hands found themselves exploring the expanse of his chest over the top of his clothes and grinding his hips down against him. There was hardly seconds between kisses, unable to stop himself from remaining lip-locked. His senses were alight, every touch heightened, perhaps aided by the limited light causing them to only just make out each other’s bodies. It was surprising that his body was so responsive, especially after so much alcohol.

Hawke groaned as the other man ground against his hips, responding with his own little hip roll and a harsh bite of Fenris's lips. It had been so long since he felt like this for someone, or was in this kind of situation. He was surprised he even remembered what he was supposed to do, but this new carnal drive just seemed to envelope him and swallow him whole.

He pulled away for a moment to fumble with the buttons of his shirt, his drunken fingers forgetting how button-ups actually worked and he grumbled in frustration. Why wouldn't his clothes just come off like he needed them to? Why did they have to choose to be dickbags right at this very moment? He pulled a little too harshly and there was a _pop_ , the pop of buttons coming loose from their sewn positions and clattering down onto the floor. He huffed in frustration, but at least now his collar was loose enough that he could just slip the shirt up and over his head. Normally he'd try to keep it on as long as he could but his drunkenness had no time for self-conscious. He felt powerful, strong, and he never wanted Fenris to stop touching him like that.

Fenris’s hands itched to touch the bare skin presented to him. It had been hard enough waiting for him to pull off the clothing and clearly Hawke felt the same way, judging by the sound of buttons clattering against the car floor. His fingers travelled through the thick stretch of hair littered across Hawke’s chest. It was such a stark contrast to his own hairlessness and he enjoyed it. While his drunkenness may have had something to do with it, he couldn’t recall the last time he had been with a man like this.

“Hawke,” he mumbled, sliding his hands along his chest until he reached the scratchy trail of hair down from his navel. He hooked his fingers around his belt. “May I?”

Hawke nodded, biting his lip and revelling in the warmth of the other man's touch. Damn it, he could live in this moment forever. He didn't care if they'd forget this in the morning, or if the knowledge of this moment would push Fenris away forever, he just wanted this. Fuck if he wasn't going to make every passing second count for something. "Yes," he managed to get out, pushing himself up a bit so his back was propped against the door. "Don't even... have to _ask_."

There had been a moment there where Fenris worried he might have said no and they would have been stuck in an awkward position. Luckily, that wasn’t the case and Fenris’s deft fingers made short work of the belt buckle. He pulled it out from its loops and let it fall to the floor. They were one step closer now.

As he reached for his zipper, the car felt entirely too hot and his skinny jeans entirely too tight. A poor choice of clothing in hindsight but how could he have possibly predicted something like this? That could be dealt with later though, right now he wanted something else. He spared a glance up at Hawke as he dug his fingers under the hem of his jeans and the boxers underneath. As he wrapped his hand around the thick girth of his cock, he wondered distantly how long it had been since anyone had touched him like this. He had told him that much like him, there had been no one since the birth of his child.

 At the contact, Hawke gasped. So sensitive at his point from the alcohol that Fenris's skin and soft hands touching him there could have been it for him. When was the last time he had sex? He couldn't rightly remember. Merrill was always in a bad mood through most of her pregnancy, and they definitely didn't have sex after Sam was born. Merrill was never home long enough for her to take a minute away from her daughter. Would it really have been before Merrill hit her second trimester? That was... that was more than six years ago. There's no way. He couldn't believe it had been so long and he hadn't even thought about it until this unbelievably beautiful man has his hand around his cock.

Hawke was much bigger than he anticipated. Fitting however, being the large man, he was. Gently, he pulled the shaft out from its confines and took a better hold. Both long and thick, pulsing in his palm with hot desire. The feel of it alone was enough to drive him crazy. Lust clouded over any rational thoughts he might have had. The heady sound of Hawke’s voice was on spurring him on, his name rolling off his tongue perfectly. He wanted to hear more, to feel every shudder and roll of his hips as he drove him over the edge.

"Fuck, Fenris," he whispered, head rolling back a bit to bounce against the glass window behind him. He took note of how clothed Fenris was while Hawke was half way naked before him, and it somehow made the whole scene hotter than it already was. Fenris's taught, strong arms beneath that tight grey shirt, his ass in those jeans. He could faintly see the shape of it in the dim light, he couldn't help but reach forward to splay his hands over it and give a tentative squeeze. Fucking perfect, how could it be anything less?

Fenris groaned in the back of his throat as Hawke’s hands roved over his ass. He rocked back into the touch, hoping that Hawke would take it as encouragement to keep going. Sweat was already starting to pool in the palms of his hands and beginning to gather on his forehead. He kept his pace slow whilst he worked Hawke’s cock, not wanting things to end yet, and rubbed his thumb over his slit. The only thing he could think was more.

"Damn it, fuck, I can't," Hawke panted, groaning with pleasure at Fenris's expert touch. It pained him to pull away but he knew he needed to. He had to see Fenris, all of him, even in this shitty light. There were decidedly too many clothes between them. He pushed Fenris off and muttered something along the lines of "too much clothes" as he fiddled with the buttons on Fenris's shirt and managed to pull it up over his head and off. Maker he was so beautiful, the patches on his skin continued to make stripes down his muscles, having no pattern but flowing together in perfect harmony at the same time. He kicked off his pants and boxers, pushing Fenris so that he was on top instead, capturing the other man's lips again as he fumbled with the buttons of his jeans.

He was already embarrassingly hard, and feeling that tightness at the front of Fenris's jeans only made him twitch with even more arousal. He wanted to see Fenris like this all of the time, every night when he fell asleep and every morning when he woke up. He wanted his life to be Fenris, kissing Fenris, touching Fenris, everything with Fenris. Maker, he was so drunk. Finally getting the pants unbuttoned, Hawke didn't bother asking for permission as he tugged them off but intentionally left the boxers on.

He let his hands fill themselves with Fenris's ass again, gripping it harshly and massaging it with his palms as he began to kiss gently at the other man's neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin. He let himself press flush against him, bare, throbbing cock pressing against the hard, damp spot in Fenris's boxers. It felt so completely amazing, like they were crafted from the same mould and were always meant to fall into this exact position.

Every sensible part of his brain told him to stop, that he shouldn’t be almost naked in a stranger’s car with the father of his son’s best friend. But by now, Fenris was too far gone to care about such sensibilities. Instead he focused on the matter at hand. Namely, Hawke’s hands on his ass and his mouth drawing out moans and whimpers, making him squirm against him. He had missed this, so much, more than he ever thought he could miss it.

He pulled Hawke up by his hair for another kiss, longing for the taste of his mouth again. There was a talent to the way he drew his tongue along his lips and inside his mouth. He found himself wondering what that same tongue might feel like making its way up to the length of his cock. But now he simply enjoyed what Hawke was giving.

It wasn’t enough though. He needed skin to skin contact. The alcohol in his system prevented him from feeling even remotely concerned about it all. He managed to wiggle his boxers down his hips and kicked them off the end of his legs. A brief thought passed over him where he worried that someone might walk past and see them. But it didn’t take long for the thought to dissipate and it gained no leverage in his mind. Not when they were both naked now, the relief of no longer fearing overheating from the clothing. Especially not when their cocks rubbed up against one another and the glorious friction had him gasping.

Hawke hummed with delight at the sounds Fenris made, like an angel despite the impossibly deep voice. The idea of being caught almost made it that much hotter for Hawke, knowing that someone might come back to their car to try to drive home only to find the two of them rutting against each other in the backseat. Hawke kept thinking about how sexy Fenris was like this, and all he was doing was keening for Hawke. At the moment, he was completely at Hawke's whim and would likely approve of anything the larger man would want to do to him. It was completely maddening.

"You're so hot," he mumbled, rolling his hips to grind himself up against Fenris's cock. He paused for a moment, pulling away from the smaller man's mouth to dip into his smooth, beautifully bare chest. "So sexy," he continued, running his tongue over the bud of a nipple while one hand looped around his cock, cradling it and running a thumb over the tip. He could hear the sound of Fenris's racing heart from here and it only egged him onward, taking the entire nipple in his mouth and spoiling it with his tongue as his hand slowly worked. As quickly as it began, however he stopped, taking his hands off of Fenris to gently rest at his hips, amber eyes slowly coming to meet gorgeous green ones.

"Tell me what you want me to do, Fenris," he whispered, trying to sound as sexy as he could despite the drunken drag of his tone. "I'm yours."

_Had his chest always been this sensitive?_ He wondered as Hawke’s ministrations over his nipples had him writhing against him. He couldn’t remember but nor did he care. A whine passed out of his lips when he stopped, missing the contact dearly. But now Hawke’s eyes were bearing down into him, making him feel more naked than he ever had before. He knew there was only one thing he wanted.

“Fuck me,” he rasped, rolling his hips up to brush against Hawke’s cock again. Through all the logical thoughts that hadn’t managed to bubble to surface, one did manage to push through. With what he wanted, extra materials were required. “Shit. We need…fuck,”

Hawke seemed to come to a similar realization, chuckling lightly as the words left Fenris's lips. Was he always this.... He didn't know, like _this_? Or was this special? Was this display something entirely new, existing because of and only for Hawke? He kissed his neck again, noting a small bruise beginning to form where his teeth had been.

"We do, and I... I'm not prepared for this," he admitted laughing at himself again, his thumbs making small circles in the other man's bare skin. "Maybe our friend here is."

He pulled away, reaching up into the front of the car to pop open the glove box. Yes, sure, this was _technically_ stealing, but he didn't give a fuck.

"Well, would you look at that," he hummed with delight as he found a little box of condoms and a small, travel sized tube a lubricant. The Maker was definitely on his side, playing as his wing man. There was no other logical reason for this. "Guess I can take you up on that after all."

“Lucky break,” Fenris replied, a smirk tugging on his lips. He looked at the items in Hawke’s hand. Lucky indeed. It seemed like the person who owned this vehicle was a bit of a pervert themselves. Perhaps then they could hardly complain about the mess they were about to make. Anxiety coursed through his veins. When was the last time he had something inside him? In his downtime, usually he didn’t have the time to do anything besides simply get himself off. His time with Isabela had been experimental to say the least, but definitely not much aside from that. A real cock however, that he couldn’t remember. “Fuck me Hawke.”

"Shhhhh," he hushed him, popping the cap off of the lube and oiling up a few of his fingers. "As much as I like really want to, gotta make sure I do it right.”

_Good idea, Hawke, tell me how that went again?_ He forgot how to breathe for a moment as he took in the sight of Fenris's body again, legs apart, begging and ready for him. When was the last time he had sex with a guy? That had to be back in college, but he swore there was at least one time he'd gotten really drunk after work and there was a thing between him and Anders. Whatever it was, it was before Merrill, so definitely a long time ago.

He made sure to be extra careful about what he was doing, pressing a small kiss to the patches of white on Fen's forehead as he easily dipped one finger into his entrance, moving with surprising ease considering he hadn't done anything like this in a ridiculously long amount of time. He felt like he was losing his virginity here all over again.

"That okay?" he asked, voice husky with his own lust.

Fenris nodded quickly. He leaned his head back, rocking his hips up to meet the movement of Hawke’s finger. It was strange, foreign, a given considering how long it has been since he had done this last. Then there was the fact that it was Hawke, doing this. His fingers much bigger than his own, his eyes totally rapt as he watched his every moment. Soon enough they would move past this whole preparation part. Fenris idly licked his lips at the thought. He knew how heavy Hawke’s cock had felt in his hand, what would it feel like inside him? It’d stretch him impossibly wide and he was more than excited to feel it for real.

He chewed lightly on his bottom lip, unsure what to do with his hands. Eventually, he settled for resting them on Hawke’s shoulders. He was twice as wide as him, and on top of him he completely enveloped him. There was no chance of seeing past his body. The size difference between them only turned him on more.

Hawke chuckled a little at that and continued, leaning in a bit so that Fenris could wrap his arms around his neck as he began to slowly finger him. He could tell Fenris was impatient, and he was too, but if this was the only time he was going to get to do this, he was going to do it _right_. He wanted this to be so amazing that Fenris would never forget how it felt, so that if this ended up being just a one night stand they both in the future would regret, at least it was fucking amazing.

He dipped his head down to bite at Fenris's ear lobe as he pushed in a second finger, gently massaging him open and curling his fingers inside, looking for Fenris's most sensitive places. Every noise the smaller man made pushed him onward, he was so warm, eager and tight, he kept imagining how it would feel inside, how long he would be able to last before it tore him completely apart. He pushed inside deeper then, feeling bold enough to push in a third and grab one of Fenris's legs with a free hand so that he could wrap it around his waist. He wanted to make a sound machine just of Fenris's gasps and moans as he fingered him so that he could get off to the sound of it. This was the perfect picture of Heaven. He never wanted it to end.

No matter how much Fenris might’ve wanted to, he couldn’t stop the noises from escaping his lips. Everything just felt so good. His fingers were so deep inside him, stretching him apart and taking him to his limits. If Hawke’s cock felt even half as good as his fingers, he was sure to lose it. His own cock had barely been touched and yet precome was making a steady puddle on his stomach. He worried that by the time Hawke was inside him, he’d quickly lose himself to the sensations and make a mess of things before they’d even really began. Not that he had much of a say, unless he reached down and gripped the base of his shaft tight enough to hold it in.

"Need more time?" he whispered, lips still brushing against his sensitive ear, pushing his fingers in deep again as he asked, rolling his wrist skilfully as he did so.

“No I..” he gasped, taking a deep breath and rolling his hips against Hawke’s fingers again. “I want you. Please.”

Hawke nodded, as if he could possibly turn away from that. He slowly pulled his fingers out, tearing open one of the condoms with his teeth and easily sliding it on, applying more lube there and around Fenris's stretched hole as well. He looked so beautiful, delectable. Maker, he wouldn't last very long inside of him and he knew it. He adjusted himself to that he was poised right between the other's legs, tip brushing against that inviting entrance.

"Don't hold your breath," he mumbled, taking another bite at his ear before his fingers wrapped tightly around the base of Fenris's cock and pushed himself completely inside. He took his time, but wasn't as slow as he probably should have been, fitting himself all the way to the hilt. He groaned loudly, unable to believe how amazing this felt.

He could have came right then, thank the Maker for small miracles.

"Shit, Fenris," he breathed, his shoulders heaving as he tried to keep from either A. losing all composure or B. not waiting until Fenris was ready and fucking the brains out if him. Both were technically under the same category but it took all of what little willpower he had. "Is... is that okay? Does that hurt? _Fuck_."

Fenris gasped loudly as he entered him, this nerves alight as he manoeuvred inside him until he was as deep as he could go. His legs trembled, struggling to stay wrapped tightly around Hawke. The stretch was overwhelming, he could hardly believe that even with all of the preparation, he fit so perfectly inside him. He truly was testing the limits of his body. Idly, he found himself moving a hand down under himself to where they were joined and tugging one of his cheeks further apart to accommodate Hawke and the large space he had opened up inside him.

“’s good just…need a minute,” he slurred, trying to focus less on the burn from the stretch. It would take a moment for him to adjust but soon he would move and things would only get better from then on. This was the hard part. If he was lucky, Hawke would find that spot inside him that would make everything worth it. However, he had doubts that he would be able to stop himself from finishing then and there once he hit it. It was hard to believe any of this was really happening. But none of these thoughts had room for what sober Fenris might make of it. After a moment, he spoke again. “Okay. Okay I’m good. Please just…move.”

Hawke groaned but he nodded, propping his hands up on the car door behind Fenris's head and using it as a pivot so that he could angle himself to pull out of Fenris and thrust right back in. _Fuck, damn it this feels so good._ He grit his teeth, letting out a subtle, but insanely carnal growl as he moved to bite Fenris's neck again, making sure he would leave a nice sized, dark mark there as he pulled out and thrust in again, setting a rough, fast pace, not bothering with patience or bothering with any of that sort of shit. He wanted to pull Fenris completely apart beneath him, piece by piece, obliterating him with every harsh, perfectly timed thrust.

"F-Fuck, Fenris," he huffed, pushing himself in impossibly deeper and searching for that magical place deep inside of Fenris that he knew would send him to pieces. Every movement more feverish than the last, furthering the conquest. "You're so tight, you feel so _amazing_. Oh Maker—”

Pulling him apart, he was. Fenris couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Every sound was more obscene than the last. He tilted his head further back, offering Hawke his throat for his attentions on a silver platter. Right now, he didn’t care about the questions that will undoubtedly follow about the marks and counted himself lucky that he’d be able to cover most of them with turtlenecks that were far from uncommon for him to wear. Then, Hawke tilted his hips and Fenris saw stars.

“Fuck, there! Hawke, right there,” he gasped. He had to wet his dry lips with his tongue, tears pooling slightly in his eyes from the overwhelming sensation. He could live in this moment forever, Hawke thrusting deep inside of him. But it couldn’t. It would never last as long as he’d want it to. He was growing dangerously close to the edge and by the look on Hawke’s face, it seemed he wasn’t too far off either.

Hawke took that as his invitation to repeat that movement and he made a mental note of every sound Fenris made, he wanted to remember it for the rest of his life. Just so that he'd know that he'd never hear anything more beautiful than the sound of Fenris moaning his name. He thrust back up against that place, all of his strength in his hips as sweat began to pool on his shoulders, dripping down the sides of his face as he panted ragged obscenities in Fenris's ear, about how good he felt and how amazing he sounded begging for Hawke's cock.

He reached between them to start pumping Fenris's erection in time with his trusts, or he tried to, but all in all it was really sloppy. He just knew he was close, he couldn't last much longer and damnit if he wasn't going to get Fenris off first. He wanted to say something sexy to urge Fenris into orgasm, but all he managed to get out was a broken, raspy, " _F-Fenris_ —”

It was enough. All efforts aside, it was enough. Fenris had never considered himself one for dirty talk until he experienced Hawke talking to him like that while he was on the brink of orgasm. A couple rolls of his hips back into the thrusts and the sensation of Hawke’s hand on his cock was enough to pull him over the edge. When he was this far gone, it was hard to tell whose voice was who’s. With a cry and gasp of Hawke’s name, he spilt into his hand and coated it with white.

He panted, everything feeling fuzzy around him as he calmed down from his orgasmic high and rode out the rest of Hawke’s frantic thrusts.

It wasn't much longer after Fenris's orgasm before Hawke too found himself at his release. He threw his head back to moan, burying himself deep inside as he came. His finger tips and joints tingled from exhaustion as he came back down to his senses, looking down at the mess between the two of them, Fenris's seed all over his hand and his heart hammered in his chest. All he could think was I'm in love. I'm in love.

Yet, he slowly began to remember where they were. The barbecue, some random person's car, their kids on the waterslides out in the park. He felt a pang in his chest as he looked down at Fenris, realizing that this... what had happened between them, probably didn't mean a god damn thing. He was waiting for Fenris to come to his own senses, to cuss Hawke out, to punch him, grab his clothes and rush out of the car like a blight was on his tail. He went on such a roller coaster from lust to happiness to grief that he just stared at Fenris, not sure what he was supposed to do or what he was supposed to say.

Sober Fenris was beginning to peek through his drunken haze and show his face. He sat up slowly, an ache in his lower back and his body caked in a coat of sweat. The first thing he needed to do was make sense of all this. He pushed his hair back with his hand, taking a deep breath. _Calm down Fenris_ , he told himself. But it wasn’t helping.

What was he supposed to do about this? What did any of this mean? This whole situation was ridiculous. Sex on a second “date” (if you could even call it that) was a whole new low for him. _Adrian_ , he thought, he needed to find his son and leave. How was he going to get home? He was in no state to drive. Even if he was sobering up now, that didn’t mean anything. He was going to have to call his dad. Shit. He’d get an ear-lashing for this.

“I should get home,” was all he said, reaching to pick up his clothes off the car floor. This wasn’t even his car! Or Hawke’s! Maker, he’d made a mess of this. Hastily, he started dressing himself, not quite getting all the buttons of his shirt but he didn’t care. He needed to get out of his car and as soon as possible. Hawke was still staring at him and a tinge of guilt travelled up his spine. Before he got out of the car, he turned to look at Hawke again. “I’m sorry.”


	3. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawke apologises to Fenris but it's Isabela that finds a way to set everything back in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go again! this one is a bit of a shorter chapter since im sorting things out by scenes :)
> 
> enjoy!

Hawke could only watch, dumbfounded as Fenris left. He sort of wanted to cry but he knew that was just the alcohol talking. He needed to get Sam, call Aveline, go home. Maybe forget that this ever happened and never leave his house ever again. He grabbed his clothes, pulling the jeans and button up on. He might have forgot his boxers and left the condom on the floor of the back seat but he didn't really care. He waited for Fenris to be out of sight before he climbed out, digging in his pockets for his phone.

AVELINE VALLEN: 4 MISSED CALLS.

Oh no... _Oh no..._

"Hawke! Where in the Makers good name were you? It's almost eleven o' clock!" Her voice sounded even more angry over the phone and it rubbed salt in Hawke's still-fresh wounds.

"Mom... can you—can you drive me home? And Sam? Please?" he managed. He rarely called Aveline his mom, but if he wanted her to feel bad for him, it was usually his go-to.

"You're _drunk_? What kind of irresponsible-" she paused, biting her tongue and trying to collect herself. "You will tell me everything as soon as we are at your house and Sam is in bed, is that clear?"

"Yes, officer," Hawke grumbled, looking forlornly toward the campfire that illuminated the park. "I'll meet you at the front gate."

Luckily for Fenris, Adrian wasn’t too hard to find. He’d promised his dad that he would explain everything later and right now he just needed to be picked up driven home. Fenris quickly grabbed his hand and insisted they needed to go home, dragging him away from Sam despite a protest from him.

“Grandpa is driving us home,” Fenris said. “He shouldn’t be much longer.”

“Dad I’m tired,” Adrian whined. Of course, he was. It was miles past his usual bed time. How irresponsible of a parent could he be? He’d done so well up until now at taking care of him. Adrian came before everything. But apparently all it took to distract him from his parental duties was a bit of wine and handsome man. This was beyond ridiculous. Now was not the time to think about Hawke or the pitiful look on his face when he’d climbed out of the car.

He noticed Adrian rubbing his eyes and crouched down with his arms out so the boy could climb into his arms. He held him against his side, letting him rest against his shoulder. Taking a deep breath, he waited to be picked up. He could get his car tomorrow, when he was sober.

Hawke flinched when he saw Fenris and Adrian and how Sam wasn't too far away. She was in Aveline's arms, sound asleep and snoring as she usually did. Aveline had a look that could kill as she stood up and left the campfire to approach Hawke, shoving his daughter into his arms.

"You have no idea how disappointed I am in you, Hawke," she growled, yelling so loud that everyone in the park probably heard it if they were sober enough to pay attention. "This is completely out of your character, what on earth has gotten into you?"

Hawke looked a little past her to see Fenris and his son, his heart hammering in his chest. Why did he want to hug the both of them so badly? Why did he suddenly feel the urge to make Fenris breakfast in bed and read Adrian night-time stories? He looked slowly back to Aveline and sighed, his face was the epitome of all kicked puppy faces.

"Can we have this conversation at the house please?" he asked softly, keeping his voice down.

"Hawke, you-" she paused, leaning in and inhaling his scent. She gasped, her cheeks going as red as her hair and get glare impossibly darkening. " _Hawke_!"

"Yes, I know, I'm actually the worst. Just please drive me home, please," he begged, and her frown deepened but she caved; snatching his free hand and dragging him after her to the car lot.

From this distance, Fenris could overhear Hawke’s conversation with the red-haired woman. But the sound of a car honking drew him away from his thoughts. He took a deep breath, waving to his dad through the car window and opening up the back car doors to put Adrian in the car seat. Once he was strapped in and already falling asleep, he moved to sit in the passenger seat. Before he could even begin to talk, he was interrupted.

“ _Wine_ , Fenris?” Sebastian, Fenris’s adoptive father, chastised. “You smell like a brewery. This isn’t like you. You know you can’t drink when you have a child to look after.”

“I know, I know. Please, yell at me later, I have a headache. I’ll explain everything once Adrian’s in bed,” Fenris replied, strapping himself in and holding his head in his hands. Sebastian sighed, shaking his head and beginning to drive home.

“This is how horror stories start. _Anything_ could have happened to Adrian, you know that don’t you? I cannot believe you have been so irresponsible. If you wanted to go out and drink, I could have looked after him for you. It’s dangerous to put him in this kind of situation,” Sebastian continued to lecture. Fenris knew he was in the wrong. Guilt weighing on his chest like tonne of bricks. He had a good point. It was a lucky break that Hawke had responsible friends who would look out for his child as well as Hawke’s. But he knew he shouldn’t rely on that. He should be the one looking out for Adrian. Him. No one else, especially not a stranger. He should be counting his blessings that Adrian was fine.

Sebastian pulled into the driveway of Fenris’s house. Fenris carried Adrian up to bed, tucked him in and kissed him goodnight. He took a long, deep breath, knowing that Sebastian was waiting downstairs and he was going to have to make sense of everything that happened when he could barely piece it together himself. Mustering his courage, he padded back down the stairs and sat next to Sebastian on the sofa.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asked. It was a rhetorical question of course, Fenris knew he expected him to tell him whether he wanted to or not. “Also, you might want to button your shirt up properly.”

Fenris looked down at himself and realised some of the buttons were in the wrong holes and some were not even done up at all. He’d been in such a hurry to get out of the car, he hadn’t even noticed. With red cheeks, he quickly fixed the issue.

“It... Adrian’s friend, Sam. You remember her? It’s…her father. It was his idea to go to the barbeque. I let myself have a drink, he assured me there were people watching the kids. I could even see them from where I was sat. But…” he paused. “I don’t know. I was drunk, one thing led to another.”

“Ah. You like him, then?” Sebastian replied and Fenris huffed, cheeks burning even hotter than before.

“It’s complicated. But the whole thing shouldn’t have happened, not like that. I should have been more careful, it won’t happen again,” he said.

Sebastian smiled and pat his shoulder. It was surprisingly relaxing and Fenris found himself sighing. He was glad he hadn't reacted too harshly.

“Just be careful Fenris. I won’t always be here to clean up after you. Now get some rest, alright?” he told him, standing up. Fenris nodded and showed him out the door.

 

When they arrived at home, Hawke couldn't put Sam in bed fast enough. He tucked her in and then quickly let Burger outside to go to the bathroom, sighing when his face was hit with the cool night air.

"I have to check on the animals," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "If you... come and help, we can talk outside?"

Aveline sighed and nodded. She was always a city girl, never a big fan of Hawke's farm, but she helped when she could. Usually she made Donnic do it, but that was neither here nor there. She followed him out the back patio door and into the barn where the whinnies of ponies greeted them at entry. Hawke grabbed the hose and began unwinding it so he could refill everyone's water as Aveline checked the food, but he could feel her glare making holes in his back.

"Hawke, what did you do?" she finally asked, not allowing the silence to continue any longer.

"I... Aveline, I think I'm in love," he admitted softly, looking disdainfully up at her and abandoning the knot in the hose he was trying to untie. "Like... for real."

She huffed, snatching the hose from him and finishing the job; "Hawke, you're completely wasted. You can fall in love _and_ take care of your child simultaneously. It's not one or the other."

"Aveline, I haven't had sex in six years," he said, obviously still in a daze from it all.

"No," she gasped, turning to look at him. "You? No. That can't be true. When was the last time?"

"Uh, at the end of Merrill's first trimester. It was valentine’s day," Hawke said dejectedly, not meeting her eyes. "I'm in so deep, Aveline, I can't. How do I apologize to him? Do... Do I send flowers to his work? A cake?"

"I can't give you advice for that, you know that," Aveline huffed. "I'm no better than you at these things. Tell me, is it the man with the vitiligo?"

"That isn't his sole distinguishing trait but yes.”

"This could have ended very badly, Hawke, you know that. You have to be careful. I won't always be there to save your ass."

Hawke tried to force a smile, hoping to lighten the mood; "You love saving my ass, Aveline."

"No, don't go there, you're still in deep trouble, Hawke," she reminded him. "Now, if you go on any more 'trysts' call a babysitter first. Got it?"

He sunk in on himself; "Yes ma'am."

The next morning Anders had called Hawke to ask for another ride to work, like he usually did, and they made small talk as Hawke dropped Sam off at school. He hadn't brought up Fenris up yet, and he was a little scared to, but he knew that Anders would be asking questions once they pulled up to the gifts and flowers shop. Anders looked at him like he grew a second head once they stopped, furrowing his brow.

"Hawke, this is not Shady Oaks," he said sternly. "We're gonna be late to work. What's going on?"

"No, we're not," Hawke assured him, turning the engine off with a click. "We have an hour, I need to do something."

"Do what? Why are we here, Hawke?"

"Okay so, I had sex with a guy last night."

"So, you're... buying him flowers?"

"An apology, we were drunk," Hawke sighed heading inside without looking to see if Anders was following him.  "You don't want to know."

"Are you not at all concerned, Hawke? Is it that Vael kid?"

"Yes, and don't say a word," Hawke huffed as he picked out one of the bouquets. "Should I go with blue or yellow?"

"Hawke! This is ridiculous!"

Hawke wasn't listening, he'd already bought the flowers, and a cake too. Writing out a little note, including his phone number, on a slip that went with the flowers. The cake said: "I'm sorry that we had sex in the back of a stranger's car." It was perfect, he had the man send it to the gym where Fenris worked and Anders let out a loud, aggravated groan.

It was the last thing Fenris expected when he arrived at work. The petite, blonde, young receptionist at the desk was waving her hand in front of him. On the desk was a bouquet of flowers and a cake box. There could only be one possible suspect for this, but he had to make sure.

“Did you hear me, Fenris?” the receptionist said. “These were delivered here this morning. Apparently, they’re for you.”

Fenris nodded slowly, clearing his throat and reaching to pry open the cake box and take a look inside. As soon as he saw the writing on the top of the cake, he blushed furiously and snapped the box shut. Oh yes, this was Hawke’s doing. Of course, it was. Next, he reached for the note in the flowers and studied it just to confirm his suspicions. He tucked the note in his back pocket.

“Thank you Orana,” he said. “I’ll put these in my car.”

Carefully, he picked up the cake box and rested the flowers on top. Orana watched him curiously as he waddled out of the front door with them and transported them to his car. As he placed them in the backseat, he couldn’t help but wonder what he was going to do with them. He stared at them, frowning. Talking to Hawke wasn’t exactly highest on his list of things he wanted to do. He opened the cake box again. It was a good quality cake, not the cheap stuff. He ran his finger along the icing and popped it in his mouth to taste it. Mm…sugary.

He was getting distracted. Quickly, he shut the cake box again and locked his car. He’d deal with it when he got home.

Isabela was sitting near the front desk, eagerly waiting for Fenris to return. She hadn't said anything to him yet but she definitely looked at the cake and she was ready to pry every last little detail out of him. Fenris had been in a "dry spell" for a really long time now. She'd been trying to convince him to get back out there but he was too worried about... well... you know... to meet new people. As soon as he came back inside, she grinned from ear to ear and waved to beckon him over.  She said; "Soo, tell me everything about him. Right now."

“Christ Isabela, you’ll give me a heart-attack,” Fenris said as he walked back inside. Of course, she’d be here. He pressed his lips firmly together and glanced at Orana, who was avidly avoiding eye-contact with him. Guilty as anything. Regardless, Fenris didn’t consider himself as someone who would kiss and tell. “What are you talking about?”

"Don't play dumb, I read the cake, and the note," she hummed, smirking at him knowingly. "Who are they? Don't leave out any details for the audience, please."

She didn't seem to acknowledge Orana at all, just happy enough to embarrass Fenris in any way she could.

He huffed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. He was almost half-tempted to believe that she knew about the delivery and came just to pry on his private life. There was no way she could have known however, the rational part of his brain reasoned.

“Dying as you are for details, I have to work. Sorry to disappoint,” he said, rolling his eyes. Then she was giving him that look. Adrian had the same one and it got him pretty much anything he wanted. With a frustrated sigh, he turned around to look at Isabela. “Fine but I really do have to work. How does coffee sound, after my shift?”

"Perfect, I'll buy!" Isabela winks. "But you better tell me _everything_ , don't spare a single detail."

The shift came and went, and Isabela was changing out of her sweats and throwing her bag over her shoulder, leaning halfway out the door as she grinned at her friend. Her and Fenris would always be best friends. regardless of their weird situation. "Hurry up! You promise me coffee!"

 

Fenris wasn’t exactly looking forward to having to spill intimate details about him and Hawke but if anyone was going to hear it, he’d rather it be Isabela. Perhaps it’d be a good thing, to talk to someone about it properly that didn’t have overbearing parental oversight. He sat down at a table across from Isabela with his mocha and swiped some of the whipped cream off the top with his finger to pop it in his mouth. Never would he admit that he had a sweet tooth, but he most certainly did.

“I trust you have been well?” he said as they settled into their seats, avoiding the main question at hand.

"I've been good, but stop avoiding the topic of the hour," she chuckled, happily and shamelessly scooping up whip cream with her finger, doing so as sexually as she could, which was to be expected from her. This was Isabela, after all. "Who was it? How'd you meet them? Was it big?"

Fenris groaned, taking a long sip of his mocha and licking off the whip cream that smeared across his top lip with his tongue. Might as well get it out of the way. So, he answered her: “His name’s Hawke. He’s the father of a girl Adrian’s made friends with at school. Single, before you accuse me of being somebody’s side piece.” He sighed and leaned on his hand, looking towards the window. “I don’t know what else to tell you. He suggested we take the kids to a barbeque, so we did. I was dumb and let myself drink. We got drunk and hooked up. That’s it.”

He paused.

“Well. Actually, no. That’s not it. Now I have no idea what to do. I can’t be with someone who gets me doing irresponsible things like that. I left Adrian on his own with another child until 11 at night. _Anything_ could have happened. Now he’s sent me cake and flowers. What am I supposed to do with that?” he continued.

"Well, maybe he regrets the irresponsible shit as much as you do. I mean, he's got a kid, right? If he's a dad too then he'll understand," she hummed. "But you haven't told me _anything_ about him! How hot is he? Is he a hipster or is he more like... body-builder type?"

“The things you care about Isabela, honestly,” Fenris tutted. He leant back against his seat. “But for the record, he does work out. Very tall. Broad. But he makes terrible, terrible jokes.”

 _Big everywhere,_ he thought to himself with a smug expression and took another large sip of his mocha. His heart was beginning to flutter just talking about the man. Could Isabela be right? She had more experience in dating than anyone he knew. You would think she knew what she was talking about.

“What about you then? Seeing anyone?” he continued. He couldn’t imagine Isabela ever settling with anyone. They had been close, in most senses of the word. But romantic relationships just weren’t really in Isabela’s realm of possibility.

"There's this cute girl in my building, I don't see her a lot because most of the time she's on mission trips or something like that, but she's very cute. I have a plan of action, that's for sure," she winks, taking another sip of her drink. She stopped though when Hawke came in, biting her lip as he walked past and she snickered. "Ooh, see that guy in the scrubs over there? I'd go talk to him but guys in scrubs usually like... you know, other guys." She shrugs, turning back to Fenris without a care. "I think you should text him, call him or whatever. At least see if he's interested in something real, like, not just a one-night stand, y’know?"

 

It was Hawke's lunch break, even though it was way past lunch, and he was so excited to sit down for a bit and get some iced coffee. Normally, Anders came with him, but Hawke slipped out before Anders got the chance. He needed to be alone, to wrap his head around some things. He was still wearing his dinosaur scrubs but he didn't care. He was a regular at this place, they always saw him in this state. He told the desk girl that he was going on his break and she just nodded at him, barely paying attention.

He was happy to be outside again, the fall air was welcoming to him. Cold weather was his absolute favourite kind of weather. The coffee shop wasn't too much farther down the street, but Hawke liked to take his time and enjoy the scenery while he could. He rarely got moments alone nowadays, and the few he had, he treasured them. And as he walked, all he could think of was Fenris. He wondered if Fenris got the flowers, if he would text him or not. Who was he kidding? He wouldn't be that lucky. No way.

Hawke smiled a little bit when he approached the coffee shop, enjoying the fresh, familiar smells. He opened the door and walked in, a little bell ringing and he waved to the cashier, who he'd come to know pretty well over the years.

"Hey!" he called. There was a decent amount of people here, but a shock of white hair caught his eye. He couldn't help but look, hope rising in his heart. _Could it be?_ It was. Plain as day, even wearing the usual turtleneck, it was Fenris.

He saw a woman sitting across the table, looking luridly at Fenris and licking cream off of her fingers in ways that were uncomfortably erotic. They seemed to be in deep conversation and Hawke felt his heart plummet. Of course, right, what else should he have expected? Fenris was way out of his league, he shouldn't be surprised that this happened. He bit his cheek and looked away, heading toward the counter like he hadn't seen a thing.

"Triple chocolate macchiato, please," he huffed, and his voice cracked. The cashier must've noticed, but said nothing.

Hawke moved to his usual table eventually, kicking back and playing on his phone. For some reason though he felt extremely... jealous? Was that the word for it? He wanted to walk over, pick Fenris up in his arms, and carry him off into the sunset. That was stupid, though. Fenris was unbelievably hot, he could have anyone he wanted. They were both drunk, it was the _only_ reason anything happened between them. But... yet... would it hurt to go over there? What if he just... walked up and asked Fenris how he was doing? Would that be so bad?

He looked back over at them and the smirk that woman had on her face spurred him on somehow. He stood up, putting on his best casual face and walked over, smiling as he approached and waving at Fenris like he was an old friend. Isabela was gawking, saying something about how the scrubs guy was coming over but Hawke spoke before she could finish.

"Uh- hey, Fenris, hi," he greeted, instantly regretting walking over there as soon as he could smell Fenris's cologne. "I didn't think I'd see you here, oh, and uh, hey to you too," he turns to Isabela holding out a hand, "I'm Hawke, uh, my daughter is a friend of Adrian's."

Isabela's eyes lit up at the name and she grinned, looking from Hawke to Fenris with pure joy in her eyes; "Oh, I'm Isabela. It's nice to meet you, sweetheart."

Hawke paused for a moment as his hand was released, now is the moment of truth, Hawke. You made it this far; "Wait, I'm so sorry, did I— Was I interrupting something?"

Fenris spent a minute turning his head from Hawke to Isabela, over and over. Shit. Well, the Maker sure had a sense of humour. Isabela looked positively pleased with herself whilst Hawke seemed mostly confused. This was a mess he’d have to clean up fast. He cleared his throat.

“Not at all. Hawke, this is…” he gestured towards Isabela. “Adrian’s biological mother. We were just catching up.”

He decided to bite back the part where he was telling Isabela all about him and their more intimate activities. That definitely didn’t happen. Nope. No way. And if Isabela was even a remotely good friend to him, she wouldn’t say anything either. However, he didn’t like that mischievous glint in her eye. It usually meant she was up to no good and that was the last thing he wanted right now. Any other time? Fine. But not now.

"Yeah! Please sit down," she cooed, patting the empty chair on her other side. Hawke hesitated, slowly taking a seat and cautiously holding his drink to his lips. He looked equally as afraid as Fenris. "These are adorable by the way," she tugged at the sleeved of his scrubs, intentionally getting a look at his arms and grinning even wider. She looked at Fenris knowingly and winked. "Where do you work?"

"Uh, Shady Oaks? The nursing home around the corner," he stammered, suddenly very conscious of his silly dinosaur scrubs now. "The residents like blue and green, it calms them down."

"Hmm, interesting," she smirked again and swirled her drink around in her hand. "I work with Fenris at the gym down the road. You know, I actually got some passes for that waterpark from the boss. He's always trying to get in my pants, y’know," she hummed, looking back to Fenris. "Maybe you two could use them to... uh- take the kids, before the nice weather goes away."

Oh. He saw what she was doing. Fenris didn’t _need_ Isabela to play wingman for him, he was perfectly capable of sorting out his own love life. He almost laughed at his own joke. If he could do that, he wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place. He grumbled under his breath, Adrian loved water parks. He was a strong swimmer, just like his father. The opportunity to go with Sam would have him buzzing for sure. But that also meant…

He glanced over at Hawke, taking another long sip from his mocha. The whipped cream smeared across his lip again and he wiped it off with his thumb, popping it in his mouth. He’d have to spend time alone with him again. There had to be some ground rules, first of all – no alcohol. The only problem with that was it left them to awkwardly talk things out.

“Adrian…very much likes water parks,” he said, wondering how Hawke would react. It was a simple statement, not a yes or a no.

Hawke looked over at Fenris, watching him do that thing with his tongue and the whip cream felt like a punch to the gut. Maker, could he handle being alone with Fenris? Well, Fenris had initiated it that night, in truth. Maybe if there was no alcohol... maybe. But what did Fenris want?

"I'd love to, but I'd hate to impose," he said dejectedly. "Sam would go anywhere as long as Adrian was there but...I mean, if Fenris doesn't want to, then it's no big deal."

Maker, he sounded like such a big baby. Why was he so broken up about this? Fenris was just some random person, Hawke has no reason to feel so hurt by his implied rejection as he did. The way he left that night was statement enough, and it was clear Fenris had feelings about the issue. But... what if Hawke was wrong? What if Fenris did like Hawke? What if... this could actually be a date?

Fenris pondered this. He’d never hear the end of it from Adrian if he found out he was offered a ticket to a water park and turned it down. He didn’t have to talk to Hawke much after all. It didn’t have to be a date. Be confident Fenris, he told himself.

“I’ll take a ticket, if you’re offering,” he said to Isabela, then turned his attention back to Hawke. “If Hawke wants to bring Sam, he’s welcome to. I am sure Adrian would like the company.”

There. Simple enough. No pressure, no obligations. It was all for the sake of the children. It definitely had nothing to do with anything else, especially circumstances that might involve alcohol and a car. Right? Hawke smiled at that, feeling extremely relieved.

"Sure, sounds like a plan to me," he hummed. Isabela grinned confidently and held the passes to Fenris, giving him a wink before leaning back in her seat. Inside, he was screaming. He wanted to talk to Fenris about what happened, he wanted to apologize profusely until he couldn't physically do so anymore. At the same time, though, he wanted to ask if this could be a date, a chance for Hawke to prove that he was a gentleman.

Why couldn't he prove that anyways? he thought suddenly. He could be the most proper of gentlemen there ever were. So, date or no date, he would show Fenris that he could handle this sort of scenario. No pressure, no alcohol, and no conveniently unlocked cars.

"Good, makes me happy to hear it," Isabela chirped. "Now, make sure you go this weekend. After that it's supposed to get cold as hell."

“Saturday sound good to you?” Fenris asked Hawke, staring down at the passes in his hands. What a convenient break that Isabela had these in the first place. It’s not like she knew about Hawke, not until this very meeting over coffee. Yet, he felt like as usual she had snuck her way in to try and manipulate his love life.

Regardless, Fenris was looking forward to telling Adrian the news. He’d be over the moon, especially if Sam was coming too. It had been a little while since they’d been to a waterpark, a combination of poor weather and not find the time once it brightened up. He made a mental note to check his swimwear still fit him if they were going.

"Yes! Sure, that's perfect," Hawke said, trying not to sound as excited as he actually was. "Sam will freak out when I tell her." His gaze drifted back to his watch that was beeping angrily at him currently and he sighed, pushing himself out of his seat. "Shit, resident fell out of bed. Got to go," he turned towards the door, waving a final good bye. "See you Saturday!" he yelled, practically running out the door.

Fenris watched him leave, waving back as he rushed out of the door. Hawke wasn’t great at keeping his excitement contained. He could tell he was bubbling with it, as much as Adrian probably would be when he got home and told him all about it. Admittedly, the butterflies in his stomach only intensified at the thought of the water park adventure. He couldn’t believe he was still feeling like this, even after sleeping with the man. His body betrayed him. He downed the rest of his mocha and turned to the real culprit of these events who was sat grinning at him.

“I bet you’re pleased with yourself,” he said, staring into the empty coffee cup and swiping his finger along the excess whip cream, not wishing to waste any of it.

"Ooh, I am," she crooned, chucking lightly. She took another sip of her coffee, enjoying the obnoxious slurping noises that she knew Fenris hated. She paused, however, when she noticed a distinct dark mark poking up from under her friend's collar. She gasped, reaching across the table. "Wait a minute," she moved to touch him so that she could peak beneath his collar but hesitated. She knew Fenris hated being touched. "Is that? ...Oh my god, that's a hickey. I'm so calling your dad."

The moment she said it, he slapped his hand over the spot, blushing furiously. He thought he had done a good job of keeping the marks covered up but clearly, one slipped through with Isabela’s observant eyes. That was to be expected, he supposed.

“ _Isabela_ ,” he chided. “He knows. Sort of. Someone had to pick me up afterwards. I’m assuming he came to his own conclusions.”

"So, it was good, huh?" she waggled her eyebrows, fiddling with the lid of her now-empty drink. She was actually very happy for Fenris. This sort of thing was probably what he needed, someone to get his mind off of, y’know, the kid. He always spent so much time wrapped up in raising the child that there wasn't much he did for himself. It was all for Adrian, Hawke (and his dick, as well, preferably) could change that. Make it an even mix of Fenris taking care of his own needs as well as Adrian's without too much of one or the other. "He definitely seems to like you, and the kid for that matter. That's important. Won't find lots of guys who don't back out as soon as you say the 'C' word."

“Him being a father as well certainly helps,” Fenris replied. It really did, didn’t it? Their schedules were closer together and they were more likely to understand each other’s trials and tribulations when it came to raising a child. It was nice to not have someone run off at the mere mention of a child. Such a thing was too much of a commitment for most people. But there were still plenty of things to fix before any of this could work out. And maybe it’d be a good thing to have something to focus on besides Adrian. He loved his son dearly, but the amount of time he spent fussing over him probably wasn’t healthy. That wasn’t to say he should have a repeat of the barbeque. “Thank you. For your… _advice_.”

"Any time, sugar," she giggled, giving him a playful wink and a squeeze of the shoulder, rising from her chair. "Now, I'd better be heading off. Call me if you need any more words of _wisdom_ , alright?"

She blew him a kiss, as she always did, before tossing her empty coffee cup in the garbage and ducking gracefully out the door.


	4. Waterpark Adventures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris and Hawke take the kids to the waterpark and figure some things out.

Sam was bursting with excitement, to say the least, when Hawke gave her the news about Saturday. She talked on and on over dinner about how she wanted to go down the biggest, scariest rides with Adrian and race him to each one. It warmed his heart to see her like this, to have a real friend. He just hoped that it would last, and that it wouldn't be cut short by Hawke's stupid mistakes; like sleeping with her friend's father, for example.

The days dragged by slowly, Hawke found himself anticipating seeing Fenris again more than he thought he would. He felt like he was in middle school, having his first real crush all over again. Of course, the conversation of the barbecue could still come up. That was definitely a possibility. Would he be prepared for that? He wasn't sure. It was so strange to think about it because while he felt bad, he didn't exactly regret it. He regret leaving Sam alone for so long, yes, but did he regret sleeping with Fenris? Absolutely not. That was easily some of the best sex he'd ever had in his life. That's what made this whole situation so... for lack of a better term, _sticky_.

He made sure he double-checked _everything_ before leaving for the waterpark that morning. Ponies had water? Check. Burger went to the bathroom, had food? Check and check. Chickens were locked up? Check. He spent less time in the bathroom this time, figuring it wouldn't matter what his hair looked like if he was getting wet. He wore his normal, maroon red swim-trunks and a black t-shirt that said "That's Mr. Asshole to you," on it. It was a prize, one of his favourites. A gift from Carver for Christmas one year.

Sam had her swim suit on, a bright blue one piece with pink polka dots. He'd braided her hair back for her, out of her face and tied neatly. She hated it when he did her hair for her, but it would be a lot easier to manage at the end of the day this way. After packing his little Single Dad Travel Bag (as he called it) with sunscreen, flip flops, and snacks, he tugged Sam out with him to the truck.

 

Adrian was bouncing on the balls of his feet next to Fenris. The pair of them had a knack for turning up first it seemed, likely due to Fenris’s insistence not to be late. Adrian didn’t seem to mind this time though, more excited about getting in the water than anything. He held onto Fenris’s hand as they made their way towards the main entrance. They’d have to wait for Hawke and Sam to arrive first, holding onto both of their passes.

“They’ll be here soon?” Adrian said, squeezing Fenris’s hands and hopping from foot to foot. He had insisted that he bought a new pair of swim trunks just for the occasion and Fenris had allowed him to. They were flashier than his previous pair, an obnoxious green colour with multi-colour fish circling around the legs. It was a stark contrast to Fenris, who had begrudgingly managed to find something not black to wear. He wore a pair of plain dark blue swim trunks, falling just above his knees. He knew that the bites that Hawke had left behind on his neck could still be seen, especially when he was walking around shirtless, but it was either that or overheating. He took his chances with the sun.

“Mhmm. Come here, let me top up your sunscreen,” he told his son, crouching down and pulling the sunscreen out of his bag. Adrian groaned but allowed him. The two of them, given their skin condition, had to be careful in this sort of heat. It was easy to burn and cause health problems. That’s why he brought the SPF 50 kind and doused both himself and Adrian in a thick layer of it.

Hawke managed to arrive on good timing this time, not as late as he normally was, thankfully. He parked the truck and threw his tote-bag over one shoulder, it was an obnoxiously girly bag with little flowers and things on it. It was originally purchased for Merrill at the baby shower but we all know how that whole thing played out. He helped Sam down and she continued to complain about her hair, trying to pull it loose from the braid and Hawke gently swatted her hand away.

"Quit that, you look pretty," he cooed, patting her head.

"I don't want to look pretty! I wanna be free!" she snapped at him, but her anger vanished when she saw Adrian in the distance, waiting with Fenris near the entrance. It was surprisingly clear for the day, not too many people were waiting in line to get inside. Good news for Hawke, he hated crowds. Sam squealed and ran over, practically tripping over herself just to get there fast enough and pulled Adrian into her arms as soon as he was in reach. She'd almost lifted him completely off the ground in doing so.

“Hi Sam!” Adrian giggled as he was pulled into her arms. This was going to be so much fun! He couldn’t wait to get started already. “I like your hair.”

"You _do_?" She looked shocked, looking from Adrian to her father and then grabbing her braid in one hand. "I mean... my dad did it. I hate it when he touches my hair but I guess if you like it, then it's okay."

She was definitely just as excited to get the day started. She used to go to the waterpark every time Uncle Carver came home during the summer time and this was where she spent most of her time with him. She had lots of good memories here.

Hawke gave Fenris a wave, but he felt his heart plummet into his gut when he saw the dark marks on Fenris's neck that were still there from the barbecue. If he wasn't blushing before he was definitely blushing now. The fact of Fenris being shirtless alone was enough to warm his cheeks, his body was even more beautiful in broad daylight, and he couldn't help but remember the taste of his skin at the tip of his tongue— _No_ , _Hawke. Now is not a good time._

It was disappointing to see Hawke with his shirt on, Fenris thought. The poor man must be sweltering in this heat, it was far from cool out. Especially knowing that under that shirt lay a thick layer of hair. He had felt more than see Hawke’s body in the car at the barbecue, given the time of day. It seemed unfair almost, that it was shielded from him now he could actually see.

"Uh hey," Hawke greeted, casually crossing his arms over his chest. He wished he was secure enough with his body to go without a shirt, it was blazing out here. "I managed to not be _super_ late this time.".

“It’s fine. Haven’t been here long,” Fenris said, putting the sunscreen back in his bag and instead reaching in for the two passes. He walked towards Hawke, taking note of the red in his cheeks and wondering if it had something to do with the marks he had left, and handed him one of the passes.

"Thanks," he said as he took the ticket, trying to get a mental grip on himself. "Have you ever been here before? This is one of Sam's favourite places in the world and I'm sure she's prepared to give you two a complete tour."

He chuckled a little at that, looking fondly over to his daughter who nodded eagerly at the suggestion, grinning with that same stupid, toothy smile that her father had.

“Not this particular one,” Fenris said, glancing up at the building. “We usually go much further out of town for water parks.”

Adrian gave Sam his full attention, grinning from ear to ear. Half of the excitement was simply the fact that they had never been to this particular waterpark before. There was bound to be new stuff, new rides, new experiences. Better yet, Sam was right here to experience it with him the whole time. He hoped his dad and Sam’s would stay friends forever too, it meant that he and Sam could hang out more.

“You’ve been here before?” he asked Sam, still giggling a bit from all the excitement. Then he turned to Fenris. “Can we go in? Now? Pleaseeee?”

"I'm ready if you are," Hawke hummed. "Let's go ahead, I guess we're not getting any younger."

"Yay!" Sam cheered, running through the front gates and Hawke rolled his eyes, stopping at the ticket booth to hand off his pass. Sam, however, was already leading Adrian to the first string of rides which were a little past the toddler area. Hawke felt a little nostalgic as he passed it, remembering when Sam was that age. She'd dragged Adrian into a line with her for one of the water slides, it was one mild enough for the kids to be able to go in alone. Sam was picky about that little rule, she liked her space, and preferred to be independent. She was a lot larger than most six-year olds so she managed to get away with it most of the time.

She turned to Hawke as he eventually caught up to them, pulling a water bottle out of his bag and she gave him one of her looks.

"You and Adrian's dad better be best friends forever like me and Adrian," she said, taking her friend's hand again. "That way we can see each other like, all the time. That would be awesome!"

Hawke chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to bite back things he wanted to say but knew he shouldn't and nodded.

"Whatever, champ," he forced a laugh, fondly cupping her cheek and running a thumb over it. "Just be good today, okay? No shoving in line, wait your turn, and-"

"If I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Got it, dad," she rolled her eyes, shaking his hand away and turning back to Adrian. "This one is one of my favourites, you get like this rubber board thing to slide on while you go down the slide and it's like you're flying!"

Hawke sighed disdainfully as he watched the children move up the line, tossing his bag onto one of the nearby chairs and huffing.

"She's growing so fast," he mumbled, more to himself than to Fenris. "I feel like I was changing her diapers like... yesterday."

“They grow up fast,” Fenris commented, listening to Hawke’s mumbling, not entirely certain if he was actually talking to him or not. Regardless, he followed Hawke over to the side of the pool where he could sit down at an umbrella table in the shade, it was just beside the ride. It would be nice to let loose for a while. If Adrian wanted to drag him along in the water later, he’d do so. But for now, he’d just sit down and relax. “I worry Adrian will enter adolescence in a blink of an eye.”

He sat down at the table, taking a couple things out of his bag including a water bottle and the sunscreen and placed them on the surface. Taking a deep breath, he decided it couldn’t hurt to put a little more sunscreen on and began applying it to his arms. From here, he could see Adrian and Sam excitedly waiting for the water ride. He trusted the two of them to be careful but this time, he would avoid the alcohol entirely and make sure he could see Adrian at all times.

“Come on! Our turn!” Adrian exclaimed, turning to Sam once they got to the front of the line and ran to grab one of the boards.

"Yeah! I call that blue one!" she giggled, rushing to grab it and heading to her spot where the lifeguard pointed, showing her how to get situated. "I bet you I get to the bottom first!"

Hawke sat in the chair beside Fenris, huffing as he propped his arms up behind his head and looked up in the same direction to watch the children.

"Sam? A teenager? I don't even want to think about it," he snorted, shaking his head. "I don't even know how I'd react if she wanted to bring some boy home, or a girl or... whatever. I couldn't handle it. Like, that's my girl."

He knew he probably sounded silly saying it, but it was true. The day someone else came a long and put in as much work into taking care of Sam as Hawke did, then they could have her. Until then, Hawke wasn't letting her go anywhere too far.

He had to admit, though, it was nice to sit down. He preferred this over the rides, his back wasn't the best in the world after all the work and stress he goes through daily. It made him feel older than he was acknowledging it, like he was slowly turning into his own father, but relaxing was definitely nice. He thought about bringing up the barbecue now that they were alone and could talk, but he figured it was best to leave that to Fenris. Hawke would probably say something wrong and fuck it all up anyways.

Fenris chuckled a little, setting his sunscreen back down and reaching for the water bottle inside. This heat really was overpowering. However, he had to admit that he preferred it greatly over the winter snow that was bound to come in several months. The heat he could handle, just not the cold. He took a sip from his water bottle.

“Here’s hoping that Adrian will continue to focus on his studies rather than other people. He works so hard, of course I want him to be happy, but it would be a shame,” he said, watching as the two children barrelled down the slide on the board, screaming with laughter and splashing down at the bottom.

Adrian rose up from under the water and shook his head to get his hair out of his eyes. He giggled and pushed his hair back with his hand, sticking now he was wet.

“That was fun!” he yelled to Sam, then turned to Fenris and waved at him. “Did you see that dad?”

“I did!” Fenris called back.

"We're all just hoping and praying, I guess," Hawke harrumphed. He looked up with a little smile though when he saw Sam and Adrian splash into the water, Sam's hair still neatly kept out of her face but making a wet black snake down her back.

"That was awesome!" she agreed, pulling herself up over the edge and taking a moment to help Adrian. "Dad, did you see who came down first? Who won?"

"I dunno, champ, I think you've been bested," Hawke said with a mischievous grin on his face. "Better luck next time."

Sam pouted and huffed, glaring at Adrian for about 3 seconds before smiling again; "Whatever! It's just cause you're smaller than me, that's all."

"Just let me know when you guys wanna go to the other part of the park, alright? Don't want either of you going where we can't see you," Hawke reminded her, taking another sip of his water.

"Yeah, whatever," she shrugged, ignoring her father and turning back to Adrian. "Wanna go again? I bet you can't win twice!"

Adrian stuck his tongue out at Sam, swimming over to the edge of the water and climbing out to run and get a head-start back towards the ride.

“No way! I’ll do it again!” he called out to her, bubbling with laughter.

"As if!" Sam retorted, chasing him up with determination but unable to contain her excited giggles as she tailed her smaller friend.

Fenris sighed and shook his head, but a small smile graced his lips. It was nice to see that Adrian was having fun. He didn’t know much about Sam but he did know his son and the poor girl probably didn’t stand a chance when it came to swimming.

“Adrian loves swimming. Goes to the pool every Friday after school. He wants to enter those…” he batted his hand mid-sentence. “Competitions, when he’s a little older.”

"Good! Sam needs to have her ass handed to her every now and then," Hawke laughed. "It'll be really good for her." He watched silently with a smile as they went back into the line and back up the stairs. Things were going well so far, would now be a bad time to bring things up? Even just casually? They couldn't just ignore it after all. Not while Fenris's hickeys were still in broad daylight. "Uh, I wanted to ask, did you ever get the things I sent? Like to your work?"

Good, Hawke. Very casual, just... keep it that way. Don't get weird.

 _The flowers and cake_ he meant. Of course. The whole debacle was the whole reason he was here. If Isabela hadn’t found out, he would’ve never gotten the tickets to this waterpark. At the mention of the items, he found himself rubbing his neck where the bites were.

“Uh, yes. The…cake was nice. Adrian had a slice. Not that he…he didn’t see what was written on it anything. The flowers I’ve…I’ve put in my garden,” he said. Why was this so hard to talk about? He could feel his voice wavering as he spoke. At some point, what happened at the barbecue was going to have to come up, he couldn’t pretend it never happened. Fenris just wasn’t sure if he’d ever be _really_ ready to have that conversation. It was now or never, it seemed. “You…wanted to talk? About what happened?”

"Sort of, yeah," Hawke admitted, giving Fenris brief side-eyes. "I didn't know that you gardened, it's... strangely fitting for you though. But, anyways, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. It would be nice to clear the air, especially if we're going to see each other a lot. But, really it's up to you."

He hated saying that, but he it was true. If Fenris wanted to pretend it never happened, then Hawke would do that. As much as it would hurt his feelings, as much as he would take it as flat out rejection. He would do it for Fenris, for the kids.

“I think I’ve done enough running away,” Fenris confessed, grumbling a little. It had always been the solution for his problems. Namely, pretending there was no issue by running away from it. “I do not regret what happened between us Hawke. I would like not to do something so reckless again however. But…I have found myself thinking a lot about what happened. I haven’t seen anyone since Adrian was born, I’m rusty with all…this. But I must ask, what is it that you want from this?"

Hawke's heart hammered in his chest at hearing that. _He doesn't regret it?_ Oh god, thank goodness he wasn't drunk because that alone would've drove him to tears.

"Well, I agree. I don't want to put Sam in danger because I'm thinking with the wrong head," he grumbled, pursing his lips a little in thought. "I'm not exactly fluent either. What happened between us... that was the first time in six years I'd done anything like that. I want to... I don't know. Try it, at least? But like, do it right. Go on dates, take it step by step. I want you, and Adrian, and... all of that. I shouldn't feel like this, we don't know each other all that well, but I do."

Fenris could feel his cheeks heat up at his words. It meant a lot, the idea that he not only wanted him in his life but he was willing to take in Adrian as well. He knew he’d be a foolish man to turn down such an offer.  No one had ever held him in the same respect that Hawke did. Sex didn’t even seem to come into the equation.

“I…I would be willing. To try it. For now, one date. A real one. No kids,” he suggested, looking over at Hawke. “If…Sam would like, she’d be welcome to come over and stay for dinner with Adrian while we go out. My dad will take care of both of them.”

Hawke looked back at him, almost stunned, hardly able to contain his smile.

"That... sounds nice, actually," he admitted, giving a nod as a confirmation. This was... this was really happening. They were going to go on a date, without having to watch the kids. Just... the two of them. His stomach turned with anticipation at the thought of it. "I'm sure Sam would like that, if your dad doesn't mind. Sam can be... rowdy. We're still working on etiquette and table manners."

Sam was a lot like him when he was young, in that respect. He remembered bringing mud pies to the table on Thanksgiving and his mom ripping him a new one for it. Sam was the same, but she'd also blatantly tell you if your cooking sucked or not. She didn't know the difference between good lying and bad lying just yet.

“My dad has a surprising amount of patience. He has wanted to meet Sam ever since Adrian started going on about her to him. I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Fenris replied, taking another gulp out of his water bottle to distract him from his hot cheeks. It had gotten so much warmer in here. Perhaps not only because of the weather but the prospect of actually going on a date after so long. He was bound to be at least a little nervous. “Did you have anywhere we could go in mind?”

"My friend Varric owns this really high up restaurant on the nice side of town, it's like... seafood and pasta," he explained, shrugging his shoulders. He was getting pretty hot too but he definitely wasn't taking his shirt off unless he was dying from a heatstroke. "It's called Bianca's. That sound alright by you?"

Fenris laughed a little awkwardly.

“I’m…allergic to fish but the pasta sounds good,” he said. He could remember when he was younger, the swelling of his tongue and the pain that followed the very first time he had fish. His dad had panicked as he grew light-headed and rushed him to the hospital. Ever since, he’d recoiled at the stuff. Of course, there was no way he expected Hawke to know these things.

"Okay, that's alright," he replied, already feeling excited just at the thought of going on date with Fenris. "And I'm going to assume that we are going to make a rule against alcoholic drinks?" He winked, grinning from ear to ear. "Also, when should we have this date?"

“I’m free after 4 on Wednesday. But if that’s not good for you, there’s always next weekend. And I think we can both agree, no alcohol. Or at least, no more than one glass. That’s…fair, isn’t it?” Fenris suggested. His fingers were twitching a little at the prospect of this date. How long had it been since he’d been on one? A very, very long time, was his final conclusion. How was he supposed to act? What even were the boundaries considering they’d already slept together once? He’d never been in this situation before. Everything was just going to have to be taken as it came

"I agree, but we should definitely make it clear what's on the table and what's off, if we both want to take this slow," Hawke hummed. "Wednesday is perfect, but I may still be in my scrubs at that time." He paused when he realized that he could feel heat frying his skin. He couldn't take it anymore, huffing he looked around to see who was around before pulling his t-shirt off very slowly and dejectedly. He grumbled something about blinding everyone around him but he could actually feel himself dying in that black t-shirt. "It's too hot for this," he mumbled, looking up and shielding his eyes from the sun. Physically, he felt a lot better now. Mentally? Not so much. "Anyways, boundaries. Right. That would be a good plan."

Fenris found his eyes wandering over to Hawke as he peeled his shirt off. It was strange, he could feel every dip and contour of his body as he drank in the sight. He was obviously self-conscious about his body but Fenris couldn’t find any reasons to complain. Perhaps he was a little on the chubby side, but it fit the rest of his body. Soon enough he realised he was staring and drew his eyes back up to meet Hawke’s face, remembering he’d been asked a question.

“Boundaries, yes. I suppose we should…take this opportunity to get to know each other better. Limited physical contact. If…kissing comes into the equation later in the evening then it does,” Fenris suggested. “Is 6 okay? I’ll give you my address and you can bring Sam. Then you can drive us to this place?”

"That sounds... perfect," Hawke answered with a smile. He noticed Fenris staring and it made him feel a little more confident, actually. He smirked at him, propping one elbow up on the back of his chair, intentionally doing so to show off the muscles in his arms and the definition along his sides. He thought it would look subtle, but it felt nice to have someone look at him and not tell him to skip out on the fast food from now on. "I can drive, as long as you don't mind my really shitty truck."

“Last I remember from the barbecue, I had little problem with your truck,” Fenris said with a snort of laughter, reaching for another gulp out of his water bottle. “It’ll be fine.”

“Dad!” Adrian came running towards him, wet feet padding on the stone slabs. He panted with the effort but quickly caught his breath and grinned cheekily at him. “Sam wants to play chicken fight. Can we? Please?”

Fenris turned to look at Hawke.

“I’m alright with it if Sam’s dad is,” he said.

"Sure! Why not, but I think she's just determined to win at something at this point," Hawke laughed, looking over at his daughter who blatantly rolled her eyes in disgust.

"Whatever! Not true! I win _plenty_!"

He stood up and stretched, leaving his shirt with his bag on the chair and making a bit of a show of cracking his joints because he knew Sam hated it when he did that. He chuckled at her again, running a hand over her wet head and sighing. "C'mon, lead the way kids."

He gestured down the pathway and Sam grinned, taking Adrian's hand and running with him toward the large pool, stopping at the edge to wave their fathers on.

“I’m gonna kick your ass!” Adrian exclaimed, pointing a finger at Sam.

“ _Adrian_!” Fenris chided.

“She said it to me first!” Adrian replied, puffing his cheeks. Fenris shook his head and crouched down, gesturing for Adrian to climb up. He helped his son up onto his shoulders and slowly stood up. Adrian giggled once he was fully up, enjoying the new height he had been taken to. It would be nothing on the height Sam would get on Hawke’s shoulders and he knew this, but it was still exciting. Fenris walked into the water, stopping once the water reached his hips. He’d have to go a bit deeper for Hawke to be stood in the water at all.

Hawke shook his head and picked Sam up, easily hoisting her up on his shoulders but not without taking a moment to feign dropping her of course. She screamed and cussed and he gasped, making an expression of mock horror. "Sam! What did I tell you about those words!"

"You almost dropped me!"

"Not an excuse," he sighed, finally settling her in. "One more, and we're going home early, understand? No chicken fight, no ice cream on the way home."

Her eyes suddenly sparkled. "You never mentioned _ice cream_!"

"Yeah? Well, be good, and watch your mouth," he shook his head, turning back to Fenris and offering him a warm smile. He was up to a little below the waist and Fenris was mid-torso, so he took the honour of kneeling down a bit so that the kids were level with one another. "Ready?" he asked, looking up at the kids before looking back at Fenris.

_Maker, he's so beautiful. Like, look at the way the sun hits his eyes. Oh my God._

“Ready!” Adrian called out, preparing himself. It didn’t take long before the two kids were pushing and shoving at one another, giggling the whole time.

Adrian was a strong swimmer, blessed with academic prowess, but physical strength was hardly his forte. Fenris blamed the fact that they lasted so long on his firm footing. But soon enough, it just wasn’t enough to hold them up. A combination of Sam’s strength and the difficulty involved with pushing Hawke over. The two of them tumbled into the water but quickly rose back above the surface. Adrian was laughing still as soon as he caught his breath, kicking his feet to float. Fenris smiled, glancing over at Hawke as he pushed his wet hair back.

“Best of three!” Adrian declared, tugging Fenris over to the shallower end of the water and clambering back onto his shoulders so they could go again.

"Hey, wait, Adrian, let's try something," Hawke hummed as he pulled Sam off, setting her in the pool. "Let's swap. If you're higher up, you might get a better chance!" He noticed hesitation in the young man's eyes but smiled, holding a hand to him. "It's okay, as long as Fenris is fine with it, of course."

Adrian looked from Fenris to Hawke a couple times. Fenris nodded at him, assuring him that it was okay for him to do it.

“Okay,” he said, smiling and being let back down into the water by Fenris. He waded through the water over to the Hawke and looked up at him. Meanwhile, Fenris came towards Sam and crouched for her to climb onto his shoulders.

Sam happily climbed up, grinning as Adrian got atop Hawke's shoulders, now at least twice Sam's height.

"Ready?" Hawke asked, and the kids cheer in response. Hawke laughs, letting Adrian at it and the struggle lasts hardly much longer than three minutes before Sam comes loose and topples into the water. Hawke laughed proudly, holding up a hand to Adrian for a high five and putting a hand on his hip. "Good job, kid! Put some right here."

Adrian laughed loudly, happy with his victory, and slamming his hand into Hawke’s for the high-five. It was clear who was the weakest link here, glancing over at Fenris.

"Whatever, dad!" Sam sticks out her tongue but she's still laughing, grinning up at Fenris. "I wish I was big, I'd like to see you two try to do this!"

“Come on Sam, I’ll race you to the big slide over there!” Adrian announced, pointing over to one of the water slides not too far from the pool and began clambering out of the water and heading towards it.

Fenris watched the two kids go, smiling. He was glad he had decided to come, against his better judgement. Adrian was having fun with his friend and he had somehow managed to arrange a date. That was something he couldn’t have predicted several weeks prior. He had a good feeling however that many more things in his life were about to change. But first, he’d head back to the table to get his towel and dry his face.

Hawke followed him back, watching the kids with a bright smile and chuckling under his breath. He grabbed his water and makes an attempt to waterfall-it but makes a huge mess of himself. He choked on that, laughing at his own stupidity, but the cold water actually feels amazing. It's so hot, like words cannot even express just how hot it was. Fenris planted himself down on the chair, taking out the towel from his bag and drying his wet face. He caught some his hair in the scrub, causing it to stick up. He glanced over at Hawke and snickered when he manages to pour water all over his face and offers him the towel.

"Adrian's a good kid," Hawke hummed after he recovered from his mishap. "I'm taking Sam back to the ice cream place after this. Wanna come?"

 “Sure. Ice-cream sounds good,” he said, picking up his water bottle with his other hand and taking another sip.

"Awesome, I'd kill for that right about now," Hawke huffed as he took the towel, sitting in his own chair and sighing. "I'm glad your friend offered us these passes, this is actually... great. I'm glad I came."

“I am glad we could go as well,” Fenris replied.

They allowed Adrian and Sam to splash away for a couple more hours, going from ride to ride and having fun in the water. But it was time to call it a day, the heat still boiling everyone but people were beginning to make their way home from the park. The kids were called over and they groaned and whined about leaving. There was one thing though, that would quickly change their minds.

“Adrian, Sam and her dad are going to the ice-cream place. You want to go too?” Fenris asked him and noted the way his son’s eyes lit up with delight. Ice-cream won every time. At this rate, he was going to start using it as a bargaining chip for him to clean his room too.

“Yes please!” he cheered, turning to Sam and grinning.

"Awh thanks, daddy! You're the best!" she giggled, completely bursting with joy as she ran up on her father to hug him and Hawke easily just scooped her up in his arms, kissing her cheek and playfully biting her ear to earn a little shriek out of her. "Ew stop! You're so gross!" Hawke laughed when she said that, but relented and let her back down. She quickly returned to Adrian, rubbing her cheek clean. "Can I ride with Adrian?" she asked, looking from the boy in question then up at Fenris with pleading eyes. " _Pleeeassse_?"

"It’s up to you," Hawke hummed, looking up toward the other man. "I don't really mind. She doesn't really get this opportunity every day."

“Sure, that’s fine. I’ll meet you there then,” Fenris replied, nodding. He led the two children to his car once everyone had gathered their things together and were dried off. He helped Sam and Adrian set up and strap in in the back of the car so they could sit together, making sure they were both okay and ready to go before he got in the driver’s seat. Adrian smiled widely, something exhilarating about having his friend sat next to him in his car. He’d never had anything like this before.

He drove down to the ice-cream shop, parking close by and once again, helping the kids out of the car. Now they just had to wait for Hawke to turn up, as usual.

Hawke arrived soon enough, parking in the slot beside Fenris and slamming the door to his truck shut a little over dramatically. He smiled when he saw the kids and nodded to Fenris, grabbing the door and holding it open for them just as he'd done the first time they came here.

"Go on, kids, you know the drill," he gestured for them to go ahead and Sam happily lead the way; dragging Adrian along with a skip to her step. Hawke let his gaze drift back up to Fenris and he felt his heart begin to pound again. _I'm going on a date with that guy. I've died and gone to heaven._

Fenris noticed Hawke looking over at him and smiled slightly, nodding towards the entrance to the ice-cream shop and following the children inside. He felt a little strange, half-naked in a shop but he supposed it wasn’t that strange given the fact that the waterpark wasn’t far away and it was a hot day.

Adrian decided he wanted his usual favourite (cookies and cream) this time and Fenris decided he would get some strawberry himself, only a small portion. It couldn’t hurt. Although he was sure Hawke would extend his charity for the ice-cream once again, he paid for his and Adrian’s before he got the chance to offer. He couldn’t ask the man to do that every time, not when he was more than capable of paying himself.

Sam got the mint chocolate chip ice cream, because she said she was feeling a bit adventurous, and Hawke just went for his usual chocolate with chocolate syrup and brownies (he was a man of basic pleasures, alright?) He felt a little disheartened when he saw Fenris paying for his own, but mentally decided that he would be the one to pay on their date whether Fenris liked it or not.

Once having the ice cream, Sam picked their same booth from before and climbed on in, bringing everyone else along with her. Hawke had put his wet shirt back on before coming in, not nearly secure enough with himself or his body to come in without one like Fenris. Sam happily began stuffing her face, but she paused as she looked Fenris over in the new lighting.

"Fenris," she began. "What's those things on your neck? Did you... get in a fight or something?"

Fenris paused, at first unsure of what she meant but he quickly remembered the bites. He couldn’t stop his cheeks from going red, unsure what he was supposed to tell this six-year-old, and found himself looking over at Hawke with furrowed brows. _Certainly not your dad bit me in the heat of the moment while he was passionately fucking me in the back of a stranger’s car._

“Uh. Yes. Some of the…people I work with at the gym get a bit…rowdy,” he said, voice wavering slightly. “Fighting and such. Nothing I can’t handle.”

Hawke caught Fenris's gaze and he smiled, but he had to bite his cheek to keep himself from laughing. Of course, Sam would ask him about it, Sam had no filter, she said the first thing that came to her mind and had no apologies. However, this also brought back to mind the memory of Hawke fucking Fenris passionately in the back of a stranger's car. It made him stutter in trying to grab his spoon and embarrassingly grip at thin air. He blushed, hoping it went unseen.

"That's so cool!" Sam cheered, her eyes twinkling like stars. "My dad is lame, he doesn't do anything like that."

“Grandpa said that dad always used to get into fights and stuff when he was younger,” Adrian commented, digging into his ice-cream.

“Grandpa told you that did he?” Fenris replied with a huff. Of course, he would. There had been some issues maintaining his anger and not channelling it straight into violence and aggression when he was a teenager, finding himself unable to properly deal with the people who antagonized him for one reason or another. It was something he hadn’t entirely grew out of, judging by the way he almost murdered Hawke upon their first meeting for his daughter’s actions. However, since having Adrian, he had calmed down a lot more.

"Mhmm!" Adrian replied.

"That's so cool!" Sam beamed, looking at Fenris now in complete awe. "My uncle Carver says he used to be like that, and that dad was a sissy."

"Try the other way around," Hawke snorted. "Carver didn't find his wings until middle school, at the very least. Don't let him put lies into your little head."

Sam giggled at that, looking back over at Adrian and stealing a bite of ice cream from his bowl. Hawke felt a happy flutter in his stomach as he watched them, wondering what it would be like to wake up one morning and make breakfast for both of them, get both of them ready for school while Fenris hauled himself out of bed too; tired and dishevelled... _No, Hawke. Stop. That's weird. Quit being weird._

“Thief!” Adrian gasped, noticing he’d been stolen from and reaching over with his spoon to steal a bite from Sam’s. Then he hummed, remembering how good the mint ice-cream was and munching on a chocolate chip.

“Fights aren’t a good thing. It’s better to work your problems out without using your fists,” Fenris said, looking at the two kids. “Better to be a sissy then to get your nose broken.”

"How are you supposed to do that?" Sam snorted, looking like she didn't believe a word Fenris said. "That doesn't make any sense."

"You use your words, Sam," Hawke huffed, though he was definitely smiling. "It's not that hard, you know. You'll learn how it works. Sooner, rather than later."

“Nothing is quite as satisfying as making a bully look like an idiot,” Fenris remarked, digging his spoon into his strawberry ice-cream and taking a bite. He wished he had been told these things more growing up. Sebastian did his best but through his adolescence he was stubborn and unwilling to listen to adults who knew better than him. The comments were more directed at Sam than Adrian, for his son was praised for being a quiet boy and didn’t really get into any trouble. It was why it had confused him when he was called by the school and told that Adrian had been in a scuffle with another child. It was so unlike him

Hawke looked at Fenris with a bit of awe upon hearing him say that, but like, a good kind. This was good for Sam, she needed to hear things like this. To hear it from Fenris? Even better. He said; "Like, you know those boys who pull your hair? Don't hit them. Just tell the teacher. She'll get them in trouble and you'll be scot-free."

"I guess," Sam caved, poking at her now empty bowl with a spoon. She diverted the topic away from herself on purpose, but smiled at Adrian and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "This was fun, we should do things like this all the time!"  

“Mhmm! I had fun, we should do it again!” Adrian said, grinning at Sam and taking the last bite of his ice-cream.

Fenris finished the last of his ice-cream and collected in the bowls. His eyes wandered over to Hawke, knowing that their kid’s happiness depended a lot on how it worked out between them. There was a lot of undue pressure for their date to go well. If all else fails, they’d have to squeeze out awkward friendship but he had a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to stay friends with Hawke. There was a lot weighing on this.

For the kid’s sake, Hawke desperately hoped that their date did go well. He couldn't be just friends with Fenris and he knew that deep in his heart. Especially after what happened between them. They may as well have been strangers but now that they'd had sex, Hawke felt a strange sort of possessiveness over Fenris and if he knew anything about himself at all, that wouldn't go away very quickly. Hell, he felt that way about Merrill for four years after they broke up before he finally moved on. His heart was a cage, it trapped the names and faces of everyone who entered it forever.

He cleaned Sam up and took the bowls back, pausing as he helped Sam out of the booth and checked her for any more ice cream messes so that she wouldn't get it all over the seats of the truck.

"I suppose I'll see you Wednesday then, Fenris?" he asked, arching a brow.

Fenris nodded; “Wednesday.”


	5. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris and Hawke go on their first date together and end up sharing more information about themselves than they intend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is anyone still reading this fic lol? anyway enjoy!

The wait until Wednesday was long and treacherous but waking up that morning left a funny feeling in Fenris’s stomach. Nervousness, perhaps? A lot depended on the success of this date and this was a _real_ date, not like the half-hearted ones they’d had before. Sebastian was staying at his house to look after the kids while they went out to eat dinner together.

Isabela noticed his good mood at work, eventually managing to figure out that he was going on a date with Hawke later and patting him hard on the back with a hearty “Go get ‘em tiger!” He’d huffed and shook his head but a little smile crept onto his face. It was finally time to move on.

The first thing he did once he came home from his shift was hop in the shower. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this anxious about a date. As he rifled through his clothes, his eyes stopped on the grey button-up he had worn to the barbecue. That shirt would forever be etched with the memory of the backseat of that car. Instead, he chose a similar one in black and a pair of dark blue straight-cut jeans. Nothing too fancy, he insisted, knowing that Hawke would not long be off work when he arrived and wouldn’t have freshened up much himself.

“Make sure your bedroom is tidy Adrian, Sam will be here soon,” Fenris told Adrian as the boy wandered past the open bathroom door whilst he was freshening up. Should he take some breath mints? Should he be _expecting_ a kiss?

“Where are you going anyway?” Adrian asked, stepping into the bathroom and watching his dad.

“Out for dinner with Sam’s dad,” Fenris replied and after a moment Adrian seemed to catch on. The combination of dinner plans and his father spending so much time caring about his appearance when usually he would throw the first thing on that looked good and be out the door.

This led him only to giggles and a “Are you going to get married? Is Sam going to be my sister?”

“It’s a bit early for that,” Fenris said spluttering a little. Luckily, he could escape the situation by the sound of Hawke’s truck pulling up outside. Fenris hurried down the stairs so he could answer the door when he got there.

Hawke hadn't had too much trouble finding Fenris's house. He'd had a haircut over the week because there were a few curling hairs at the bottom of his neck that didn't fit in well with his undercut look what so ever. He felt clean, even had his eyebrows looked over. He almost never let the hair dresser anywhere near those things but this... was a special occasion. He stuck with his standard button up look but instead chose a crisp white one that he rarely wore for fear of staining it. It showed off the broadness of his chest, the muscles in his arms, and the working-tan that he had developed over the years.

Sam was wearing just a t-shirt and some shorts like always, and she'd bombarded Hawke with questions about the 'date' the entire way there. His stomach sank a little when he saw the size of Fenris's house and his heart lept into his throat. He felt under dressed and his car felt three times shittier than it normally felt as he climbed out of it. He had been nervous for this, but now he felt even more nervous. The last time he went on a date like this was... well... College maybe? Would that have been with Merrill or someone else? He didn't even know.

Sam was chanting some children's rhyme about kissing, putting in Fenris and Hawke's names for show, and Hawke shushed her as he walked up the porch and rang the doorbell.

"Now, Sam, you better be on your best behaviour today, alright? Or next time, you'll sit at home with Anders. Got it?" he said.

"I don't want to sit at home with Anders!"

"So, be good," Hawke smiled. "And remember your manners. Always say please and thank you and don't eat with your elbows on the table like daddy does, okay?"

She rolled her eyes exasperatingly. " _Okay._ "

Upon hearing the doorbell, Fenris walked over to the door and opened it. Adrian had followed him down the stairs and noticed Sam tucked by her father’s side and waved frantically at his friend. He couldn’t wait to show her all the cool toys he had! Maybe he could finally play video games with someone who didn’t suck like his dad or grandpa. Both of them were awful.

“Hawke,” Fenris said, roving his eyes over his outfit and how good his arms looked in that shirt.  Clearing his throat, he looked back up to his face. Luckily, the bites he had left from the barbecue had mostly faded now, their lingering darkness still creeping out a little from the collar of his shirt but they weren’t hardly as noticeable as they had been. “You got a haircut.”

"Fenris," he hummed in reply, putting on a smile as Sam quickly shoved past him to reach Adrian, waving back at him with a grin. "I-... I did," he cleared his throat. "Is it bad? I would've taken care of this too but every time I do it just comes back." He gestured to the grey in his temples and shrugs his shoulders. He would always know that he was in his thirties even if everyone around him would assume he was in his forties or fifties just because of that little patch of silver. "Are you... ready to go, or do we need to wait for your dad?"

He peeked inside a bit, wondering if he might be able to see him. _What did he look like?_ He wondered. _Did he have vitiligo as well? Did he look like Fenris?_

“You look fine, Hawke. My dad's running a bit late. Do you want to come in? He shouldn’t be much longer,” Fenris said, stepping to the side so Hawke could walk inside.

"Thanks, you look... nice. The black is expected but, that isn't to say it doesn't look good on you," he winked and went ahead in, taking in the sight of the large house and feeling his heart hammer even harder. His house was a _barn_ compared to this. He could hardly believe his eyes.  "This is a... _really_ nice place you have, Fenris.”

“Thank you,” he mumbled as he closed the door behind Hawke and gestured for him to follow him into the living room.

 

"Your house is huge!" Sam commented as she came in, laughing gleefully. "I'm sure there are tons of fun things to do here. We could like... build a fort!"

“Uhuh! Let me show you my room!” Adrian cheered, hurrying over and grabbing Sam’s hand. This was all so exciting! He couldn’t wait to show her all the cool things. He dragged her up the stairs and into his room.

Sam eagerly followed him up, practically bouncing with excitement. This house was so big, she felt like she there was enough space for Burger to have a bedroom of his own in this house if he wanted. She was so thrilled to see every corner of it, this would be an amazing place for hide and go seek.

"Maybe if our dad's get married, we can be siblings. Did you think about that?" she asked as they breached the stairs. "We could have a bedroom _together_!"

“That’d be so cool! You could be my _sister_! I asked my dad if he was going to marry your dad but he didn’t really answer me. You have to help me convince him!” Adrian declared, running to pull the pillows and blankets off his bed so they could make a fort in the middle of the room. Once dad had left, they could steal some from his room too.

"I agree," Sam hummed, grabbing some toys or a chair that could be used to prop up the sheet in order to make a ceiling for the fort. "But your dad seems hard to convince. I know mine is. We'll have to make a plan in order to make it happen."

Adrian nodded, helping Sam prop up the blanket with the objects and then throwing the pillows inside. “We’ll find a way.”

 

“Do you want anything to drink?” Fenris asked.

"Oh, no. I'm good for now I think, thanks though."

Fenris took a seat on the couch. “It’s…all my dad’s money. My job’s pay is fine but definitely not enough to afford a place like this. He insists on paying for things still, I think he just doesn’t want to let go of his little boy yet.”

Hawke took a seat on the same couch, not sitting too close but a comfortable distance to keep things from being awkward. He propped one elbow up on the back of the couch and allowed himself to lean back a bit. _Fuck, even the couch is really nice._

"My dad was the same way, we were spoiled as kids. The house I have now is sort of like... the family home? It used to be his career, like he made all his money by farming corn and soy. He was pretty rich. When he left it to me, obviously I didn't want to follow his career. I kept most of the land but all the farm acres got sold off to pay the taxes," he explained, babbling on as Hawke was normally known to do. He let his eyes drift around the room, noting all the pictures of Adrian on the walls. It was heart-warming. "Your dad sounds like a really good guy. And, obviously you two are really close by the looks of it."

“He got me through some tough times when I was a teenager so I have plenty to thank him for,” Fenris remarked. Hearing the sound of another car had Fenris perking up and getting up to look out the window. “That’s him. We should go.”

He walked out to the front door and opened the door for Sebastian, giving him a quick hug upon contact.

“The kids are upstairs. Make sure they don’t make too much of a mess,” Fenris told him. Sebastian chuckled, patting Fenris on the arm.

“Of course,” he replied, then drew his eyes over to Hawke and looked him over. He was the cause of the debacle at the barbecue but it did seem like Fenris liked the man a lot. So long as he was happy, that’s what mattered. It’d be good for him to finally get back out of there after everything that happened with Isabela. “You must be Hawke?”

 _Holy shit, that accent._ Hawke gaped awkwardly for a moment but eventually regained his footing and composed himself, approaching the two with his usual smile and extending a hand to the man in the door way.

"Yeah, that's me. And you're Fenris's father? Mr. Vael?" he asked in as polite of a tone as he could. This shouldn't have made him so nervous but it _really_ did. What if he failed to impress this man? Would that ruin any and all chances that Hawke had with Fenris? He desperately hoped not. Impressing people wasn't usually his strong suit. "Also, I apologize ahead of time if Sam does or says anything rude. She doesn't mean it she's just... always honest. About _everything_."

Sebastian nodded, shaking Hawke’s hand and smiling. A little awkward, but at least he was polite. Nothing like the people Fenris tried to bring home as a teenager. He thanked the Maker for small miracles like that.

“I’m sure I can handle it. Now, don’t let an old man keep you waiting. It was nice to meet you, Hawke. Have a good time,” he said, ushering the two of them out of the door.

“See you later dad,” Fenris called as he followed Hawke out to his truck.

"Your dad he's... not biological, is he?" Hawke asked as soon as they were off the porch, unlocking his truck and holding open the passenger door for Fenris. He'd made sure to clean it as much as he could before this, make this piece of garbage at least look like an organized piece of garbage without crumbs on the floor or between the seats. "Oh, wait, never mind, sorry. I... shouldn't ask that question," he laughed nervously, clearing his throat. _Hawke, why are you such an insensitive idiot?_

“It’s fine, you’re right. I was adopted when I was very young. I had the opportunity to learn about my biological parents when I turned 18 but…I don’t know. I don’t really care about that stuff. As far as I’m concerned, he’s a real dad to me,” Fenris said, sitting in the car and strapping himself in. It wasn’t like he remembered his biological parents anyway. They were the ones who didn’t want him, so why should he bother with them?

Hawke climbed easily into the driver's seat and the engine started with a roar. The truck puttered a bit afterwards, but soon began purring smoothly and Hawke gave a sigh of relief. That was the last thing he needed, this truck quitting on him at a time like this. "Yeah, I get that. He raised you, so he couldn't be anything less than that, right?"

The ride to the restaurant wasn't a long one and by some grace of a miracle the truck managed to make it the whole way. She stood out on this side of town though. The streets were littered with convertibles and sports cars of all kinds. Hawke parked in his usual place, one that Varric always saved strictly for his friends. The two had met in college when Hawke was on the cusp of finding himself and Varric was just a writer and a businessman who liked his dumb jokes enough to give him a job, and eventually become one of his lifetime friends.

"I made reservations and that already," Hawke said as he climbed out to open Fenris's door for him. "Varric will definitely want to meet you, so I'll apologize now for anything awkward he says."

Fenris got out of the truck and looked around. It was surprising how many places he hadn’t been considering how long he had lived here. He often walked past but he had no reason to actually go to any of these places. Now he was with Hawke, he supposed it gave him a bit of an excuse to do this kind of stuff.

“A good friend of yours I take it?” he asked when he mentioned Varric. He had yet to meet any of Hawke’s friends or family, so it would be a nice change from him seemingly bumping into his all the time.

"He's practically family, at this point," Hawke chuckled, closing the door after him. He was tempted to hold Fenris's hand as they walked up to the front but he knew that wasn't quite appropriate just yet. If this date went well, hopefully they could hold hands on the second one. _Maker, ideas for the second date already, Hawke? You're such a mess._ "We met in college. I was going through this... phase. My sister had just died and my brother had left to go to the air force. I felt really alone and I did a lot of stupid things that I shouldn't have done. Varric owned a cafe near the college and he sort of has ears all over town. He knows basically everyone, so he totally knew about me and what I was up to. He helped me get back on a straight path, and he gave me a job. We've been inseparable since then."

“I am glad he could help you out then,” Fenris replied after listening to Hawke’s story. He supposed he mostly compared that kind of figure in his life to his dad. It was fortunate that he had someone though, not everyone got that kind of opportunity.

Looking around, the place was hardly what he expected. It wasn’t exactly the kind of place he would find himself, not exactly cheap but not a fancy restaurant either. That was upon the assumption that Fenris was the type to go out to eat in the first place, which he wasn’t. He had offered to take Isabela out to eat a couple times but she had just laughed at him. When you had a child, you didn’t really go to fancy restaurants. Adrian was well-behaved and had good manners, but he still wouldn’t trust him to not make a fool of himself somewhere fancy. Besides, the boy was quite content with ice-cream shops and McDonalds.

Hawke lead Fenris in and stopped to speak with the hostess, smiling politely and pulling an ID out of his wallet. "Uh, Hawke? Should have a reservation."

The woman looks up at him and to the ID and just laughs and smiles, nodding. She didn't even have to check her books to know who he was. "Don't worry, honey, you're taken care of. Come with me. The boss is doing some paperwork right now but he should be out soon."

Hawke nodded, and she guided them over to a small table toward the back of the restaurant beside a massive window that over looked the beautiful city outside. The sun was slowly beginning to set, and the sky was like a painting. Varric never failed to impress, he supposed. This spot was easily the most romantic in the restaurant. Hawke took his seat and tucked his legs under the chair beneath him, resting his chin on neatly on his hands.

As the hostess asked for their drinks, Hawke just said he'd have some tea but gestured for her to lean over to him, and as she did, he pulled his card out of his wallet and slipped into a pocket in her apron. "Hold on to this when it's time to cover that bill alright? Make sure Varric tries to cover it for me again." He winked, and she laughed, blushing a little bit.

"Sure, I can do that for you," she cooed, turning to Fenris. "Can I get you something to drink, sweetheart?"

“Ah, I’m alright thank you,” Fenris said, nodding at the hostess and wanting her saunter off in the other direction. He turned to look out of the window, gazing at the city bumbling with people and the lights of the houses illuminating the surroundings. It was an awfully pretty view and as he glanced over at Hawke, he wondered if this was planned. If the owner was Hawke’s friend, it would make sense that he was trying to play wingman for him and make sure this date worked out for him. What was it with people and pushing them at one another? He could come up with some bullshit about fate or destiny but he didn’t really buy into that kind of nonsense. “It…is a nice view.”

Good going Fenris. Really. The awkwardness of his tone just proved how long it had been since he’d been on a real date.

"Hmm, it is," Hawke said, though his eyes never left Fenris as he said that. He paused, realizing that Fenris was talking about the window and he blushed a little, laughing at how ridiculous he probably sounded just then. "Oh- right the _view_ , that view. It's pretty too. I mean, I like this one better," he vaguely gestured to Fenris and smiled again. "But, you know."

 _You're so good at flirting, Hawke._ He, clearly, hadn't been on a date in just as much time as Fenris had, and was struggling equally.

Fenris’s cheeks flushed a little pink before he chuckled softly. It seemed like he was going to have to get used to this complimenting business.

“Cheesy, even for you,” he said with a smirk, resting his elbow on the table and leaning on his hand. Hardly a complaint however. He could get used to cheesy, in fact he sort of _liked_ cheesy. It was oddly endearing, especially coming from a rugged-looking man like Hawke. Of course, anyone who knew Hawke knew that he was a huge dork under that thick layer of, well, _masculinity._ Fenris kept his eyes on him. “I like this view too.”

Hawke grinned, blushing as well. He felt his heart doing a little dance inside his ribcage, it's been so long since he felt this way for someone. He could have just sat there and stared at Fenris all day, if Fenris would allow it, of course.

"I can flex too if you want," he offered, putting one elbow on the table to show off his arms with a goofy smirk.

"Hey! Hawke!" A voice calls from the other side of the room and Hawke looks up to see a familiar stout man with ginger chest hair poking out from the v-neck collar of his shirt, a gold chain around his neck. Varric stopped when he saw Fenris, eyes widening in shock. "You must be Fenris, right? Dang, Hawke's dumb lumberjack act must be pretty effective if he's got someone like you on a date with him." The dwarf winked before turning back to Hawke and patting him on the shoulder. "I'm Varric, Hawke's right-hand man in most things, the one who saves him when he digs himself a grave."

"Oh, hush," Hawke rolled his eyes, but his smile made it clear that he was very happy to see his friend. "Varric, Fenris is the father of that boy from school that Sam made friends with. Fenris, Varric is full of himself, and for that I'm sorry."

"Oh, Hawke, you wound me," he put a hand over his heart as though he'd been shot, and chuckled. "Wait, the boy Sam also punched? I'm surprised you didn't kill Hawke for that. I would have."

"Hey!"

The first thing that took him aback was the man’s height. It was a little relieving actually, after being told he was rather short for most of his life. Fenris couldn’t help but how it worked out with Hawke being the gigantic height he was. Were hugs awkward?

“I was very close, I’ll tell you that. It’s nice to meet you, Varric was it? Hawke told me about you,” he said, addressing him. He could practically feel the enthusiastic energy off the man, and it came as no surprise to him that he was good friends with someone like Hawke.

"Did he? Only good things I hope," Varric hummed with a smile. "Hawke told me _a lot_ about you, my friend. Anyways, would either of you like any wine? Rum? Liquor? Anything you're into, I promise we have it, and it's the best you've ever tasted."

Hawke cleared his throat a little, side-eyeing Fenris as he turned to Varric.

"No, thank you, Varric," he replied shortly. "But would you let the waitress know that after our meal I'd like a box of those cinnamon things you make? Sam adores them."

"Sure, I can do that," Varric nodded, patting Hawke on the back again. He turned to Fenris, pulling a business card out of his pocket and sliding it towards him. "Hey, if you need anything at all, or you just need someone to talk sense into Hawke for you, give me a call."

He winked again before departing, leaving the two of them alone again. Fenris picked up the business card and studied it, cocking an eyebrow at Hawke and slipping the card into his shirt pocket. No alcohol was a given rule for this date. Couldn’t have a repeat of what happened at the barbecue. There were no children to be watching this time but that didn’t they could just…on a first date…! In the least, Fenris wanted to be sober the next time they…He shook the thought out of his head before a blush crept onto his face. He couldn’t believe he was even considering a _next time_.

“Interesting friend you have there,” he said, distracting himself from the intrusive, perverted thoughts.

"Yeah, he's _something_ that's for sure," Hawke sighed, shaking his head as he watched him go. "The wine here is really good, he isn't wrong. But, it's for the best."

He took a sip of his iced tea and fiddled mindlessly with his menu. He already knew what he wanted, he got the same thing every time, but he was tempted to try whatever Fenris was getting just for the experience of it. He wondered what would happen between them if this night went well. Would they kiss? He felt so silly about getting excited at the thought of that. I mean, he was a _grown man_. Of course, it was their first date, if they were starting off fresh that meant sex was definitely off the table _. Nah, you do it on the table on the second or third date_. He blushed at the thought and desperately ushered it away. He did not need that in his head.

"You mentioned at the waterpark that you garden," he said, trying to make small talk. "I never would have thought you'd be the type."

“Oh. Yes. I like to…stay active, I suppose. Gardening gives me something to do when I’m not at work or looking after Adrian. It’s mostly just flowers and such but I have an apple tree out back as well where I pick my own fresh apples. If you like, you should come see it sometime,” Fenris explained but quickly realized what he’d said. “Ah, I’m sorry it’s…hardly very exciting I know.”

Most grown men Fenris knew weren’t really into flowers. Well, for that matter a lot of girls he knew weren’t either. Isabela never understood what he got out of it, settling on the idea that _it looks nice, I suppose_ and that was it. Adrian had a bit more of an appreciation for it and sometimes tried to help. He liked the carnations best and liked to watch the bees land on the plants in the summer time. Fenris hoped that when he was older, he would help him garden more and maybe even take over for him some day.

"It's exciting if you like it," Hawke said enthusiastically, clearly enthralled in what Fenris was saying as he rested his cheek on one of his palms. "I'd love to come see your garden, if you'll have me, that is."

There were footsteps off to the side as the waitress returned, smiling warmly at the two of them before pulling out her little notepad and pen.

"Do you boys know what you'd like to eat tonight?" she asked. Hawke looked away from Fenris and up at her, pursing his lips for a moment in thought, as if he even had to think about it.

"The shrimp tortellini with the alfredo, please." Hawke replied evenly. "Oh, and make sure that whatever he gets, it goes on my ticket. Please."

He winked at her again and she giggled, cheeks going a bit red. Fenris quickly realized he hadn’t even looked at the menu and he picked up quickly, looking over it and trying to decide on something he’d eat. So long as he strayed far away from any seafood, he’d be fine, and skimmed over the pasta dishes.

“The bucatini amatriciana will be fine, thank you,” he said and watched the waitress write it down. He wondered if it was a bad decision, there was no _graceful_ way to eat that kind of pasta after all. He dearly hoped he wouldn’t make a mess and a fool of himself in front of his date. Right. His _date._ That’s what Hawke was right now. It was still a hard concept to wrap his head around. Well, what’s the worst that could happen? He’d spill a bit of sauce on his shirt and they’d laugh it off. Maybe this display of comfort would be a good thing for their budding trust.

When the waitress left again, Hawke turned back to Fenris and watched his face, drinking in every detail of his gorgeous green eyes, the thick black lashes, to the dip of his sharp cheek bones and narrow chin.

"I have a lot of land where I could garden if I wanted," he said, continuing the previous conversation. "But it's just... I dunno. I feel like I don't have time for hobbies. I guess my animals are my hobby, in a way. A really, _really_ expensive hobby."

He snorted at that. He briefly considered the idea of Fenris making his own garden at Hawke's house. That was fairly... domestic, but the warmth it brought to his chest also brought a fair bit of colour to his cheeks.

“That’s understandable,” Fenris said with a nod. He recalled what he had been told about the farm. It wasn’t that he’d never been to one but he couldn’t imagine what it was like living on one. All the animals seemed like a lot of hard work. It was no wonder he didn’t have time for other hobbies. At least, he thought with a smile, he was making time for him. “I suppose I am just fortunate to have the time to indulge in such things.”

"Nah, you just have a reasonable life," Hawke said with a small laugh. "I'd get rid of the farm and save myself some grief but, you know, it's my dad's. It's not up to me. I have to keep up the legacy so that when I die, Sam can have it and wonder why the hell she's still taking care of all these animals in the same way that I wonder that now." He was definitely checking Fenris out as he said this, observing his features from his jawline to his neck as if he were memorizing all of it just to be able to go home and paint it. The marks were still there, just barely, and it made his heart do strange things. "I'm sorry if I'm awkward at all by the way," he added finally. "I haven't been on a date in forever and the step-by-step process is really unfamiliar to me."

“I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s been a long time for me as well,” Fenris replied, noticing Hawke running his eyes all over him. It was flattering to be admired in this way.

Hawke didn’t give himself enough credit for his looks either. He was mostly drawn to his facial hair, remembering the way it has rubbed against his skin. It didn’t matter if he wanted to grow a beard or not, his face wouldn’t allow it. He was probably lucky that was the case, not only did it remove the pain of shaving, but given how the vitiligo on his scalp had turned patches of his hair white, he could only imagine what a black and white beard would look like. If he dyed it all white, he’d risk looking like Santa and if he dyed it all black then, well, it just wouldn’t match his hair.

"That gets me every time," Hawke admitted, shaking his head a bit. "You just... people should be knocking down doors trying to ask you out on dates. You’re so... so—” he swallowed, his cheeks turning bright red. "You're so amazing, like, every time I learn something new about you it just makes you seem that much more appealing to me. You could tell me that you had a corpse in your closet or something and I'd probably still ask you to go out to dinner with me again sometime."

“Flattering as you are, it’s just…not the truth I’m afraid. I pushed people away growing up, too aggressive. There weren’t many people I’d been with before Isabela. We’ve been friends since high school but we were never…I don’t know. Intimate for lack of a better word until much later but even then, it was never really a romantic relationship. We know how that ended. Since Adrian…People run the second you mention children. They don’t want that kind of commitment. It’s past-relationship baggage. What if their kid gets attached to you and then you realise it’s not working out, you know?” Fenris said. “But I keep to myself mostly. I was…quite content actually, to just live my life taking care of Adrian. I hadn’t even thought about there being anyone else until you."

 _Until you._ The word struck Hawke through the heart like a Cupid's arrow and for a moment he momentarily forgot how to breathe.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I have plenty of my own flaws and dating troubles," he said, trying to keep himself from falling completely apart. Into giggles? Into tears? He didn't know. "I never tried to push people away but I always accidentally did so anyways because I just... I was too much. Too affectionate, too silly, too awkward or too—…big." He paused at that, shifting a little and licking his lips a bit uneasily. "When you grow up constantly being told that you're not good enough and that everything is your fault you start believing it, I guess. If someone wasn't scared away by me, I pushed them away because I told myself that they deserved better than me. Merrill was my first really serious relationship because we both struggled with the same things. But... she just, doesn't understand that some of the things she does are hurtful and wrong even though she doesn't mean them to be. And she won't ever apologize."

He huffed at that, letting a silence fall between them before he looked slowly back up at Fenris again.

"And most people I like run away as soon as they meet Sam. Even if they're okay with the idea of her, as soon as they see her in action they're gone. So, I really, really understand how that feels," he said. "but, for the record, I don't see any aggression in you. Not when it's unwarranted, that is. If you had hit me the day we met, I would have deserved it."

All things considered, Fenris couldn’t think of a better thing they could be doing than opening up to one another. He had said they wanted to get to know each other better. Hawke had shown self-consciousness before but it made more sense now, if people had criticized him in the past. He knew what it felt like.

“I…get it, I think. But you should’ve seen me in high school. Always fighting, always getting suspended. It was… the way I dealt with bullying, I suppose. Granted, the people I told about it happening in school never did much but they never do. I didn’t want my dad to come storming in and complaining because…that was embarrassing. And he would’ve done it if he knew at the time. The…things they said about my skin, I could deal with that. It was mostly the other things. I…have? Had? Learning difficulties in school. It was one of those things I didn’t… _realise_ for a long time because I thought I was just stupid and everyone told me I was,” Fenris said. He paused, directing his gaze away from Hawke now to look out the window. He’d never spoken about this with anyone. “But when I found out that I had an actual problem, things got easier and my grades got better. I have something called Irlen-Meares syndrome. It…makes it hard for me to concentrate when I read. Gives me headaches and the words dance around the page. I can handle short bits of text but anything more than a sentence drives me crazy. I…have to wear these glasses,” he cleared his throat. “They’re embarrassing. They have…purple filters. Don’t ask me how it works but it makes it easier for me to focus.”

Hawke sat quietly and listened to him talk, watching his face very attentively. He was stunned honestly, he would've never known if Fenris hadn't said something. That was definitely worse than Hawke being _the fat kid_ that's for sure. He leaned forward on the table a bit, amber eyes trained on Fenris carefully, though his smile was welcome, comforting, and warm.

"Can I see them?" he asked, never breaking eye contact.

“I suppose,” he said, reaching for a small bag he had brought with him and left by his feet. It contained his wallet, phone, and a glasses case. He opened up the bag and took out the plain, black case and slid it across the table to Hawke. “I keep them with me just in case. You never know. But I…honestly had not intended for you to see me in them. They make me look ridiculous.”

Hawke gently picked them up, carefully handling them in big, sausage-like fingers. He looked through the lenses for a moment, but didn't put them on. Just sort of stared. It was... different. They were purple alright, though. It was interesting, he'd never seen anything like it. He looked back at Fenris and hummed to himself, gently leaning across the table and flipping the glasses around. In one hand, he reached over to cup Fenris's cheek and hold him still, with the other, he perched the glasses on Fenris's nose and pushed them up with a motherly touch.

Then, he sat back to observe, and he couldn't contain the smile he felt coming. It was... certainly different. He wasn't used to seeing hues in glasses but when he saw it now, it added a new note to the symphony that was Fenris.

"You're beautiful," he said finally, running a thumb over the other man's chin before reluctantly pulling it away. "Embarrassing? No. Never. Just... gorgeous. Just you. That's all I see."

“Flatterer,” Fenris replied, making light of the situation but could definitely feel his cheeks burning. No one had ever spoken to him like this. No one had ever responded to his glasses without laughter and questions, then followed by asking to try them on. All those years of being mocked for his intelligence and now… _this._ Someone who looked at him with his glasses on and saw something he liked beyond them. His heart raced as he carefully reached up to gently remove the glasses and tuck them back in its case. “Thank you though. It…means a lot to me, actually."

"I'm glad," Hawke hummed with a smile. He thought about leaning in to kiss Fenris, but the thought was gone when the waitress arrived with trays of their food. She set them down before respective persons, Hawke smiled, and thanked her as she went. He couldn't help but feel like a moment had just been ruined, but still, he was starving. And this place had _amazing_ food.

He took his first bite, savouring it and trying not to make any sexual sounds in doing so. He flicked his gaze back to his date and smirked. "Well? Any good?"

Fenris dug in to the food that was given, twirling the pasta around his fork and attempting to make as little mess as possible as he put it in his mouth. Surprisingly good, he noted. It’d been awhile since he’d gone out to eat. He wasn’t exactly the best cook in the world himself and many nights he ordered in takeaway.

“Very good,” he replied after he swallowed down the first bite. In fact, so good that he couldn’t care to elaborate on how good the food was and instead dug in to eat more of it.

Hawke chuckled a little at that, and it made his heart happy to see it. He dug into his own, letting his gaze wander out the window as the sun completed its setting and day gradually became night. He wished he'd come here more, the food was always so great and Sam loved seeing Varric. It was just a shortage of time and money, or so was his excuse. Maybe Fenris could be an excuse to come here more.

He finished easily before Fenris, to no surprise, wiping a bit of white sauce clean from his lip with his thumb. He felt a bit sad, though. He wasn't really sure that he wanted this date to end. He wanted to be alone with Fenris long enough to kiss him or at the very least hold his hand, just something. He desperately thought of an excuse, but none came to mind that wouldn’t be considered invitations for sex. _Think, Hawke. Think!_

Fenris set down his cutlery upon his plate and wiped his mouth with a napkin once he was done. Luckily, he managed not to spill anything on himself. A minor success. His eyes flickered up to meet Hawke’s gaze, wondering what he was thinking to have such an intense stare. It had been a wonderful evening. He could stay in this moment forever, the moonlight casting its glow through the window and illuminating the two of them as they sat together on this date.

“I suppose we should…go?” Fenris suggested as a couple minutes of silence. “You’ll drive me home?”

In an instant, it hit him like he'd been struck by a train and he turned back to look at Fenris a little too quickly.

"No, I uh," he stammered, not sure how to put his thoughts into words. "There's this... park, where they have this huge fountain and it lights up at night and it's... really beautiful. I was getting deserts to bring home but we could go there and just... relax? Talk? I..." he lets out a defeated sigh, slumping a little in his seat. "Maker, that probably sounds so dumb."

“Oh,” Fenris said, blinking wildly. It wasn’t until that moment that he truly realised that he didn’t want this date to end just yet. The idea of sitting under the moonlight with Hawke and being able to relax for a bit longer sounded pleasant. No stress of children or anything. Just the two of them, basking in the night sky. Their conversations so far had been good, eye-opening if anything. He found himself quite content to continue having them. “No, that sounds…nice, actually.”

"Really?" Hawke smiled like a kid who'd just been told Christmas was coming early and he stood, fishing for his wallet to put the tip on the table as the waitress returned with his box. She handed him back his card and Hawke pulled out his keys, looking at Fenris and found himself unable to stop smiling. He held out a hand for Fenris to stand. "Let's go then."

Fenris nodded, taking hold of his hand and standing up from the table with his bag over his shoulder. He glanced down at their hands. Hawke’s were so much bigger than his, enveloping his entire hand like a warm winter coat. Whereas his own were much smaller, fingers thin and long. He knew he should’ve let go of his hand by now but it was too late, it’d be awkward to slip away now. Hawke showed no signs of wanting to let go of his hand either. It was…nice. He was more embarrassed by a little hand-holding than the entirety of the intimate activities that had gone on at the barbecue.

“Lead the way?” he said after their moment of silence.

Hawke noticed that Fenris's hand remained and it made his heart pound impossibly harder. He nodded, unable to form whole sentences as he held Fenris's hand and lead him out of the restaurant and down the street. The park was only across the block, and it was recognizable by the beautiful green willows planted around the edges. Hawke lead him to the centre where the fountain was and thankfully it was as vacant as he'd hoped.

He found them a seat at the edge and laid out the cinnamon desserts, hardly able to believe any of this was happening at all. The fountain was gorgeous, glowing like a star of its own in the park night. Hawke hadn't been here since he was very young and the memories he had of stripping naked and dancing in this fountain at 7 years old were fond ones. He looked at Fenris and their still intertwined hands, still smiling.

"Here we are," he hummed, sitting back a bit. "I... used to come here a lot with my siblings. I just remember how pretty it looked and I just... I dunno. It sounds cheesy but I guess I wanted to know if you were more beautiful than the fountain. Answer is, easily. Easily more beautiful than the fountain."

“Sometimes I wonder if you’ll run out of compliments,” Fenris said, carefully manoeuvring their hands so their fingers were interlocked. Every time he said things like that, it brought a blush to his cheeks. Looking around, he wasn’t lying about the place being beautiful. The moonlight peeked out from behind the trees but it had nothing on the glowing light from the fountain. It illuminated the two of them, sat on its ledge, enough that they could properly see each other in the darkness. He could make out every soft curve and edge to Hawke’s body. After a moment, he shuffled in a little closer. The cool air of the night made the atmosphere much colder than it had been when he first left the house. Goosebumps were travelling up his body but he couldn’t tell if it was from the closeness or the cold.

"Never," Hawke chuckled, letting his gaze drift up to the sky above the tree line, speckled with twinkling stars. He let Fenris get closer and he raised an eyebrow at him, popping one of the deserts into his mouth. How he could still eat, he didn't know, but he was eating more out of habit than hunger. "Are you cold?"

It was such a stereotypical question that would probably lead into more touching but Hawke was very okay with that. Fenris, cuddled up in his arms? Hell. Yes. Besides, who knew when he'd get this chance again?

So, he’d noticed he was shivering a little. Definitely the cold. He was much better at dealing with the heat. As soon as winter rolled around he’d be bundled up in a big fluffy coat and ten layers of clothing underneath. He knew, once he looked up at Hawke, that if he said yes it would be the amplest opportunity for them to…well… _cuddle_. Hawke was a big man, one that likely gave very nice, very warm hugs. That kind of physical intimacy would be fine, right? It wasn’t like he was asking for sex on the fountain or anything.

“A little,” he admitted and watched to see what Hawke would do in response.

"Here," Hawke mused, scooting a little closer and lacing his arm around Fenris's shoulders, one hand gently cupping at his other arm and neatly folding the smaller man against him. They fit together so easy that it made Hawke question whether or not fate or ‘meant to be’ were actually... you know, _real things_. He wanted to bury his face in Fenris's white hair, and pepper him with kisses but he restrained himself. "Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” he replied. Fenris leaned his head against Hawke’s arm, not quite tall enough to comfortably rest his head on his shoulder. The man was built like a tank. However, he was very warm. He quickly found that the coldness was beginning to seep away in favour of Hawke’s body heat. Everything about this was pleasant. In fact, he was so comfy and warm that for a moment he thought he might fall asleep. “This is nice."

"Yeah, I agree," Hawke hummed looking back down at the other man. His thumb made small circles on his shoulder, massaging the tense muscles there and Hawke could feel his heart beating like a caged bird. "Fenris, can I ask you about something serious?"

That was never a good opening to a conversation. He supposed most of their conversations this evening had been rather serious, talking much about their younger selves and the load that society had put upon them. But for Hawke to outright come out with something he deemed as serious? Fenris’s mind raced through all the possibilities. What could he possibly want to talk about? What if it was a question he couldn’t or didn’t want to answer? He supposed he wouldn’t know unless he found out.

“Yes,” he said slowly, looking up at him.

Hawke could feel Fenris tensing beside him and it just made this whole thing so much better. Fenris probably thought he was gonna drop some big question on him or talk about his dead parents or something. He smiled, leaning in close to whisper in the other man's ears, lips barely brushing his skin. "What's green, fuzzy, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?"

“I—what?” Fenris’s eyebrows furrowed, looking at him with confusion. What sort of question was that? Where would such a question lead? Was it…some kind of joke? He couldn’t seem to wrap his head around what was going on. “I…don’t know?”

Hawke just chuckled a bit turning away to look back up at the sky distantly, his eyes twinkling with a kind of happiness that they hadn't twinkled with in ages. "A pool table."

Fenris paused. Took a minute to take a deep breath. Then, he rested his forehead against Hawke’s arm and laughed. Not a chuckle or a giggle. Full blown laughter, shoulders shaking and tears gathering in his eyes.

“That is the worst joke I’ve ever heard in my life. I was worried you know,” he managed to say, trying to calm down from the high. “I don’t even know why I’m laughing, this is beyond ridiculous!”

Hawke laughed right with him, to the point where his face hurt from smiling and he covered his mouth with his free hand, trying to pull himself together or he too would succumb to tears.

"You loved it, and you know it," Hawke teased taking one of Fenris's cheeks in his hand and caressing it with a thumb to wipe the tears away. "I knew you would think I was gonna drop some heavy shit on you. Gotta keep you on your toes. I also have lots more where that came from."

He cleared his throat a bit to stifle another laugh that was coming and lazily met the other man's eyes. He sat like that for a moment, one arm around Fenris and the other hand holding his cheek, staring into his eyes. This was the definition of perfect if there ever was one. He was too enwrapped in staring at Fenris to even move. Just appreciating _him_.

Fenris eventually calmed down and smiled warmly, leaning into his hand. He’d never met a man so ludicrous in his life. However, it wasn’t a bad thing. Far from it. It made him wonder he’d ever actually been so attracted to anyone. Handsome looks aside, he couldn’t remember the last time someone had made him laugh like that. All over a stupid joke. It wasn’t even funny! And yet somehow… His eyes travelled down to Hawke’s lips. Would it be too fast? Too much? It would only be a kiss, nothing more. He drew his face closer to his.

“Hawke,” he said softly, curious as to whether he was thinking a similar thing.

"Hm," was Hawke's only response as he instinctively drew even closer, hand on Fenris's cheek cascading down to gently cup his neck as he pulled the other man in the rest of the way so that their lips finally met. It lit Hawke's senses completely on fire. He tasted so much better than he did at the barbecue and this time Hawke could actually _taste_ it. It wasn't masked behind wine and beer, or drunkenness and lust. This was the _real_ Fenris and Hawke could feel himself falling in love with each second that passed.

The first thing he tasted was the sugar from the desserts he’d been munching on. Sweet and delicious. But soon after it faded away into something more real. Soft lips carving their way to his very soul with a simple kiss. _Hawke._ All he could think was _Hawke_. Heart racing, senses alight. Peppering kisses until they couldn’t any longer. Fenris was reluctant to pull away but air was something he needed to live. So, their parting was hesitant. And with lidded eyes, he stared back into beautiful, golden ones and smiled.

Hawke smiled back and sighed happily, equally sad at parting but knowing that this was what was best for the moment. _Take it slow_ , he'd said. _One step at a time_. He let his arm fall to Fenris's waist and he placed a small kiss on the other man's forehead, cherishing soft hair against his nose and the way he smelled like shampoo and cologne.

"It's getting late," he noted, pulling away a bit to look at his watch. "We shouldn't stay out too much longer."

“I’ve had a nice night,” Fenris said, still reeling from the kiss and relishing in the taste of the other man’s lips. He hadn’t entirely planned to get this far, to be wrapped up in his arms and their lips to meet. But he was glad that it worked out this way. He took hold of Hawke’s hand as they stood up, interlocking their fingers again and walking back to the truck.

"So, did you... want to do this again?" Hawke asked, looking toward the other man in the corner of his eye. His lips still tingled with Fenris's presence and he couldn't help but yearn to kiss Fenris again. _All in good time_ , he thought. They were _holding hands._ That was definitely a score, so he couldn't complain.

“I would…like that,” Fenris replied, nodding. _A second date._ He could hardly believe this was happening. But after the success of their first date, he couldn’t help but feel excitement bubble up in his chest.

He got into the passenger side of the truck and strapped himself in. Adrian hopefully had a good time with Sam as well, if he didn’t overwhelm the poor girl with everything. Both she and Hawke seemed shocked by the size of his house but he could hardly blame them. It was larger than most houses, in fact, really it was too big for just him and Adrian with two spare bedrooms. He turned to look at Hawke as he got in the driver’s seat and smiled.

Hawke drove Fenris home that night and exchanged another small kiss with him before finally letting the other man depart. When he retrieved Sam, she was in such refusal to leave that he had to haul her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, thanking Sebastian and wishing Fenris good night. He felt a warmth in his stomach as he drove home, remembering how Fenris's lips had felt on his, and he couldn't believe Fenris had actually agreed to go out with him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i (the fenris) drew a picture of fenris w/ his glasses over here on my tumblr -> http://the-tevinter-biscuit.tumblr.com/post/163372965131/fenris-on-his-date-w-and-wo-his-colour-filter if anyone would like to see!


	6. Picnic Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris and Hawke have their second date, a picnic at the park. The kids come along to cause trouble half way through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look another chapter! this one is a bit shorter, im just splitting up by scenes. next chapter will be a long one.
> 
> comments keep me posting <3 enjoy!

After texting over the next few weeks and talking when they briefly saw each other at the school, they agreed to take a day off work while the kids were at school to spend a day at the park to have a picnic. This was good for Hawke because he'd been meaning to take Burger to the park for a while not but had never really managed to find time. Hawke was due to pick up Fenris again which had become a good arrangement seeing as the truck made it home and back last time. He'd just picked a pair of cargo shorts and one of his t-shirts, this one being a t-shirt for 'JAWS'. He didn't bother looking too nice but he did check his face in the mirror at least 3 times before leaving the house.

He felt those familiar nerves return when he'd pulled into Fenris's driveway, and they worsened when he walked up on the porch. He shouldn't have felt so anxious, these two had had sex after all. Shouldn't that alleviate all the pressure? Apparently not. He gently knocked at the door with the back of his hand, idly stuffing the other deep into his pocket.

Fenris fumbled through his clothes. A plain white t-shirt would be fine. It was warm out so he looked through his options. It was hot enough for shorts but the only clean pair were his jogging shorts, that he wore for his morning run. They cut off at his mid-thigh and he worried that he would give Hawke the wrong idea. Make him want something they shouldn’t rush into right away. He really needed to do his laundry. Instead, he opted for his usual black jeans. He dealt with the heat quite well and if it got too hot, well, he could just roll them up. As he put them on, he distantly thought that maybe one day Hawke could see those shorts but quickly dismissed that devil on his shoulder.

When he heard the knock on the door, he walked over and opened it. He grabbed his house keys and shoved them in his pocket, then let his eyes drink in Hawke, pausing on his exposed legs. It was nice to see him again. This was going to be their second date now. A picnic was a nice, relaxing opportunity to spend time together out in the sun.

“Hawke,” he said. “Ready to go?”

"Mhm, Burger's in the back of the truck, he's been super excited about this whole thing," Hawke replied with a smile. Man, he loved seeing Fenris's arms. There weren't any coherent words that he could use to describe how he was always strangely turned on by Fenris's arms. He gestured to the truck where his massive mastiff-mix was sitting proudly in the bed, ears perked up and tail wagging. He barked when he saw Fenris on the porch, his brown eyes seeming to shine a little brighter.

"Also, I'm sorry if he's a bit much for you," Hawke said as they began walking toward the truck, and he, as usual, opened the door for Fenris. "He's... _a lot_ of dog."

He chuckled, eyes drifting over to the dog in the back before he got in the passenger side of the truck and strapped himself in. He found himself already starting to get used to the vehicle and growing a newfound appreciation for it. Then he waited for Hawke to get in the driver’s side before he spoke to him.

“I don’t mind,” he said. “Adrian asked for a puppy but I just don’t think we have the time to properly clean up after one. But I have no problem with dogs.”

"I get that, I just can't live without them," Hawke chuckled. "Burger is quite a charmer too, even though he's just a little bit scary."

The ride to the park wasn’t a long one, and it was the same park that they visited on their first date. He could remember kissing Fenris by the fountain and it made his heart sing a little bit. He found a good place to park his truck and climbed out, opening the door for Fenris and then popping open the tailgate so that Burger could climb out too. The dog obediently waited for Hawke to put on the leash and harness before bouncing happily over to Fenris and rubbing his head up against the other man's leg.

"Fenris, this is Burger, Burger, this is Fenris," Hawke laughed, his eyes glistening with pride as he watched the two of them.

“Hello,” Fenris said to Burger, watching the dog wag his tail happily and stare up at him. He couldn’t help but feel a little ridiculous talking to the animal but he felt a little better when he barked in response. Fenris reached out to scratch behind his ears. A very big dog indeed, though they always say that dogs are like their owners. It just so happened that Hawke himself was also a very big man. Perhaps the two of them were well-suited for one another.

"I hope you're okay with deli," Hawke hummed as he led the way into the park, finding a nice spot beneath a tree with a view of the fountain and laying out a blanket. There were a few other people about, dog walkers, joggers and the like. "That's the best thing that I could throw together for this. My cooking skills are not... amazing."

He chuckled as he sat down, setting the basket of food off to one side.

“They can’t be any worse than mine, I wouldn’t worry,” Fenris said with a hum, sitting down on the blanket and looking around. The sun was blazing down upon them so the shade from the tree was refreshing, the park just as wonderful in the day as it was at night. Of course, all that really mattered was that Hawke was with him. He had forgotten how nice it was to take a break from work and truly just enjoy himself on a nice day in the sun with no kids to worry about.

"Well if it's really awful, I'll buy us some food from the cafe around the block," Hawke laughed. He'd sat down beside Fenris and they weren't too close but close enough for comfort. Burger had begun entertaining himself with a couple of bugs in the grass, rolling about and barking. He seemed to be in his own little bit of Heaven. "How has your week been, by the way? I never really asked."

“Nothing new particularly, but it’s been alright. Just working, you know how it is,” Fenris replied, looking up at the sky. There weren’t many clouds around, a couple occasionally floating by it was mostly clear blue skies. A rare occurrence. “I heard from Adrian that the school is getting a new principal, did Sam tell you? I don’t know what they’re doing with that Orsino guy but I never liked him anyway. Hopefully they’ll get someone better.”

"A new principal, huh?" Hawke pursed his lips, propping his back up against the nearby tree and crossing his arms over his belly. "Actually, yeah, I heard that too. Sam gets sent to the principal's office... _often_. The thing is, this new guy never called me when Sam got in trouble. At least, not this week. She spat gum at a teacher and he just yelled at her and took her recess privileges. I'm... not sure how I feel about that. Not that she shouldn't be punished but I want to be the one yelling at my child, not some stranger. If that makes any sense at all."

Fenris nodded. He could understand that. Adrian didn’t particularly get in trouble at school but if he did get into any serious bother like when Sam hit him, he would want to be there to handle it. After all, he didn’t exactly trust the people in school to handle his child the way he’d want them to handle him.

“Typical they would just get someone worse,” Fenris commented. Schools could never seem to do anything right or get any decent teachers in. The school he sent Adrian to was the best close by and he didn’t want to send his 6-year-old out of town for school. He wanted to be close, where he could get to him easily if anything were to happen.

Hawke laughed at that and nodded in agreement, letting his hand rest on top of Fenris's. "Typical, isn't it? Maybe he just has a temper. He could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to the school."

He desperately hoped so. This was the only school in the area and if this didn't work out, Sam wouldn't have anywhere else to go unless Hawke moved somewhere else.

“Maybe,” Fenris replied and then stretched, throwing his arms into the air and taking a long deep breath. His gaze lingered over to the picnic basket Hawke had brought and lifted the lid to have a small peek inside. His stomach was beginning to rumble a little and food would do the trick. It was time to test Hawke’s cooking. “What did you bring then?"

"Let's see here," Hawke cracks his knuckles and brings the basket close, fishing around inside for a minute. "It's just some simple sandwiches, nothing really special. I wasn't sure what you liked, but I made a turkey club, a chicken salad sandwich, since I knew tuna was off the menu, uhh... ham and cheddar, deli roast beef and swiss and oh, right, Sam and I baked cookies together last night for good measure."

Hawke grinned a little at the last part, remembering how she smeared dough across the bridge of her nose and puffed out her chest like she was big and strong.

_"Look I'm you!" she had said, making as deep of a voice as she could. "Knock knock."_

_Hawke laughed. "Okay, who's there?"_

_"A pile up," she smirked._

_"A pile up who?"_

_"Haha! I just made you say something gross," she grinned, pointing up at him with a shimmer in her eyes. "Fenris better love these or my plan will never work."_

_"What plan?" he'd asked as he cleaned the dough from her face with a napkin._

_"I dunno, you'll see."_

Returning from the memory, Hawke pulled out the sandwich he'd packed for himself and moved the basket to Fenris so he could rummage around. "I know it's probably more than we need but I figured that was better than the reverse, right?"

Fenris nodded, having a look through the basket. He was half-tempted to reach for the cookies first, his sweet-tooth kicking in, but he ultimately decided against it. He could try them later. Instead, he took out one of the sandwiches and began munching on it.

“I…quite enjoy baking,” he said slowly, unsure whether he was humiliating himself by bringing it up. The gardening thing had been a whole risk in itself, but Hawke had only seemed endeared by it. Such a strange man Hawke was. “I usually make Adrian’s cake myself for his birthday.”

"Really?" Hawke's eyes widened a bit, looking at Fenris in a bit of a different light. "That's really sweet actually. I'm not the best at it but... I mean, I enjoy it. It's relaxing even if what you make turns out as hard as a rock," He laughed a bit at himself and took another bite of his sandwich, letting his eyes drift absently up toward the clouds. "What sort of things do you bake?"

“Really,” he replied, taking another bite of his sandwich. Fenris wasn’t sure how one could screw up making sandwiches but they were still pretty good. Perhaps Hawke didn’t give himself enough credit, like usual. “I… use the apples from the tree out back for apple pie fairly often. But when I have the opportunity things like cookies and cupcakes are fun as well."

"That sounds awesome, I'd love to help out sometime even if I'm just handing you things," he chuckled, a fond smile across his face. "My sister was a huge baker. I used to help her until I handed her baking powder instead of baking soda and then she banned me from the kitchen for good."

“It’ll be Adrian’s birthday in a couple weeks,” he mentioned, tutting. “A whole seven, they grow up so fast don’t they? You’re welcome to come over and help me bake the cake if you like. Bring Sam, it’ll help me to keep Adrian out of the kitchen when I’m working. He always tries to spy.”

"A couple of weeks, huh?" Hawke hummed at the thought, as if he even had to think about it. Of course, he would do it, another chance to be with Fenris and Adrian? There's no way he'd say no to that. "I'll definitely be there. Wouldn't miss it for anything."

Fenris nodded again, finishing off his sandwich and reaching back inside the picnic basket to find one of the cookies Hawke had mentioned. He pulled one out and studied it for a moment before taking the first bite. A hum of contentment left his lips.

“Not bad,” he said. He licked the crumbs from his lips with his tongue. “How much sugar did you put in?”

"I dunno... 3 cups maybe? I think that's what the recipe said," he blushed a little at that, clearly flustered. "I just chose the first one at the top of the Google search thing."

He took a bite of a cookie himself rather tentatively but, it wasn't _awful_. Not the best thing in the world but certainly not terrible.

“A bit much I think,” Fenris commented, taking another bite. He glanced over at Hawke. “You’re lucky I like sugar.”

He chuckled a little and finished off the cookie, then reached for another one. He could picture the two of them in the kitchen together. Fenris would be the one giving all the orders, getting Hawke to run around the kitchen for him whilst he did all the whisking and mixing. They could probably decorate the cake together though, that wasn’t so hard and Adrian would probably love it regardless. He had to stop his thoughts in their tracks. This was…awfully _domestic_ , wasn’t it? He fought back the pink rising in his cheeks. It was too early to be thinking like that.

While, in that moment, Hawke was picturing the same exact thing. He thought of helping Fenris cook, sneaking up behind him while he was distracted and pulling him in for a hug while he was trying to whisk something. He'd playfully pretend to drop eggs as he brought them over just to make Fenris startle. These sorts of domestic thoughts brought funny little flutters to his tummy that he couldn't quite explain but it made him want to pull Fenris into his arms. He resisted the urge, they didn't exactly have the excuse of the cold this time.

"Y’know, Fenris, do you ever wonder how like, your younger self would feel if they saw where you were now?" he asked, popping a cookie into his mouth. "I know I definitely couldn't see myself wiping old people's asses for a living when I was in college."

“I can’t say I would have ever pictured myself with children. I was aware that I thought violence the answer to my problems and I thought that because of it I would never make a good father,” he said, feeling the mood dampen slightly at the topic when Hawke had started it on such a comedic note. “But that is not to say I regret anything. I love Adrian and I wouldn’t change anything."

"I always knew I wanted kids at some point," Hawke admitted with a soft sigh, gaze drifting downward. "I didn't know I'd be on my own raising a child, but... I feel the same way. If things had happened differently—”

_We may never have met._ he thought. He bit his tongue, was it too early for that?  Would saying something so sentimental scare Fenris away? _Great, now there's the awkward silence. Good one, Hawke. How are you gonna save yourself this time?_

“I suppose we wouldn’t be here now, would we?” Fenris finished the sentence for him. He finished his cookie and shuffled towards him, he took his cheek in his hand and cupped his face towards him. Green eyes met honey pots of gold. “I would have never pictured this either. I fancied myself undesirable romantically. In the past, I had never been committed long.”

Hawke rest himself against Fenris's hand for a moment, and he felt his heart leap into his throat. He couldn't speak, couldn't swallow, hell, he could barely breathe.

"Merrill was my first serious relationship, and it's hard not to be afraid of something bad happening again," he mumbled once he'd finally found his voice again, cheeks bright red as he met Fenris's eyes. "But, I find you _very_ desirable romantically. If that helps."

_Smooth, Hawke. Good one._

“It is…a good thing we found each other then, I suppose,” Fenris replied, rubbing his thumb against his cheek and along the bristles of his beard. It sounded much more sentimental aloud than it had in his head. Who would have known he’d end up feeling this way? He inched closer, nervousness tickling at his veins. Would this be okay? They had kissed on their last date. Their noses brushed against one another. “Hawke.”

Gently, he closed the gap. Every time he tasted better than the last. He couldn’t care a damn for the people in the park, anyone who might observe them and hold their judgements for their actions. Hawke needed to know that he cared for him.

Hawke met him every step of the way, one hand wrapping around Fenris's waist to pull him closer and the other gently cupping his face, a thumb to his cheek. His skin was so soft, warm, and inviting. His lips tasted a little bit like his slightly-too-sugary cookies but beyond that was the taste of Fenris. He couldn't really describe it because he couldn't compare it to anything or anyone else. It was just him. A knot curled itself in Hawke's stomach and he let his thumb make small soothing circles in Fenris's side as he kissed him. He knew he probably should have pulled away by now, it would have been socially appropriate, but he couldn't. He pulled back for one small second to catch his breath and pulled Fenris's lips against his own once again.

Fenris was happy to let him take as he pleased. The more he took, the more he wanted. He nipped at Hawke’s bottom lip, pulling at it playfully and deepening the kiss. Hawke was a tall glass of ice-cold water and Fenris was thirsty. He didn’t need to breathe, not went Hawke was drawing him in like this. He could stay like this forever until—

“Gross!” Adrian’s voice chipped in, startling Fenris into pulling himself away from Hawke’s lips and his hold. The boy stood beside Sam, sticking his tongue out and making faces.

Fenris cleared his throat and straightened himself out, brushing dust from his lap and face heating into a deep shade of red. There were things much worse than being caught making out by your six-year-old son, but it was fairly high up there.

“Where’s your grandpa?” he asked, seeing no sign of Sebastian with the kids. Adrian pointed over to the car next to the road, not too far from the park.

“We could see you from the car so he just dropped us off,” Adrian said. Sebastian seemed to notice them looking over and waved before he drove off. Fenris took a deep breath and gestured for the two kids to sit down on the blanket.

Hawke was pretty much a tomato at this point. He couldn't believe they'd just seen that. Technically, it was low on the list of adult-oriented things that he and Fenris had done but still. That didn't make it any better. Or less embarrassing.

"How was school, then?" he asked tentatively, trying to divert the topic as quickly and hopefully efficiently as possible.

"Lame," Sam tutted, sitting down on the blanket and sighing. Her eyes lit up though when he saw Burger asleep in the grass, and she crawled over to him to pat him on the head. "Adrian! Look! This is my dog, Burger!"

Burger lifted his big head and his eyes lit up upon seeing Sam. He practically tackled her, dampening her face with sloppy, drooly kisses. Sam shrieked and pushed him off, but she was grinning from ear to ear. "We rescued him from the shelter. He's the best dog in the world."

“Whoa he’s huge!” Adrian gasped, shuffling over on the blanket towards the big dog. Burger was the largest dog he had ever seen, in fact, he didn’t even know dogs could get that big. He was practically a horse! He could probably sit on his back and ride around. Fenris chuckled. Adrian turned to Hawke with wide, puppy-dog eyes. “Can I pet him?”

"Go ahead, champ, he's harmless," Hawke cooed. Thank the Maker for Burger, he was sure the kids forgot every line of probing questions they had prepared after seeing Hawke and Fenris kissing. Had their grandfather seen them? Oh no. He leaned over to Fenris a bit, talking in a hushed tone. "You think your dad saw us?"

“I don’t know,” Fenris replied in an equally hushed tone. He hoped not, that would be embarrassing. Somehow being caught by his child was less embarrassing than being caught by his father. “I’ll know if he says anything to me about it.”

"I guess that's true," Hawke laughed a little at that, pursing his lips a bit as he looked back over at the kids playing with Burger. His hand was still brushing Fenris's, he felt tempted to take it but decided against it. He wanted to leave that level of affection in front of the kids up to him.

Fenris noticed him brushing their hands together and looked down. He could feel his own heartbeat in his throat as he closed the distance and interlocked their fingers. Their kids were fully aware they had been on dates and were having somewhat of a romantic relationship, especially now they’d caught them kissing.

Hawke smiled when Fenris had done that and settled into the touch, shuffling closer so that Fenris could lean on his shoulder if he wanted. He took a moment to watch for the children's backs to turn, and as soon as they did, he pulled their hands up and placed a small kiss on the back of Fenris's. He couldn't believe that just a few weeks ago he was deathly afraid of this man and had assumed this man would be the end of him. He might still be, but in a totally different way.

Sam glared at her dad for a second but turned quickly back to the dog.

"He likes belly rubs," she said, scratching the dog's chin and he happily rolled on his back. She snickered, scratching his tummy and his leg did the bouncing thing that dogs do when you scratch their favourite spot. "See? He's really silly."

Adrian reached over cautiously, watching the dog’s movements before reaching in with Sam to rub his belly. He giggled when Burger’s tail wagged quicker, clearly enjoying the attention. When he got home, he was going to ask Fenris for a dog again in hopes that maybe spending some time with Burger had changed his mind.

"Adrian, we should find a stick, Burger is really good at playing fetch," she said, standing up. "He does lots of other tricks too. And, sometimes, you can sit on his back and ride him around. You're smaller than me so I'm sure he'll let you!"

 “Okay!” Adrian replied, standing up as well and beginning his search for a stick. Near the tree they were sat under, he picked up a thick branch and showed it to her. “What about this one?”

"Yeah! It's perfect," Sam hummed, taking the stick and tossing it. Burger barked happily and chased after it, but he didn't bring it back. She could hear a shout of someone older than her father in the distance, and around the corner she sees a badly aged man getting up from his park bench, swearing as he holds a hand over his head and shoos Burger with a book. Sam's face fell when she saw him, recognizing him perfectly. "Shit, it's Danarius."

Hawke looks up when he hears Sam swear and he frowns. "Samantha Bethany Hawke!"

The older man, Danarius, has his gaze locked on Sam as Burger scampers away and back to Hawke's side, tail between his legs. He approached Sam with the demeanour of a vulture and it's one of the scariest things she'd ever witnessed.

"Samantha Hawke," he held the stick gingerly in front of her, though his expression is anything but. "Do tell me this is just a tragic coincidence so I don't have another excuse to give you an in-school suspension?"

Seeing the scene, Hawke huffed and released Fenris's hand to rise to his feet. He got in between the man and his daughter and took the stick, tossing it back toward Burger.

"Terribly sorry about that sir, Sam here didn't mean anything by it, promise," he cooed, putting on his signature, goofy smile.

Danarius had a glare like daggers, though Hawke was at least 3-4 inches taller than him. "You are Mr. Hawke? The father of this... this—"

"I'm Sam's dad, yeah," he put a hand on his hip, looking down at the other man but still smiling without falter. "And she's really sorry, isn't that right, Sam?"

"I'm sorry Principal Danarius," she mumbled, looking down at the ground; hands in fists at her sides.

_Principal? This was the new principal? Oh Maker..._

"See, everything is fine now," Hawke assured. "Now we can all go on with our days and everything will be fine."

Fenris pressed his lips together, knowing it wasn’t his place to intervene. This was Hawke’s child and he shouldn’t get caught up in the middle of it even if he did think this man was out of line. It was good to finally put a face to the man that was the new principal however. Old and grouchy it seemed. Adrian backed up towards Fenris, not wanting to get caught in any fire that Sam may have started.

Danarius caught Adrian in his gaze as he passed, watching him run up to Fenris. His gaze lingered there for a moment, a long and very uncomfortable moment, before he nodded at Hawke and turned away.

"Good day, Mr. Hawke," and he departed. Sulking just as much in his departure as he did when he arrived. Hawke took his daughter's hand and returned to Fenris, shaking his head.

"That guy is creepy," he said as he sat down. "He makes me think of like... a real-life Dracula or some shit. Or Edward Scissor-hands."

“I was thinking more like a real-life Ebenezer Scrooge,” Fenris commented. He didn’t seem to like children very much, and that was a mystery in itself. Why would anyone who disliked children want to work in a school? It didn’t make any sense. That and the way he looked over and him and Adrian was making his skin bristle. He made a mental note to make sure he didn’t start pushing his luck with his son. That said, the man could have just been having a bad day.

"Hah! Good one, I like that," Hawke laughed. "The big parent teacher thing is several months from now. I'm just hoping that I won't have to see him again until I have to. He looked at me like I was a slug and Sam like she was... well... worse than a slug."

Sam huffed and pat Burger on the head. "I hate him. I miss Orsino. Orsino wasn't _always_ mean. He could be nice sometimes. Danarius doesn't know what nice is."

“I hate those parent-teacher meetings. Even though Adrian does good at school, the teachers always give me the stink eye,” Fenris said. Adrian puffed his cheeks, even if he knew he was a goody-two-shoes, it was embarrassing to hear it. It wasn’t _his_ fault that the teachers liked him because he could do his work good.

"They either hate me or tell me that I'm a shitty parent," Hawke grumbled. "Her Pre-K teacher hit on me the entire time and it was uncomfortable as hell, so I understand the distaste."

Sam remembered one time where a teacher called Sam a "demon child" right in front of her like she wasn't even in the room. It really made her skin crawl.

“If you don’t like him, I don’t like him either,” Adrian said, looking over at Sam and quietly stepping towards her and away from the protective shield of his father.

She looked at Adrian and smiled, looking a little relieved. "Thanks, Adrian. You're the best friend ever."

Adrian grinned at Sam: “I like you too.”

“I’m sorry,” Fenris said, reaching back over to grab Hawke’s hand and squeezing it reassuringly. He rubbed his thumb against his knuckles. It was strange how he felt about Hawke as a parent now compared to every curse word under the sun he had thought when he first walked in the same room as him. From what he had seen, Hawke didn’t seem to be a bad parent. Why Sam was the way she was? A complete mystery. Hawke had suggested it may have been his brother’s influence, which was still a viable option. There was also the possibility that she was just born that way. It was not something he had ever believed in before, but seeing the Hawke family had made him change his mind slightly. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a bad father.”

Hawke smiled, looking down at their hands and then looking fondly at Fenris. _It's your second date and you're already in love, Hawke. Sheesh._ He couldn't help but admire Fenris's eyes again, such a beautiful shade of olive green. He used to hate that colour. It was the colour of his curtains of his college dorm and they never let him change it. For him it had been the colour of imprisonment, the colour of restriction. For Fenris, it was the opposite. Fenris had turned it into a colour of freedom, joy, and complete satisfaction with the company of another person.

"Thank you," he replied finally, holding their hands up against the side of his face and sighing contently. "That means a lot coming from you, Fenris. It does."

Sam rolled her eyes when she saw them, walking back over to Burger and picking up his leash.

"My plan is working," she said as soon as they were out of ear shot of their fathers. "We're gonna be siblings in no time. We just gotta keep doing what we're doing."

“I hope so!” Adrian replied to Sam, watching Burger and the way he seemed to happily trot along beside them. “So long as they don’t do that kissing stuff in front of us. Icky.”

Fenris noticed the two children scampering off, muttering amongst themselves as they dragged Burger along with them. He took the opportunity to plant a quick kiss on Hawke’s lips and shoot him a half-smile when he blushed. Kissing seemed to come a little more natural now. He had been so adamant to avoid physical contact too soon after everything that happened at the barbecue but he realised now that he shouldn’t worry. Hawke wasn’t pushy at all, in fact he seemed to initiate most of the contact. He did nothing without making sure he was okay with it. This was a concept he had never really understood before.

The two stayed at the park a little while longer before Burger was getting worn out, as were the kids, and they finally decided to head home. Hawke was satisfied with the events of the day, more than satisfied actually, especially considering that he and Fen had made plans for the future. A third date, in particular, where the kids would go spend more time with Sebastian.


	7. Third Date: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While their third date doesn't exactly start how they expected, Hawke and Fenris settle into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this part is supeeer long so i decided to split it into two chapters. heres the first part! as always enjoy!
> 
> (theres some more NSFW in this chapter ;) fyi)
> 
> comments make me happy<3

In half an hour Fenris would be here and Hawke had just finished in the shower. He heard someone ringing his door bell obnoxiously and he groaned. He wasn't even _dressed_ yet. He hastily dressed himself and rushed to the door, still fixing his shirt when a familiar girl came through the door way flinging herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Fenris found himself less nervous and more simply excited about the third date. The last two had been successes and the anxious boundaries of kissing and light touching had been eliminated entirely. Sam seemed to enjoy the expanse of his home along with all of Adrian’s toys that they could play with, so her staying at his house with Adrian and Sebastian was beginning to become a regular occurrence for their dates.

They were staying in for this date, something much more intimate than their past two. After stepping out of the shower and freshening up, he threw on a grey graphic tee and a pair of black skinny jeans. There was no need to dress up fancy. Before he left, he picked up a bottle of expensive champagne he had bought from the store to take with him. They had decided against alcohol because of everything that happened at the barbecue but he figured one bottle between the two of them would only get them a little buzzed at best. Besides, if Hawke didn’t want it, that was fine too. He’d always drink it later.

Once he was ready to go, he said goodbye to the kids and Sebastian and left for his place. It was a bit of a walk but he decided he’d like the exercise and told Hawke not to bother picking him up. He’d assured him that he could drive him home if he wanted. Looking down at the champagne bottle, he wondered if it would be too much for him to drive. Perhaps there was an underlying part of him that hoped maybe he’d spend the night.

When he approached the home, he noticed the door was already swung wide open. He assumed that wasn’t like him, but then again, he’d never actually been to Hawke’s home before. He could hear a feminine voice mingling with Hawke’s own. It would be rude to intervene, from what he could hear it sounded serious. Would it be wrong to eavesdrop? Either way, he couldn’t turn back so he leaned against the doorway and listened.

"Hawke! I missed you so much!" Merrill cried, sighing contently as she released him. This was normal for their reunions, Merrill, being a hippie-type in every sense, was a very huggy person. "Oh, where's Sam? I can't wait to see her. I missed her too."

Hawke frowned, stepping away and tucking his shirt into his pants, which he was in the process of doing when she mauled him.

"Not here," he said stiffly. "She's with a friend."

"Oh! Sam made a friend? That's amazing news, why didn't you text me?" she sat down at the kitchen counter and crossed her legs, making a home of the place as she always did.

"Because I can't afford international, Merrill, you know that," he replied, walking the short distance to stand beside her. "Listen, Merrill, I've got—”

"Stop right there, I've got the best news in the world and I'm sure you'll want to hear it!" she interrupted him, holding a finger to his lips. "I was in Haiti, and I met this darling little boy. He reminded me so much of you, Hawke. He even makes silly jokes and smiles with his teeth like you. It was so sweet."

"That's nice," he said with clear disinterest, though his expression was clear that he just wanted to see where this was going, and why exactly Merrill was telling him this.

"Anyways, most of the children there are getting healthy enough that they can be adopted, and it's hard to find good, suitable parents," she continued without missing a beat. "So, I thought you'd adopt him, since you have an extra room in the house. I think Sam would really like a sibling, and you'd be saving a life!"

Hawke stared at her in silence for a long moment, not sure whether or not he could actually _believe_ what he was hearing. "I—… what?”

"Oh, you'll do it, won't you? It's just some paperwork and it doesn't take much money to get him here."

" _Just some paperwork_? Is that what you think raising a child is, Merrill? A bit of money and some paperwork?"

She frowned, looking as confused as him now. "What's your problem? I thought you would be excited."

"Merrill, this isn't how... you can't just—" he puffed air out of his nose and turns away from her, hands forming fists. "You can't just walk into my house and drop something on me like that. I can't-... I can't take care of another child. I'm barely getting by as it is. I work two jobs, Merrill _, two jobs_. You don't even pay child support because I know you can't afford it because you don't work. That's fine. I don't care. But, despite this, you expect me to be able to provide for another child, on my own, while you run off into the wilderness and sing to the birds?"

"Sing to the birds? Is that what you think we do? Hawke, that is the most ignorant, hateful thing I have ever—"

"No, Merrill, you don't _get_ it. Children aren't dogs. You can't just cuddle them while they're cute and shove them in a cage when they shit on the floor and leave someone else to clean it up," he snapped, yelling now. Maker, he'd never been this livid before. What was Merrill thinking? What spring of genius made her think this was a smart decision? "I'm not just your... your... _kid keeper_. Who's to say you won't show up in a couple more months with another child that only I could save? You know who would have been a good person to call? Aveline. She makes twice the money I do and she's married. She wants kids. She could have helped you. But no, because my name is Hawke, I can just collect everything you want to do good with but you won't commit to and be totally fine with it. Well, I'm _not_ fine with it, Merrill."

Merrill was dumbstruck, she looked at Hawke like he'd grown a third eye and it was trying to tell her how to take over the universe. "Hawke, you _know_ I had no choice. You know I'm doing everything that I can for her."

"Are you?" Hawke barked back, his face afire. "I'm pretty sure you chose that lifestyle, Merrill. You chose to leave us behind."

"I did not leave _anyone_ behind! You said that you understood. Why are you taking it back?"

"I'm not taking it back and I did say that. I also said I respected your decision, which I do, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with you walking around my house like you own something, talking about Sam like you worked half as hard as I did for her, like you've had to sit through countless teacher meetings and bite your tongue while some stranger told you that you were an awful parent or that your child was a monster with no sense of discipline. You never had to change Sam's diapers, you never lost sleep because she shit herself in the middle of the night, you didn't potty train her, you didn't do _shit_."

"Hawke," she choked, shaking her head. "Those people need me. They need my _help_. It was hardly a choice at all."

"Oh, they need you? But your own daughter _doesn't_ need you?" Hawke scoffed. "And—and... what about this... this kid you want to dump on my door step, huh? It'll be the same exact goddamn thing, even if I _could_ accept your offer. Even if I _could_ manage it, I would be completely on my own. Isn't that right?"

She fell silent and looked defeated down at the floor, not saying anything.

"I knew it," he concluded, completely unaware of Fenris in the doorway. Unaware of anything outside of his own white-hot rage. "You made your choice, Merrill. Now, I'm making mine. I'm not going to be your dog sitter. Sam? Sam is my daughter. That's my choice. I didn't have to raise her. I could've done what you did. I could have shoved her on someone else. I chose not to. So, if you're looking for someone to adopt the children that you care about more than your own, go call Aveline, or Varric."

He looked toward her and got a glimpse in the doorway, seeing Fenris standing there, and his heart sunk. His anger fell into an expression of horror and Merrill must've seen it too because she stood up and brushed off her shirt, stiffening her shoulders.

"I should go," she muttered, throwing her bag over her shoulder. She pushed past Fenris out the door and jumped into a ragged looking car that was parked around the corner. Hawke stood stiff from the shock, he couldn't even move.

As Merrill stormed past him, Fenris wasn’t sure what he should do. Looking in, he could tell that Hawke was distressed. Who wouldn’t be after a conversation like that? He put two and two together, realising that the woman must’ve been Sam’s biological mother. It made him thankful that his and Isabela’s relationship wasn’t so toxic, at least not on the surface. He felt for Hawke, truly. None of this could be easy for him. And here he was, originally prepared to drink alcohol and have a fun night.

“I’m…sorry. That didn’t sound good. If you need…time, space, tell me to go and I will. We can do this another time,” he said, throat dry. “But I will also stay, if you wish it.”

"No, stay, please," Hawke looked up at him pleadingly, moving past to close the door behind him with a soft click. He cupped Fenris's cheek in one hand, staring at him in silence for a long moment. _Maker_ he was so thankful for Fenris. What had he done to deserve to have such a person in his life? Essentially nothing. He _didn't_ deserve Fenris, but here he was.

"I'm... so sorry you had to see that," he mumbled as he pulled away. "Come on, you can sit. I bought food." He gestured to the couch as he went into the kitchen, pulling some carry out boxes from the fridge.

Fenris walked inside, looking around drinking in the sight of Hawke’s home. He _lived_ here. The place was a little cluttered but he could tell that he had made the effort to tidy things up before he came. Unnecessary but thoughtful. He took a seat on the couch and settled into it, leaving the bottle of champagne on the coffee table.

“I brought a bottle of champagne. We don’t have to have it but I thought maybe a couple glasses each would be nice,” Fenris mentioned as he came in with the boxes of food.

"That sounds amazing right about now," Hawke sighed blissfully, smiling a bit. "You know, thank you for showing up when you did actually. I think that conversation would have gone on longer if not for you. So, you sort of saved me in a way." He shrugged, still too tense to laugh about it as he popped open the boxes and started preparing plates. "I have some glasses in that cabinet there if you want."

He nodded and got up to have a rifle through the cabinet to find the glasses. Finding some appropriate ones, he grabbed two of them and shut the cabinet door. He put them on the coffee table and grabbed the bottle of champagne. Once he popped open the bottle, he poured out two glasses, one for each of them.

“It sounded serious,” he said, taking a seat back down on the couch. “Ah, I don’t mean to pry.”

"No, pry all you like," Hawke hummed as he took a seat beside Fenris, setting their plates next to each of their respective glasses. He took a pretty long sip of the champagne and made a content noise as he set it back down. "It... was pretty serious. But, Merrill doesn't take anything seriously so... I dunno."

Fenris reached over and took one of Hawke’s hands between his.

“I don’t know Merrill or what she is like but I know I do not like to see you unhappy. From what I heard I…I think that you don’t owe her anything. She cannot force responsibility on you that you don’t want. And it is unfair for her to put that on you if she will not take any responsibility herself,” he said, then looked down. “I admit I am not good at dealing with these things, but I hope that helps.”

Hawke nodded, looking down at their hands and squeezing them, letting his eyes shut momentarily.

"You're right," he said finally. "And... it does. It helps a lot. Especially because... well, ever since you and Adrian, Sam hardly even asks about her mom anymore. It's like... I dunno... like an empty space has been filled."

He felt his cheeks turn bright red at that and he couldn't make eye contact. _Damn it, Hawke. That was way too cheesy._

“I am here for you, so long as you will have me,” Fenris replied, bringing Hawke’s hand up his lips and kissing his knuckles softly. As if destined to ruin the moment, Fenris’s stomach rumbled abruptly and his cheeks flushed pink. He had been hungry before he came and apparently his body was catching up with him. “Heart-warming as this is, I believe I would like to eat.”

Hawke laughed at that and smiled, all stress and anger from the moments before seeming to fade away from his mind.

"Right, me too," he'd ordered take out dinners from that Chinese place on the other side of town, it was one of Hawke's favourites. Plus, they delivered, now what in this world could possibly be better than that? He took a bite of his chicken and sat back comfortably on the couch, humming in delight. "Are there any silly kids shows that Adrian makes you watch that you just _cannot_ stand?"

“I try to avoid watching them if I can,” Fenris answered, reaching for his own fork and digging into the food. It was so good to finally eat. It wasn’t until he swallowed down that first bite that he realised how truly hungry he was. “There is some…show with a lion he watches in the morning sometimes that irritates me,” Fenris twirled his fork to gesture. “But on the other hand, he enjoys watching documentaries with me on National Geographic so I’ll put up with it.”

"What kind of documentaries?" Hawke asked with a quirk of a brow. "I used to watch CSI with Sam but then I started worrying that might not be appropriate for a kid her age, so she watched age-appropriate stuff now. But, the thing is, there's this show called Bubble Guppies or something like that and it's her _favourite_. I hate that show and I feel like the creators designed it just to make my skin crawl."

“Nature documentaries mostly. He likes the ones on sea life the most. Fish and sharks and stuff. I’ve promised him a trip to an aquarium soon as we have the time. Perhaps you and Sam would like to come as well?” Fenris offered, taking a few larger bites of the food. “Mm, this is really good.”

"Right? That place is the best," Hawke said as he popped some more chicken into his mouth, leaning against Fenris a little bit. "Y’know, this is our third date. Well... our third _real_ date anyways."

He wanted to ask some key questions, like if Fenris wanted to take this further, or what that meant. Were they boyfriends? Not boyfriends? He didn't know, he couldn't really put this finger on it.

“It is,” Fenris said, putting down his fork and reaching for his glass of champagne to take a swig of the bubbly liquid. He’d bought this brand once before and he remembered it being good. Hopefully Hawke was enjoying it as well. Then he picked up his fork again and dug back into the food. He couldn’t get enough of it. “I hope there will be more of them, if that is what you want as well.”

"Yes, God yes," he laughed a little, trying to play off just how _desperate_ that sounded. _Good one, Garrett._ He took another sip of champagne and finished his glass, making a delighted sound. "This is nice. I'm not much of a champagne guy but, it's good." He commented. "Anyways, if it's not too early to ask, if we're planning on going on lots more dates in the future. What does that make us?"

It had been almost a month and a half since Hawke had first met Fenris in the principal’s office and Fenris was ready to kill him. It seemed like it had been so much longer than that but... he had to know.

Fenris hummed. It was a good point. They hadn’t really come to a solid conclusion of what they were to each other, even though they have been on so many dates. Three dates usually meant things were official. Was Hawke looking for commitment? Fenris wasn’t sure how much he liked the expectations tied to names and words, but with Hawke, he didn’t mind so much. He knew the man didn’t push for more than he would give and right now, he had a lot he wanted to give.

“You’re my boyfriend, I guess,” he said nonchalantly.

Hawke momentarily forgot how to breathe. He choked on the noodles in his mouth and bent forward, hands clasped over himself so that he didn't spit Chow Mein all over the place. Hawke, literally, was the biggest mess on all of the Earth without a single doubt. He snatched a napkin from the table, finally recovering from his near-death coughing fit and sitting up.

"Fuck," he mumbled, clearing his throat. "I mean, I mean— Yes. Thank you," he wasn't sure what to say. How do you speak English again? Words? What? How? "I'm gonna try to be a good one. I... want to be a really good boyfriend."

“You don’t have to try Hawke,” Fenris replied, chuckling a little at the mess he was making. This was not the sort of man he would have pictured himself with. However, he had no regrets, not a single one. He was perfect in every way. Fenris found himself smiling to himself, twirling his fork in the noodles. “I already think you’re a good boyfriend.”

"This... I'm going to die," Hawke shook his head, too shocked to even comprehend what he was hearing. "That's it. You're officially going to kill me," He filled up his glass again and downed it all in one go almost effortlessly, exhaling through his nose as he poured one more. He was officially having an existential crisis. "Well, either that, or I'm dreaming," he continued looking at his glass and swirling the liquid inside. "Maybe both? Yeah. I think it's both."

“Hey,” Fenris said, reluctant to part with the food in front of him but there were more pressing matters. Regardless, he put down his fork and held Hawke’s face with both of his hands, tilting him towards him. Then he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. It was nice that this was so easy now, compared to the anxiousness of their first, not counting all the kisses at the barbecue. “I mean it, okay?”

Hawke stared at Fenris, _his boyfriend_ , in complete awe for a moment, jaw slack.

"O... kay," he responded finally, he dipped forward, his hands on the couch on either side of Fenris's hips, and kissed him; deeply and passionately this time. He had a feeling that this would never fail to make his heart race to the point where he was afraid of it bursting. Fenris just had that effect on him. Even if this relationship lasted until they were old and wrinkly, Hawke would have an almost-heart attack every time their lips met.

Fenris relaxed into the deep kiss, letting Hawke take the lead in this dance. His hands slid down his cheeks and jaw and rested on his broad shoulders. At this rate, he was never going to get sick of this. They remained lip-locked until their bodies demanded breath and they pulled away from each other reluctantly.

“I want to kiss you more,” Fenris breathed, digging his fingers into the material of Hawke’s shirt. “But food first.”

Hawke groaned a bit and sat back, but he nodded.

"Okay, okay," he sighed, picking his plate back up again and reluctantly eating. As he picked at another piece of chicken, he remembered the desert he'd got for them as well and his eyes lit up. "Wait, wait, that reminds me," he jumped up and rummaged around the fridge, pulling out this big box of ingredients and flour. "You said you liked baking so for 'dessert' I figured we could... I dunno, bake."

Hawke shrugged his shoulders, but he was grinning with pride. Fenris looked over, somewhat impressed at the amount of supplies he’d put together just for him. He kept taking bites of his food and drank the rest of his glass of champagne.

“What did you want to make?” he asked. The prospect of it was quite exciting, although he had never baked in anyone else’s kitchen before. He was going to have to find his way around and that meant relying on Hawke to direct him _. A mistake_ he had heard, but he was willing to give it a shot.

"I dunno, got stuff for cookies, cake, oh and pie fillings too, so anything you wanted," he said, fishing around the box to pull things out and set them across the counter. "You're the expert baker in this residence."

“I could go for cookies,” Fenris commented, finishing off the rest of his food and setting down his fork. He stood up, brushing off his lap and walking over to the counter to look at all the supplies. Carefully, he picked out what he needed to make cookies. “That sound good to you?”

"Amazing," Hawke hummed delightedly as he watched Fenris start getting things out. "Tell me what to do and I'll be right on it. As best as I can, anyways." He really had no clue what to do when he was baking unless he had a tutorial with step-by-step pictures pulled up on his phone. Fenris seemed to have this down to a science, having a recipe of his own memorized. To Hawke, it was incredible.

Humming, Fenris started opening packaging. Sugar, butter, vanilla extract, baking soda, flour, salt, it was all here. Even some chocolate chips he noted, opening the packet and eating one whilst he directed Hawke to get him a bowl and wooden spoon. He would ask Hawke to pass him ingredients and supplies until everything was mixed into a thick dough.

“Adrian always wants to eat the cookie dough,” he mentioned. He looked down into the mixture. “Can’t say I blame him,” He lifted some of the cookie dough with the spoon. “Get me a tray and sheet on top.”

He waited for Hawke to do so and then started spooning out the mixture into 12 cookies a couple inches apart. Now it was just time to put it in the oven. So, he put them in and set the timer.

“Now we wait,” Fenris said, looking down at his handiwork and then up at Hawke.

"Did I do good?" Hawke asked as he watched Fenris slide them into the oven. He leaned up against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. This wasn't too much different from when Hawke and Sam made cookies but this time it was Fenris. Which somehow made the entire experience unique and ethereal. He paused when he noticed he had a bit of dough on his fingers and he smiled, taking a moment to lick it off without shame.

“You did just fine,” Fenris replied. Not that he exactly did a whole lot but he would make him feel good about it anyway. He moved to stand with him and looked up. The man was too damn tall, while they were both stood up there was no way he could steal a quick kiss without forcibly dragging the man down to his height. Not even on the tip of his toes could he reach him. So instead of startling the poor guy, Fenris hooked his fingers gently in the collar of his shirt and leaned up towards him in hopes he would understand what he was aiming for.

Hawke looked back down at him slowly, a little shocked by the fingers in his collar. Not in a bad way, but in more of a holy shit, I'm being touched by an angel way. He smiled a little awkwardly and turned to Fenris, resting his hands on his waist. He dipped down to kiss him but at first avoided his lips (maybe as a tease, maybe not). He kissed Fenris on the nose, then on the forehead, his thumb hooking into Fenris's belt loop and just using it as a rest. Then, deciding when he'd teased enough, he dipped down again to kiss Fenris on the lips and pull him easily against him. How he adored that man's subtle yet intoxicating scent, the way his lips felt like velvet against his own. Now, these lips were his _boyfriend's_ lips. That just made it all the better.

He could taste the dough on his lips, the flour on his hands leaving finger-shaped messes on his shirt. Fenris slid his hands up from his collar and along his neck, brushing over his jaw as he drank him in. Unlike their previous date, there was no kids here to catch them in the act. He could take from his lips as he pleased and there would be no consequence. Pulled flush against him, Fenris squirmed a little and found himself gasping quietly into Hawke’s lips at the unexpected friction.

That gasp was like music to Hawke's waiting ears, it sparked something in him that he couldn't quite contain. He flipped them around so that Fenris was backed up against the counter as they kissed and Hawke let his hands wander to Fenris's ass. He wanted to keep going, he wanted to deepen the kiss, but there wasn't enough alcohol in his system to wipe reason from his mind. He pulled back a bit, enough to part their lips and give Fenris room to escape should he choose.

"Is this... okay?" he asked, searching the other man's expression for an answer.

“Yeah. This is…This is more than fine,” Fenris replied breathlessly, still catching his breath from the kiss. His hands slid down along Hawke’s chest, never getting sick of the way it felt under his fingertips. He met Hawke’s gaze with a mischievous glint in his eye and shifted his leg to press between Hawke’s.

Hawke stifled a groan at the unexpected contact, biting his lip and gripping the other man's ass a little tighter, palming it between his hands. He ducked down to press kisses along Fenris's jawline and travel up to his ears, feeling bold, he nipped at Fenris's ear lobe before moving to start kissing his neck. The feel of Fenris's ass in his hands and the thigh between his legs, fuck, he swore he must have already been half-way hard. He wanted to question where Fenris wanted to go with this. _Not yet,_ he decided, _if Fenris wants this to stop, he'll stop it._

Fenris did not want this to stop. Definitely sober, he told himself, he’d only had one glass of champagne and Hawke had two. There was nothing stopping them, they were alone in Hawke’s home. He groaned low in his throat as Hawke’s lips made their way down his neck, rocking back into the hands that grasped his ass and his thigh rubbed harder on every forward cant. It was pleasant to be more aware of the friction, not shielded by the numbness of a drunken haze. Everything felt raw and real, and he wanted more.

Hawke replied to the groans with his own low, carnal growl. This was almost nothing like when they had been drunk. He didn't worry about getting caught, he wasn't worried about what Fenris would do afterwards, he wasn't worried about this becoming something he would regret. Fenris was his _boyfriend_ , not some man he'd just met. This was right in every single way Hawke could have imagined it. He let one hand linger on Fenris's ass as the other snaked around to the front, slowly pressing down on his stomach and gliding down to his—

The shrill beeping of the oven stopped him in his tracks, and he groaned. _Cockblock_ he thought as he gave the oven a pointed glare. He bet it was really proud of itself right about now.

“Fuck,” Fenris breathed, glancing over at the oven as well. Reluctantly, he wiggled out from Hawke’s grasp and grabbed the oven mitts to take the cookies out of the oven. He left them on the countertop, they seemed done enough to eat but they would still need time to cool down. The pleasant smell was a good indicator as any that they were good to go. He shoved the oven mitts back on the counter and looked up at Hawke. “They need…time to cool. I think, while we wait, you should show me your bedroom.”

Well, you didn’t get much more forward than that, right?

"Yeah, sure, right," Hawke nodded, grabbing Fenris's hand to pull him out of the kitchen and down the hallway. He easily opened the door to his room and closed it behind them, though closing it wasn't entirely necessary. His room was the biggest in the house but only by a fraction. It wasn't massive and the bed took up most of it, but at least it was clean. He... might have had some hope that this date would turn out like this. He was glad that he was at least prepared.

He pressed Fenris up against the nearest wall and assumed their previous positions from the kitchen, capturing Fen's lips in his own and letting one hand hold his ass while the other roamed to his crotch, gently groping him through his jeans. Fuck, he felt so good. And now he would actually be able to feel it. And remember every precious second.

Fenris barely got time to drink in the sight of Hawke’s bedroom, his personal space, before he was lip-locked with the man again. That was hardly a complaint however, he could look around Hawke’s room later, when he wasn’t being coaxed into an erection by Hawke’s wandering hands. He moaned against his lips, grinding into the pressure. His own fingers moved down Hawke’s chest to fumble with his belt.

Hawke hummed delightfully at the sound of the moans that he drew out of the other man. He pulled away for a moment to tug off his shirt and toss it carelessly onto the ground. He helped Fenris with the belt and easily unlooped it, tossing that onto the ground as well. He felt so free, like a bird released from his cage. There was no way he could stop now, not a chance. He also took this moment to help Fenris with his own shirt so that they both were in nothing but their jeans. He groped Fen a little more roughly outside his pants before tentatively slipping a few fingers below his belt, watching his boyfriend's expression for approval.

It was strange to take in the sight of Hawke’s naked chest in an entirely different context, when his mind was clouded with simple lust and nothing else. It was wildly different to both the barbecue and when he had taken his shirt off at the waterpark. The intimacy brought a new appreciation for everything that was going on. He noticed his hesitance as he dipped beneath his jeans, so he gave him a quick nod and reached to grope at his crotch as well, feeling out the length of his concealed cock with his thumb.

Hawke looked appreciatively over Fenris's taut, powerful chest, like a bow string pulled tight; ready to be fired. He let his hand fall into Fen's boxers, finding his semi-hard cock with ease and wrapping his hand around its length. Inspired, he crouched to his knees which pulled Fen's hand away from his own pants. The absence was disappointing but he had other things in mind. He unbuttoned the front of Fen's pants and tugged it down just below the waist. Leaving his boxers on for a good tease, he mouthed the outline of Fenris's growing erection in his underwear and ran his tongue along the clothed length, not a single care in the world.

He gasped, lacing his fingers through Hawke's hair and tugging on it to encourage him to continue doing what he was doing. Admittedly, he had thought before what it would be like to have Hawke's mouth on his cock, dragging his talented tongue along the length of his shaft. The thought of it alone was making his cock twitch and the blood run south. He wanted to buck forwards and press the bulge in his boxers into his mouth but he held himself back.

"Hawke," he rasped, looking down at him with lidded green eyes.

Hawke grinned, enjoying every second of this, and that alone was clear in the growing bulge in his pants. He looped his fingers into Fen's boxers and yanked them down, not waiting another second to take him into his mouth. He ran his tongue eagerly over the tip, already slightly leaking, and he held fast onto his hips with sure hands, thumbs pressing into the sockets of his pelvis. It had been so long since he'd done anything like this but the sounds Fenris made gave him a confidence like he was a pro.

Fenris's legs shook and knees buckled, a raspy moan escaped his lips as Hawke's tongue ran over his tip, it had been such a long time since anyone had done this for him. It felt better than he remembered, Hawke's hot breath ghosting over his shaft. He gave him another encouraging tug in his hair, but was unsure whether Hawke minded it. If he wasn't complaining, then he'd continue.

Hawke groaned at the fingers knotted in his hair and used it as an encouragement to keep going. He took more of Fenris into his mouth, perfectly fitting all of him with a firm grasp on his hip, pulling his mouth off only to consume him once again, tongue making a trail from balls, shaft, to tip and back. One of the hands that wasn't holding Fen's hips snaked down to his own crotch, fondling himself as he fucked Fenris with his mouth.

"F-Fuck Hawke," he gasped, unable to buck his hips into Hawke's mouth with the hand on his hip no matter how much he might have wanted to. He couldn't help but moan as he took him in, the wet heat of Hawke's mouth overwhelming his senses. He didn't know how long he would last like this, not when Hawke was taking him in until his whole cock was immersed in the hot cavern of his mouth.

Hawke pulled off of him for a moment, licking his lips and looking up at him with a quirk of his brow.

"Want me to stop?" he asked. He wasn't sure if this was how Fenris wanted to go, but if it was, he was very happy to oblige.

"Tease," he hissed through his teeth, taking a deep breath. "As much I'd love that, I'd rather you fuck me."

Was that too much? He was going to kill the poor man at this rate, but through his lust and desire he couldn't find it in him to care. He watched Hawke's expression after he spoke for his reaction.

Hawke gaped at him, and he felt like his eyes might nearly roll out of his skull. "Oh, yeah, fuck. Okay. I can do that."

He didn't hesitate to shuck Fenris's pants and boxers off the rest of the way, kicking them to the side. He pressed him up against the wall, lifting up his legs to wrap them around his waist.

"The bed, or against this wall?" he asked, leaning in so that his breathe reverberated off of his sensitive ears.

He shuddered at the feel of his breath against his ear; "You want to fuck me against the wall Hawke?"

Just saying it was turning him on. The idea of Hawke's thick cock holding him up against the wall, opening up a space inside him and splitting him in two. He could recall how it felt at the barbecue and had thought about it plenty since, especially at night in his bed.

"Fuck yes," he huffed, rolling his hips a bit to grind his clothed erection against Fen's ass, groaning at the sensation of it. He'd been longing to feel this again since that night in the car, at the barbecue, but he'd promised Fenris he'd take it slow. Now, they'd taken it about as slow as their bodies would allow them to take it. Hawke had gone as slow as his body could allow him to take and if Fenris was here, begging for Hawke to have his way with him, there was no way he could possibly deny that.

Fenris wiggled his ass against the erection. He wanted it, to feel him pushing inside him. He had been patient, wanting to take it easy and not rush into things for fear of messing things up again and being overwhelmed with everything, all the emotions and sensations. But he was ready now, he was sure he wanted it.

Hawke groaned again, taking the reaction as a signal to keep going. He pulls away for a moment, taking Fenris with him and managing to carry him in one arm while the other reached to the nearby nightstand, shuffling through the top drawer for condoms and lube.

" _Fuck_ ," he swore in frustration, gripping Fenris more tightly as not to drop him. Then, finding his prize, he huffed and pushed the smaller man harshly back up against the wall, unzipping his pants and pulling his boxers down enough just to free himself. It was unbelievably hot, the idea that he was still partially clothed and yet Fenris was completely naked, on full display for him.

He ran a hand up his thigh, appreciating the smooth skin and how warm it felt beneath his touch. He put some of the lubricant on a few of his fingers and began prepping his entrance. His pace was slow and patient, but that was the opposite of how Hawke felt. If he could have just taken Fenris right there without hurting him at all, he definitely would have.

The fact that he could carry him, hold his weight while he got the lube from the nightstand, was a turn on in itself. Fenris wasn’t a particularly heavy man, his muscle mass made up for most of his weight but he was still rather slight in stature and short in height. But that strong arm wrapped around him was enough to make him even harder, if it were possible. He helped of course, by holding on tight to him as he moved around.

Then those glorious, thick fingers pressed inside of him. He leaned his head back against the wall, a breathy moan escaping his lips as he squirmed against the invasion. His legs tightened around Hawke’s waist, begging him for more with his body.

Once Hawke had gotten him moaning and writhing on three of his fingers, he figured it was good enough. His hands rest on Fenris's thighs, just below his ass, holding him still as he lined himself up at the entrance. He pressed small, gentle kisses at Fenris's neck, teasing as much as possible.

"Ready?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

Fenris nodded, pupils blown wide as he anticipated the feel of Hawke’s cock spreading him open. He could already feel the wide head teasing at his entrance. Excitement bubbled in his chest at the idea that he was going to fuck him raw, he would be able to feel every hot inch of him inside him. He bit on his bottom lip, glancing down at where Hawke was positioned before him, ready to enter him.

Hawke gave a delighted hum and gripped Fenris's legs, pushing into him quickly and roughly, all the way up to the hilt. _Fuck_ , this was even better than the memories from the barbecue. Ten million times better, he could feel every little thing. Fenris tensing, muscles contracting to adjust to him, cock twitching. It was heavenly. He waited a moment for Fenris to settle on his length, before he pulled out again and slammed back, Fenris's shoulders bouncing against the wall. Hawke didn't hesitate to find a steady, rough pace, biting down on Fenris's neck to stifle his moans, making sure to leave as many marks there as he could.

Fenris gasped as he slid inside, the stretch and burn of penetration quickly fading away with familiarity and quickly turning into pleasure as he began to move inside him. He delighted in the sound of Hawke’s muffled moans against his neck, toes curling behind his back. Fenris clawed at his back, making sure to leave his own marks behind. This was inhumanly good, only heightened by the position against the wall. His weight as gravity dragged him down only made him sink further onto Hawke’s cock, reaching deeper and deeper inside with every thrust.

Hawke let his hands grab Fenris's ass and he thrust into him deeper, making sure to use all of his strength and power in every thrust that he drove into him. This was the most amazing thing he'd ever felt in his entire life. Fenris was so inviting, it made Hawke want to fuck him on every surface that he could find any chance he got from now on. He kept his hands far from Fenris's cock, only holding his ass in place, determined to get him off with his cock and nothing else.

It only took one tilt of Hawke’s hips to have him crying out, thrusting hard into his prostate. Fenris leaned his head forward, burying it deep into the crook of Hawke’s neck and inhaling the smell of sex and sweat from his skin. Hawke hadn’t even touched his cock and he was so close, precum bubbling at the tip and beginning to smear against his stomach. A part of him wished that Hawke could stay inside him like this forever, but he knew that he would soon reach his peak.

Hawke definitely felt the same. He could stay here doing this forever as long as his muscles kept allowing him to do so. He thrust as deeply into Fenris as he could, nearly spent, it wouldn't take much to finish off but he needed Fenris to finish first. He groaned at the feel of Fenris's nails against his back, toes curling into his hips. He bet that if someone made a painting of this moment right here, it would be absolutely beautiful. If it weren't for the kids, Hawke would probably hang it up somewhere proudly. Would every time they fucked be better than the last? He had a feeling. This was mind bogglingly better than their last escapade, no doubt.

Luckily, Fenris was truly at his limit. Tears began to gather in his eyes as he tightened his legs even more around Hawke’s waist, reaching orgasm with a cry of Hawke’s name and not a single hand on his cock. His eyes widened in surprise, he couldn’t recall ever being able to finish without being touched in the front and the aftershocks of the orgasm left him shaking and leaning most of his weight on Hawke as he fell limp. He had never experienced _anything_ like it. Good, better than good, completely overwhelming.

Hawke held Fenris up with ease, supporting him as his muscles laxed and he too came to his climax, emptying himself inside of Fenris- realizing now that he'd completely forgotten to put on a condom. He groaned and pulled out, gently setting Fenris down but still supporting his weight in his arms.

"Shit, I uh, I never," he looked over at the condom package sitting on the floor with the lube and he blushed. "I am so sorry."

His muscles ached, and though he felt bad, that was easily the hottest sex he'd ever had.

“It’s fine,” Fenris said, finally managing to catch his breath. As soon as he was set down on his feet, his legs turned to jelly and he almost collapsed, luckily Hawke was still supporting him. He took one last deep breath to try and regain himself and pull himself back into reality. Hot ejaculate ran down the back of his thigh from where Hawke had finished inside him. A strange feeling, but not a bad one. His eyes moved to look at Hawke. “You are…clean, aren’t you?”

Hawke laughed.

"You're the first person I've had sex with in six years so... yeah, I'm good," he hummed, looking down at his boyfriend with hooded eyes and running a hand along his cheek. He was just as exhausted, and though the sun wasn't down yet, he could definitely go for a nap. He definitely wasn't in his twenties anymore, that's for sure. "That was... damn. That was awesome."

Fenris hummed in contentment, pulling Hawke down for a quick kiss. He hadn’t felt this content and satisfied in a long time. It was nice to be sober for the experience, definitely made things better. He felt sticky and sweaty all over, he noticed as he calmed down from his high after his orgasm.

“Can I…use your shower?” he asked. It was always a task working out how to use someone else’s shower but if he was going to be staying at Hawke’s regularly, he might as well get to grips with it.

"Yeah sure, go ahead," he buttoned his jeans back up and gestured to the door off to the side of the room, leading him over. "This is a bit weird but it's a broken shower. It's... always been broken. Never cared to fix it. The things are just backwards, is all. The knob with the 'C' is hot water and the knob with the 'H' is cold."

This felt... oddly domestic. In a way. Not that he was complaining, Fenris could use his shower all he wanted. It was just different. He hadn't had this feeling in a long time.

"The cookies will be cool enough to eat now, I'll come in after," Fenris replied, pulling him down for a quick peck on the lips and figuring out how to run Hawke's shower. Once he got it running, he stepped in and let the hot water rush over him. He picked up the soap and shampoo, taking a quick whiff of them. It smelt just like Hawke. Now he was going to smell like Hawke. A blush flushed in his cheeks at the thought.

He scrubbed himself clean, wiping away all of the seed on his stomach and from between his thighs. Once he was clean, he stepped out and dried off. Hawke wasn't in the bedroom when he walked in and Fenris looked down at his own abandoned clothes on the floor. They'd be mussed from their intimate activities, so he reached for one of Hawke's clean shirts and a pair of boxers. He wouldn't mind, he was sure. Once dressed, he wandered into the kitchen to find Hawke and the cookies they had made.

Hawke had already popped one into his mouth, still not wearing a shirt, and it was the most amazing thing he'd ever tasted in his life. When Fenris walked in wearing one of his t-shirts, he choked. Literally. He choked on the cookie in his mouth and had to bend over the sink as he profusely gagged; suffocating to death. Yep. He knew Fenris would be the end of him. What would they write on his tombstone? _He walked out of the bathroom in my t-shirt post-fuck and I choked to death on a cookie._

"Are they that bad?" Fenris asked, noting the way that Hawke was gagging over the sink. He had done everything right, he couldn't understand why they'd taste bad. Only way was to test for himself. He walked over, rubbing Hawke lightly on the back as he went and picked up one of the cookies to take a bite.

Hawke covered his hand with his mouth, clearing his throat and slowly recovering as he swallowed the bit he couldn't seem to before. He tried not to look at Fenris for fear he would start choking again. _Fuck_ if that wasn't the hottest thing he'd ever seen in his life. Was it too early to propose marriage? _Yes, Garrett Hawke. Yes, it is._

"No, no they're amazing," he stammered, clearing his throat again and slowly standing up. "I just uh- you just—" Fuck, now he's looking at Fenris. _Those legs._ God damn it. "You're.... wearing my shirt."

"Oh. Yes," Fenris said, blinking wildly and looking down at himself. The baggy t-shirt was very comfy and it smelled just like Hawke. In fact, he quite fancied taking the shirt home with him to sleep in.

He took a bite of the cookie in his hand and hummed. Hawke was right, they had come out pretty good. Just the right amount of everything. He could eat a whole bunch of them. He made a mental note to take the time to make some at home for him and Adrian.

"That's... adorable," Hawke managed, still gawking at the other man as he ate. "Do you want to chill out and watch a movie? I have plenty.”

He slowly grabbed another one, taking a moment to appreciate Fenris's legs again. _They're so taut and smooth. Why is it so hot that he shaves?_

"Hmm sure," Fenris replied. A movie sounded like a good way to end the night. He grabbed the tray of cookies and took them over to the couch, he sat down on it and looked towards Hawke. They still had some champagne left and a movie would be a good opportunity for them to relax and cuddle. He didn't think too much about the domesticity of it. He put the tray down on the coffee table and took another cookie while he waited for Hawke to choose a movie. "Anything is fine."

"Don't tell me that, because then we'll watch James Bond," Hawke chuckled. He leaned down in front of the TV and shuffles through a collection of movies. He paused at one of the covers and frowns, tossing it harshly onto the floor behind him. "Merrill's dumb Twilight movies. I need to throw those out," he mumbled, more to himself than Fenris. "How about this? It's called 'Ruby Sparks'. Dunno if you've seen it but it's great. It's about this writer who brings a girl to life and basically gets to play God. Like he controls everything about her. Sounds odd, but it's good."

“Sure, sounds good,” Fenris said with a hum. He watched Hawke as he put the movie in and set everything up whilst he continued to munch on a cookie. One more glass of champagne couldn’t hurt, he thought as he poured out a glass that was still there from the Chinese food they had eaten earlier. He waited for Hawke to come sit beside him on the couch and after a moment, he shuffled up closer to him and leaned some of his weight on him.

Hawke wrapped an arm around Fenris's waist and let the movie begin to play, pressing a kiss on the top of his head and his thumb making soothing circles on his side. He chewed on another cookie, humming delightfully. This was... fantastic. He could sit here like this forever, Fenris in his arms. If only the kids were here too. He was surprised that he thought that, but if they were in this cuddle pile with them right now... well, that would be heaven.

"You wanna stay the night?" he asked suddenly, not long after the movie started.

“Is Sam alright to stay over at my place? I’m sure Adrian would love to have a sleepover with her,” Fenris replied. He was more concerned about what the kids could handle, rather than whether or not he wanted to stay, which he did if Hawke would have him. The two got on so well, he couldn’t see there being any issues but he didn’t know what Sam was like when it came to night time. Then there was the fact he was going to need to speak to his dad and ask him to watch the kids overnight. He was sure he wouldn’t mind. “I’ll have to call my dad and let him know.”

"As long as your dad is fine with it," Hawke smiled. This would be _amazing_ for Sam. The other girls her age had sleep overs all the time, and Sam was only invited to birthday parties as a joke. So, this new level in her and Adrian's friendship would do a lot of good for her self-esteem. Though, she'd never admit that she had low self-esteem. Of course. "I do have a small errand to run before we settle in for the night though, if you're down for the adventure."

“Of course,” Fenris said nodding. He reached instinctively for his thigh, where the pocket of his jeans would be and his phone tucked deep in them. However, of course, he wasn’t wearing them. His phone would be somewhere in the pile of abandoned clothes in Hawke’s room. “I’m going to call my dad, it should be fine.”

He wiggled out from Hawke’s hold reluctantly, he had been enjoying the attention, then sauntered back into the bedroom to retrieve his phone and dial his dad.

Hawke nodded, shifting to let Fenris go free. He settled into watching the movie as he waited, his chin propped against his fist. He heard a bark and a scratching at the patio door and he looked up. _Right! Burger. You have a dog._ Hawke shook his head and stood up, letting the massive beast inside. He barked happily and hopped onto the couch when he saw the TV running. Burger loved the TV. He preferred action movies with lots of CGI and explosions like Hawke does, but Fenris doesn't seem like the type for that. Drama would suit him better, he thought. He sat down beside Burger and pats him on the head.

"We have some company tonight, so be good, okay?"

Burger barked in response.

“Hi dad, are you alright to look after the kids through the night? I’m going to stay over at Hawke’s,” Fenris said once Sebastian picked up the phone. He couldn’t see any reason why there would be a problem. It made him feel like a teenager again, asking his dad to stay at his friend’s house. Except this was a little different, not just children being involved, but also the particular kind of friend Hawke was. They had the whole night to themselves and he fully intended to take his fill, so long as Hawke was okay with that.

“Sure,” Sebastian replied. “Just make sure you text me when you want me to pick you up.”

“I will,” Fenris said. The two of them said their goodbyes, slipping in a quick ‘love you’ as they put down the phone. Everything was all ready for tonight. He walked back to Hawke, phone in hand, and sat down on the couch again. He left his phone on the coffee table. “Dad said it’s fine.”

"Oh! Awesome," Hawke grinned. "Burger is joining us, I hope that's alright."

He gestured to the dog on his other side who wags his tail happily at Fenris and barks in greeting. He was pretty smart, it was almost like he understood what he was saying. Creepy, but also really cool. Hawke wouldn't trade this messy dog for the world.

"You still have your spot though," he held out his arm, gesturing for Fenris to come over and sit beside him.

Fenris nodded, shooting Burger a half-smile as he shuffled up next to Hawke again on the couch. He got back into his previous, comfy position leaning against Hawke and waited for the man to wrap his arm around him. He could settle for this. Adrian seemed to like both Sam and Hawke, even Burger too. As far as he was concerned, anyone who got the okay from Adrian, was alright. Fenris turned his attention back to the television screen as he tried to pick up what was going on in the movie.

Hawke wrapped an arm tightly around Fenris, hand coming to rest on his tummy as he laid his head on top of the other's snowy white one. _Damn it_ , he even smelled like Hawke's shampoo. It so amazing it was almost criminal.

"That errand I have to run," he said softly, letting his fingers trail the wrinkles in Fen's (Well, Hawke's, really) shirt, "I dunno how thrilled you'll be but, I promised Anders I'd run by work really quick and put his residents into bed so that he could clock out early and take his cat to the vet. It shouldn't take too long," _Hopefully,_ putting the residents to bed could go from easy, no effort required at all, to absolute hell in less than a heartbeat. He loved his job, but hated it at the same time. "It's not really romantic in any way at all."

“You’re going to make me put on pants,” Fenris replied with a chuckle. He was quite enjoying his newfound leg-freedom. He was curious what it was like at Hawke’s workplace. People didn’t tend to stop by those sorts of places unless they had someone to visit. He supposed this was his opportunity to find out. It’d be good to know, chances were that he’d end up in one someday. That was, if he Adrian didn’t sacrifice his life to look after him through his old age. “But okay.”

"I'm sorry, I can make it up to you, I promise," Hawke holds him a little more tightly and kisses his cheek, relishing in the scent of him appreciatively for the moment. He wasn't even paying attention to the movie and, honestly, he could care less. "We have another hour or so before I have to leave but I wanted to warn you. Once this movie is over, we'll head out."

"It's okay, I don't mind," Fenris said, nuzzling against his side and enjoying the attention. Once they got it over with they'd have the whole night to themselves. No pressures and nothing to worry about. He turned his attention back to the television screen. "I hope you weren't too attached to this shirt because I intend on keeping it."

Hawke laughed a little at that and his smile brightened. He held the other man's chin between his fingers, and allowed his gaze to linger for several long moments.

"Good," he hummed, pulling Fenris in for a kiss. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Fenris smiled back as he drew him in, happily finding himself lost in the kiss. He knew he couldn't last too long for fear of wanting more again, he'd just showered. Perhaps later though, once they got back from Hawke's errand. Hmm yes, he couldn't wait. Carefully he pulled away, leaving only a quick peck on his lips and watching the rest of the movie with Hawke.


	8. Third Date: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the second part of their date, things go a little bit awry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres the second part of the date! this chapter is the longest one so far, i did warn you this scene was long haha
> 
> warning for some discussion of/attempted non-con and a slur (f*ggot). its just talk and nothing actually happens but here's your warning!
> 
> also some more consensual nsfw ;)
> 
> enjoy!

The ending of the movie and the passing of the next hour came and went without too much thought. Hawke was at peace with Fenris's presence, but he felt _pretty_ nervous about bringing him to Shady Oaks. Old people weren't really everyone's cup of tea, and they weren't always a pretty sight. Especially if someone didn't put them to bed properly and you had to clean up their sores afterwards. He slowly stretched and rose to his feet.

"I need to get changed, give me one minute," he walked briskly down the hall into his room, quickly but haphazardly finding his scrubs and throwing them on. They weren't matching, he had the top for his dog paw print scrubs and the bottoms for his Pac-Man scrubs, but he didn't care. He probably looked atrocious, but he'd only have it on for an hour tops.

He returned to the living room, letting Burger outside and locking the patio door as he grabbed the keys for his truck. "Alright, I'm ready when you are."

"I'll put my other clothes back on since we're going out. Keeping the boxers," Fenris said with a hum, strutting past Hawke to change. Once he was dressed properly, he put his shoes on and met up with Hawke at the front door. "Let's go then."

Hawke nodded and lead Fenris out to the car. This was his _job_. If Fenris saw it in person, it put up a potential for him to be scared away by it. Knowing that this sort of thing is what Hawke deals with (and enjoys dealing with) on an every day basis. He _loved_ this job. He was practically putting his heart out for Fenris here, and it was a little unnerving.

The nursing home wasn't too far away, just a little ways into town, and they arrived in no time. Anders was already waiting by the door as soon as he walked in, getting his things together and grumbling to himself. The strawberry blond looked up as Hawke walked in, but his gaze lingered on Fenris for a moment too long; almost glaring at him.

"Good, you're here. Thank you for this, Hawke. You have no idea how much it means to me," he finally spoke, looking back at the taller man. "I already knew you were great, of course, but this really tops it off."

He smirked, offering a bit of a bold wink and giving Hawke a squeeze on the arm.

"It's not a big deal, really. Life happens," Hawke replied, avoiding the subtle flirtatiousness that was laced into his statement and forcing a smile. "Who's left?"

"Just Beatrice and Emile," he hummed, throwing his bag over his shoulder. "Beatrice is... not in her best sorts today. So, be prepared for that, I guess. I'm heading out." He made towards the door, casting one final glare at Fenris before propping it open with an elbow. "See you tomorrow, _Garrett._ "

Hawke's name rolled off of his tongue in a manner that was a bit too sultry for his liking, and then he was off. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and shaking his head.

"Sorry about... well, that. Well, sorry about all of this, really. It's... gonna be an adventure. I just hope you don't get scared off by it,” he said.

Fenris found himself glaring at Anders as he walked past him, something about the man rubbing him the wrong way and something about his face distinctly familiar. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. However, he did know that he felt oddly protective of Hawke now. He was _his_ boyfriend and no one was going to flirt with him so openly while he was here. Not unless they wanted a punch to the face.

"Bold man," he said with a sneer. He shuffled close to Hawke, clinging to his arm and making sure to establish his dominance. "Does he know you're taken?"

"I've told him about you, yeah," Hawke said with a shrug. "He got pissed at me every time I brought it up. I'm... pretty sure he has a thing for me, and that he's jealous. He can be cool sometimes though, now is just... not one of those times." He put a hand over Fenris's and looked out over the lobby, puffing his cheeks. "Come on, our journey begins."

He led Fenris down the hall way to a room at the far-left end. Inside was a tall, skinny old man with wisps of hair forming a strange halo around his head with a bald island in the middle of it. Hawke smiled warmly at him, moving up beside him from where he sat in a chair, scribbling on a word jumble. He put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey there, Emile, how's it going there, bud?"

Emile looked up at Hawke, and his face softened upon seeing him.

"Oh, hey there," he reached up and pat the burly man on the cheek. "I talked to Ethel again. She keeps rejecting me, Hawke. I don't know what to do."

Hawke chuckled a bit and pulled the man's chair out, helping him stand up. The man wasn't nearly as tall as Hawke, but easily taller than Fenris even as he slouched. "You can't just walk up to people and ask them to marry you and expect them to say yes, Emile. You have to do these things one step at a time, big guy."

"That's easy for you to say. You're young, robust, Ethel would probably marry you if you asked her," he grumbled, though his gaze stopped on Fenris who stood in the doorway. "Who's that? I can't see all that well. Is that your girlfriend?"

"Boyfriend, actually," Hawke said without missing a beat. "Let's get you in bed, old man. Big day tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah."

The old man nodded as he sat on the edge of the bed. Hawke had to shuffle through some drawers, grabbing a small bottle of alcohol and some needles. He puts several pillows out, one for the head, one between the legs, on several places under his back and under his feet. "Tell Anders that he needs to get his game up. He hasn't had a boyfriend or a girlfriend since I've got here. He's gonna end up like me if he doesn't, y’know."

"I'll be sure to let him know that you're concerned for his wellbeing," Hawke laughed.

Emile was probably one of the most mentally stable residents here. A good start, for the first one that Fenris would meet.

"Hold still, bud," he hummed, gently taking his hand in his own and injecting the fluid into the pit of his elbow. "There you go. All done."

"Are you going on a date tonight?" Emile asked as the IV was attached to his vein, and he was gingerly tucked in, almost like a young kid. "I used to take all the girls down to the docks, by the light house. You should do that. It'll get you laid for sure."

Hawke laughed again, shaking his head.

"Go to sleep, you pervert," he teased, standing up and giving Emile's hand a squeeze. "We all know you had all the ladies back in the good old days." He paused then, leaning in to whisper to the old man. "I'll be back in the morning and tell you how it goes."

When Hawke winked, Emile chuckled; "Good night, Hawke."

Hawke pulled his gloves off and tossed them in the bin, turning the light off as he led Fenris back into the hall, eyes sparkling with delight.

Fenris had followed Hawke around, watching him chat and joke with the elderly man. It was a side of Hawke he hadn’t seen before and that piqued his interest. He was so caring and sweet, clearly very suited to his job. Fenris found himself smiling a little as he worked, wondering if he knew what a kindness he was doing for people like Emile. He certainly couldn’t do a job like this, he wasn’t much for small talk and his patience wasn’t to be toyed with. Hawke came across as friendly and approachable, he had always seemed that way, and those were words Fenris would never use for himself.

For fear of ruining anything for him, Fenris stayed quiet and followed Hawke around as he worked with his hands dug deep in his pockets. He felt a little out of place here, but was happy to accompany Hawke in his endeavours. In a way, it was nice that he cared so much these elderly people that he took time out of his personal life to help them and make sure they were looked after. Not too much though, he hoped, as he still intended to drink up his time when they got back to his place.

"I love Emile," Hawke said as the door closed behind them. "He's one of the strongest ones here, and he's got no symptoms of Alzheimer's and no family history of it what so ever. His kids just dumped him here because he had problems with his liver and they couldn't afford the treatment that he needed. They don't even come to visit him anymore. It's... sad. He's a good guy," He shook his head and huffed, looking back at Fenris. "Sorry, I know this probably doesn't interest you at all."

“Anything that interests you, interests me,” Fenris replied, noting the way Hawke’s eyes sparkled when he spoke about those he looked after. He clearly enjoyed his job and that was something that couldn’t be said for a lot of people. “I rather enjoy watching you work.”

"You... do?" Hawke looked at him with a bit of surprise then. "Well, I—…suppose you haven't really seen the worst of it yet."

He headed down another hall way and stopping at a door just around the corner, on the right side. This was Beatrice's room, of course, in the more intensive wing. He came in slowly, being as quiet as he could upon entering. Another CA was already there, trying to give Beatrice her shot. The woman was resisting rather vehemently, cussing off her head and swinging with feeble fists.

"Hawke! Thank the Maker you're here, take over," she thrust the medicine and syringe in his hands. "I can't deal with this anymore. I need to smoke a cigarette."

The woman on the edge of the bed glared up at Hawke, wearing her paper gown. The gown was rolled up her leg and there was a terrible bed sore on the inside of her thigh, a hole in her flesh bigger than his fist. Most people couldn't handle this, but Hawke had seen it many times before.

"Oh, Betty," he shook his head, moving to the table beside the bed and rummaging around. He pulled out some rubbing alcohol and bandages, gently cupping her knee in a hand and dabbing at the wound. "Shh, shhh. Betty, it's me. It's alright."

The woman softened when she heard Hawke's voice, staring past him but not at him, her gaze softening. "Richard, those damn kids stole the newspaper again. I tried to tell them I was gonna call the sheriff on 'em, I tried—"

"It's okay, you're safe now," Hawke murmured, not correcting her on the name she called him as he settled into the routine of wrapping the bandage around her leg, stuffing cotton into the wound to absorb the blood. "Nobody's gonna hurt you. Not while I'm here."

She flinched then, pulling away from his touch and slamming her hands into his shoulders and whacking him upside the head. "Stop touching me, fucker! That hurts, can't you see that it hurts? God damn it. Cock sucking son of a bitch—"

"Betty, it's me, it's Hawke, you know me," he urged, though he was clearly reeling a bit from the blow. She was surprisingly strong for how frail she was. She was quite a woman once, he was sure. Someone worthy of respect, someone who probably made a hell of a mother. Now, she was a mess of Alzheimer's and a terminal brain tumour that made a mess of her personality and her mind. Even worse, she was completely blind. He looked over at Fenris for a moment apologetically before turning back to Beatrice. "Hey, Beatrice, where does a dog go when it loses its tail?"

Beatrice blinked, her muscles relaxing visibly. She was trying to think of an answer to the question, and she'd completely forgotten what she was rambling about before. "What?”

As this happened, Hawke took the opportunity to grab the syringe again and press it into the space inside of her elbow.

"The re-tail store," Hawke said proudly as he prepared the IV with practiced hands. Beatrice smiled, actually smiled, and laughed. It was like music to his ears as he prepared the pillows and gently began to lay her back. "See, there you go. Nice and easy. Guess what, Beatrice? I've got news."

She looked in his direction with blank eyes, though she begins settling into the pillows and doesn't fight it. "What, Richard?"

"I've got a boyfriend now, he's right over there. He's really handsome too," Hawke cooed, grabbing the syringe and pulling it apart to clean it. "You should meet him."

"Well, I'm... I'm tired right now, Richard. Let your mother rest," she slowly cups Hawke's cheek. "Tell him that he'd better take good care of my son or else I'm gonna have some choice words for 'im. Understand? And shave that beard. You look like a bear."

"Sure," Hawke said with a content sigh, stepping back as he tucks her and shuts off the lights to the room. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Hm...." was her only response, as Hawke departed and closed the door behind him. He looked back towards Fenris and laced his fingers through his. "Well, I'm... sorry you had to see that. I didn't realize it would be that bad. She's... a bit of a mess. Alzheimer’s, brain tumour, completely blind. Her son Richard died in a car accident like... five or six years ago, I think? Obviously, she thinks I'm him. It makes her happy to think that, and calms her down, so I don't burst her bubble."

Fenris nodded, listening to what Hawke had to say. It had been difficult to watch, although sort of amazing that someone with so many difficulties pitted against them was strong enough to keep on kicking through life. Of course, some of that had to be because of Hawke’s help. It wasn’t a job nearly as flashy as a doctor, but whether he realised it or not Hawke was saving lives doing what he did. That was something Fenris could respect whole-heartedly. He could see the melancholy in Hawke’s eyes as he spoke of the elderly woman’s troubles so he reached over and gently rubbed his arm.

“It is…a wonderful thing you do Hawke,” he said slowly, unsure of his own words. He had never been close enough to someone to want to pay them regular compliments, not like this. His words were a bit awkward and jagged, unfamiliar on his tongue, but he hoped the sentiment got across. Hawke looked up at him and his gaze softened, and he couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you, Fenris, for coming here with me. For you to see this part of my life and still want me, it... means a lot to me," he dipped in for a quick kiss, keeping it short so that none of the other staff members saw him. "Come on, let's get home and find a less depressing way to spend our night, yeah?"

“I assure you, I am not done with you tonight Hawke,” Fenris replied, coyly smirking at him and sauntering back out to his truck. He was going to have his fill and leave the man eager for more. Judging by the look on Hawke’s face as he walked away, he could tell that he was more than eager to please.

Hawke was definitely glad to be back in the truck again and on his way back with Fenris. They'd made a lot of really big steps today, though they were probably sooner than he expected them to be, he was really pleased by it. He'd held Fenris's hand as he drove, occasionally peppering little kisses on his knuckles and humming with delight.

They had just reached the edge of town when the truck began to make loud, obnoxious grinding sounds and the smell of smoke began swirling into the air around him. Hawke's face became absent of colour and he pulled over immediately, releasing his seat belt.

"Fuck," he jumped out of the driver's seat and yanked open the hood, immediately overwhelmed with smoke that came swirling out as though from the mouth of a dragon. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" He coughed into the pit of his arm and waved the smoke away with a free hand, trying to see what was wrong but he was clueless. He didn't know as much about cars as he probably should. Fuck, please don't let it be on fire. "God damn it!"

Fenris frowned. Those noises definitely didn’t come from a working vehicle. He unbuckled his seatbelt and followed Hawke out to the front of the truck. He hoped Hawke didn’t expect him to have some kind of insight about cars because that was an area of expertise he was not educated in. However, he would agree that the truck looked…not good.

“Do you…have insurance? Cover?” he asked. It was getting a bit late and dark outside, but that shouldn’t matter too much if he had some way of getting recovery. They had doubts that this could all be fixed right here and now. They’d need a miracle for something like that.

"Yeah, but that won't help us now," Hawke huffed as he slammed the hood back shut and ran his fingers through his hair. "We'll just have to walk home... I guess, so I can call the insurance company."

Fuck, he didn't want to walk home, but what else could they do? It was pretty late at night, Hawke didn't have his phone with him, and obviously he had no clue how he was supposed to fix his truck. They were pretty royally fucked at the moment.

"I'm so sorry," he huffed, shaking his head as his rage slowly diffused. "You got me pretty excited about that whole 'not being done with me' thing. Why does my truck have to be a cockblock _now_?"

He bit his cheek and pinched the bridge of his nose, doing his best to not completely explode.

“Well shit,” Fenris mumbled. He had abandoned his phone at Hawke’s place as well, not expecting anything to go haywire on their journey. It just meant a fair bit of walking, that was no big deal. He was sure this was much more stressful for Hawke than it was him, it was _his_ truck after all. It just meant it would be a lot longer before they could enjoy their night, they’d have to walk all the way back and then call the insurance company, and it’d be a whole mess. Once it was sorted, Fenris had booked up a few ways that would help him relax. Namely, ways he’d already promised. “The sooner we get going, the sooner we fix everything. Let’s go.”

"Okay, okay," he sighed, letting Fenris take his hand and lead his way down the side walk as they began walking toward the edge of town. At least this couldn't get any worse, right? I mean, figuratively, at least. At least Fenris was here, this would have been even shittier if he was alone. Without a doubt.

"Here, let's take this way, it should be a short cut," Hawke gestured to one of the alleys. "There’s a road through here that leads straight to my block."

Fenris nodded, following him as they made a diversion into the alley. It was almost pitch-black with the night sky and lack of streetlights down this particular alley. He couldn’t help but be reminded of how he used to be afraid of the dark as a child, his dad having to help him conquer his fear when he got too old to use a nightlight. Of course, such things were a distant memory now and he had long since gotten over it. However, there was still that lingering feeling that someone was watching him as the two of them padded through the alley. It was so quiet this time of night, the sound of their footsteps echoing against the walls, and not a single other sound to be heard.

Hawke sensed it too, it was quiet. Almost too quiet, and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He tried his best to keep his gaze forward and just keep walking. _Nope. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is okay. This is perfectly normal alley way in the middle of the night behaviour. Nothing to see here._

Then, he felt an arm snake around his neck and yank him back. Before he could even register what was happening, his legs were knocked out from under him and he was pinned to the ground with an _oof_! Another figure came out to snatch Fenris in a similar manner, slamming him up against the nearest building and holding a hand on his throat.

"Not one move, or else," the anonymous man said. There were others around him, but there was no way to tell how many. Hawke's heart was pounding in his chest. _Holy fuck is this real? Oh my God—_

Fenris _knew_ something was off, he should’ve listened to his gut, he should’ve said something. He hissed as he was pinned against the wall, fingers reaching to claw at the hand holding him. _Or else_ the man had said, what was he a cliché supervillain? He couldn’t make out through the darkness how many of the men there were, it was a dangerous situation. What did they want? They weren’t going to have much luck if they tried to rob them, they had hardly anything on them. No phones or wallets.

Against his better judgement, Fenris let his fight or flight instincts kick in. Namely, the _fight_ ones. He wouldn’t stay limp and wait for an assault. If he had known what would come of his rebellion, he would have never done it. Regardless, he distracted the man with his nails digging into the hand on his throat, his breath getting short, whilst he took out his legs and stumbled away from his hold. He barely had time to catch his breath before he was being shoved around again, pressed face-first against the wall this time and his arm twisted painfully around his back. More than one of them then, he noted, a lot more than he could see. At the prod of a knife against the bottom of his chin, he went rigid. Weapons too. This wasn’t good.

“What do you want?” he hissed.

The man holding his arm chuckled darkly, and it made Hawke's stomach turn. He could see the glint in their eyes from where he was, the way they looked at Fenris. It stirred this territorial, animal instinct in him that made him want to protect Fenris and break the arms of anybody who looked at him the wrong way.

"Depends on what you have to give, pretty boy," he said slowly, signalling to the other men who searched the pockets of both of them. One man's hand lingered too long on Fenris's ass during the process, and Hawke definitely saw it. He growled and shifted in an attempt to pull free but it was no use.

"Anything?" the man asked, looking to the others.

"Got a wallet. No card, no cash. Just identifications, some pictures," another answered, holding Hawke's wallet out. "Cute little girl. Also got a pair of car keys."

The man frowned down at the wallet and chucked it heartily on the ground. Out of his pocket came a match, lit with a strike against his belt and a small fire formed in the concrete. Hawke could see the picture of Sam curling, blackening as it became ash. "No good. You saw the truck break down, damn thing isn't even worth parts. Toss 'em."

The other tossed the keys onto the ground somewhere. Hawke heard them land, but couldn’t see them. The one who set the fire, supposedly the leader, tutted and pursed his lips, twisting Fenris's arm harder and earning a pained sound from him.

"No phones, no money," he observed. "Ain't about to let you be a waste of my time though, not with a face like that." The man leaned in to smell Fenris's hair and hummed with delight. "Look at him, boys. He looks like a zebra. Way to pick 'em."

"Get. Your. Hands. Off. Him." Hawke managed, gritting his teeth. He tried to pull free from his holder but a steel-toed boot connected with his jaw. He groaned in pain, blood leaking from his nose to the asphalt.

The leader continued amusing himself, tugging at Fenris's collar to get a better peak at the patterns across his skin.

"Well, would you look at those hickeys. We've got ourselves a whore, boys!" He slapped Fenris's ass and the man with the knife presses it closer to his throat, blade just brushing against skin. "What do you say we take him, boys? Make the faggot in the scrubs over there watch us do it."

Hawke panicked, he knew he had to think quickly and do something or things were going to go south and he wouldn't be able to do shit to save Fenris. Now was his only chance. As soon as the last words left their leaders mouth, Hawke shifted his weight into his hips, yanking his legs up underneath him and pushing himself upward in one quick fluid motion. His captor was taken by surprise, and as soon as his arms were freed, he drove a knee right into his crotch. Fuck, if he didn't cherish every second of that.

The leader looked up in surprise and the man with the knife moved away, heading toward Hawke now with his hand raised. The rage that had been spurred inside of him by all of this seemed to turn him into some kind of machine, because he just barrelled into the knife-man's chest and drove him into the ground, snatching the knife from him.

However, despite his new-found weapon, he was out numbered. Severely out numbered. On his feet, he could see six or seven more starting to run towards him from their positions around the alley. Thinking fast, he snatched the leader by the collar and bashed his head against the wall, bloodying his own knuckles pretty badly, but the crack of his skull against brick made it very worth it. He grabbed Fenris by the arm, spotting the twinkle of his keys on the asphalt. One chance. Their only chance.

He dropped the knife and ducked down to grab the keys. One safely in his hand, he dragged Fenris after him as he ran back down the alley toward the way they'd came-back to the truck. She still had a little gas, and with luck, they could get home— or at least away from here— before the engine kicked it for good. Normally he wouldn't want to expend his truck out like this, it would be like running a horse to death, but in situations like these he just had no choice. The truck would have to be sacrificed.

"We're going back to the truck," Hawke explained in a ragged hush as he ran, gripping Fenris like his life depended on it. "It's the only way we might be able to lose them."

Fenris didn’t reply, only ran alongside him. His legs felt numb, tingling, but they kept on going and going. He wasn’t able to quite comprehend what had happened just yet, the adrenaline still pumping at the speed of his quickened heartbeat. His skin felt… _dirty_ , like he wanted to scratch it off. But he could ignore that in favour of the pain.

The two of them sat down in the truck as quickly as possible. Fenris wiped the blood from his nose with the back of one of his hands, smearing it across his face and over his fingers. He couldn’t move the other arm without intense, shooting pain and he was thankful that Hawke hadn’t grabbed that one. His shoulder throbbed with agony and he wondered if the man in the alley had dislocated it. He wouldn’t be shocked, it certainly felt like it and _something_ had popped when he twisted his arm back harder.

He leaned back against the car seat, tilting his damaged shoulder slightly away from it and waited for Hawke to finally succeed in starting up the truck. If he told him about his shoulder, Hawke would surely worry and he didn’t want that. Instead, he kept his lips pressed tight and waited.

The truck finally, Maker be praised, did putter to life. Hawke made a little prayer of thanks below his breath. He could see the figures running after him in the corner of his eye and he slammed on the gas. He was silent, tense and focused only on driving the whole way home, even as the figures faded away in the distance. Once they were in the driveway, as soon as the truck was in park and the engine gave its last spark of life, Hawke reached over to pull Fenris into his arms. He didn't know what miracle had gotten his truck all the way home, but at the moment he didn't care. They were alive, they were safe now.

"Oh _Fenris_..." he sighed, relishing in his boyfriend's scent once again. He was never going to let anyone lay another hand on Fenris while his heart was still beating. He would make sure of that. He couldn't even find words, he was too thankful to be alive.

He went around to the other side of the car and helped Fenris out carefully. He had given him another hug then, doing everything he could not to burst into tears. Once they were inside, Hawke had settled them into the bathroom where he was trying to clean Fenris up, ignoring the blood all over his own self completely. He'd wrapped a fuzzy towel around his boyfriend's shoulders, and knelt back a bit to look him in the eyes. Fuck, how could he let this happen? How could he have been so careless, stupid, and irresponsible? This was all his fault. 

"Did he hurt you?" he swallowed, tongue going totally dry. "I mean did he like... pull anything? Break anything?"

Fenris took a deep breath, letting Hawke drag him around and do what he pleased. Everything around him was happening so fast, he couldn't get a grip on reality. Instead of answering straight away, he tugged his arm out of one t-shirt sleeve and then tugged it over his head. Carefully, he slid the rest of the shirt down his injured side.

"I think...my shoulder is dislocated," Fenris said, looking over and noting that his shoulder looked red and bruised, square-ish in shape and showing clear signs of dislocation. All he knew was it hurt like a _bitch_. He looked up at Hawke, he was still covered in blood so he handed him the towel with his healthy arm. "I'm sorry about that picture of Sam. You... should clean up as well. I just need to pop my arm back in."

"It's just a picture, I have lots of others," he huffed, though it obviously affected him more than he let on. "Fenris, are you sure we don't need to go to the hospital? That..." _Damn it, that looked bad._ It only spurred the fury in his chest even more, what kind of sick, twisted kind of bastard— "I'm never letting anyone near you again with a ten-foot pole," he grumbled below his breath, taking the towel and looking at his knuckles. They were busted pretty badly; his hands were covered in blood. He knew that they should he hurting, but he paid no mind to it. He wiped the blood from his hands and face, pulling off the top of his scrubs.

"And how do you propose we get there?" he asked. Hawke's truck was completely out of order right now. He watched Hawke clean himself up, thankful that he was okay. "It's not enough to call an ambulance. Unless you want to walk back to my place and get my car. I'll have to tell my dad and Adrian will be there, it'll be a whole thing."

"I can call Aveline," he offered, meeting Fenris's eyes. "You're hurt, you need to see a doctor. She's basically my mother at this point, whoever is important to me is important to her. I..." he paused for a moment, his gaze softening. Shit. This was all his fault. This was all his fault. Tears began beading at the corners of his eyes, he could feel them, and his cheeks began to tingle. "Fuck, I'm so sorry," he mumbled, looking away. He couldn't look at that arm anymore, the bruise forming along his cheekbone. "This—fuck, this is my fault. This is completely _my fault_."

"It's not your fault Hawke, you couldn't have known this would happen," he said. Fenris supposed that he could deal with that. He knew that his dad would freak out once he found out and he knew would find a way to find out what had happened. He didn't want to see that even if he knew it was inevitable. He wondered if this Aveline person was the one he'd seen at the barbecue who drove him home, the woman with the red hair. "Call this friend of yours. I...do you have a jacket or something I could slip on? I don't think I'm getting back in this shirt."

"Yeah, yeah, I do, hold on," he slowly and begrudgingly stood up, going into the other room to get one of his lighter coats. He returned with his phone pressed to his ear. He sat on the bathroom floor at Fenris's feet, resting his forehead on his thighs, clearly still fighting tears. This obviously hit Hawke pretty close to home. I mean, why wouldn't it? After what happened to his father, to Bethany, to his mom- "H-Hey, Aveline, it's- yeah. It's an emergency," he got out. "Can you give us a ride to the hospital? It's a long story, let me explain on the way. Okay... thank you. Thank you, you're a hero." After he'd hung up, he pulled away from Fenris and sat back, wiping his eyes clean with the back of his hand. "Fuck," he huffed weakly. "She's on her way, everything should be okay now but just... _Fuck._ "

"Hawke," Fenris said firmly. He could see the man getting upset and he didn't want to cause him distress on his behalf. Everything that had happened still felt surreal, like it hadn't really happened. If Hawke hadn't stepped in, if he didn't pull that guy off him he would have— No, he didn't want to think about it, that kind of violation. It didn't happen, and he should focus on that rather than what could've happened. Soon enough, they would be at the hospital, they'd pop his shoulder back and everything would be fine. They'd get over it. Fenris reached out with his healthy arm and pulled him for a half-hearted hug. He leaned his head on Hawke's side and rubbed his back. "It'll be alright."

Hawke leaned into the touch and let his phone clatter to the floor, nuzzling Fenris and letting him envelope his senses in the other man's scent. It settled his nerves, putting out his fire with hardly any effort at all.

"Okay," he replied finally, placing a small kiss on his bad shoulder, very gently, and helping him up. "Aveline's here, I can hear the car."

He led Fenris outside, pulling his shirt back on and meeting his friend at the door. She was in her police uniform, but thankfully hadn't driven here in her squad car. Hawke hated that thing.

" _Maker_ , Hawke, what happened to you?" she gaped looking between the two of them, jaw slack.

"I can explain on the way, it's... crazy," he shook his head. "Fenris, this is my very good friend and basically my mother at this point, Aveline. Aveline, this is my boyfriend, Fenris."

Aveline's brow quirked at 'boyfriend', but not in a bad way. More of an approving, 'impressive' way. "It's good to meet you, Fenris. Hawke has said a lot of good things about you. But let's not waste too much time on pleasantries, it looks like you hurt that shoulder pretty good. Come on, I cleared out the back seat for you two. Make yourselves at home."

"It is good to meet you as well," Fenris replied. _Although it would have been nice to meet under better circumstances, particularly ones where his shoulder wasn't severely dislocated_ he thought as he followed her outside and into the car. It was a relief to sit back down, but he was careful not to put too much weight on his damaged shoulder. He took a deep breath, he couldn't wait to get everything fixed. Now he just waited for Hawke explain the situation and Aveline to drive them to the hospital.

Hawke took Fenris's hand as he settled into the car, rubbing his thumb gently over his knuckles.  Aveline took her seat as well, starting the engine. Hawke told her the whole story, leaving out the more gruesome bits about what their attackers had threatened to do to Fenris, but enough to get the point across. She frowned and gripped the steering wheel, jaw clenched tight.

"That's not a good side of town to be on in the first place, Hawke," she scolded. "You didn't have to drive that way to get home."

"Yeah, well, it's faster," he defended weakly. "But... okay. Yeah. It was definitely a poor choice."

"Good, I'm glad that you recognize that," she said. "Borrow my car, I can drive the squad car wherever I need to go until you get that truck fixed or replaced. Preferably replaced. I'll also put a report into the station about this mess, have those thugs thrown behind bars where they belong."

Hawke sighed with relief, shoulders relaxing. "Thank you, Aveline."

The hospital wasn't too far away thankfully, and a doctor got with them quickly enough. One of the nurses was fussing over Hawke, trying to convince him to let her patch up his knuckles. He pulled away, insisting that he was fine, and she eventually gave up. Aveline handled talking to the doctor and choosing what details to tell him or keep to herself. He nodded, patiently listening to her speak before approaching Fenris and forcing a smile.

"Sheesh, this looks bad," she said, smile falling. "Mind taking off that coat for me so I can get a look?"

Fenris nodded, shucking off the jacket so the nurse could look at his shoulder. He felt a little odd being shirtless in the hospital, the air was cold on his body and he held one of his arms over his chest whilst the nurse inspected his shoulder. He let her rush him off in the other direction, sparing a glance at Hawke and Aveline as he walked. Hopefully, Aveline would take good care of Hawke whilst he was still somewhat shaken.

The nurse had ushered Fenris away to get some x-rays, and Hawke sat stiff in his chair. He watched his boyfriend go with a clear pain in his eyes and he shook his head. Aveline noticed it. She'd been standing in the door way as this all happened, but came to sit in the chair next to Hawke's once Fenris had gone down the hall.

"So, you're boyfriends now, huh?" she nudged him with her elbow, wearing a small smile. "That's a big step from drunkenly declaring your love for him while we tried to take care of the horses."

Hawke couldn't fight it, he chuckled a little.

"He's... great, Aveline. _So_ great. You have no idea. I don't deserve him," his face fell again at that, bottom lip poking out. "Especially after this."

"Hawke, this wasn't your fault. Bad things happen all the time, to everyone," she insisted. "You deserve to be happy. You've worked your ass off for six years to raise Sam after Merrill left you. To meet someone else who knows what that feels like, that's perfect for you. I couldn't think of a thing more perfect."

"What if I screw it up? Like, I just got this. I don't want to lose it," he confessed, looking at his battered hands. "It's only been like three months or so but I don't know if I could handle it."

"That, is love, Hawke," Aveline hummed, putting a hand on her friend's back and rubbing soothingly. "Take it one step at a time. You're doing much better than I did with Donnic, by a long shot."

After getting the x-rays, they thankfully realized Fenris's shoulder was just pulled out of place. No chips, tears, or breaks. They brought him back into the examination room where Hawke and Aveline had been talking. As Fenris sat on the bed, he explained the x-rays and put a gloved hand on his bad shoulder. "We just gotta pop this back here. Hold still, or it'll hurt a lot worse, okay?" Then, in one quick motion— before even receiving a response— the doctor twisted Fenris and pressed into his side expertly. The shoulder was back at its normal angle and there was an audible Pop! "There, all set. I'll get you papers for some pain medication, but other than that, you folks are good to head back home."

As the doctor left to get the papers, Hawke slowly stood and approached Fenris, shyly reaching for his cheek; like he expected Fenris to slap him away. "How... do you feel?"

“Better,” Fenris replied gruffly. Now his shoulder was back in place, most of the pain had ebbed away and he could move his arm around more freely. Rehabilitation would still take some work however. There would be exercises he’d need to do and it would be beneficial for him to ice his shoulder a couple times a day. The doctor had suggested a sling, a precaution but not entirely necessary, but he’d rejected it. He didn’t need any more attention drawn to his injury, knowing that he was already going to get questions from Adrian and his dad. There was no way they wouldn’t find out eventually.

Fenris had flinched a little at first when Hawke reached towards him, a quick flash of images of how their attacker had grabbed him. But eyes settling on Hawke, he took a deep breath and leaned into his hand. It wasn’t his fault. He could not hold the man accountable for anything that had transpired tonight.

"Do you... still want to sleep at my place?" he asked as a lump hardened in his throat and his tongue went dry. He didn't want to ask the question because he didn't want to know if the answer was going to be "no." He didn't think he was prepared for it yet. His heart was already pounding so hard. After everything that had happened, Hawke just wanted to hold his boyfriend in his arms and never, ever let him go. Never again. But, he understood if Fenris wanted his space. Albeit temporarily, or... permanently. "You... don't have to. Aveline can drop you off at her place, and—..."

“Hawke,” Fenris stopped him in his tracks, reaching up and gliding his hand over Hawke’s on his cheek. He interlocked their fingers and met his gaze. Hawke always worried so much. However, he was thankful that he was so considerate of his needs. The idea of snuggling up in the peace and quiet in Hawke’s home, wrapped up in a baggy shirt that smelled of him, was more than appealing. There was also the fact that Hawke, who wouldn’t admit it, needed someone to be with him right now. A lot had happened tonight with Merrill, the truck, the attack. Their attackers had left Fenris with a bad taste on his tongue, a feeling of disgust he had never felt before, but he could grin and bear it. Besides, maybe he would feel safer with Hawke. “I’d like to stay with you, have a quiet rest of the night. I really don’t want to deal with questioning or my dad right now.”

Hawke's eyes softened, and if he hadn't stopped himself right then, he probably could have cried.

"Alright, I... I'd like that," he helped Fenris up, though the other man probably didn't need it. It was an instinct that he couldn't really fight at this point. Aveline walked out with them, silent and clearly just as exhausted by the events of the night as the both of them. Hawke told her to just drop them off at his house.

After about half an hour or more when they finally made the stop, Hawke said something about getting her money for the gas and she shushed him. "Forget about it, Hawke, really. It was an emergency, I'm happy to help. Just promise me one thing, that you'll throw out that awful truck."

Hawke let out a long sigh, but eventually nodded. He had so much work put into that old truck, so many good memories with Burger and with Sam. No truck would ever have that same sentimental value. Sam was almost born in the back seat for crying out loud. This.... wouldn't be easy for him. "Okay... I-... we'll see."

He waved to her as her car pulled away down the road, back the way they'd came. Hawke suddenly began to realize how tired he was as he opened the front door.

"Today has... been a day," he mumbled as he kicked off his shoes. "That's for sure."

Fenris hummed in agreement. Today had been a long day indeed and it was becoming more and more evident by the increasing weight on his eyes. He couldn’t stop a yawn as he too removed his shoes, then took Hawke’s jacket off and handed it back to him.

“I could do with some rest,” Fenris mentioned. He didn’t hesitate before walking towards the bedroom, unbuckling his belt until the pulled his jeans from his legs and went inside in just Hawke’s boxers. He managed to find the t-shirt he had been wearing earlier and he picked it up so he could put it back on. Before he did, he couldn’t help giving it a quick sniff even though Hawke wasn’t far away. Once it was on, he peered out of the bedroom doorway. “Coming?”

Hawke's heart forgot how to beat in a rhythm for a second as Fen's head popped out of the doorway. He could see the collar of his own shirt hanging loosely from the other man's frame and a goofy smile formed on his features before he could even think to stop it. "...Yeah."

He stumbled a bit as he made it to the bedroom, heart still hammering, and he quickly tugged off his scrubs. Usually he just slept in his boxers, but since it was their first time having a night in together, he put on a pair of his comfy pyjama pants. That way he wasn't as naked. He sat on the edge of the bed and stretched, his back audibly popping as he did so. He looked up at Fenris and came to a brief realization, not sure what to make of it.

"Wait, you wanted to sleep with me, right?" he asked, gaping dumbly.  "Because if not you can totally have the bed and I'll take the couch."

“Yes, I wanted to sleep with you,” Fenris answered, a bemused smile playing on his lips. He sat down on the bed and found himself navigating to one side of it. If he ever spent the night here again, which he intended to, he would sleep on this side again. Dare he say it was going to be…his side of the bed? How…domestic. Fenris laid down and took a deep breath. Not as comfy as his bed at home, but it never is.

Hawke grinned like a child on Christmas and settled in to the other side of the bed, cosying right up to Fenris and lacing his arms around him from behind, hands resting on his tummy. He could hear the other man's heartbeat from here, smell his hair. It was completely intoxicating. He couldn't stop thinking about how he wanted Fenris to sleep in his bed every single night forever as he placed a kiss on the back of his head.

"Good night, Fenris," he murmured. However, as soon as the words left his lips, there was a heaving of a new weight thrusting itself at the end of the bed. Burger's spot, of course. He chuckled under his breathe and raised his head to look over at the dog who seemed rather happy about the new person sharing their bed. "Good night to you too, boy."

Burger barked in response, laying his head down and huffing contentedly.

"Good night Hawke," Fenris replied, staying on his healthy shoulder and leaning back into the embrace. The heavy weight behind him was pleasant, his heartbeat against his back. He felt safe in his arms. However, despite how tired he was he was finding it hard to actually fall asleep. The events of the day were playing over and over in his mind. That man's breath on the back of his neck, the pain in shoulder and a clammy hand on his ass. He couldn't recall ever thanking Hawke for saving him. "Hawke...I... Thank you."

Hawke paused at hearing him say that, frowning a little.

"You don't need to thank me," he said softly, his fingers soothingly tracing the lines of the muscles on Fenris's stomach. "That asshole is lucky I didn't kill him."

It sounded dark, and he hated the way it sounded on his tongue, but it was true. He'd seen the look in his eyes, the things he wanted to do to Fenris, to allow all of the other man to do to Fenris as well. It was sickening, completely revolting.

"As long as you're with me, I'm not letting anything like that happen ever again," he promised, more to himself than to Fenris as he pressed a small kiss to his neck. Despite their relatively short time together, Hawke knew he'd do that for Fenris, and even Adrian as well. He felt a sense of duty towards them in the pit of his gut, a duty he betrayed when he led Fenris into danger in that alley. He still couldn't forgive himself.

The feel of Hawke's fingers on his stomach was strangely relaxing and seemed to calm his nerves. If he could stay like this, maybe he could fall asleep after all.  He hoped this relationship would last, for both his sake and Adrian's.

"I am grateful anyway," he mumbled, turning his head to press a kiss on Hawke's cheek. He calmed down, closing his eyes. He muttered another quiet goodnight before falling asleep.

It took a little longer for Hawke, he didn't want to pass out before Fenris did— for the same protective instinct he still had, but he did eventually join his boyfriend in sleep. It was probably one of the deepest, most satisfying sleeps he'd had in a long time. Normally he would wake up from nightmares or with a sore back, but when he woke up with Fenris in his arms, he felt none of those things.

 

Hawke felt a warmth bubbling from his belly up into his chest as he smiled to himself, pulling Fenris closer to him and nestling his face between the other man's shoulders. He wasn't quite awake yet, definitely not conscious enough to face the world. Yet as he pulled Fenris forward, he did come to a bit of a realization that had him reeling. _Fuck, body, why do we have to do this now? Can we not just cuddle? Can we not be easily satisfied?_ He tried to position himself so that Fenris hopefully wouldn't feel or realize what sort of betrayal was going on, but the awareness of it was enough to keep Hawke from going back to sleep. He tried, but ultimately failed. _God damn it, why?_

Fenris awoke to Hawke shuffling behind him and for a moment he forgot where he was, unused to sleeping anywhere but his own home. The last time had been in a hotel on vacation with Adrian. Something hot pressed against his backside, needy and insistent. He wiggled back against it, stirring him into being fully awake.

"Good morning," he mumbled, leaning his head back against Hawke's shoulder. "You seem... _happy_ this morning."

Hawke blushed a deep shade of red, willing himself to die right at that very moment, or at the very least, crawl under a rock and never come back out.

"Yeah—... uh, It's— shit. Fuck. Sorry. It's really embarrassing, I hate when this happens," he looked away, face burning like he'd lit it on fire. Why did he have to be like this? Why now? What sins did he commit to deserve this kind of humiliation as his punishment? "Pretend you didn't even notice it, and it'll go away. Hopefully."

Fenris shuffled to sit upright, making sure to take care that he didn't put any strain on his damaged shoulder. In an instant, he swung his leg over and straddled Hawke's lap. The collar of his baggy shirt began slipping towards his shoulder with the motion and he nestled his ass against Hawke's erection. From here, he could look down at Hawke, a position he didn't see often and it reassured him that it was indeed Hawke below him with his cock against his backside.

"Maybe I want to notice it," he said and pressed back against him, eyes still lidded from how sleepy he was. He was still adjusting to his surroundings. "I couldn't make good on my promise last night."

Hawke gasped at the new weight in his lap, pushing himself up on his elbows, pupils suddenly blown wide as he looked from Fenris's thighs up to his face, his beautiful hooded eyes.

"I—... I mean, hell if I'm gonna stop you," he tripped over the words a bit, obviously in a similar state as Fenris and not quite awake yet. "Are you... sure? Like, your shoulder," he gestured loosely towards it with one of his hands, the other slowly finding purchase on Fenris's calf and gently running up it, caressing his knee and then his thigh.

“My shoulder will be fine, just don’t touch it,” Fenris told him, glancing over at it. It looked worse than it felt, still looking red and swollen but a lot of the pain had subsided. So long as he didn’t put too much pressure on it, he’d be perfectly fine. He was much more interested in something else.

He lifted the baggy shirt to slid the boxers down over his hipbones and pulled them off the end of his feet. Faintly, he could recall when Hawke had shuffled over to the nightstand with him in his arms, to retrieve all the supplies needed for this particular activity. He hummed quietly as he leaned over to rifle through said drawer and retrieve the lube and a condom.

Hawke let his eyes rake over the other man's bare skin, heart pounding. He was too tired to ask or even question where Fenris was going with this, he just let it happen, let him do whatever he wanted to do with him. He could feel his pulse all the way in the tips of his fingers as he took his boyfriend's ass into his hands. His PJ pants did very little to hide his erection, and Hawke was beyond caring. He pulled Fenris closer to him, adjusting their positions so that he was sitting up with his back against the headboard and Fenris fully in his lap.

It took all the strength he had in him not to grind himself up against Fenris, but he tried to instil what little patience he had at this early hour of the morning, gripping his boyfriends ass and slipping his head down to place kisses and playful bites along his neck.

He was reluctant to pry Hawke’s hand off his ass but he had to if they were to progress. However, Hawke’s attentions were nibbling at the memory of the attackers from last night. Hawke was the only person he’d do this for, the only person he wanted to. Might as well give him a show to make up for everything that happened. He lathered his fingers in the lube and reached back, keeping his gaze on Hawke with a flush on his cheeks as he pushed the first finger inside himself.

It was perfunctory at best, doing the job of preparing him. He put it on a little, rocking back on one, two, three fingers and gasping, moaning. His fingers were nothing compared to Hawke’s, much slimmer and smaller, but they’d do the job well enough even with the size of Hawke’s substantial cock. He slid the condom across Hawke’s chest for him to sort out while he stretched himself out with three fingers, almost ready to take him.

Hawke gaped at him, watching with hungry eyes as Fenris put on this little show for him; and he was honestly surprised he didn't drool. This was easily the hottest thing he'd ever seen in his entire life. He swallowed, fumbling with the condom and the lube impatiently. It took a few tries, but he got himself situated, pants rolled down to his knees and completely erect cock sprung free, aching for Fenris. What time was it? When was Sebastian coming back with the kids? Was he... coming here to drop them off or were they expected to get them? More importantly, now long could they get away with this? Because, in all honesty, Hawke could do this all day if time and circumstances allowed it.

He grabbed Fen's ass again and gently urged the fingers out of his hole. Running his own teasingly over it, humming contentedly at the newly stretched opening, ready and waiting for him.

"I dunno," he teased, pulling back a bit but not moving his hands from their place. "What if your dad shows up? We don't even know what time it is."

The playfulness was clear in his tone as he smiled lazily at the other, eyes still raking shamelessly over his body. Fuck, he was so beautiful. Even with that busted shoulder.

Fenris twitched slightly at the feel of his fingers brushing against his hole. He became aware of how much he wanted this, aching to have something inside him and wondering how he ever went so long without it. Never mind a vacation away from the kids, allowing himself a good fuck was more _self-care_ than anything.

“He can wait,” Fenris breathed, knowing that his dad would likely turn up without a text by a certain time but ignoring that fact. Then he shuffled to line himself up with the tip of Hawke’s cock. He didn’t care for more preparation, _he_ had no plans on waiting. Without further ado, Fenris began to sink down on his length until he reached the hilt. He rolled his hips once he was fully seated, groaning low in his throat as he adjusted to the stretch. It was becoming easier the more they did it and he hoped that Hawke would continue to want to. He would be content just to sit here with his cock lodged deep inside him, but they both would soon grow tired of the wait. So, he rested his hand Hawke’s chest and the other keeping the baggy shirt slightly lifted, and slowly manoeuvred himself into a slow, steady rhythm.

Hawke's breathe hitched as Fenris just took the initiative to impale himself on Hawke's cock, slowly beginning to fuck himself on him. This was so good that he could feel it tingling down his knees and into his ankles, hands curling into fists as he gripped the other man's ass a little harder. It seemed like each time they did this, he went in just a little faster and just a little easier each time. What if they kept doing this? What if they did it all the time? Would Fenris just... take it? Just like that? _Oh Maker..._

He moaned, not bothering to try and contain it this time as he thrust up into Fenris with a new-found energy, holding his hips down against his own in doing so in an attempt to go deeper. His other hand gripped the sheets beside his hip, knuckles turning white and bicep pulsing with strength. It wasn't enough. _Andraste_ , it was so good but it wasn't enough. He grabbed Fenris again and flipped them so that Fenris was pinned beneath his weight, pressed into the soft mattress as Hawke buried his face into his shoulder, using the position to fuck into Fenris at a new, rougher pace, going as deep as his body would allow.

As Hawke moved their positions, his shirt fell bunched up at his waist. He wrapped his arms tightly under Hawke’s arms, digging his nails into his back and appreciating the weight Hawke was putting on him more than he expected. His legs trembled with the movement, the new position allowing for a much deeper penetration. He didn’t know if it was Hawke or simply just his magnificent cock that reached places inside him that he’d never been able to reach before. Either way, it was illegally good. As he fucked into him harder, he breathed moans and whispers of “Hawke” and “fuck me” into his ear.

Every breathy moan or murmur of his name only seemed to urge him onward, as if he needed much more encouragement than the nails on his back or the legs wrapped around his waist, trembling with the sensation. He couldn't help but tell him just how good he felt, whispering it into his ear as he drove into him again with a new determination, causing the bed to creak a little. He let his teeth rake up the other man's jawline and nibble at his ears. There were still hickeys there from the day before, and he had no shame about kissing and biting at them again just to tease that sensitive flesh. He let his free hand slip between them as well, groping Fenris's leaking cock and pressing his thumb over the tip, spreading the fluids across his exposed stomach. _Fuck_ , he could do this all day.

The moment Hawke grabbed hold of his cock, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. Everything felt exquisite, the stimulation on both ends driving him closer and closer to the edge. Hawke’s dirty praise in his ear only turned him on further, profusely leaking precome into his hand. The whole world revolved around the sensations he was feeling. In fact, he was so far gone he didn’t even hear the knocking on the front door, or even the knocking on the bedroom door.

He was close. So very close. Hawke gave a particularly deep thrust and he could no longer control it. The bedroom door creaked open but he couldn’t stop it. His orgasm came upon him like a freight train and he had to bite down on his lip with the intensity once his eyes met familiar bright blue ones over Hawke’s shoulder.

“Fenris—” Sebastian began, though froze the second he realised _exactly_ what was going on. Fenris’s cheeks flushed with humiliation as he rapidly tapped Hawke to get his attention. “Maker have mercy!”

This was a dream. This definitely wasn’t happening. His dad definitely wasn’t shielding his red face with his hand to protect his eyes from seeing his son debauched like that. Nope. No. Wasn’t happening. This was the worst thing that could possibly happen to him. He was going to crawl in a hole and die. If Sebastian was here, it meant the kids weren’t far behind. _Oh Maker._

“I will meet you by the car,” Sebastian said quickly after clearing his throat, before Fenris could say anything he quickly turned on his heels and left the room.

Fuck.

Well. There went that. Hawke watched with a horrified expression as Sebastian left. That... couldn't have been any worse. Wait. No. It definitely could have. That didn't make this any better by comparison, though.

" _Fuuucckkkk_ ," he grit his teeth. He was still so painfully hard and after Fenris came, he wouldn't have been far behind— if not for someone. He would... just have to suffer through it. He couldn't deal with it now, not with Sebastian now waiting on them. He grumbled below his breath and pulled out, running his fingers through his hair as he pulled his pants back up with shaky hands. "Shit. Damn it." The erection had softened a bit, but his semi was still visible in the soft fabric. He'd have to go put some real pants on if he wanted to at least try to hide it. Also, Sebastian was probably going to notice Fenris's shoulder too. They'd have to have that conversation. Maker... what a morning. "Come on, I guess that means we have to clean up."

He reached for a tissue box from the side table and started cleaning cum from his hands as well as from his boyfriend's belly with a gentle touch. Just when he thought he was having a good morning. Fenris groaned, leaning his head back against the bed and covering his eyes with his arm. He couldn’t believe this. In all his life, he had never once been caught in the act and it was now of all times. The Maker certainly had a sense of humour. Not only did he get interrupted and walked in on during sex, but there were only more difficult situations to come.

Once cleaned up, he reluctantly pulled himself out of bed and began to properly get dressed. He folded Hawke’s shirt over his arm, fully intent on taking it back with him. Looking over at Hawke, he felt bad. He’d initiated sex because of his erection and the poor man didn’t even get to finish while he did.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Fenris said, walking over to him and grabbing his hand. He met his gaze. “I owe you a blowjob. And before you say anything, I want to.”

He tugged the man down for a quick kiss before walking out of the bedroom to meet his fate— _his dad._

Hawke gaped at him when he'd said that, hardly able to believe his ears, and before he could think of a sensible reply, Fenris had walked out. Hawke huffed and pulled on a shirt and jeans, doing everything he could to hide his... situation... and it seemed okay. It wasn't too noticeable as long as you weren't looking like directly at it. He followed Fenris out to the front lawn where Sebastian was waiting by the car. He was extremely thankful to see the kids over by the barn, but now definitely wasn't a good time to think about Fenris and blowjobs at the same time. He didn't even know what to say, he was so embarrassed he swore he forgot how to speak English. He had even lingered a bit behind Fenris, hoping the red in his cheeks wasn't as noticeable as he thought.

He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to have this conversation or to have to look his dad in the face after what he had just witnessed. Luckily, Sebastian seemed to feel the same way and refused to meet the eyes of both Fenris and Hawke. But then he noticed the shoulder. Fenris saw him notice it. It was all downhill from here.

“Fenris,” Sebastian began, struggling slightly to get his words out. _Maker this was awkward._ “Your shoulder, what happened?”

Fenris glanced over at Hawke, wondering what he was going to tell him. Was it that obvious? Sebastian seemed to notice the two of them exchanging looks and furrowed his eyebrows. Then he walked towards Fenris and put a hand on his arm. He kept speaking only quiet, for Fenris to hear alone; “Does he have something to do with it? Did he hurt you? Fenris you could’ve called, I would have taken you home.”

“No! No. Dad, it’s fine. We went out last night and ran into a bit of trouble that’s all. I’ll…explain in the car. Where’s the kids?” Fenris replied. Sebastian frowned, clearly dissatisfied with the answer but unwilling to press on it while Hawke was still stood there. He gestured over to the barn where Adrian and Sam were chatting and Sam pointed things out to Adrian. But Adrian’s attention was drawn away the moment he saw Fenris and began running towards him.

“Dad!” he exclaimed, arms outstretched and running into his arms. Fenris winced a little as he made contact with his shoulder but he grit out a smile. Sebastian however, took note. “They have ponies! Real ones!”

“Oh yeah?” Fenris replied. Adrian nodded quickly. “That’s cool. Did you and Sam have a nice time?” He nodded again.

Hawke smiled at his daughter and happily scooped her up into his arms, stealing her from her friend and holding her above him as though she weighed nothing at all before pulling her close and putting a big sloppy kiss on her cheek. He didn't want to pay attention to Fenris and Sebastian right now, let alone listen. He knew it couldn't be good, not with the glare he was getting. Sam was a perfect distraction, and he hadn't realized until now just how much he'd missed her. She squealed and tried to push him away, but to no avail! Hawke steals another kiss and she makes a disgusted sound.

"I missed you so much," he hummed as he nuzzled her hair. "Don't ever leave like that again."

Sam pushed his face away and grunted as she tried to wiggle to her freedom. "Stop acting weird and put me down. I wanna show Adrian how that goat faints when she's scared!"

"Don't stress out Marian. She hasn't done anything to you," he said, reluctantly releasing her. "Go in the house, I have some watermelon in the fridge. Take that to the chickens, they'll love you forever."

Sam grinned and took her friend's hand again.

"Okay. We're gonna go do that now." She led him up the stairs and into the house, the screen door slamming shut after them. Hawke knew they'd probably make a mess but right now he couldn't care less.

As he watched Sam drag Adrian inside the house, Fenris realised they were going to be sticking around here a little longer than anticipated. This couldn’t possibly get more awkward. Ideally, if it hadn’t been for his shoulder and their morning being interrupted, he would’ve suggested Sebastian come in for a hot drink or something while the kids played around for a little while. But he could practically feel the animosity his dad held for Hawke right now. It was misplaced, but he didn’t know that yet.

All things considered, he supposed he should be grateful for that it had been Sebastian who caught them in the bedroom and not the kids. They were far too young to understand what they were doing and it would be difficult to lie considering everything was taking place on top of the covers. Fenris didn’t even want to think about giving Adrian ‘The Talk’ when he got a bit older. He remembered his own dad attempting to give him it when he was a teenager and already fooling around with girls and boys alike. Awkward, just awkward.

Hawke cleared his throat, shoving his hands in his pockets as Sam ran back out with Adrian with a big bowl of watermelon chunks in her hands, they ran towards the barn like they were being chased and Hawke gestured to the door.

"Uhhh.... do you.... want some coffee? There's a patio on the other side, so like, we can watch the kids." Man, this was the most awkward thing he'd ever experienced in his life. He knew Adrian probably wouldn't want to leave for a while, and Sebastian was itching to get Fenris away. Maybe he could settle the atmosphere somehow? Hell, it was worth a shot. "Or hot tea. Whatever it is you're in to."

“Tea if you don’t mind,” Sebastian replied, defences still up but realising the situation they were in. He wasn’t going to force Adrian to go home because he had some suspicions about Hawke. Fenris let a big sigh of relief and showed Sebastian through to the patio whilst Hawke scurried off to make the tea. He was beginning to become familiar with Hawke’s home. Once they were seated, Sebastian turned to look at him. “Please tell me what happened. You know I am only concerned because I care.”

Fenris looked down at the floor for a while, mulling it over. He was going to have to get it out the way eventually and the sooner he did, hopefully the sooner he could clear Hawke’s name of the blame.

“Fine. Look. We went out to make a quick stop at Hawke’s work. The truck broke down on the way back and some guys tried to rob us. They didn’t steal anything dad, it’s fine, we fought them off but one of them dislocated my shoulder. We got back fine, made a quick trip to the hospital to pop my shoulder back in and give me some pain meds. That’s it. That’s all that happened. It’s not Hawke’s fault and I’m fine, okay?” Fenris explained, leaving out the more specific details of what the attackers had wanted to do and the fact that certain paths were Hawke’s decision. He didn’t blame Hawke for that, he just wanted to get back quick enough to fix the truck which was unsalvageable.

“Maker Fenris. Did you call the police? Are you sure you’re alright? Why didn’t you call me at the hospital?” he asked. Fenris pressed his lips together.

“I knew you would worry and you’d have to bring Adrian and Sam with you, they would worry too. I didn’t want that. It’s better this way. Hawke’s friend drove us to the hospital, she’s a policewoman it’ll be _fine_ ,” Fenris replied. Sebastian didn’t seem entirely convinced but before he could protest, Hawke came out with the tea.

"Ta-da," he hummed in a sing song voice, trying to lighten the mood a little bit as he took a seat beside Fenris. He hadn't heard much of the conversation while he was inside, just the muffled sound of voices through the patio door. He looked out over the yard.

Sam had let the chickens out to play in the grass, thankfully making sure Burger was on a leash this time. She and Adrian sat with the watermelon, feeding the chickens and petting them. He really wanted to reach over and hold Fenris's hand bur for some reason he felt like that wouldn't be the best idea right now.

"How were the kids? I hope they didn't give you too much grief," Hawke said, trying to dispel the stiff awkwardness that seemed to be looming around them.

“Everything was fine. They spent most of the time upstairs in Adrian’s room but they came down to watch a movie in the evening. Sam sure, uh, eats a lot,” Sebastian commented with his voice firm and not looking Hawke in the eye (how could he after walking on what he was doing to his son?) but his eyebrows still furrowed and posture stiff. He took a long sip of the tea, which was surprisingly good. Then he quickly looked Hawke up and down. “She’ll be a tall girl."

"Oh, yeah, definitely. My brother is convinced that she'll top off eventually and be short like her mother, but she takes way too much after me to not end up being ridiculously tall as well," he took a drink of his coffee and settled back into his chair, content that now they were actually making conversation. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all? "I can probably compensate you for that, if you need me to. I know she can pretty effectively clean out the cabinets."

“Oh no, it’s quite alright. Just making a statement,” Sebastian replied, averting his gaze now and looking over at where Adrian and Sam were. Adrian seemed to be warming up to the chickens with Sam’s encouragement. He’d never been in close contact with them before, only seem them driving past farms. “If you don’t mind my asking, where is Sam’s mother?”

“ _Dad_ ,” Fenris cut in, frowning. You couldn’t just ask someone that. Merrill was a sore subject for Hawke and he didn’t want to cause him any upset, not after everything that had already happened.

Hawke visibly stiffened at that, causing his coffee to splash a bit out of the mug and onto the deck. He didn't even seem to notice it, he just stared down into the remaining coffee as if it would give him the strength to answer this question, especially after the events of the day before. Where is Sam's mother? began to loop in his mind, playing as if on a broken record.

"I..." he swallowed, fuck, were his hands shaking? He gripped the mug tighter in an attempt to hide it and straightened himself, clenching his teeth. "She left not long after Sam was born. She's... in the Peace Corps. So, she was gone... a lot. She didn't understand why this would be stressful for Sam, or how it was stressful for me. So, I... told her she had to choose, her family or her lifestyle. And she ditched me and Sam to go build homes for refugees in Haiti," his tongue was completely dry as he spoke, tone thick and raspy. "She used to come back every few months and see Sam, but basically it just left Sam wondering why she wasn't important enough for her mom to prioritize her, so... recently, I basically told her to stop coming. It'd be better for Sam that way, anyways."

What his dad thought be damned, Fenris reached over and rubbed Hawke’s arm reassuringly. He knew it was difficult for him to talk about and he started talking before he could tell him he didn’t have to answer.

“Oh, I see. I’m sorry,” Sebastian said, looking down into his cup and taking another sip of tea. “Perhaps it is for the best then, your kid’s wellbeing should be your utmost priority,” his eyes flickered over to Fenris. “If Sam is happier with her cut out of her life, then you should do the right thing.”

"I think I did the right thing," he looked over at Fenris and cracked a small smile, and he seemed to visibly relax a little at the touch. He put his hand on top of Fenris's and let his thumb run over his knuckles. "Sam has been doing a lot better since she's become friends with Adrian. She’s not as insecure or angry or down on herself, and he keeps her out of trouble. Well, most of the time anyways."

He looked back over to the yard where Sam was showing Adrian how to hold the hens, and how they clucked in a way that almost sounded like purring when you rubbed their bellies. Adrian was fascinated by the prospect of cuddling the chickens and was giggling to Sam about how soft their feathers were. He hadn’t expected to make a friend in this bird but one of them had warmed up to him immensely. It made Hawke’s heart swell, and he swore he wanted to wake up to this sight every morning for the rest of his life. He wasn't sure whether or not Sebastian was looking at him with mild neutrality or extreme distrust and hatred. I mean, Fenris had gotten hurt really badly because of Hawke and could have been hurt a lot worse, and Sebastian had walked in on Hawke defiling his son completely. Who could blame the man if he hated him?

“Dad, you know what it’s like raising a child on your own. You raised me and I’m raising Adrian alone. Hawke is…” Fenris paused and huffed a little. “An idiot, but he’s a good man. And I’m happy. That’s what matters to you, right?”

Sebastian mulled over his words. He wasn’t about to let all this slide so easily but it was hard to protest when Fenris was looking at him like that. It was the same look he used as a child to get an extra cookie after dinner. A look it had always been hard to get mad at. So, he breathed a soft; “I suppose.”

Hawke smiled proudly at that, looking back at Fenris and fighting back the urge to kiss him right there. Instead, he interlocked their fingers and gave him a knowing look before turning back to Sebastian.

"I don't know how long you guys planned on staying, but Adrian looks like he wants to take Annabelle home with him." He gestured to the boy who was cuddling a fluffy black and white hen who had settled very happily in his lap. Sam was holding the rooster, Maxwell, who was much bigger than the others but no less of a snuggle bug. His farm was basically just a big farm of Animals Who Really Like Hugs. His father had originally intended it to be something else but, hey, this was Hawke's farm now, and he was damn proud of it. "I mean, he's welcome to. If you've got a mind for adopting a chicken."

“Seems like a gateway to thinking he can take care of a pet. It’ll be me who ends up looking after the chicken,” Fenris said with a snort of laughter. He squeezed Hawke’s hand, glad to be holding it. The display in front of his dad seemed much more intimate than when he had caught them in the act. “When he’s more responsible, perhaps.”

Sebastian finished his tea and eventually the two children were pried away from the chickens. Eventful as the past 24 hours had been, it was time for Adrian and Fenris to go home. Fenris was almost reluctant to leave but he did have a life to get back to. Sebastian helped Adrian into the car seat, buckling him in whilst Fenris stood outside the car with Hawke.

“Bad parts aside, I had a nice time,” Fenris said slowly, shuffling on his feet and holding Hawke’s shirt and the pain medication he’d received from the hospital close to his chest. “I suppose I will see you soon, Hawke.”

He couldn’t resist dragging the man down for a kiss, even if Sebastian could see them through the car window.

Hawke put a hand on his waist, smiling and returning the kiss. It was short lived, too short lived, but as he pulled away he offered a small wink and tucked his hands into his pockets.

"So, did I," he cooed, eyes twinkling fondly. In the corner of his eye, he could see Sam rounding the chickens back up into their pen again. Normally she would throw a fit until Hawke did it for her. This sudden display of responsibility was... really heart-warming. His baby girl was growing up. "Call me and we can make plans to get together again? Hopefully sometime soon?"

Fenris smiled at him, open and genuine. Several months ago, he would’ve scoffed at the idea that he would be in a relationship like this right now. That he would find some kind of happiness. It was best not to get too comfy straight away but this date had been a big step for them in terms of intimacy. That, he had no complaints about. Even if he had ended up with a dislocated shoulder.

“I’d like that,” he said, reaching up for one last kiss before saying his goodbyes and getting into the car with Sebastian who drove them home. It was quiet on the journey, Sebastian not wanting to press the Hawke issue further. At least, not while Adrian could hear them.


	9. Birthday Baking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Adrian's birthday! Hawke and Fenris begin preparing for the big day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> felt like updating again bc i love the boys. birthday chapter is long so once again, its been split up into two parts. this is a shorter chapter (:
> 
> anyways, hope you enjoy! comments make us happy!

Once Fenris arrived home, he could see a figure pacing around near the door. He frowned. He couldn’t recognise them from this distance. Fenris waved at Sebastian as he drove off, holding tightly onto Adrian’s hand as he approached.

Merrill could feel her heart pounding in her ears. Was she sure that this was a good idea? Would it be too late for her to back out? No, and yes. This Fenris guy would definitely see her leave, without a doubt. She bit her lip, taking a deep breath and doing a little knock at the door. This was easily one of the scariest things she'd ever done in her life, and she'd been to _Africa_.  As far as she was concerned, this 'Fenris' was far more intimidating to her than any lion or rhino could be. She was the ex-girlfriend after all, the absent mother. Being a villainous figure wasn't exactly something that she was used to.

“Can I help you?” Fenris said, startling the poor girl as she turned around to look at him. He stared at her, a questioning look on his face as he held Adrian’s hand tighter. Once he got a good look at her face, he realised who she was. What on Earth did _Merrill_ want with him? She’d done enough to Hawke yesterday.

"Oh—hello," she greeted, wearing the best smile she could muster. "You're... Fenris, right? I uh, just wanted to talk, if that's alright. Though I totally understand if it's not. Given the circumstances and... everything." She cleared her throat and tried to keep eye contact, but ultimately failed, as she usually did. Confrontation was easily her greatest weakness.

“Sure,” Fenris replied with a suspicious lilt to his tone. He moved past her and let go of Adrian’s hand to dig out his house keys. Adrian stared up at her, furrowing his eyebrows. He could see some of Sam’s features in her face and wondered who she was. Then Fenris looked down to address him. “Adrian, go in the living room and watch TV or something okay?”

Adrian nodded and scurried into the house. Fenris turned back to Merrill and began leading her to the kitchen, where he set down the shirt and pain medication on the countertop. Merrill followed him in, looking around with wide, curious eyes. Sam had the same ones, big, deep emerald green, and full of bubbling curiosity and excitement. Now, however, she seemed a lot more like a puppy with its tail tucked between its legs. She stood stiffly next to the kitchen table, nervously picking at her fingers.

"Listen, I... don't wish to be rude. I'm just... concerned." She straightened her spine, putting on the boldest expression she could muster. "I wanted to know what your intentions were. With... Hawke."

“Kill him and harvest his organs obviously,” Fenris replied completely deadpan. He walked over to pour himself a glass of water and when he turned and noticed Merrill’s completely horrified expression, he realised she hadn’t caught on to the fact he was joking. Awkward. He had to quickly clarify. “I’m joking. I care about Hawke and have no ill intent if that’s what you are worried about, though I don’t see why you are since you seem to have no problem putting him under stress. It amazes me that you have concern for his feelings at all, being the one that hurt him.”

Was he too harsh? He didn’t care. It seemed like she needed someone to set her straight and Hawke had already done half the job already. He took a long sip of his water.

She flinched a little at that last comment, looking down towards the floor. He was right to think that about her, and she knew it in her heart. She'd hurt Hawke very deeply, that much as obvious. However, it was never too late to try to set things right, she supposed. Even after six years.

"The way that Hawke looked at you when he saw you... he used to look at me like that, you know," she said sorrowfully, looking distantly toward the living room. "He was always so sweet. He bought me flowers whenever I left and whenever I came home, he would've done anything for me. Especially when we figured out that I was pregnant with Sam. Hawke is... he's the best man I've ever met. But he wears his heart on his sleeve and he's emotional, sensitive. If you only _knew_ the things that happened to him—..." she paused, letting the sentence trail off and vanish into the silent void. "Hawke doesn't need someone, well, someone _else_ to come into his life and hurt him. He's been through so much and he deserves to be happy. Even if I... can't be the one who causes it."

“I don’t want to hurt him, not if I can help it. He deserves nothing less than happiness, I can agree with that. So, you don’t have to worry about that, I have no ill intentions,” Fenris said, finishing off the glass of water and setting it down on the counter. Fenris did worry that he wouldn’t be able to settle, that things would get too serious between Hawke and him and he’d want to run, like he had done in the past. The bottom line however, was still that he didn’t want to cause Hawke any pain. From the sounds of it, he’d been through enough. “Is that all?”

"Good, that... makes me feel a lot better, actually," she said with a sigh, letting her shoulders relax. "One last question, though. How is... Sam? Hawke never really told me last time we talked, aside from mentioning your son.  You don't have to answer if you don't want to but I... would appreciate knowing."

“She’s a handful,” Fenris replied. It was still a surprise that she and Adrian had become such good friends. He certainly wouldn’t have befriended anyone who punched him in the nose. “But she’s a good kid, she’s doing fine and Hawke said she’s calmed down a lot since making friends with Adrian. Apparently.”

"That's _wonderful_ ," she gushed, her eyes twinkling a little bit as she imagined it, Sam actually having another child to play with who wasn't scared to death of her. It was such a nice turn of events. "Thank you. For what it's worth, you seem like... a good person. I'd say we might be able to be friends if our situations weren't... you know. What they are," she laughed a little nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. "Oh, and Hawke is very allergic to bees.  And almonds. He's also afraid of cats. He thinks they're always planning something shifty. Just... just keep him very very safe, please? He needs it."  She cleared her throat and began to head back toward the door, stopping for a moment to turn back and wave. "Good bye, Fenris. It was good to meet you."

And with that, she was gone, just as quickly as she arrived.

Fenris watched her leave, unsure what to do with all this new information. He wondered what she had come for, just to…ask him about Hawke? That was it? She just wanted to know if he was…happy? He supposed he could understand why she was the sort of person Hawke would fall in love with. They were similar, in an odd way. It did make him wonder what Hawke saw in a guy like him. It felt strange to hear her call him a “good person”. What, because he didn’t want to hurt someone he cared about? He tutted to himself and quickly rinsed the glass he had drank out of. Should he tell Hawke she came? He had time to think about it.

 

The day of Adrian's birthday came a lot faster than Hawke had originally expected it to. He and Sam had found the perfect present for him while browsing through the toy store, and Sam was talking about how thrilled she was to see the look on his face. She'd reluctantly allowed Hawke to plait her hair out of her face again, putting a little bow tie around the end. Sam would never be a girly girl, but Hawke could appreciate how cute it looked on her. Ever since the breakdown, he'd had to drive around in an SUV that he rented from the local dealership. It was... actually nice. He missed his truck, without a doubt, but the replacement wasn't exactly terrible. He could get used to it if he had to.

After putting Burger up and taking care of the animals, Hawke had packed Sam into the car and made his way to Fenris's place. He felt like that little bubble of nervousness in his chest should have gone away at this point in their relationship. But, for some reason, he felt like seeing Fenris would always get him all weird and fuzzy inside no matter how many times it happened. They'd gone to the porch and knocked on the door, despite Sam's insistence that they should just be able to walk in at this point.

Setting up the party had meant that there was lots of work to do. Fenris and Adrian were expecting a handful of classmates to come to the party, they certainly had the house space to accommodate them. He’d already purchased plenty of snacks and drinks for children and adults alike. Adrian was bumbling with excitement, the presents and cards had to be hidden away until later when the party actually began. Instead, he got to watch as much television as he wished until the party started and was to stay out of the kitchen at all costs. Fenris had invited Hawke early to help with the baking. The birthday cake was the main delicacy but he planned on whipping up some cookies, muffins, and cupcakes if he had the time. With Hawke’s help, maybe he would manage.

Upon hearing the knock at the door, Fenris sussed it must be Hawke. He hurried out of the kitchen to answer the door and smiled when he saw him. Because he had been working in the kitchen, he still had an apron tied around his waist and his hair pushed back with a hairband to keep it out of his eyes.

“Hawke. Sam,” he greeted. He held the door open for them. “Come in, Adrian is in the living room.”

Hawke forgot how to breathe for a moment as he took in the sight of Fenris. He felt like every time he saw him he got whiplash and he had to take a few minutes to remember how to be a human again.

"H-hi," he stammered, wearing his usual goofy smile. Sam didn't hesitate, she shoved the gift into Hawke's arms, and ran into the house to go find Adrian. Her braid swung back and forth behind her and he knew the bow wouldn't last long. None of the other kids had arrived yet but Hawke had a small fear that they would be familiar to him. If they were, that meant Sam had hit at least one of them before, and their parents would be there as well. _Maker help him_... He slowly walked in, almost stumbling a bit as he came through the doorway. "How is everything so far? It looks like you've got almost everything done already."

“Just the baking left to do,” Fenris replied, shutting the door front door behind Hawke once he was in. He led Hawke to the kitchen where he had all the supplies out on the countertops. “I was hoping you’d help. The real test of course, is keeping Adrian out of the kitchen. He tries to sneak in sometimes hoping to see his cake.”

He hummed thoughtfully as he began sorting the supplies into separate piles, then realised he’d forgotten the decorations so he reached for one of the cupboards and pulled out a selection of chocolate drops, sprinkles, and other miscellaneous decorations that could be put on a cake.

"Sure, I can guard the door if you want," he offered with a small chuckle, propping his elbow on the counter as he watched Fenris sort things out. He felt slightly over dressed compared to the other man. He was wearing his good jeans and a grey and blue striped polo that really did wonders for his arms. However, Fenris could look like a model in just about anything he was wearing. Especially this. "Forget the cake, though. You look way tastier."

It sounded _ridiculously_ cheesy when he actually said it out loud. Oh well, too late to take it back now. Fenris chuckled at the comment at least, a little pink flushing in his cheeks. Whilst he appreciated Hawke’s shameless flirting, it perhaps wasn’t exactly the time for it. A whole bunch of children bustling around couldn’t be more of a cockblock. There would be a time for it, if Hawke wanted to stick around until Adrian’s 7:30 PM bed time. After all, he had promises to make good on still.

“I could say the same about you,” he replied, a smirk tugging on his lips as he grabbed a mixing bowl to begin preparing the first ingredients for the cake.

"Hm... I feel like I'm more of a bagel, honestly. Not that special or tasty all things considered," he shrugged, turning towards the door and peeking out as the kids played. He'd set Adrian's present on the table with the others, and neither of them seemed to be fussing too much over what was happening in the kitchen. "How many people are coming out tonight?" he asked, changing the subject as he looked back at Fenris. "Also, should I introduce myself as your boyfriend or... Is it too early?"

“Depends who actually turns up. Should be 5 or 6 other kids at most and whichever parents stick around. Don’t ask me to tell you their names, Adrian talks about his classmates and I can never remember who’s who,” Fenris replied, getting Hawke to pass him ingredients as he mixed them together with a wooden spoon. “I expect the other parents might be more interested to know you’re Sam’s dad, if they haven’t already had a run in with you. But if it comes up, you can certainly mention we’re together. I don’t mind.”

"Hmm... fair point. I think they'd be more interested in lecturing me about how much of a horrible child Sam is than hearing about the fact that we're an item," he laughed a little at that, crossing his arms over his chest. In all honesty, he hoped that didn't happen. He didn't deal with confrontation well and he knew he'd just spend this entire party apologizing if it came down to it. The other parents of the neighbourhood were never big fans of him, even when Sam was just four years old in Pre-K. He remembered getting dirty looks at orientation because Sam had pulled one of the other girl's hair. "I want this to be a fun party. Maybe if the kids and parents see how Sam is with Adrian, they'll realize that she isn't so bad. Like... that she's human. Just like anybody else. I guess."

“Adrian won’t take well to anyone having problems with Sam and neither will I,” Fenris said, putting the mixing bowl down and grabbing another one to make a separate mixture before he could combine them. He knew how to make cakes like it was second nature. “They’ll quickly learn they aren’t welcome here if they kick up a fuss. Adrian cares more about Sam than any of his classmates. He considers her his best friend you know.”

Hawke's expression brightened a little at that, looking visibly relieved.

"He... does?" he sounded like he could hardly believe it. "That's amazing. I never thought Sam would have a real friend at all, let alone a best friend." He shook his head, turning back into the kitchen and leaning over the counter, watching as Fenris stirred the mixture. "How has your week been, though? Anything interesting happen?"

He was tempted to put his finger in the dough and eat some of it, but he had a feeling Fenris would quickly chop his finger off for doing something like that. So, he decided against it.

“It’s been fine. I don’t know if Sam said anything but Adrian has been doing very well in school. He presented a piece of homework he did to that new principal they have. I know he was grouchy that time in the park but he’s been doing nothing but singing Adrian’s praises lately. I’ve even been getting e-mails from the school,” Fenris told him, finishing mixing the second mixture and pouring the bowl into the other. Then he began stirring the two together. “I’m happy for him.”

"That's awesome, Fenris. I'm happy for him too. That principal still creeps me out though. Do you ever look at him while he waits out front of the school? He's there every morning when we drop them off and every afternoon when we pick them up. I dunno if you notice it or not but he like... watches you. It's creepy as fuck," he frowns and shakes his head, tapping a knuckle on the counter absently. "I dunno. Maybe I'm just paranoid after what happened in the park. Sam is poisoning my mind. She's convinced he's some sort of secret government agent sent to take her out. She tells me like, every day when she gets home from school how she's found more proof to support it."

Fenris rolled his eyes and got out a cake tray to pour the mixture into. _Watching_ him? He hadn’t noticed anything of the sort. It came as no surprise to him that Hawke might be feeling particularly protective of him considering everything that had happened. It was probably nothing. Right?

“He probably just recognises me as Adrian’s dad,” he suggested, tipping the bowl into the cake tray. “Worst case scenario he’s a sleazy old man who’s checking me out. But I doubt it.”

"Whatever. I'd totally check you out if I were a sleazy old man," he grumbled, though that definitely didn't do anything at all to prove his point. "But I guess if you're not worried, I shouldn't be either. For the record though, can we not both agree that the man looks like a sex offender? At the very least?"

“You don’t need to be a sleazy old man to check me out apparently,” Fenris said with a light chuckle. He walked over to the oven with the cake tray and opened it up to put it inside. Without further hesitation, he set the timer and started washing up the mixing bowls he had used so he could reuse them. He also quickly wiped down the countertops with a sponge. “And sure. I guess he does, a bit. Though, if he had a record he certainly shouldn’t be working with children.”

"Not true, he could be using a fake identity," Hawke argued, propping his chin up on his palms and smiling. He was just teasing now, though the thought of it did put a little more paranoia into his mind. Sam would definitely grow up to be a conspiracy theorist. No doubt. "It could be this huge elaborate scheme and we don't even know."

“Now you’re being ridiculous,” Fenris replied, laughing more. He looked down at his hands and realised he had some of the chocolate-y mixture on his fingers, so he leaned over and wiped it on Hawke’s nose with a smirk. “Next you’ll be telling me he’s an alien.”

Hawke chuckled and smiled, trying to lick the chocolate off of his nose but clearly failing in doing so. In defeat, he decided to scrape it off with his finger and pop it into his mouth, licking it off contentedly.

"Ooh, that's a good theory, it definitely makes sense," he cooed. "He hates Sam because he knows she's onto him. Sam's no fool. I raised her to know a reptilian shapeshifter alien when she sees one."

Fenris hummed. He didn’t _have_ to start anything else straight away while the cake was in the oven. There was still chocolate on his fingers. This time he decided to shush him, pressing a chocolate-y finger to his lips and smearing it across them. He would get it off himself, leaning forward to steal a kiss from Hawke and swipe the chocolate from his lips with his tongue. They were alone in the kitchen, where the kids had been explicitly told not to enter. Nothing wrong with a little bit of kissing.

Hawke took in a deep breath at the sensation of it, it sent sparks from his chest down to his fingertips, tingling around his groin. He let his hands reach between them to cup Fenris's face, deepening the kiss to conquer the other man's mouth with his tongue. He knew he probably should have cared about the kids in the other room and the parents who would soon arrive with more kids, but right now he didn't. Fenris sort of had that effect on him, one that just wiped him clean of shame, anxiety, and fear, but intoxicated him with desire, and a carnal need that refused to remain satisfied. He tasted like the chocolate he'd just licked off of his lips, but within that there was also Fenris. A Fenris mixed with thick sugary goodness and he felt like he shouldn't have enjoyed it as much as he did.

He kissed him until he was breathless. Fenris reluctantly pulled away for air and finished with a quick peck on the lips. He knew if he got too ahead of himself, he would soon regret it when he’s sporting an erection in his kitchen. However, he loved kissing Hawke. There was nothing else like it. He smiled, licking his lips for the aftermath of the chocolate and casually sauntered over to get the supplies. Next, he could begin working on the cookies.

Hawke smirked and openly ogled his ass as he walked off, pretty content with himself. He supposed there wouldn't be any harm in him staying after the party. Maybe Sam could have a sleep over. His heart rate sped up a bit just at the thought.

"Y’know, I feel like I'm distracting you more than I'm helping you," he confessed, glancing at the timer on the cake. "Is there something I can do besides stand guard?"

“Hmm they seem to be busy so come,” Fenris said, gesturing for Hawke to walk over to him. He grabbed the two-mixing bowls he had cleaned and the supplies needed for cookies. With the amount of people, he wondered if he’d need two batches. “I’ll teach you. Technically, you’re doing it but I’ll tell you what to do. Sound good?”

"Sure," Hawke hummed with a smile as he walked around the counter over to Fenris, taking one of the bowls in his hands. He wondered if this party was actually gonna end up being a huge one or not. Not that he minded crowds, but he felt like if there were more people present it was much more likely for someone to be there that hated Hawke's guts because of Sam. "What's step one?"

Fenris slid the butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla essence over to Hawke.

“You need to weigh these first things out. You want 125 grams of the butter, 100 of the sugar, 1 egg, and 1 and half teaspoons of vanilla essence,” Fenris began, pointing to each thing as he listed them. “You’re going to put them all in this bowl,” he tapped the edge of one of the mixing bowls. “And stir it all together with the wooden spoon.”

Hawke nodded, and found that measuring these things out evenly was a little more difficult than he would normally assume it to be. He always seemed to have just a little bit too much every time, and he was growing increasingly frustrated. When he managed to achieve the clean numbers Fenris wanted, however, he felt a spark of victory in his chest as he dumped the ingredients into the bowl. When he happily began mixing, he raised an eyebrow at Fenris in a _Is that all you've got?_ sort of way, very cocky. "What's next, boss?"

Fenris raised an eyebrow at his cockiness, knowing how he had previously been kicked out of a kitchen for his “skills” and how sugary the cookies he had brought to the picnic had been. It amused him, the air of confidence he had while Fenris was directing him. He picked up the sieve and slid it across to Hawke with the self-raising flour and salt.

“225 grams of the flour and half a teaspoon of the salt. Sieve them into the bowl. Not too slow, not too fast,” he explained, smirking a little. “Simple enough, yes?”

"'Not too slow, not too fast,' huh?" He pursed his lips in contemplation for a moment, furrowing his brow. "Alright, let's see here," he took the time to measure the powders out again, finding it a little easier this time than the last. Hey, maybe he wasn't such a bad cook after all. At least, with Fenris there, he wasn't. After measuring he followed the instructions given and began to sieve them into the bowl. He found a moderate pace, not slow or gentle but definitely not harsh either. He looked at Fenris for approval. "Is... this good? Or?"

“You’re doing fine,” Fenris replied with a hum, watching him sieve the entirety of the flour and salt into the mixture. “Mix it all in next.”

Fenris wandered back to the supplies and grabbed the packet of chocolate chips. He studied the packet for a moment before opening it up and taking a handful to pop in his mouth. Mmm. Chocolate. It didn’t hurt to eat some of them, they’d have more than enough for the cookies. Hopefully. If Hawke finished mixing soon.

"Hey! Pass some of those over here," Hawke pleaded a bit pitifully as he continued to sieve, giving Fenris these longing puppy eyes as he observed the chocolate in his hand. He poured the rest of the mixture in the bowl and began working it all together as he'd seen Fenris do before. It was actually beginning to look like cookie dough now, and his heart sang with pride.

“Say ‘aaaah’,” Fenris said, waiting for Hawke to open his mouth so he could place some of the chocolate chips inside. He dragged his fingers along his bottom lip as he removed his hand. Fenris waited for him to finish mixing in the new ingredients before setting down the packet of chocolate chips before him. “You want 200 grams of these. Mix them in again."

Hawke made a delightful noise as he ate the chocolate chips. He nodded, taking the bag and measuring it out. He might have put 205 grams, no harm in a little bit of extra chips, right? He dumped them quickly into the bowl and began mixing hopefully before Fenris would notice his sabotage, humming to himself as he stirred. "See, look at that. We make a great team."

Fenris chuckled, grabbing a large baking tray and cutting up some grease paper to put over the top so the cookies didn’t stick. Getting Hawke to evenly scoop out the cookies was going to be the hard part. Once Hawke finished mixing in the chips, he reached over and took the bowl and spoon from his hands.

“You’ve done the easy part now. Next you need to scoop out the mixture onto the tray, you have to get it as even as possible,” he explained, scooping out some of it and putting it on the tray. “About that size is good. It’ll never be perfect but at least…try to make them the same size. If you do it right, you should end up with about 20 cookies.”

Just as he finished talking, the oven beeped for the cake. Fenris handed Hawke the bowl and spoon back and grabbed the oven mitts. He carefully pried out the cake tray from the oven and drank in the smell of the baked good. He’d leave it to cool for a little while before he added the icing and decorations.

The smell of the cake was crazy intoxicating, Hawke had to take a moment to appreciate it before he followed Fenris's instructions and began scooping the dough out onto the tray. It was definitely a lot harder than it looked and he was making a bit of a mess, but he found a rhythm too it. After about ten minutes of this struggle, he'd gotten all the dough spread into 20 cookies across the tray. After that, he contently popped the wooden spoon into his mouth without shame. Man, this actually tasted great. He'd done a pretty good job.

“Not bad,” Fenris commented when he wandered back over to see how Hawke was doing. Some of them were a little uneven but even he had that sometimes when he baked. There was a bit of a mess on the counter but nothing they couldn’t just wipe up. “Let’s put them in.”

Fenris picked up the tray and popped it in the oven where the cake had been, then set the timer. He smiled, proud of their combined handiwork. Then turned his attention to the cake sat on the top. No doubt Adrian could smell it from the living room. He began gathering the icing and decorations to put on the top.

"When should the other people get here?" he asked, glancing back toward the living room as he grabbed a rag from the sink to wipe up his cookie mess. Thankfully he hadn't gotten any on his shirt. This was a brand new one and he'd hate to ruin it when he knew how much Fenris liked how he looked in it. Adrian looked up when he smelled the cake, making eye contact with Hawke who gestured for him to turn around and just keep on playing. He pouted, but obeyed, turning back to Sam and passing her a ball that was in his hands.

“In the next hour or two. I invited you early,” Fenris answered. He picked up the icing and began applying a smooth layer on the top of the cake. Once it was all evened out, he picked up the icing pens and paused. Then he glanced over at Hawke. “Would you…mind writing on it? Nobody can ever read my handwriting. Just ‘Happy 7th birthday Adrian’ will do.”

"Oh, yeah, sure, but I promise mine isn't the best either," he said as he took the pen, looking down at the cake and beginning to write. He tried to use the best penmanship as he had, but it looked okay at best. Not beautiful by any means but legible at the very least. "Ta-da!"

Fenris smiled at the writing on the cake. It was nothing fancy but he didn’t expect it to be. At least Adrian might be able to actually read it this time. He picked up some of the sprinkles and other assorted decorations. First, he applied some of the left-over chocolate chips around the outside and then handed Hawke some of the decorations.

“Doesn’t have to be in any specific place, just cover it in stuff,” Fenris directed him, setting down the chocolate chips and starting to cover the cake in sprinkles that stuck to the icing.

Hawke followed suit, but he did take a moment to put a little bit of sprinkles on Fen's head with a mischievous smirk.  "There, good enough to eat," he commented with a knowing smirk and a wink before turning back to the cake and finishing his work. It was admittedly satisfying to see the final product. Maybe he could actually bake his own cake sometime.

Fenris huffed, dusting the sprinkles out from his hair and some landing on his hand. He grabbed a couple between his fingers and put them in his mouth shamelessly. Making eye contact with Hawke, he then proceeded to slowly drag his fingers out from his lips, letting them go with a wet pop.

“I suppose we have time for more. We have enough for cupcakes and muffins. What do you like best?” he asked.

"Cupcakes, without a doubt," Hawke said proudly. He had to admit, he was a little more turned on than he should have been by that display of Fenris with his fingers in his mouth, but what could he do? He was a human man with desires and needs. "But if you keep doing that, we're definitely not gonna end up spending this time making cupcakes."

“Oh Hawke, think of the children,” Fenris chided with a playful lilt to his tone. Of course, the teasing had been fully intentional. Might as well give Hawke an idea of what he could have if he stuck around after the party. He started gathering and measuring the items needed for cupcakes, getting Hawke to do bits and pieces to help in order to speed up the process. “You and Sam are welcome to spend the night here, if you would like."

"How would your dad feel about that?" he asked with a little smirk. He knew the man wasn't fond of him after their last meeting, and he had a feeling that he wouldn't like him much after this party either. He gladly helped the cupcake process along, but he took it as a chance to sneak looks at Fenris's gorgeous profile in doing so. "I'm sure he feels pretty strongly about me ravaging his son. Or you ravaging me. But I'm pretty sure he thinks I've tainted your innocence or something."

“My dad thinks I didn’t have sex until I was 18 when I actually lost my virginity to one of Isabela’s friends in her parent’s house while they weren’t home when I was 15. In fact, he’s pretty sure I’ve only ever had sex twice in my life. Once when I lost my virginity and once when Adrian was conceived. And now you, obviously. He’s lived in denial about my ‘innocence’ my whole life,” Fenris told him, mixing together the ingredients. “Besides, he’ll go home after Adrian goes to bed.”

Hawke gaped at that, feeling suddenly a little insecure about his own sexual history.

"Damn, he should be concerned about you ruining my innocence," he forced a laugh, shaking his head. "I... admittedly didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. It was some girl I met at a party, the experience wasn't even that good, and I was really disappointed. Anyways, my dad threw this huge ass party for me. He got me a cake that said, 'Congratulations, you finally got laid!' It was the single most humiliating moment of my life. I've had sex... six or seven times in my entire life before you. Three of those were Merrill. So, there's that."

Fenris found himself surprised that Hawke’s experiences were limited. He was an attractive man, there was no reason women and men alike shouldn’t be throwing themselves at him. Although, he supposed Hawke was the type who wanted meaningful sex, rather than just for the fun.

“There were a handful of people I’ve slept with. Enough to count on one hand. Couple men, three girls including Isabela and her friend. But actual times ah…I don’t know. Isabela and I were…very active. She had an appetite and liked to experiment,” he said.

"Makes sense," Hawke shrugged. Isabela had that sort of... vibe. He had picked that up when they first met. "Merrill was a ‘special occasions only’ kind of girl. Sex wasn't really her thing, so I never really pushed it. I just let her initiate it whenever she felt like the moment was right. She's the one who made me feel like sex was supposed to mean something, and not just be about like.... messing around. In college, I fooled with all kinds of people, women and men alike, but actually taking the big step towards sex was a lot harder. I didn't actually go much past oral or foreplay."

“I understand,” Fenris replied, grabbing another tray for the cupcakes. He placed multi-coloured cupcake wrappers in the small dips in the tray before slowly pouring the mixture into each one. “I guess I’ve never really been in a _serious_ relationship. Even Isabela and I were not much more than friends with benefits.”

"So, I guess this is a first on several levels for both of us," Hawke cooed with a smile, sneaking up behind Fenris to wrap his arms around his waist and place a small kiss on the back of his neck. "I'm not really a serious person though, if you haven't noticed already."

“You’ve had as much sex with me as you had with Merrill, that seems crazy,” Fenris said, leaning back slightly into the embrace once he had poured out the mixture into every single cupcake wrapper in the tray. He smiled, turning the kiss the bottom of his jaw. “Not that it matters I suppose. So long as you’re enjoying it.”

"It is a little crazy, isn't it?" he laughed, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. "But, like I said, she didn't really like sex. For us it was all cuddling and kissing and not much beyond that. Not to say I didn't want it, of course, but I figured out how to deal with it for her sake. With you, well, obviously you like sex just as much as I do. I don't have to find crafty ways to deal with my manly urges."

“ _Manly urges huh_?” he asked with a snicker. “Isabela liked sex more than me, it could actually be pretty exhausting. She’d come over with Maker knows what sex toy she’d ordered online, wanting to try new things and test both of our boundaries.”

The oven beeped again, signalling that the cookies were done. Fenris planted a quick kiss on Hawke’s lips and wiggled out of his grasp to get the oven mitts and take them out the oven. He replaced them with the cupcakes soon after.

Hawke inhaled the smell of the cookies and smiled, they smelled absolutely delightful. He did a pretty good job, if he did say so himself.

"I've always heard about that kind of stuff but never tried it. It sounds... exhausting. I'm too old for that sort of thing, I think," he looked longingly at the cookies, wanting to steal one desperately but thinking better of it. "And, yes, _manly urges_ thank you very much. I have trouble thinking that the desire to fuck someone against the wall is entirely feminine. But I've never been a girl so I might be wrong."

“Isabela might like to disagree with you there. But you hear no complaints from me,” Fenris replied, he took off the oven mitts and placed them on the counter. He looked over at the cookies, they were still too hot to touch fresh out of the oven but from what he could see they looked pretty good. Not bad for Hawke. Adrian would be delighted at the array of baked goods. He had inherited his father’s sweet tooth after all. “The cookies look good, congratulations.”

"I know! I'm pretty proud of myself actually," he grinned, looking over his handiwork. He was becoming more excited for this party with every passing second, if only for the food, at the very least. At the most, for the 'sleepover' promised at the end of it, and Fenris's yet to be fulfilled promises. "Some of your greatness must have rubbed off on me. Also, what time is your dad getting here? You know, so I can hide?"

“He’s not so scary you know. He doesn’t want to completely behead you,” Fenris replied, rolling his eyes. His eyes roved over the cookies again and he noticed two that were a little smaller than the rest. Fenris picked one up and handed it to Hawke, then had the other for himself. “They’re not as even as the rest. Let’s put them out of their misery.”

"I like how you think," Hawke commented with a smile as he eagerly put the cookie in his mouth. Just as he did, he could hear the doorbell going off. That was either Fen's dad, or the other parents were finally starting to arrive. He shrank visibly at the thought of either, looking warily toward the door. He wasn't quite ready for this yet, and he knew it, but he would have to face it eventually. "You can get that, I'll take the cupcakes out when they're done. Don't worry."

Fenris hummed a note of approval as he stuffed the remains of the cookie crumbs in his mouth and headed for the door. He opened it to find Sebastian, arms full of gifts and a smile on his face.

“Good to see you Fenris,” Sebastian greeted. Fenris quickly swallowed down as much of the cookie as he could before he accidentally replied and sprayed mushy cookie all over his dad’s face. “How’s the birthday boy? Whatever you’re baking in the kitchen smells good.”

“He’s good, excited. Hawke and Sam are here so she’s keeping him distracted in the living room while we bake. We’re almost all finished though, just waiting for the cupcakes to be done so we can ice and decorate them,” Fenris replied, wiping a cookie crumb from the corner of his mouth with his thumb. He opened the door wide for Sebastian so he could walk inside and then carefully took the presents from his hands. “We’ll come join you in the living room soon. If you could get the door if any of the other kids or parents arrive, that’d be great.”

Sebastian made no effort to hide the slight sneer when he said Hawke’s name but said nothing about it. He nodded before he disappeared into the living room with a quick; “Of course.”

Fenris breathed a heavy sigh of relief and shut the front door with his foot. He carried the presents into the kitchen and set them down with the others.

Hawke heard them talking, it was impossible to miss Sebastian's accent. It was his identifying trade mark. The oven began to beep and Hawke hummed contently as he pulled the cupcakes out, setting them on the stove top to cool as he got the icing out.

"Cupcakes are done!" he called out, tossing the oven mitts back where he'd found them. He could hear Sam and Adrian cheer at the words, but as they ran towards the kitchen Hawke stopped them quickly, blocking off the door. "Nope. No kids in the kitchen.”

"Meanie," Sam stuck out her tongue and huffed, turning back with Adrian to go greet Sebastian as he entered the living room.

Fenris smiled, shaking his head. It was nice to see them so eager. He walked over to Hawke, looking over the cupcakes he had taken out of the oven and humming. They’d come out good as well. It was a good day for his baking.

“Help me ice them,” Fenris suggested, looking up at Hawke. He chose a colour and began to ice the tops of the cupcakes.

"Sure," he followed suit, icing the tops of them and laying them out with the rest. Once that was done, he dreaded looking out to the living room as Fenris began to head that direction to meet up with his father. He couldn't help but get flashbacks of the last time they saw each other, when he'd walked in on them at a pretty inopportune time. Sam and Adrian were building a fort across the carpet with Legos, it was pretty large at this point; almost two foot tall. They were discussing which of their dads should be the general of their military forces when they walked in, and immediately hushed up. Hawke sat beside Fenris on the couch, holding his hand in his lap.

"How’s the b-day going so far, Adrian?" he asked, reaching out to mess up his curls a bit and Sam swatted him away protectively, making him laugh.

“Good!” Adrian cheered from within the fort. “Dad let me have ice-cream for breakfast. Cookies and cream flavour too!”

Fenris chuckled. Birthdays only came once a year so he figured he would let him do what he liked within reason. Before any of them could continue the conversation, there was more knocking on the door. Fenris’s eyes glanced at his joined hands with Hawke, somewhat reluctant to get up and answer the door when they were happily nestled against one another. Sebastian noticed and pressed his lips firmly together.

“I’ll get it Fenris, don’t worry,” he said, standing up and guiding in some of the parents and their children.


	10. Birthday Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things settle down a little after the main events of Adrian's birthday and Hawke and Fenris spend a little more time being intimate. Fenris had a promise to make good on, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's at times like this i realise they bang a lot in this fic. hopefully y'all don't mind. 
> 
> anyway, enjoy! comments make us happy :D

It started to become a steady stream of people, letting them inside in 5 to 10 minute intervals. Adrian eventually parted from his Lego fort to see some of his classmates and bumble excitedly about his birthday.

Indeed, Hawke did recognize a few of these kids and they _definitely_ recognised Sam. One little boy seemed particularly puffed about it, stopping when he saw her and frowning, actively avoiding her and whispering things to his mother. Sam looked dejected when she noticed it, looking at her father for help. It was the first time Hawke had ever seen Sam look... genuinely hurt. Usually she just showed that through anger, but Adrian must have brought out a sensitive side in her. Hawke looked at Fenris and then back at Sam. 'Go talk to him,' he mouthed, gesturing to the other child. Sam looked like she had no idea what that even meant but she gathered her confidence and approached him.

"Hi," she stammered, and Hawke watched with awe. Who was this girl? Was this _... his daughter_? No way. "Uh, I'm.... sorry for being mean to you at school. I promise I won't do it anymore. Can we... be friends?"

Oh Maker. Hawke was going to burst into tears. The boy looked her over for a long moment, contemplating her offer.

"Okay. I... I guess I can forgive you," he replied finally, smiling. "If Adrian likes you, you must be okay."

Hawke put a hand over his mouth, choking back the sob he felt coming. "Fenris... Fenris, _I can't_."

Fenris wrapped his arm around Hawke, kissing his cheek and rubbing his hand against his back. He was happy for him; his daughter had encountered so many problems with other children and things were finally starting to look up. All the hardship Hawke had been through trying to raise her when he was such a gentle soul himself culminating into this. Who knew all she really needed was a friend who would give her a chance and become a good influence on her.

“She’ll let go of that reputation eventually and it’ll be okay. She’ll make friends,” Fenris said with a slight smile. “She’s a good kid Hawke, you’ve never done anything wrong raising her.”

"You're not helping," he whined, a few stray tears rolling down his cheek before he feverishly wiped them away. A few of the other parents had given Hawke half-hearted 'hello's and some seemed to stop and look twice when they saw his and Fenris's open displays of affection. As long as Fen didn't care, though, he didn't care. He was more concerned about the kids, watching them all make a complete mess out of the living room.

"Should we bring out the cake?" he asked, looking over at Fenris. It had been a few hours since the other parents arrived, now would be as good a time as any.

“I still need to put candles in it,” Fenris said, thinking about the cake in the kitchen. There should be a lighter in there somewhere too. “But yeah, now’s a good a time as any.”

He got up and walked into the kitchen, sticking in 7 candles in the cake and carefully dodging Hawke’s writing. It took some digging around drawers but he found a lighter and he carefully lit all of the candles. This was the exciting part, he thought as he brought the cake out into the living room. Adrian turned around from chatting with a classmate when he could smell the cake and his face lit up with joy.

“Come on birthday boy, make a wish,” Fenris called out to him and he came hurtling over as fast as his little legs could carry him. The crowd of parents and children erupted into song as Adrian bounced up and down on his heels. At the final verse, he blew out the candles as hard as he could until they were all out and the crowd cheered. “What did you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you that or it won’t come true!” Adrian protested, sticking his tongue out at Fenris who only chuckled and ruffled his hair. Fenris retrieved a knife and began cutting up the cake, giving everyone an evenly sized slice who wanted one. He took one for himself and Hawke, walking over to him and handing him it on a paper plate.

Hawke could see Sam smearing icing on Adrian's face from where he stood, chanting " _Birthday boy! Birthday boy!_ " over and over again as she laughed. It made his heart so happy to see her in such bliss. Her very first friend. Hawke turned back to Fenris and took the plate, getting himself a pretty nice sized bite of the cake and moaning at the rich taste. It was absolutely perfect, Fenris had the hands of a God.

"You're amazing," Hawke whispered, shaking his head as he took another bite. "Like, I cannot even describe just how amazing you are. There aren't words."

“You sound like you’ve never eaten cake in your life,” Fenris replied with a chuckle, taking a bite of his own slice of cake. Once he finished eating it, he realised he had no need for the hairband or apron and quickly removed them. He dusted off his shirt and ran his fingers through his hair since it had remained stuck back against his scalp from having the hairband on for so long. He rustled it until he went back to its usual position.

"This isn't just any cake, Fenris, it's _your_ cake, you don't understand," he shook his head and laughed. He watched him let his hair loose a little too closely. He probably would have started drooling if he hadn't caught himself. Somehow, his mind trailed off to ideas of having sex with Fenris in a shower and he knew he had to look away before things got out of hand. He was so addicted. That's the only word there was for it.

Sam came rushing into the kitchen after a few minutes, with Adrian in tow, grinning up at her father and tugging at his hand. "Hey, can Adrian open presents now? I want him to see what we got him!"

“Hmm yeah of course,” Fenris said, noting the way Adrian grinned. He turned to Hawke. “Give me a hand with these would you?”

The two of them picked up the piles of presents of which there were probably too many, and carried them into the living room where he could set them down on the coffee table and Adrian could easily access them. It was really heart-warming to see all these people coming around for Adrian, getting him gifts. Hawke had tried to wrap his as best as he could but he was never a man with steady hands.

“Which one is yours?” he asked Sam, looking through the neatly wrapped gifts.

Sam pointed at a box in colourful wrapping paper with doggy paw prints on it.

"That one!" Sam said with a grin on her face. "Open mine first!"

Adrian giggled, repeating a mantra of “Okay! Okay!” as he picked up the brightly coloured present. He was conscious of all the people gathered around watching him open his gifts and Fenris could tell. When he met his gaze, he gave him a reassuring smile and a nod. Then Adrian spared a glance at Sam, giving her a huge grin before he tore into the paper as quickly and roughly as he could until there were only tatters left on the floor.

Inside the box, there was a little furry robot dog. It was one of those ones with the leash that you could push the button and it walked and barked. Sam had remembered Adrian talking about wanting a pet. This was the closest thing they could get without requiring any actual responsibility. Sam held her arms above her head and cheered, "Ta-da!" she looked just like Hawke when she did it too and it made her father's heart swell with pride.

Adrian gasped loudly, studying the robot dog and petting it as if he was a real one. There were a variety of reasons why it was inconvenient for him to have a pet dog and it had always been disappointing. But this was close, the next best thing. _Plus_ , it didn’t require the _actual_ responsibilities of a pet. Adrian was sure he could handle it.

“I love it!” he exclaimed, hugging the dog and then thrusting it in the air towards Fenris. “Look dad!”

Fenris smiled and Adrian set the dog down reluctantly on the coffee table so he could draw Sam in for a big, warm hug. He squeezed her tight and giggled a “Thank you!”

"You're welcome," Sam giggled, squeezing him back even more tightly. She'd never felt this way for another kid before. She either felt neutral about someone or completely hated them. She never felt fond of any of her classmates, especially not protective, but for Adrian she knew she would definitely knock out some one's teeth if the time called for it. "I knew you'd love it. What are you going to name him? Make sure it's something really cool, because you can only name him once."

Hawke watched them and dramatically wiped a tear from his eye, though he definitely wasn't feigning it. There were totally tears there. He felt this sort of bond toward Adrian as he watched the boy hug his daughter, like Adrian wasn't just Sam's friend but another part of Hawke's family. He and Fenris were around so much that 'family' seemed to be the only real way to describe it. It made something new flutter in his stomach, the thought of Fenris and that kind of... domesticity. Would he be willing to wake up next to Fenris every morning? Well... after their first morning together, hell yes. Every morning for the rest of his Maker damned life, if need be.

"I wanted to get him a puppy, but I knew you'd kill me for it," Hawke whispered with a little smirk. "I figured this was good enough."

Fenris leaned against Hawke’s side, nestling his face against his shoulder. It was nice to see the two children getting along and for Adrian to find a friend he really liked. For it to be someone he could help too was yet another benefit. Adrian seemed to ponder about the name of the robot dog, taking it as a serious decision. Then he turned to Sam with a cheeky smile.

“I’m going to call him Sam,” he said proudly. “After you!”

"Really?" Sam looked stunned, like she could hardly even believe her ears but she grinned and pulled Adrian into her arms once more. "You're the best friend ever!"

As Adrian went through the rest of the presents, Hawke could see that this kid was clearly spoiled. No harm in that, he supposed. He was an only child after all. It took a couple hours before things settled down and people began filing out the door. By around seven, the only person from the party that was still here was Sebastian. At that point, Sam was knocked out cold. Hawke chuckled at her and he scooped her up with ease, carrying her cradle style. Today was too much fun for these kids, it seemed.

"Good job today, by the way," Hawke said, giving his boyfriend a smile and a kiss on the cheek. "Adrian's got one of the best dads out there, especially after a birthday like this."

“You flatter me,” Fenris replied, smiling a little. He helped the two children to bed, content with how tuckered out they both were from the day’s activities. By the time they arrived back downstairs, Sebastian was collecting his things. He said his goodbyes to Fenris, giving him a quick hug and a strained “Goodbye” to Hawke before he left. Fenris took a long, deep breath. Even he was a little worn out from all the fuss. He took Hawke’s hand and guided him into a living room, sitting down with him on the sofa and relaxing into the cushions.

Hawke felt a flood of comfort and relief settle over him as Sebastian left, and the kids were finally put to bed. It was nice to be alone again, even though this is the first time that he'd ever been alone with Fenris in his house, not Hawke's. He let Fenris settle in beside him, an arm wrapped around his waist and his cheek resting on top of his head. Today had definitely been.... a day. Not a bad one, by any means, but he was pretty worn out from it all. He felt like he was at home beside Fenris, though, which inherently made everything alright.

"I like your house," Hawke commented eventually, letting his eyes wander over the pictures on the wall. "It's cosy and minimalistic. I thought it would be intimidating because... you know... the size of it, but it's homey."

“I really don’t need this much space but it’s good for…guests? I suppose. I don’t really have many though,” Fenris replied, following Hawke’s gaze and huddling closer against him. He was so warm. Never mind his house being cosy, being in Hawke’s arms was much cosier. “My dad wanted to throw money at getting a good place. Maybe he thought I was going to get married to a nice girl and fill the place up with children. Guess we know how that worked out.”

"You could still fill it up with children, regardless of who you're with," Hawke said with a thoughtful hum, looking down to meet Fenris's gaze and run his thumb over his chin. "If that's what you wanted, anyway."

He couldn't help but think of himself in that role, briefly. Of being married to Fenris, filling this house with kids, and living happily ever after. Maker, why did Hawke have to be so freaking weird? Why couldn't his brain just take things one step at a time instead of being strangely turned on by domesticity? And, great, now he was thinking of morning Fenris again. Good going, Hawke.

“Taking care of Adrian as a baby when I was younger was hard enough without doing it again when I’m older,” Fenris commented. Right now, the only person in that sort of foreseeable future was Hawke. It was much too early in the relationship to even be considering such things. However, the idea that the two of them would likely either end up married with kids or break up was a scary one. “But it’s a nice thought, I guess.”

"Kids are definitely hard, that's true, especially on your own," Hawke agreed, looking away from him and letting his gaze wander off around the room again. "You did a good job though, all things considered. You have a lot here that you should be proud of."

And he meant it. He looked at Fenris and he saw pure determination, in his eyes and in his spirit. He was a person who didn't give up on things easily, and he protected those he loved with an iron fist. That was something Hawke could admire, even... _love_ about him.

“Thank you…” Fenris mumbled, unsure of why he was more embarrassed by that comment than any other he had ever received on his appearance. Perhaps it had something to do with the feeling of admiration of something deeper than his outer shell. He dragged his hand through Hawke’s beard and re-directed his attention back to him before leaning up to kiss him. While the kids were fast asleep, there was no fear of being caught making out again. It felt right, kissing him like this.

Hawke smiled, pulling Fenris closer to him. Every time they kissed he felt like he'd never been truly _connected_ with anyone in his life. When he was with Fenris, it was like he was the missing piece that he'd always needed to function at the very best he could be. He let one of his hands cup his cheek, fingers lacing through soft locks of snow white hair that were almost illegally beautiful to him. He didn't want to admit it yet, it was too early, but he was in love.

Fenris thought he had never enjoyed kissing as much as he did when he with Hawke. Was this what it meant to _truly_ care for the person on the other end of your lips? He did not hesitate to deepen the kiss, tasting the chocolate cake still faintly on his lips. After a moment, he shuffled to straddle his lap, now sitting comfortably on Hawke’s thighs as he wrapped his arms around his neck.

Hawke inhaled sharply at the change of positions, letting his fingers rest on the small of Fen's back just beneath his shirt. Fuck, he tasted so good, smelled even better. He still smelled like all the baked goods from this afternoon, and it was heavenly.

"I'll never get tired of this," he mumbled, taking a breather between kisses before capturing Fenris's lips again. And he meant it. He could kiss Fenris for next onto the decade and if there would be no consequences. Fenris's close body heat brought up a bubbling warmth in his chest that wrapped up his body like a constrictor snake. He couldn't fight it, and at this point he didn't want to.

It was strange to compare how natural kissing Hawke came to him now compared to how nervous he had been the first time, not counting the drunken mess he had been at the barbecue. Yet even though he was so familiar, like he could map out the insides of his mouth and each crack in his lips, each kiss left him just as breathless as the last. His hands found themselves gliding along his chest, feeling each ridge beneath his shirt.

“’m sorry. Are you tired?” Fenris said after reluctantly pulling away from his lips. “If it’s too much…”

"No, oh Maker no," Hawke chuckled, letting his thumb caress Fenris's side, his smooth skin. "I just meant like... you, I guess. It's really cheesy but I don't think I'll ever get tired of you."

He wore a lopsided smile and leaned in to kiss his neck, nestling his face into the space between his neck and shoulder. Fenris nodded, groaning a little at the fluttering kisses along his neck and squirming a little. He ran his fingers through dark locks of hair and then paused, drawing Hawke back to plant another kiss on his lips.

“I…believe I still have a promise to make good on,” he said slowly, meeting Hawke’s eyes. “If you’re still interested.”

Hawke bit his lip, looking Fenris over for a minute just to drink in the sight of him. The muscles beneath his shirt, his beautifully patterned skin... How could he get this lucky?

"Well, if _you're_ interested, I won't complain, I won't force you to, though," he hummed, planting a small kiss on his nose. "But fuck if I'm gonna stop you."

Just the idea of it was already turning him on, Fenris's lips around his cock, drool running down his chin. The image itself was too good to be legal. Fenris only chuckled, pulling him back for an open-mouthed kiss and sliding his hand down between them to squeeze his crotch. His lips curled at the feeling of him beginning to respond under his fingertips. Hawke was so well-endowed, he had his suspicions as to whether or not he’d actually be able to fit all of him in his mouth. He made quick work of his belt, yanking on his zipper and sliding his hand inside to make skin-to-skin contact.

Hawke gasped and gripped Fenris's sides more tightly, his head rolling back and bouncing lightly against the wall as he groaned. Thank the Maker that Adrian's bedroom was on the second floor, Hawke wasn't so sure how quiet he could be. Fenris's palms felt like warm velvet against him and it was maddening, he rolled his hips up against his touch and let his hands drift down to that ass of his, gripping with a notable possessiveness. He wasn't sure how he went his entire life without this. Had he ever truly been alive until this point? It certainly didn't feel like it.

Fenris relished in each gasp and moan, leaning up to kiss his neck and jaw. He nipped at the skin, fully intending to leave marks behind for all the ones he had left on show before. His hand tugged Hawke’s cock from the confines of his jeans and boxers, sliding along the length of it to coax him into full hardness. It was such a perfect size, too thick for his dainty hands but it only made his mouth water. He left a final kiss to his neck and shuffled down to the floor and pushed Hawke’s legs further apart so he could sit between them.

Hawke could feel himself straining at the loss of the contact, a weak grumble escaping his lips as he longed desperately for a return of the touch. But as Fenris fell to the floor, his heart leaped when he remembered that Fenris had actually intended _to go through with this_. He licked his lips and sat up a bit so he could get a better look at the other man's face, bold green eyes meeting his own. His expression alone was a subtle plea, cheeks flushed red and eyes blown wide with lust.

"Fenris—" he started. He wanted to say something sexy or something clever but he was at a complete loss for words.

He shushed him, sliding his hands along the insides of his thighs before edging closer. A smirk graced his lips before he ran his tongue along the length of Hawke’s shaft. Once he reached the tip, he planted a wet kiss on the head and pushed his shirt up a little with his hand. After a couple, more swipes of the tongue, he engulfed the head in his mouth and began descending to take in as much of him as he could. He did everything in his power to try and relax his body. He couldn’t help but glance upwards to see Hawke’s face with lidded eyes.

"Sh-shit, fuck," Hawke's back arched into the contact, it took all of the power that he had left in him not to just thrust up into the wet heat of Fenris's mouth. Normally he would think it wasn't that easy to make him come undone. He supposed when he was putting his attentions on Fenris, touching him, fucking him, it was a little different than this. Here, Fenris was entirely in control and Hawke could do naught but watch it happen. He let a shaky hand tangle itself in Fenris's hair, trying to keep him from pulling away.

Fenris knew he could push himself a little further, he was so close to taking him all in. Hawke’s encouragement with the hand in his hair and the curses coming from his lips was enough to make that final shove. He managed to relax his throat enough to take him in, almost surprised at his own ability once he found himself at the hair at the base of his cock. Hawke was so hot and heavy on his tongue, the salty taste of precome dripping down his throat. His hands wandered up to skirt along his balls and fondle them as he fell into a rhythm working his mouth on the entire shaft.

Did he just... No way, he couldn't have, but he just—.... oh, _Maker_ he just _did_. Hawke groaned loudly as his cock had fit perfectly down Fenris's throat, and he couldn't help but roll his hips up into the motions to increase the friction. It was so good, and he knew Fenris could probably feel his hands shaking. Shit. He wouldn't last long like this. Did Fenris want him to come? He had no idea. He wasn't in college anymore, could he go more than once? He didn't know. He'd never thought about it until now but he just knew that he didn't want this to be over. Fenris took him so perfectly and so beautifully, green eyes gone dark with the same carnal hunger that Hawke felt.

"Fuck, Fenris, this is so good," he mumbled, hardly able to manage the words. "I... shit... I dunno how long I can—”

He gasped at another stroke of the other man's tongue, shoulder's tightening as he stifled a moan. Fenris had no intention of stopping. He wanted to feel Hawke come like this, under his touch and because of his mouth. The man was already trembling he could feel it, and judging by the pulsing of his cock on his tongue and the moans he was releasing, he could tell he was close. He wanted to taste him, let him finish in his mouth. Hawke brought out a sultry side of him he hadn’t acknowledged before. Had he always been this…this…slutty? It didn’t matter, not when a careful swipe of the tongue was drawing him over the edge.

Hawke grit his teeth, grabbing Fenris's hair a bit more tightly than he intended and rolling himself upward again, forcing more of himself down Fenris's throat and it was too much for his senses to handle. He came with a broken groan, entire body tensing like a bow string pulled tight and then unwinding again as he could feel himself release into Fenris's mouth. He felt a little bad, but he did warn him, or he tried to, at least. It was obviously way too late to turn back now.

"Holy... wow," he slumped back against the couch and let his arms fall to his sides, tingling with the aftermath of his orgasm. " _Fuck._ "

No matter how much he had prepared himself for the rush of thick liquid down his throat, it still caught him a little off-guard. But he swallowed it down as best he could, releasing Hawke’s spent cock with a wet pop and smirking up at him as he wiped some of the excess from the corner of his lip with his thumb.

“Good I take it?” he said, licking his lips.

"Oh Maker, yes," he breathed with a light chuckle, smiling with hooded eyes. He caressed his lover's cheeks and pushed his hair out of his forehead, admiring the three little white spots there, hidden by his bangs. It was absolutely adorable. "C'mere, let me take care of you. We aren't quite done here yet."

He leaned down to wrap his arms around Fenris and lift him back onto the couch with him, setting him on his lap.

“You don’t have to but I’m hardly going to say no,” Fenris said, resting his hands on Hawke’s shoulders. He wondered what Hawke intended to do, how he was going to get him off. He’d take a simple handjob, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he had something more creative in mind. Regardless, he was glad that he’d enjoyed himself. In truth, it had been fun for him as well to have that sort of control and to feel him tremble underneath him.

"Good," He hummed contently, gently biting at his boyfriend's neck as he shuffled his pants and boxers off, admiring how he'd already become fully erect just by sucking Hawke off. It was... admittedly pretty hot. He pulled away for a moment, popping a few of his fingers into his mouth to slick them up as much as he could before slipping one gently into his ass. It was a quick improvising considering he had no clue where they'd find lube right about now, besides, he was just getting Fenris off anyways. That's what mattered above all else. Taking advantage of his one free hand, he cupped Fenris's balls and ran his thumb up the base of his shaft, straying over the tip before coming back down again. He was so soft, warm, wet— if he were still in his college years, he definitely would've gotten hard again just because of that.

Fenris gasped, fingers digging into the material of Hawke’s shirt. He couldn’t hold his head up as tremors passed through his body, so he leaned his forehead against Hawke’s. The penetration had been unexpected to say the least. A single finger with no lubricant was fine, just enough to ignite his nerves. He was conflicted between rocking back onto the digit and jerking forwards into the fist that was forming around his cock.

Hawke chuckled at the reaction, feeling that dominant confidence return to him again as he watched the other man come undone by his motions. This, now this was where Hawke was proficient.

"Good?" he murmured in his ear, giving his balls a formidable squeeze as he allowed his finger deeper, finding that familiar place deep within the other man, one that he knew would have him seeing stars.

“Fuck, Hawke!” he rasped, almost collapsing entirely onto him as he pushed his finger against his sweet spot. His cock throbbed in Hawke’s hand, responding desperately to the stimulation. Fenris had enjoyed anal play for as long as he could remember experimenting with it, but Hawke seemed to push him to limits he didn’t know he had. He could recall the way he had come solely from his cock on their date at Hawke’s house and how breathless the orgasm had left him. Even now, the finger inside him was driving him crazy. Combined with his hand in the front, it was almost too much. “Yes. Good, yes.”

 _Maker, I hope the kids didn't hear that,_ he thought, panicking briefly for a moment and checking the stairs behind him. When he didn't see any movement, he dared to try a second finger to see how Fen would take it. He was slow, gentle, giving special attention to his cock to distract him from any pain the second finger might be causing him. He loved hearing Fenris call out his name like that, more than anything in the world. Fuck, if he could just hear it one more time...

As the tip of a second finger pressed against his entrance, Fenris braced himself for discomfort. But it…didn’t come. There was a slight burn as it pushed in alongside the first, Hawke definitely did _not_ have small fingers but his body seemed to adapt to it quickly. Perhaps it was because he was more focused on the new attention he was giving his cock. He worried he might have been a little loud in his gasps and found himself biting on his bottom lip to stop himself from being too vocal. Hawke seemed to get the hint that it felt good already, right?

Hawke watched his face for any signs of pain and when Fenris nodded for him to continue, he did, thrusting the fingers in and out of him at a new pace, determined to go deeper with each motion. Just to add more stimulation, he rolled his hips up against Fenris's thighs, grinding his pelvis up against his ass and continuing to spoil his cock. Every twitch, every concealed moan, it gave Hawke a new determined energy that kept his hands going, whispering lewd things in the other man's ear about how much Hawke loved making him squirm like this, how he loved the feel of his tight ass around his fingers.

At this point, Fenris was half-tempted to throw caution to the wind, spread his legs wide and beg Hawke to fuck him but fear of rupturing something internal outweighed it. He was growing dangerously close to the edge, rolling back onto Hawke’s fingers and following with a thrust into his fist. During times like these, it was almost like Hawke was a whole new person. For a man who was so emotionally sensitive and cautious in relationships, he came out with a surprising amount of dominant confidence when he was touching him.

Hawke was starting to feel the same, frustrated that there was no lube or anything around because he would give anything to do _just that_. In that moment, he realized that all of this had made him hard again, and he groaned. What sort of powerful magic did Fenris possess that pulled this sort of thing out of him? He didn't know, but he definitely appreciated it.

"Are you... do you not have any— any shit for this, like, anywhere?" he asked, looking Fenris in the eyes as he slowed his pace a bit. "I want to... but... I don't want to hurt you."

 “Only…upstairs, my nightstand drawer—Wait. Wait. No…there’s…fuck…there’s some in the downstairs bathroom. Cupboard has a…mirror on it,” it was hard for Fenris to talk while Hawke was still touching him. Even if he slowed down, it was still overwhelming. “It’s…not far, around the corner from the kitchen. No…No condoms your size though. But I don’t care about that right now.”

"Cupboard with... the mirror on it, got it," Hawke slowly pulled his fingers out and stood, letting Fenris slide off of him and onto the couch as he sloppily held up his pants with one hand, erection still showing easily from behind the fabric. "Wait there, I'll be right back, don't move." He shuffled through said cupboard, unintentionally making a bit of a mess but his lower head had already taken over at this point. Once he'd salvaged his prize, he'd returned to the living room and let his pants fall graciously to the ground.

He joined Fenris back on the couch, putting a good amount of lubricant in his palm and lathering himself.

"I'm not going to last very long," he warned, looking up to meet his boyfriend's eyes. "but _... Fuck_ , I want... I _need_ to—"

“You think _I_ will?” Fenris asked with a laugh, sprawled back against the couch and spreading his legs wide. He had been so very close to climax when Hawke had been fingerfucking him so he wasn’t sure how long he would last at all. There was a good chance Hawke might thrust once against his prostate and it’d be all over. Regardless, he leaned back, one hand holding the base of his cock and his hips tilted up in offering. “What are you waiting for?”

Hawke climbed on top of him without hesitation at that comment, looming above Fenris as he brought the man's legs up around his waist, cock positioned at his entrance. He wanted to answer that with something clever, witty, maybe sexy, but he just didn't have the mind for it. Instead, he thrust himself inside, not hesitating to go all the way to the hilt. He trembled at the tight heat that began to surround him, perfect in every way he could possibly imagine. He waited a bit impatiently for Fenris to adjust, but once he saw that relaxation of muscles in the other man's shoulders, he didn't hesitate to start fucking him down into that couch with all of the last energy that he had. He could feel it creaking beneath him with each harsh thrust but he didn't care. It felt _so fucking good_.

"You like this, Fenris?" he whispered with a thick, ragged breath, nipping at his ear lobe as hips rolled back inside of him again, earning another groan from the couch. "Damn it, if I could, I'd probably fuck you on every piece of furniture in this house."

He meant it too, as wrong as it should have been to say. Fenris pulled this sort of drive out of him, this carnal desire that couldn't be sated, and so far... he hadn't really seemed to mind.

Fenris had to slap his hand over his mouth for fear of waking the children upstairs. There had been a shoot of pain up his spine as Hawke roughly entered him and he couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was just sign that he was getting older. Regardless, it quickly subsided with the pleasure and haziness of his impending orgasm. Muffled moans and whimpers slipped out from between the cracks in his fingers, other hand desperately clinging to Hawke’s arm. He had half a mind to let Hawke fuck him on every piece of furniture in his house, especially if it felt _this_ good.

“Fuck yes,” he breathed, rolling his hips back into Hawke’s harsh thrusts. He enjoyed this side of Hawke, the dominance in his tone combined with the strength behind his movements. He was sure he was going to be feeling this encounter for days.

That deep grumble of his boyfriend's voice was enough for him, Hawke was quickly approaching his limit, but he still felt determined to get the other man off first if he still could. This _was_ for all Fenris to get off, of course. That was the original intent. The fact that he'd lasted this long already? A miracle. Hawke angled himself to hit Fenris's prostate with the next thrust, and let his free hand move to cup his lover's balls, giving them an encouraging squeeze as he thrust against that sensitive place again. He was so close to losing it now that it was almost painful, it must've been clear in his eyes and the heat rising from his cheeks. His thrusts had even become messy, out of rhythm, but he wasn't quitting just yet.

It all came in a rush, a few hard thrusts to his sweet spot and he found it hard to silence himself. With a muffled cry of Hawke’s name, Fenris reached his peak. He tightened around Hawke’s cock and spilt white over his stomach and a little on Hawke’s hand. After, he took a deep shaky breath, slowly removing his hand from his mouth and falling limp back onto the couch with exhaustion.  Hawke was soon to follow, squeezing him encouragingly as he rode out the last of his thrusts.

Hawke didn't hesitate to come inside of him, for fear of ruining the couch, and he felt his shoulders slump from a complete and utter lack of energy. I came twice, he thought, hardly able to believe it. _Twice!_ He smiled, not hesitating to clean his hand of semen just by licking it right off. Fenris tasted amazing, no surprise there. It was different than the rest of him, but still him all the same.

"You're an incubus," he accused lightly with a laugh, dipping in to press light kisses up his jawline. "That's the only explanation for this."

Fenris chuckled, running hands up Hawke’s jaw to cup his cheeks and draw him in for a long, deep kiss. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had this much sex in such a short period time. And for Hawke, he was sure he was making up at least half of every experience he’d ever had at this rate. It didn’t seem like it was going to stop any time soon enough.

“I don’t know, if I were I have a feeling I’d be much less tired right now,” he said. It wasn’t _that_ late but he felt like he could probably fall asleep right now. Orgasms usually did that to you, however. As comfy as he was, he realised he should probably show Hawke upstairs to the bedroom so he could clean up and get ready for bed. “Hmm. Come on.”

He hesitantly wiggled out of Hawke’s grasp and grabbed his discarded clothing to throw back on. He knew these boxers would be ruined and also that he must be giving Hawke quite the sight as he bent down to slip them on.

Hawke was always one to appreciate the finer things in life, or so he liked to think. Fenris's ass included. He paused a moment to appreciate it before he pulled his own clothes back on, stretching and popping his back in doing so. It felt good, but his muscles felt like jelly and he was surprised that he could stand. He was so exhausted, he'd likely pass out as soon as he hit a bed.

"Lead the way," he cooed, wearing a lazy smile and wrapping his arms around Fenris's waist, nuzzling his hair for a moment just to appreciate the feel of it.

Fenris hummed, enjoying the attention but knowing he had to move if he didn’t want to pass out with dried semen between his legs on the couch. He took Hawke’s hand and guided him up the stairs and opened the door to his bedroom.

“Make yourself at home,” he said. The room was spacious, like most other places in the house, with a king-sized bed in the middle. Much like the living room, there were photographs plastered all over the walls and surfaces. Other than that, it was fairly empty except for a closet, the nightstand, and a television in the corner on a stand. “I’m going to clean up. I’ll meet you in bed.”

He kissed Hawke’s cheeks and disappeared into the en-suite bathroom, taking his clothes off on the way.

Hawke took a moment to observe it as he collapsed onto the bed, trying to get a good look at the pictures in the poor lighting. This room was almost twice the size of his own and yet he felt... content. He didn't feel overwhelmed or intimidated by it as much as he felt, well, at _home_. He yawned, listening to the sound of running water as Fenris cleaned up and he tugged his shirt off again. He never slept with a shirt. It made him feel contained, for some strange reason. Trapped. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the time. His lock screen was a picture of Sam and Adrian from the waterpark, coming back from one of the slides, laughing and racing each other back to the line. It made his heart swell just looking at it. _Best friend_ , Adrian had called Sam. He couldn't stop thinking about it. His whole world had been shifted onto a new axis because of this friendship that Sam had developed, and he wouldn't change any of it for the world.

After cleaning up and drying off, Fenris re-entered the bedroom in only the shirt he had taken from Hawke’s home. It didn’t take him long to clamber onto the bed, laying back exhausted. He had been tired from the day’s activities even before Hawke had fucked him until he couldn’t see straight. There was a dull ache in his lower back from the strenuous activity, but he had no complaints.

“’s been a good day,” he mumbled, curling up against Hawke’s side.

"Yeah," Hawke turned to wrap his arms around the other man, pressing a kiss to his forehead and gently caressing his cheek. _I love you_ , he thought, and he could feel it; swelling deep in his stupid, hopeless romantic heart in the same way that he felt the rhythm of the other man's breathing while he held him in his arms. It made his ears ring just thinking about it, acknowledging it instead of suppressing it. These past few weeks had made the damn thing stronger, though, and it was becoming a nuisance. It was ruining the pace Fenris had wanted them to set. It was too early for Hawke to be in love. But.... fuck. He _was_.

Fenris smiled slightly, nuzzling into the affection. Everything just felt… _right_. Like he was supposed to be here in this bed in Hawke’s arms. He could feel Hawke’s heart racing when he leaned his face against his chest, it was exciting to know that Hawke still got a rush from being curled up with him. He found himself thinking that he wouldn’t mind staying like this, living the rest of his life like this. There was still much uncertainty in the future however.

“Goodnight Hawke,” he said, letting his eyes flutter shut and his breathing slow as he began to fall asleep.

"Night," he mumbled, watching Fenris closely as he fell asleep. Earlier, he was very ready to pass out. Now? He wasn't even close. So, he just settled with watching Fenris sleep until his own tiredness returned, curling a lock of his soft white hair around his finger.

When morning came, it was almost unwelcome. He didn't know when he'd fallen asleep, but he woke up in the same position he'd been lying in when Fenris joined him in the bed. The daylight creeped in through the windows and it stung his eyes. He groaned and pulled the blankets over his face, shielding himself from the evil morning. His body was too sore for this. Where was the damn snooze button?

The movement awoke Fenris’s senses, grunting as his eyes began to flutter open. He fumbled around for his phone on the nightstand and picked it up to check the time. What day was it? Adrian’s birthday had been Sunday which means today was…Shit! The kids! School! He had a good five minutes before they have to leave. Adrian was responsible, there was a good chance he woke up and grabbed himself some leftover baked goods for breakfast. He would’ve dragged Sam with him too.

“Fuuuuck,” he groaned, then glanced over to look at Hawke who was hiding beneath the covers. “Hawke, we gotta go.”

As much as he would’ve liked to lay in bed for the rest of the morning, cuddled up in Hawke’s arms relaxing, he had _responsibilities_ as a parent. He threw himself out of bed, rubbing his eyes and reaching around to find some clothes he could put on.

"Ughhhhh..." was Hawke's only response, still stiff in his place in the bed. When Fenris left his side, however, it gave him a bit more of an awakening and he shifted, slowly rising and rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm. _Of course_ , it would be a school day. That was just his luck. He threw his legs over the side and mulled around for his shirt on the floor, tugging it on with a huff. "Too early for this," he complained, stretching and popping some of the joints in his shoulders.

 “I know,” Fenris groaned back, shoving on his shoes. He leant over and gave Hawke a quick kiss on the lips before he started hurrying down the stairs. Adrian and Sam sat on the couch with the television on, seemingly ready to go. He couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed of himself, children sitting on the couch where he and Hawke had…Never mind. “Hey, are you guys ready to go?”

“Sam’s bag is at her house,” Adrian commented, looking over at Fenris. Ah. Yeah. Of course. They hadn’t exactly planned for this “sleepover” to happen. Fenris ran his fingers through his hair.

“Sam’s dad will drop it off at school soon,” Fenris assured them and Adrian nodded. Fenris walked over to Adrian and dropped some money in his hand for his lunch.

"That's okay! Tell him I don't need it," she said with a smile. Her hair was... a complete mess. That was the first thing Hawke noticed when he came downstairs. He sighed as he looked at her, running his fingers through his hair in dismay. She waved when she saw her father come down the steps, smile never fading. "Hey, dad!"

"Sam, c'mere," he was way too tired to function at this present moment, but he knew his daughter couldn't go to school like that. She huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Dad—"

"Samantha."

"Fine, whatever," she caved, leaving the couch and Adrian to go stand before her father, arms crossed over her chest as she turned around. She knew the morning drill, even if they were at Fenris's house this time.

"That's my girl," Hawke cooed with a smile, taking a small tie from his pocket (he always had a few on him for this purpose) and plaited her hair back away from her face. It wasn't his neatest job but it was something. It would have to do for today, anyways. He looked back up at Fenris, one hand resting on his daughter's shoulder. "Soo... are you driving or am I driving?"

“I’ll drive. There’s enough room in my car,” Fenris said, wandering over to the front door with the children and Hawke in tow. He picked up his car keys from a little basket next to the door and unlocked the front door. As a joint effort, they helped the two children into the back of the car as fast as they could before getting in the front and starting up the car. Fenris was still adjusting to his surroundings but he seemed more awake than Hawke looked at least.

Hawke settled into the passenger seat, slowly coming back to himself as they pulled out of the drive way and headed towards the school. It wasn't far from Fenris's house, a few blocks or so. He wondered briefly if they could get breakfast while they were out, after the kids were at school, use it as an excuse for another date.

When they arrived, that familiar principal, Danarius, was standing out front in his usual place. Hands folded neatly behind him, watching over the children like a vulture watched a pack of starving antelope, as if he was waiting for one of them to split off from the group or linger behind; earning him a chance to strike. He seemed to look up when he saw Fenris's car, and it made Hawke shudder.

"Bye dad! Thanks, Fenris," Sam cooed as she climbed out. She skipped around to the passenger window to reach for her father and Hawke happily leaned down to kiss her forehead. Normally she wasn't that affectionate, but he definitely wasn't about to complain.

"Love you, baby girl. Don't drag Adrian into any trouble, okay?"

"I won't," she assured him with a grin, skipping off toward the door. She didn't stop when she passed Danarius, but Hawke could have sworn that he saw her stick out her tongue at him.

In this moment, Hawke also noticed that Danarius was definitely glaring. Not at Sam, but right at him. He looked at him as though he were the physical embodiment of all human evil and sin, and it made his skin crawl. Why didn't Fenris notice shit like this? He was definitely Dracula. Or... something like that. He wasn't normal, that's for sure. He _couldn't_ be.

Fenris gave Adrian a hug as the boy happily skipped off to school. He couldn’t believe they’d actually made it in time. Fenris stretched his arms up into the air, a much needed one after stiffening up during the night. When he turned around to look at Hawke, the man looked concerned so he followed his gaze over to Danarius who was looking his way. He shook it off though, thinking nothing of it and getting back into the car with Hawke.

“You want to get breakfast?” he asked. Hawke looked back over to him and smiled, relaxing a bit.

"Yeah, sure, I'd like that," he hummed with a smile. He found it hard to believe that they'd made it in time as well, if he were allowed he would have likely slept all morning. Breakfast and some coffee would likely make him feel a lot better, especially with Fenris. Maybe that way he could stop thinking about that look on creepy Danarius's face.

“Any place in mind?” Fenris asked, strapping himself in and starting up the car. He couldn’t quite tell what he was hungry for, but he did know he needed a good hot coffee at some point to wake him up for the rest of the day. He looked over at Hawke to watch for an answer, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Hmm, maybe that coffee shop we both go to? A Danish sounds really good right about now," he offered, scratching absently at his beard. He remembered the first time they'd seen each other there, when he'd wrongly assumed that Fenris was on a date with Isabela. That day certainly wasn't his proudest day, for sure.

The mention of the coffee shop brought Fenris back to his last meeting outside of work with Isabela as well. He had noticed the way Hawke bristled at her presence but that was unsurprising. He and Isabela may be no longer involved but that didn’t stop her from being flirtatious. In fact, he was almost shocked she didn’t outright flirt with Hawke. Then again, she seemed to be more interested in playing wingman than embarrassing the poor guy.

“Sounds good. I heard they do good omelette in the morning. I think we’ll make it,” he said, starting to drive in the direction of the coffee shop.


	11. An Important Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months have passed and Hawke decides it's finally time to get some feelings in order and ask Fenris an important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaa here we go again!! a lot of big stuff happens for such a short chapter tbh
> 
> anyway, i hope you all enjoy and as always comments make us super happy <3

Six months came and went a lot faster than Hawke thought it would. It was hard to believe that not so long ago, he was taking Fenris's ear off in a coffee shop trying to earn his forgiveness after Hawke's child punched his child in the face. Now, they were at each other's houses constantly. Their kids had basically adopted each other as siblings while Fenris and Hawke well... they were practically tied at the hip at this point. They would make dinner together sometimes, sleep overs had become extremely common, and the kids seemed to love it. Hawke did too, more than he ever thought he would.

They were going on another date tonight, as they usually did on Saturdays, but Hawke had... some pretty big plans, actually. He'd been making arrangements over the past months to clean out the extra room in his house and create as much new space as he could. Sam had noticed it, and she knew what was up, but thankfully she'd kept quiet. He was planning to ask Fenris to move in with him today, so he'd done everything he could to make this date as romantic as possible.

Soon, Fenris was to arrive with Adrian, and he would be staying at Hawke's for the night. Hawke had told Anders about this plan and he happily agreed to watch the kids. Strange, considering Anders had been notably bitter about Fenris and Hawke's relationship from day one. Currently, Hawke was still trying to get the collar of his shirt to stay folded the way it was supposed to. He always fussed over his appearance more than he should have. Anders was in the living room with Sam, working on his 'manifesto', ugh.

Hawke came out of the bathroom finally, running his fingers through his hair again and huffing. "Is he here yet?"

"No, prince charming, relax," Anders hummed, twirling a pen between his fingers. "And stop fussing over that collar. You look just as good as you always do." Hawke could have sworn he heard Anders mutter something along the lines of "What a waste," under his breath, but he decided to ignore it for the time being.

Date night had become second nature to Fenris. It was just… _a thing_ he and Hawke did now, every week. To think it’d been six whole months. He couldn’t imagine life without Hawke and neither could Adrian, he figured. The man was practically a second father to the boy and he would feel horrifically bad if he ever had to let go. Hopefully, that wouldn’t be the case. Things had run smoothly for six months. That was more than any previous relationship he’d ever been in.

Dressed in a button-up shirt and black skinny jeans, he’d made himself presentable since it was still technically a date. Adrian held tightly onto his hand, smiling at the thought of spending more time with his friend. It was nice to stay at Hawke’s place, he liked the animals on the farm. However, he much preferred when Sebastian looked after them rather than Anders. Adrian was about as fond of the man as Sam, which wasn’t much at all.

Once they arrived at Hawke’s door, Fenris knocked politely before walking straight in. The knocking was just a formality at this point, just to let Hawke know he was here.

Hawke had moved back to the empty room again, making sure it looked its best. It was the same size as Adrian's room. They used to use it for Burger, but Burger had an entire yard and a barn. Adrian would make much better use of it. Hopefully. If Fenris said yes. He heard Sam complaining about Adrian not being here and someone rooting around his fridge.

"Hawke, can you come here a second?" Anders called. Hawke reluctantly went to the kitchen, hands in his pockets. He was bit too distracted by it to hear Fenris's car pull onto the driveway.

"What?" he asked, leaning an elbow on the counter.

"Oh, just wanted to see your face again, I missed it," He cooed, cupping the man's cheek and stroking it with his thumb just as the knock came rasping on the door and Fenris walked in. "Well, there are more things about you that I miss too, but—"

Hawke pulled away from him when the door opened, the biggest smile breaking across his face when he saw Fenris.

"Fenris!" he exclaimed happily like a dog whose owner just returned from work. "Hey, there, big guy!"

Hawke scooped Adrian into his arms, hoisting him into the air and giving him a bear hug. Adrian squealed and giggled in Hawke’s hold, happy to see him again. Fenris smiled upon seeing the two of them, glad to see them so comfortable around each other. He had no doubts that Hawke thought of him like his own son and he was beginning to think that maybe Adrian _needed_ a second parent. Not to say he hadn’t raised him fine on his own, but Hawke seemed much better suited for children and Adrian responded to that. Sam was also in the room in an instant, bouncing for joy.

“Hawke. Sam,” he greeted, nodding to both of them in turn. Behind Hawke, he could see Anders stood with his arms folded and a scowl on his face. He had always had his suspicions about him. Of course, he relied on the fact that Hawke trusted him with his children but if it weren’t for him he’d rather he stayed away. That and he never liked the way he looked at Hawke.

"Hi Fen," Sam chirped, before looking up at Adrian. "Dad! Let him down! You'll suffocate him!"

Hawke sighed happily and set Adrian down, allowing him to run off into the living room with Sam where they could begin to play. He approached Fenris and pulled him into his arms for a quick kiss on the lips, smiling at him with this fond twinkle to his eyes.

"You look great," He murmured, pushing some hair out of his face. "Well, that's not unusual, but you know. I have to go get a few things and then we'll be good to go, alright?"

He turned back down the hall way to get his keys, but Anders stopped him. He wasn't so far from the door that Fenris couldn't her him. They were in plain sight, about six or seven feet away. It was just like... Anders didn't care that Fenris was standing there. At all.

"Hawke, take care of yourself out there, alright?" he said with a wink, a hand on Hawke's collar beginning to flatten out to feel up his firm upper chest with a short sigh. "Call me if you need anything at all. Don't wanna see Sam's face if I have to tell her that her handsome father got into some more car trouble and couldn't make it home."

Hawke cringed, stiffening at the touch and stepping away. He cleared his throat, giving Anders a curt nod in reply.

"Yep, got it. I... think I'll be fine though. I mean, it's a rental car," he shrugged, ducking back down the hallway to get his keys like a monster was after him.

Fenris noticed, watching the two of them interact and frowned. How dare he? He _knew_ Hawke was a taken man and to outright flirt with him so shamelessly right in front of him? Who did he think he was? Fenris’s fists tightened by his side, nails digging into his palms and his nostrils flared. He waited for Hawke to walk over to him, clearly slightly disorientated from the affection of the other man. As soon as he met him in the doorway, he grabbed the collar that Anders had touched and yanked him down into a bruising open-mouthed kiss. It was a petty display of dominance. He didn’t care how obscene it was, he wanted Anders to know exactly who Hawke belonged to and to rub it in.

Hawke was a bit taken aback by Fenris's actions, but it wasn't like he was going to _complain_. He let his hands slip up to cup Fenris's cheeks, returning the kiss briefly before pulling away. His cheeks were flushed dark red, and he was oblivious as to what sort of rivalry-dominance match was going on between Fenris and Anders as he righted himself, jingling his keys. He let a hand linger on his face for a moment before taking his hand in his own instead, turning to Anders and waving goodbye.

"Call me if anything goes wrong," he said, before ducking out the door and closing it behind him before anything else could happen. "I am so sorry about that," Hawke shook his head, looking off toward the car with an expression of disdain. "I thought everything was going to be cool. I didn't know he'd... do that," he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Can we... just forget about it... and have a really good night? A nice romantic evening, you and me, at an undisclosed location?"

“And have you all to myself? You _spoil_ me Hawke,” Fenris replied, a smirk reaching his face. It seemed to get the message across to Anders or at least he hoped. Hawke was quick to dismiss it and get out of the situation, he noticed. But he shook the thought from his head and took Hawke’s hand to walk over to the car so they could enjoy the rest of their evening alone.

"I try my hardest," he hummed with a smile, leading Fenris into the car. Once they were settled, Hawke reached across the passenger seat to shuffle around in the glove box. As his boyfriend took his seat, he held out a small red sash to him with an awkward grin. "I know this is... weird... but I'm gonna need you to put this on. I don't want you peeking. Not even during the drive."

Fenris looked down at the sash and raised his eyebrows. Something secret then. Hawke hadn’t specified the details of their date this time. He carefully placed the sash over his eyes and tied it tight behind his head. Now he was submerged in total darkness until Hawke told him he could take it off and that would likely be when they arrived.

“I can’t see a thing I promise,” he said.

"Good," Hawke responded with a giddy laugh. The drive to their destination wasn't a long one, but Hawke was ecstatic every second of the way. Internally, he was _praying_ that Varric came through for him. If this was messed up, this whole night would be a complete and total failure.

When he parked in the lot not far from the Wounded Coast shoreline, he was happy to see the area completely deserted. His spot that he'd chosen in the sand, just out of the reach of the tide, was set up exactly as he'd asked. A big red picnic blanket, a bottle of wine set off in some ice, and a picnic basket. As well as that, there were little candles set up in random spots in the sand, twinkling like stars fallen to earth. His heart was pounding in his chest, it was _perfect_.

"Alright, don't take it off yet, just follow me, alright?" Hawke cooed as he helped Fenris out of the car, taking his hand and walking him down into the sand. He stopped when they were just a few feet before the blanket scene laid out before them, and he snuck behind Fenris to unfold the blindfold, pulling a small rose from the inside of his shirt. "Okay, go ahead, open them."

Fenris’s eyes fluttered open, relieved to be finally free from the confines of the blindfold. Then he drank in the sight. It was… _breath-taking_ almost seemed an inadequate word. One could not plan such a thing more perfectly. From the soft sound of the waves splashing against the shoreline and the singular blanket set out just for them to enjoy their surroundings alone, everything was perfect. It was amazing and romantic and— Maker was Hawke going to ask him to marry him or something? That’s usually how these things started out. It seemed…a little too _special_ to be a simple date.

“Hawke this is…” he began, trying to find the words to explain how he felt. It was surprisingly difficult. “This is beautiful.”

"I thought you'd like it," Hawke hummed, skirting around him to slip the flower into one of his hands, taking the other in his own. "Varric said it was too cheesy, so I was scared he wouldn't help me get all this together but... looks like he pulled it off!" He stopped for a moment to inhale the smell of the ocean, loving the way it lit his senses on fire. He loved the ocean, and he felt like after today, he would enjoy it even more. Well, if everything went _well_ that is. That was the hope. "Come on, I had him get us some of that wine he makes. It's the best you'll ever taste, promise."

He led him towards the blanket and settling down, grabbing the wine and some glasses.

Fenris found himself looking around still as he sat down slowly on the blanket. It was peaceful here and for a little while he could pretend that nothing else mattered. Perhaps he had a point that it was a little cheesy but a bit of that was good, he couldn’t complain, not with views like these. He found himself watching Hawke now, the light casting down on him and illuminating the finer features of his face. Fenris reached for a glass of wine once Hawke had poured one out and took a sip.

“You’re right this is good,” he said, taking another big sip and licking his lips. “Varric makes this?”

"Yep, he sure does," Hawke replied as he took a sip of his own, letting his gaze wander over the watery horizon. "He showed me how to do it. Not his recipe, but how to make wine. I made a pretty big mess, and the stuff didn't even end up tasting good."

He laughed as he recalled the memory, letting himself settle closer to Fenris and wrap an arm around his waist. He took another long sip, his nerves still on a high as he tried to piece together what he wanted to say in his mind, how he would say it. He choked on his wine for a moment, covering his mouth with his hand and bushing bright red. _Good job, nerves. Way to go. You're really helping me out here._

Fenris nodded, leaning his head against Hawke and nuzzling into his embrace. This was textbook romance right here. Admittedly, Fenris had never felt so…so… _treasured_ in his life. He never thought that after all the hard work he had been through raising a child that someone would come along and take the weight off his back and treat him to times like these where we didn’t have to worry about anything.

And then Hawke choked on his drink. And Fenris chuckled. It was… _perfect_ actually. There was something raw and real about it, drawing him back from this dream land into the reality that they were just two men, enjoying their evening in each other’s company.

Hawke set his glass down and wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand, apologizing weakly as he too began to laugh. At himself, he supposed. At his stupid choking and the fact that he was so nervous over something that was relatively... small. Like, he wasn't asking Fenris to marry him or anything. Compared to that, this was nothing. This was just another stone that they had to cross to get over the river. But... there was still that potential of rejection. That potential that Fenris would tell him that he was too demanding, that he came on too strong, that he was _clingy_.

His every insecurity ebbed at him and swirled on his insides. He tried to open his mouth to speak, to break the silence, but he couldn't get the words out. Was it getting hot out here? It was definitely getting hot out here.

"I... uh, Fenris," he began, tongue suddenly going as dry as a desert. "Tonight, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. Well, I mean, two things, sort of."

_Oh, Maker this is it, isn’t it?_ Fenris looked at him, inwardly expecting some big proposal and a ring that’d make him nervous. It has been six months. To calm his nerves, he took another big sip of the delicious wine. Yes. Focus on that. That deep, rich taste of grapes. Definitely not on his own heart pounding.

“What is it…?” he asked slowly.

"Well, you see, I uh…First thing..." he looked down into his wine, staring at his own reflection, looking desperately for answers to his dilemma _. Look at him, look him in the eyes. That's what they do in the movies._ That's... that's a good start. He turned to look at Fenris, allowing himself to drown in the green pools. They were so beautiful. The most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his entire life.

"Fenris, I... fuck. I don't... I don't know how to say this without being super corny, so... I guess I'll just go with corny, because at this point it’s... what I do best," he cleared his throat again, setting his wine off to the side. "Fenris you... have this kind of effect on me. I guess... I always sort of knew what it was but I didn't really acknowledge it. It wasn't the right time or the right place, I'd risk scaring you away if I brought it up, so I just... didn't. But... if I don't tell you now, I'm just gonna keep it bottled up and sort of awkwardly shove it under a rug."

"So, really, what I'm trying to say is..." he swallowed, breathing out slowly though his nose. Fuck, his hands were shaking. "Fenris, I'm in love with you. And I... I have been for a while now. An embarrassingly long while."

That…wasn’t what he was expecting. At all, really. In fact, Fenris felt his shoulders relax until the weight behind Hawke’s words finally hit him. He could feel his heart beat fast in his throat. In love. They were such strong words. Fenris’s shaky hands reached up to gently cup Hawke’s cheeks after putting down his wine glass. He wanted to kiss him but he needed to talk to him first.

“Garrett…” he said softly, using his first name. There was sentiment behind it, spending most of their time together using ‘Hawke’. He swallowed roughly. “I…care about you a great deal. No one has ever…no one…has ever made me feel like this or said that to me. And I…” Fenris wasn’t sure he’d be able to get the words out. He loved Hawke. He did. But saying it was much harder than thinking it. “I feel the same way.”

Hawke took that like a punch in the gut. But like.... like a good punch in the gut? He could feel tears welling in his eyes and he couldn't even find words to describe the amount of happiness and relief he was feeling, He just smiled, dipping in to kiss Fenris and wrap his arms around his waist. Okay, maybe there was a tear going down his cheek. So what. He was a big man with a lot of really, really big emotions. He couldn't contain them like most other people would.

He was quick to wrap his arms around his neck, drawing him in for the deep kiss. Everything about this was right. This was a new step forward in their relationship. As he slowly pulled away, he smiled and wiped the tear from Hawke’s face with his thumb. Then he remembered that Hawke had mentioned wanting to talk about two things. Obviously, one was the confession. The other…who knew?

Hawke chuckled at himself as Fenris wiped his tear away, feeling pretty emasculated, but that was quite alright with him. He stared into his eyes, lost in his own thoughts for a moment before he remembered: _Right, thing number two._

"So, uh... the second thing should come out a lot easier, then," he continued, still holding Fenris close to him, thumbs making soothing circles in the small of his back. "We see each other a lot, so it wouldn't change too much. Well uh, actually no... it would change _a lot_. But, if you're up for it...." he paused, licking his lips. "Would you... want to move in? With me? I mean... it's a big step... obviously you don't have to."

Fenris blinked wildly. It was true, they spent a lot of time at each other’s houses. They probably ate dinner and slept together more times a week than they did it alone. But it was the premise of actually packing up his things and moving in. He wanted…to live with him. Basically, he was telling him he wanted to wake up next to him every morning and eat their meals together every night.

“I…I think I would like that,” Fenris said eventually. In a way, it’d be nice to get out of the big house. It was too much for just him and Adrian. Hawke’s place was much cosier and…maybe with all of them together, it would feel more like home. “Of course, I’d…have to talk to Adrian but I’m sure he’d like that. And I’d have to pack and figure out what I’m going to do with my house but…I…yes, Hawke. I’d like to.”

"Wait, really?" Hawke gaped at his boyfriend for a moment, hardly able to believe his ears. Fenris wanted to fall asleep next to Hawke every night, to let Hawke tuck Adrian into bed, to wake up next to Hawke each morning and eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with him. His heart wasn't pounding anymore because he swore that it had completely stopped, that time itself had completely stopped. "Fenris... I-I don't even know what to say."

“Tell me you’re happy,” Fenris said calmly. That was all that mattered after all. He wanted to happy and he wanted Hawke to be happy as well. He leaned in, brushing their noses together and his hot breath hovering over Hawke’s lips. “I want you, Hawke.”

Hawke's breathe caught in his throat, his heart suddenly bursting again with life as Fenris loomed ever closer to him, sweet breath on his cheeks.

"You're all I've _ever_ wanted," Hawke murmured, the first thought that came to his head and though it was cheesy, it felt right. He let his hands slide up to cup the other man's face and pull him into the last bit of distance between them, connecting their lips. He could feel the tingling all the way down his arms and in his knees, totally overwhelmed with love and passion as he kissed Fenris, pulling him easily into his lap, as if he had always belonged there.

There were no words to describe how kissing Hawke right now felt. It was like something straight out of a cheesy romance novel. The way Hawke made his body ignite with desire, as if emotions could be passed through in a single kiss. There was an empty space inside of him he didn’t know he had, and it was filled when he was with Hawke. The final piece of the puzzle. Eventually he had to pull away from his lips for air and he laughed breathlessly, leaning his forehead against Hawke’s.

Hawke's eyes sparkled as he looked up at Fenris, his heart doing a dance in his chest.

"Fuck, I love you so much," he mumbled, leaning in to place a small kiss on the other man's neck, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. "It feels so good to finally say it."

He'd kept it in for so long, he knew. He remembered looking at Fenris's sleeping face and thinking, _I'm in love_. Seeing Fenris fresh out of the shower with wet hair sticking to his face _, I'm in love_. Holding Adrian in his arms and messing up his hair as Fenris smiled, watching from afar, _I'm in love_.  This was so much better than anything he could have ever expected and hell if he was going to let it go to waste.

“Is…You have the room for me and Adrian, right?” Fenris said all of a sudden, thinking about the size of Hawke’s home and counting the rooms he could remember. It would certainly take some adjusting. Sure, they often slept together and ate dinner together but there would also be adjusting to each other’s laundry and cleaning habits, their routines slowly melting into one. There weren’t many things in his house but…would Hawke have room for all of his and Adrian’s stuff? Adrian had so many toys and possessions.

"I cleaned out a bedroom just for Adrian already, it's right next to Sam's," Hawke said with a little bit of a proud smile. It had taken a fair bit of work to prepare that room, and that all would've been for naught if Fenris had rejected him. "My house should be big enough for both of us, my father raised three kids in it, after all. If we end up needing more room, we can always combine Sam and Adrian's bedroom into one big one. It wouldn't be too difficult to do."

“He’ll be so excited,” Fenris replied with a thoughtful hum. He couldn’t help himself, leaning forwards to plant a quick kiss on Hawke’s lips. He could picture Adrian’s face now, telling him that they were going to move in with Hawke’s family, that he’ll be able to be with Sam as much as he wants. They’ll practically be siblings. Ones that got along, of course. He’ll love the animals too, he thought, finally having the dog he always wanted in Burger and being able to see the chickens on a regular basis.

"Sam was a mess when I told her the plan," Hawke chuckled, returning the kiss before contently pulling away. "She tried so hard to keep it a secret from Adrian for my sake, I don't think she's ever been so conflicted in her life, but she'll be happy to know that you said yes."

He also remembered Sam asking when the wedding would be, and if she could be the one that brought up the rings to the altar. It was too early for that, but it was a bit scary to know that engagement was the next stepping stone in line for them. He tried not to think about it, for now, he just fell back on the blankets, bringing Fenris with him as he laid down, holding him tight against his chest with no intent of letting go.

Fenris shuffled so he was laying mostly on top of him, his upper body resting on Hawke’s chest. He could feel his rhythm of his heartbeat and the slow rise and fall of his breathing. They were beginning to sync with his own. He couldn’t stop kissing him, holding his face and devouring his lips with his own. He tasted of wine mostly but he had a good feeling that he would even suffer through horrific morning breath to kiss the man. That was going to be their future, wasn’t it? Lazy, morning kisses doused in morning breath and laughing at each other. He could be content with that.

Hawke let his hands slowly run down Fenris's back as he kissed him, savouring the shape of the taut muscles beneath his shirt and sighing happily. He couldn't wait to fall asleep beside Fenris each night, to tuck in both of their kids and wake up in the morning to get both of them ready for school. He wanted to have flowers out on the counter for Fenris to find when Hawke wouldn't be able to make it home from work that night. He wanted.... well, _everything_ to put it plainly. This was... a start of their life together. A semi-permanent life together. It wasn't a solid promise, but it was definitely a sign that they both wanted the same thing. A home with each other, and both of their children, together.

They laid there together for a while long, satisfied to just melt into each other’s lips and rest their bodies against one another. This was a new beginning for both of them, the real start of their life together. And then as if waiting to spoil the moment, Fenris both felt and heard his stomach rumble. He grumbled, resting his face against Hawke’s chest with flushed cheeks.

“You brought something to eat?” he asked, slightly muffled by the fabric of Hawke’s shirt. Damn you bodily functions, he was quite enjoying himself just lying in Hawke’s arms. Why did you always have to ruin things?

"I did! Well, technically Varric did, but there's definitely food," Hawke chirped, sitting up but holding Fenris so that he could sit in his lap instead of just kind of falling off of him. "He brought some of the pasta you got last time we went to the restaurant, and the cinnamon things that he makes, here," he reached into the basket and fished our two small Styrofoam boxes, popping them open as steam from warm, delicious food rolled into the air. "Ta-da!"

“You’re the best,” Fenris mumbled, reaching in to start munching on the food and leaning back against Hawke’s chest. It wasn’t until he took the first bite, he realised how hungry he was and he moaned lowly at the taste. He had forgone dinner under the assumption that they would be eating on their date like they usually did and it was getting late, so he supposed it did make sense. Could this day get more perfect?

Hawke dug into his own food, super content with it. He'd have to let Varric know that the date was a success, and that there would be no reason for him to show up and comfort Hawke through his Manly Grief.

"I try my hardest," he said through a mouthful of food. He felt like he was in his own bit of heaven. Everything between him and Fenris had gone so perfectly, without a hitch, even with Sebastian hating Hawke's guts. Wait... oh Maker... _Sebastian_. "Wait, what about your dad?"

“My dad will have to live with my choices. He knows I’m a fully-grown adult. I know he doesn’t…he’s not too fond of you but he’ll get over it eventually,” Fenris replied nonchalantly, waving his hand in the air slightly to dismiss Hawke’s concerns before tucking back into the food he had. There wasn’t a lot Sebastian could do if he wanted to move in with Hawke. He did feel a little bad after he spent so much time and effort getting him the house, but he’d come to understand.

"That's true, I just don't want him to hate me more because I'm taking you out of the house he gave you," Hawke explained. "I'd say we could live there if I wouldn't have to sell all my animals in order to do so. And I just... can't do that. It'd be like pawning off my family, you know?" He may work a lot, but those animals were just as much his children as Sam was. They meant the world to him, more than he could rightly explain. This farm was also all that he had left of his parents, and his childhood. He could never part with it.

“Hawke it’s okay. I know that…you said your father left you that farm, right? It means something to you and my house is…it’s just money. I’m flattered that you even want to share with me a place that holds so much value to you,” Fenris replied, setting down his food to turn around on his lap to face him, legs wrapped around his waist. He cupped one of his cheeks in his head and stroked it gently with his thumb. “Don’t worry about it.”

Hawke zoned out into Fenris's eyes for a moment, resting his cheek into his hand and just admiring the other man's expression. _I get to wake up to that every day from now on_ , he thought.

"Well, it'll definitely be nice for me and Sam to have some help, that's for sure," he said, turning his head to kiss Fenris's palm. "And we have plenty of land for you to turn into a beautiful garden, like the one at your place. I'll even help you."

“I’d like that,” Fenris said. It was one thing he hadn’t considered – leaving his garden behind. He’d spent so long maintaining it all through Adrian’s childhood and it’d be sad to leave it behind. However, with this new beginning it was also an opportunity for a new garden. He’d make one dedicated to the start of this step forward in his relationship with Hawke. It’d be nice to have some extra hands too, with Hawke and Sam being around as well as Adrian. He wondered if Sam would be interested in helping him garden, she didn’t exactly seem like the type but there was always room for surprises. Fenris let his hand slip away from Hawke’s face and he planted a quick kiss on his lips before reaching back for his food. He _was_ still hungry, after all.

Hawke chuckled at that and joined him, settling easily back into the silence of eating with content. As he ate, he noticed that the sun was slowly beginning to set over the horizon, dipping down into the ocean and making the water reflect with an orange glow.

"Hey, guess what," he murmured, gesturing to the sunset. "Do you see that?"

Fenris turned around to see what Hawke was pointing at. Pink and orange glows faded into one another in the sky as they came cascading down over the waves. It was a beautiful sight, and to think that Hawke had somehow managed to get them here alone to witness it. Fenris found himself briefly mesmerised by the sight.

“Hawke it’s beautiful,” he mumbled.

"Not as beautiful as you," Hawke countered, putting a messy kiss on his cheek and smiling. He definitely meant it, too. When he looked at Fenris, the sight put the sunset to shame. White hair framing angular features, as if he were cut out of marble, green eyes like gemstones and skin... he'd never meet anyone in his life who had skin like that. But his beauty was deeper than the surface. For, not only was his attractiveness godly, but he was strong hearted, an amazing father, and braver than Hawke could ever hope to be.

“Flatterer,” Fenris said with a snort of laughter, red still flushing in his cheeks at the compliment even though he was no stranger to Hawke’s words. He pushed Hawke’s face aside playfully with a hand on his cheek and resumed eating his food.

The two of them ate peacefully, making small talk as the sun faded and the stars began to twinkle in the sky. The wine bottle left empty and the picnic basket barren. Fenris remained in Hawke’s lap, resting his head on his shoulder and burying his face into the crook of his neck to inhale his scent. He was comfortable here, at peace.

Hawke settled in, resting his head on top of Fenris's, but he felt his stomach turning with a new anxiety. They had kids waiting for them at home. He didn't want to leave. If he could, he would stay here for as long as he possible could, and the world would stop turning around them.

"I don't wanna leave," he voiced his thoughts with a bit of a pout, looking off toward the sky as the stars twinkled above like the candles in the sand around them. "I just... wanna stay here."

“I know how you feel. It’s… _perfect_ here,” Fenris answered, following Hawke’s gaze up into the stars. It was rare to see so many of them, usually hidden behind clouds and pollution. Hawke could not have better timed this moment, this date. “But time doesn’t stop for anyone, not even us. Ah, besides, I know you trust Anders but I can’t say I’m fond of the man. I’d rather not leave him with my son for too long.”

"Yeah," Hawke huffed, pursing his lips. "Anders... is an asshole. I admit. I just... I don't get it. I don't know how to deal with him. He doesn't seem to take the hint."

Anders had been laying it on pretty thick ever since they had a drunken night together back when they both had just graduated from college. They'd agreed to stay as friends but it was pretty obvious that Anders saw Hawke as more than that, and he was pretty stuck.

“Well. He should know if he gets too close I’ll break his nose,” Fenris said, tutting. He wondered if he should’ve played it off as more of a joke but the truth was it was far from one. He would happily slam his fist into the man’s face if it meant he’d stay away from Hawke since he clearly had no good intentions. Fenris slowly shuffled out of Hawke’s lap, stretching and yawning. “I guess…we should go back. I don’t want to but we should.”

"I don't doubt it," Hawke laughed. "I'd do the same for you in a heartbeat, so don't stress," He felt a bit sad though as Fenris shuffled off of him, missing the warmth of his presence. He nodded weakly, standing up and stretching himself. He grabbed the blanket and the basket, taking one last look toward the ocean. "Do you... plan on staying the night? I know it'll take a while to get everything arranged for the move in, but..."

“Hmm, I’ll stay tonight,” Fenris said confidently. There was no question or hesitance about staying with each other anymore. They knew they were welcome in each other’s homes, well, that was pretty obvious by the fact that Hawke had asked him to move in with him. Any time spent with Hawke was time well-spent. He was having such a good date with him that he didn’t really want it to end right away anyway.

"Good, I was hoping you would," he hummed with a smile, taking his boyfriend's hand and walking back to the car. The drive home was filled with small talk and plans for arranging the move in. Hawke promised to help, wanting to do whatever he could to make the move go as smoothly as possible for both Adrian and Fen. Also, Adrian would need to hear the news, as well.

When they returned, Hawke awkwardly gave Anders some money and sent him out the door before he could try anything funny. He noticed Anders and Fenris glare at each other in passing but he ignored it. Anders was gone, everything was fine. Sam and Adrian were on the couch, still awake— though barely— watching a movie that Anders had put on for them. When they heard Hawke's voice, they practically leaped from the bed to go and greet their fathers. Sam hugged her dad's leg, nuzzling it and mussing up her hair.

"Hi dad," she said tiredly before releasing him rubbing her eye. She looked between the two and leaned towards Hawke, loudly whispering. "How did it go?"

“Dad!” Adrian exclaimed and exchanged a running hug with Fenris. He enjoyed spending time with Sam but it would never be like the comfort of his father.

“Hey buddy. How does spending the night here sound?” Fenris replied, setting Adrian down after the flying hug and running his fingers through his curly hair. Adrian nodded quickly, clearly still excited by the prospect of a sleepover as he had been the very first time it had happened. Fenris could hardly believe the boy still had energy when it was so late. He knew that he would be overwhelmed when he found out he would be living here soon. “Get some rest then, I have something important to tell you tomorrow.”

Sam heard that and a grin exploded across her face. She punched her dad playfully on the thigh and held up a hand. "Gimme some, up top!"

Hawke chuckled at her enthusiasm. He leaned down to give her a high-five (well, technically a low-five) and pat her on the shoulder. She would always understand him in ways that no one else could. They could practically communicate telepathically at this point. Which was amazing to him, because despite their battles and Sam's constant mischief, she would always be a daddy's girl. "That's my girl. Now, go on, it's almost midnight. You kids need to get some sleep."

Adrian giggled at Hawke and Sam’s high-five, even though he didn’t understand the true context of what it meant. After some more ushering by fathers, Adrian and Sam reluctantly went Sam’s room to get ready for bed. It seemed so…natural to see them walking together, Fenris thought. He remembered that Hawke must have told Sam before he went out on the date about asking him to move in and wondered if she would be able to keep quiet about it to Adrian now she had a confirmation.

“I’d like some sleep as well,” Fenris said after a moment once the two kids had disappeared. He turned to Hawke and took his hand in offering.

"Hmmm, that's unusual for you, but I'm not gonna lie, I'm beat," Hawke laughed, smiling and squeezing his hand. "Come on, let's go."

He led Fenris into his bedroom and shed his clothes, pulling on his fuzzy pyjama pants (with the dog pawprints on them). His room had become regularly cleaner now that Fenris was around. He supposed it would have to get dirty eventually with Fenris living in it also. Oh well. He sat on the edge of the bed and stretched, his joints popping noisily. He hadn't expected that this day would drag so much energy out of him, but it really did.

Fenris followed him to the bedroom, undressing as well down to his boxers. The button-up would be uncomfortable to sleep in after all. He left his clothes in a neatly stacked pile and sat down on the opposite side of the bed. Soon to be his side of the bed. He couldn’t stifle his yawn and he found himself leaning back into the covers. So comfy and warm…He was going to drift off straight away if he wasn’t careful.

Hawke curled up right behind him, wrapping his arms around his torso to rest his hand on Fenris's tummy, holding it possessively. He buried his nose in the fluffy white hair and let himself be intoxicated by the scent. It was perfect, beyond perfect, and he couldn't believe this would be every night for him soon. Would he grow tired of it? Never.

"Good night, Fen," he mumbled, kissing the back of his head.

“Good night Hawke,” Fenris replied quietly, enjoying the feeling of Hawke nuzzling against him and leaning back slightly into the embrace. This was how it was going to be now. He could live the rest of his life like this, he figured. As he settled, his eyelids felt more and more heavy until eventually, he fell into a deep sleep.


	12. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris and Adrian move into Hawke's place and they finally go to that Parent-Teacher conference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go again! this chapter contains the last of the smut scenes for this fic, we're fairly close to the end now. but there is drama yet to come ;)
> 
> enjoy! comments make us happy <3

Moving in was difficult, but not as difficult as they had previously assumed. Fenris's house was nice, so getting it on the market was pretty easy. Sebastian said that he was sure they'd get a buyer in no time, though he said so very disdainfully, with a grimace on his face. Living with Fenris, though, was a dream come true. They'd settled a routine of Hawke dressing the kids for school and Fenris making breakfast, it was.... _super_ domestic. When he told his brother about it on their last FaceTime, he jokingly asked about the wedding. Speaking of Carver, he still hadn't met Fenris yet. Their relationship was serious, but with Carver in some other country, it was hard to see him.

That day in particular was the day of the dreaded Parent Teacher conference. Hawke was in no way excited for it, but Fenris had agreed to go with him. They would see teachers together to talk about their kids, as partners, and caretakers for both of the children. It made his heart swell to think that he was Adrian's caretaker as well now. He loved the kid as much as he loved Fenris, loved Sam. They...well, they'd easily become a family.

The kids had just gotten home and Hawke off of work, but he didn't bother much to change out of his scrubs. Maybe it would make him look like a better dad to the teachers who hated him because of Sam's behaviour. Maybe. He had planned to drop the kids off with Sebastian while they were having the meetings, which was agreeable enough. Sebastian never seemed to mind taking them in for a while.

Hawke came into the kitchen to mull around for his keys. He was still driving that rental car; the truck was sort of in a junk yard indefinitely. Until Hawke could afford to fix it. Fenris had his car as well now, though, and that made things easier.

"Are we ready to go, baby cakes?" he asked with a mischievous smile on his face after using the obnoxious nickname.

“Only if you stop calling me that,” Fenris replied, rolling his eyes. It wasn’t that he hated pet names, in fact, he used the occasional ‘babe’. The generic stuff was fine most of the time. Whenever Hawke broke out the ‘baby cakes’ or ‘my sweet little butter muffin’ it was time to ask him to stop. It was nothing short of embarrassing and cheesy. But he laughed it off anyway, they’d reached this comfortable complacency where they could tell when the other was genuinely mad about something or just fooling around.

Hawke was much more nervous about the conference than he was. He’d promised him they wouldn’t have to stay long. Most of the teachers sang Adrian’s praises for his intelligence and good behaviour, even if they didn’t exactly approve of his association with Sam. He understood Hawke’s concern about her and the way the other teachers and parents thought of his daughter. Things had loosened up ever since Adrian’s 7th birthday party and seen the blossoming friendship between her and Adrian, but a lot of parents were still on edge. But Fenris was ready to make it clear that he was not going to stand for it either. Living with Hawke now, he’d pretty much taken in Sam as his own, giving her almost the same care and consideration as his own son. Not that he thought any less of her, he adored Sam, but you were always bound to feel more attached to your own child that you raised from day one.

Fenris followed Hawke out to the car and got in the passenger side, strapping himself in effortlessly. He spared a glance over at Hawke, seeing the nervousness in the tremors in his fingers that tightened around the steering wheel. So, he leaned over and rubbed his shoulder, saying to him softly; “It’ll be fine Hawke.”

Hawke looked back over at him and smiled, shoulders relaxing a little bit.

"I hope you're right," he mumbled as he put the car in drive, pulling out onto the road. The drive to the school consists mostly of small talk about each other's respective days, Fenris trying to get Hawke to relax. Hawke takes it in stride, doing his best to do that breathing exercise Merrill had taught him once upon a time to use it for times like these. Not, specifically, a time like this, but for stressful situations none the less. The shaking in his fingers settled, but not quite his heart rate.

At this age, there was usually a respective teacher for each age group, instead of each subject. Hawke knew the teacher that had taught for Sam and Adrian, her name was Meredith, Mrs. Stannard, to the students. However, when Hawke and Fenris entered the building and followed the signs to the classroom, the familiar principal Danarius was seen through the door, sitting at the desk and talking calmly with another parent.

The man's gaze turned when he saw Hawke and Fenris, however, and it lingered for a moment too long. It made his skin crawl, even as the man looked away and back toward the parent before him. They settled into a row of chairs outside the doors, the waiting area presumably, and he could feel his knee bobbing with anxiety. As if this couldn't get any _worse_ for him.

"Why is he there?" he asked in a whisper. "He's not a teacher."

Fenris followed Hawke’s gaze to Danarius sat at the desk. Principal’s usually had better things to do than attend these conferences, it did make him wonder what business he had here. He had expected just to talk mostly to Sam and Adrian’s teacher and then make their appearance known, after that they’d leave at the first opportunity. Danarius was talking to the parents, obviously he had some interest in talking about the children. Fenris couldn’t tell if it was admirable or if he had some kind of ulterior motive in surveying the parents or checking up on how the teachers under his employ handled this situation. Or, he supposed, it could be just because he was new and wanted to know how these things were run.

“I don’t know,” Fenris replied in the same hushed tone. There were a multitude of reasons why he could be there, there was no reason for him to jump to negative conclusions right away. He knew the man often stood at the gates, seemingly looking out for the children as they came into school. He hoped however, this didn’t mean they were going to be roped into another lengthy conversation about the children with someone other than Mrs. Stannard.

Hawke desperately hoped the same, but his paranoia was ebbing at him. _This is totally a setup_ , his anxiety said. _He's here because plotting something sleazy. You know it._ He kept his thoughts to himself, however, especially as the parent who was originally inside exits and gives parting pleasantries with a smile.

Danarius came to the door and put on a polite _(creepy)_ smile towards Fenris, as though Hawke didn’t even exist. "Ah, Mr. Vael. Do come in, have a seat, please."

Hawke stood up with Fenris, putting on a smile though he was definitely squaring his shoulders, crossing his arms in a way where he's intentionally flexing.

"Uh, Fenris is my partner. We're both here for Adrian," he said stiffly. He did his best to sound casual, but was desperately failing. "and Sam, of course."

Danarius's lip twitches at the word " _partner_ " but says nothing to acknowledge it. "Of course, come on in then. There are two chairs here for the both of you."

There was a swell of pride as Hawke declared himself a caretaker of Adrian, as well as his ‘partner’. He knew it, but hearing it when addressing someone else was whole other thing entirely.

“Thank you,” Fenris said. As he walked towards the seats, he noticed Hawke stiffen. Anxious then, that wasn’t surprising given the circumstances. He’d tried his best to tell him everything would go fine and he had nothing to worry about. Those things were easier said than done however.

Danarius settled into his seat as Hawke and Fenris settled into theirs, and he folded his hands neatly in his lap like some sort of villain in a really old, really cheesy movie. Hawke also notices that he's sitting in front of the desk, not behind it, in full view.

"I apologise, first of all, for my unexpected presence. Mrs. Stannard has come up ill, and has asked me to speak on her behalf. She's left notes for me here, but for Adrian, I don't think that will be necessary," he cooed, putting on that same smile that he wore in the doorway.  "It is very nice to finally put a face to the name. A...handsome face, no less. Anyways, I apologize, Adrian speaks fondly of you, I shouldn't be surprised that you are such a capable father, raising such a brilliant child."

Hawke bristled at the handsome part, and stiffened even more in his chair than he already had. He watched Danarius with the eyes of a predator, and he can see Danarius give him side-eyes as he continues, gaze refocusing on Fenris. "I must ask, what do you do for a living? I'm curious."

“Oh, I’m a fitness instructor. I work at the gym down the street,” Fenris answered, noting the way Danarius seemed to completely ignore Hawke’s presence entirely. It was like he wasn’t even there. He squirmed a little on the seat at the more personal compliments, simply used to Adrian being the one praised for his achievements. He wasn’t sure why Danarius wanted to know what he did, his personal life had never come up in these meetings before. But he brushed it off, thinking nothing of it.

"Fascinating, you're certainly... built for it," he hummed admiringly a strange twinkle to his eye before finally, almost reluctantly flicking his gaze back over to Hawke. "I must admit, Mr. Hawke, Sam's behaviour has improved since her friendship with Adrian, but very little. Your daughter is a troubled child."

Hawke lips turned downward in a scowl.

"She's not a troubled child, she just has a few kinks to work out, that's it," he said, trying to keep his voice as level as he could without snapping. He was already tense, but this had him ready to snap. "You actually take a minute to get to know her and you'll see."

"'A few kinks'? Ah. Quite," he pursed his lips, looking between the two of them for a moment. "If you persist, Mr. Hawke, I cannot tell a man how to raise his child."

"Right. So, don't."

"Of course," he cleared his throat. "I'm...sorry. I did not mean to come off on the wrong foot. I...would like to see your daughter improve in her schooling. I was worried that she may be negatively influenced. However, her grades are lacking. If they do not improve, she cannot move on to higher classes with the rest of her age group."

“Surely there’s no need to hold her back? That seems a little extreme with all due respect,” Fenris cut in to the conversation. He had meant it when he’d told Hawke that he would stand up for Sam and not let anyone put her or her father down. Perhaps at first, when they had met, Fenris had thought vicious things about her and what her parenting must have been like for her to end up such an aggressive little girl. He knew now that things weren’t as they seemed. “Sam is well taken care of at home and Adrian has been an incredibly positive influence on her. I’m not saying she’s without flaw but I would think holding her back would negate any progress she’s made.”

Danarius paused, looking surprised when he heard Fenris standing up for Sam. It made Hawke want to lunge across the space between them and punch him in the nose right where he stood. He contained himself, however. Fenris had given him that knowing look, and it kept him still. Danarius leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and holding his chin in a hand as he observed Fenris.

"I have been left without much options," he said carefully, it was almost... _sultry_. "If you were a man in my position, what would you do, exactly?"

“There is…still time before the end of the academic year. I ask you to give her a chance. I know from a rational stand point, things don’t look great but she is only a child. She has time yet to grow and realise the error of her ways. Don’t make any rash decisions just yet,” Fenris suggested, straightening up slightly from his slouched position. He spared a glance at Hawke, hoping it was okay for him to sort out Sam’s situation. “We can talk to her about her grades, see if there’s something bothering her. As far as I know, Adrian’s been helping her with her homework and I believe he’ll bring out the best in her and they shouldn’t be separated.”

"Exactly, and if need be, we can get her a tutor," Hawke agreed, giving a firm nod, feeling his heart swell a bit with satisfaction of the turn of events. Fenris was really saving Sam's ass here, and thankfully so because Hawke wouldn't have been able to do much more than spout insults due to his rage.

Danarius nodded at what they both were saying, pursing his lips in thought.

"You make a very strong argument, and I would hate to see Adrian be separated from a person he holds so dearly," he reached out, putting a hand on Fenris's knee and turning away to focus directly on him, as though Hawke weren't even in the room. "You are a splendid caretaker. I'll put my faith in your hands, this once, but only because I believe in your personal capabilities as a role model."

He pulled away then, and Hawke could have _sworn_ he saw him wink. Instantly, he was livid again, hands clenched into fists and his knuckles gone completely white.

“Um. Thank you,” Fenris said hesitantly, tensing slightly at the hand on his knee. Danarius was very expressive with his hands while he spoke, he noticed, so it should come as no surprise that he was _touchy_. However, it was definitely pushing at his boundaries. He tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling it felt on his skin and he turned to look at Hawke briefly before returning his attention back to Danarius. “Is…that all?”

"Hmmm, I believe so," The older man hummed, crossing his legs and folding his hands neatly back into his lap again. "Enjoy the rest of your evening, and if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to shoot me an e-mail."

Hawke nodded stiffly, but he grabbed Fenris's hand and he walked the two of them out before either of them could get out another word. He walked them all the way out to the car, not saying a thing. At the car, he slammed the driver side door shut after him with a loud sound. He gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles, forehead slammed against the bar.

“Hawke,” Fenris said calmly after strapping himself in. He reached over and gently touched the man’s arm. Fenris had defused the situation with Sam quickly and efficiently, of course there was going to be a talk with her needed as promised. All there was to be angry about was, what? Danarius stepping over the line a bit? He supposed he too would be angry in Hawke’s position, he knew how he felt about Anders already. “It’s fine.”

Hawke inhaled sharply and leaned back, obviously still angry and tense.

"No, it's not fine, he..." he grit his teeth. "Fuck, if you weren't there, he would have held Sam back. I couldn't talk him out of it without insulting him in some way because I was so pissed, I just—” he shook his head, his hands would have been shaking if not for gripping the steering wheel. "I can't handle when people talk about Sam like that. Like I'm a bad parent, or she's a spawn from Satan with no good qualities. And, to make it worse, he looks at you like you're a piece of meat and treats me like I'm not even in the fucking room. Fenris, it's like you weren't even a person, just...a fucking steak or something. It was disgusting. I physically _cannot_ —”

Fenris frowned. He knew how Hawke felt about Sam’s situation and he shared part of his anger. It was why he’d stood up for her in the first place. As for the rest of what Hawke said, he couldn’t exactly disagree. Danarius had looked at him in a way that was a little unnerving but the chances were he was just a perverted old man. Even if he _wanted_ to kick his ass, he had Sam and Adrian’s future to consider.

“I know how you feel, I won’t let him keep Sam behind. You know that, right?” he said.

Hawke looked up at him and his eyes softened. He reached between them to take one of Fenris's hands in his own, letting his anger melt away at the warmth of his touch. He felt like Fenris had just dumped ice over his fire somehow, like he always managed to do.

"I know, love," he murmured, leaning down to kiss his knuckles. "I just... something really rubs me wrong about that guy, you know? This isn't helping either. I probably sound like such a jack ass but it's... I dunno..."

“It’s over for now,” Fenris assured him, reaching for his cheek and planting a light kiss on his lips. He knew how to soothe him, calm him down. His hands slid down to his chest before pulling away after he pecked him on the lips another couple times. “Do you want to get takeaway for dinner? We could order in pizza or something. The kids would love that.”

"Yes, please, that sounds amazing," Hawke hummed smiling adoringly at his boyfriend before turning back toward the steering wheel. "We could stop by the video store too, rent a movie, have a family night," he suggested.

The thought sounded too nice, especially after the Danarius encounter. Spending the evening with Fenris and _their_ happy little family would be the perfect way for him to settle down after all that. Fenris nodded and the two of them picked up a movie on the way home, something they could watch with the kids. It sounded like Hawke needed something to take his mind off everything that happened. The discussion with Sam about her grades could wait until tomorrow. For now, they just needed everything to wind down. They’d get pizza and everyone would be happy. Everyone loved pizza, right?

Hawke definitely loved pizza, especially with pineapples on it. The only worthy pizza topping, in his opinion. It would be delivered to the house in half an hour or so. When they arrived home, he felt so happy to see Burger and the kids. They were trying to teach him how to play hide and seek, and Burger didn't quite understand the whole 'don't look while we hide' part.

"We're home!" he called, happily bending down to pull both of the children into his arms as they approached him. He buried his head into their shoulders, filling his senses with their scent and warmth.

Adrian squealed with excitement as he was scooped up into Hawke’s arms, giggling as he embraced him. Once down, he took his turn to hug Fenris as well, alongside Sam who did the same. Fenris wondered what he would think if he saw himself now a year ago. Their problems were small, domestic ones. He was actually truly happy for the first time in a long time, living with Hawke and their two children. Sebastian came out from the kitchen to say goodbye to the kids and Fenris. Then, reluctantly Hawke too. Still had a hang up about the time they were jumped, clearly. Fenris thanked him for looking after the children and they parted ways.

“How does pizza and a movie sound?” Fenris said, directing his attention back to the children and smiling when they cheered.

"Did you get pineapple pizza? No deal if there's no pineapples," Sam asked, though she was still smiling from ear to ear Hawke chuckled and nodded, patting her head.

"Of course, who do you think I am?" Hawke hummed. "Go on and put some pjs on. I'll make a big fort of blankets and pillows for us while we wait for the pizza man to come, okay?"

You could never go wrong with pizza and a huge cuddle session in a blanket and pillow fort. The kids would love it, he knew, and the child in him with a love for pillow forts had never truly died. Plus, cuddles. That was what Hawke needed right now above all else.

Watching Hawke interact with Sam, it was wonder that anyone considered him a bad parent. However, he had to assume that they just didn’t see the side of Hawke that Fenris knew and loved. Adrian and Sam scurried off to get changed, chattering away as they went about pizza and a fort. Fenris turned to Hawke, smiling slightly.

“You’re a great father you know,” he said. He knew it would mean a lot to Hawke to hear him say that and it was the honest truth.

Hawke paused when he heard Fenris. He'd been gathering pillows together in the living room and laying them out on the big couch, but he froze completely like someone had pushed a stop button on him.

"You... really think so?" he looked up with puppy dog eyes, slowly standing up right with a pillow in one of his hands. He blushed, and his eyes fell to the floor. "You know, most days I really, really doubt that. Hearing you say it though...." he smiled, looking up again with those same, happy dog eyes. "It makes me want to believe it."

“Well you should. Because it’s true,” Fenris said very matter-of-factly, noticing Hawke blushing. He huffed a little and then walked over to help him arrange the blankets and pillows into a make-shift fort. The kids soon returned in the pjs, darting over to the pillow fort once it was made and getting comfy inside it, giggling like maniacs. The doorbell rang a little later and Fenris answered it. It was such a minor thing but he always felt a spot of pride when he opened the door. This had been Hawke’s home and now it belonged to the both of them.

When they settled in, Sam nestled in to Hawke's side with Adrian beside her, they were practically laying on each other. He watched Fenris talk to the pizza man and give him the money. "Bring it in here, babe, we can all just eat on the couch, right kids?"

He nudged the children with his elbow and they grinned.

Sam clapped her hands together and gave a loud, _"Fuck yeah!"_ Hawke gasped and turned towards her with a horrified expression.

"Samantha, language!"

"Sorry, dad," but she was still giggling, obviously still pretty proud of herself. "I'm gonna go help," she jumped off the couch to meet Fen at the door, putting he hands on her hips. "Can I help carry it? Please?" she asked. "I'm really strong!"

“Oh yeah?” Fenris replied with a chuckle and handed Sam one of the pizzas to carry over to the couch. “Go on then tough girl.”

He watched as she giggled and ran back over to the fort with the pizza, being somewhat careful not to drop it. Fenris rolled his eyes, shaking his head with a smile. He paid the pizza man at the door and carried the remaining pizza, extra side dishes, and drinks all stacked on top of one another over to the fort. He cozied in, cuddling up to Hawke and opening one of the pizza boxes to take a slice.

Hawke wrapped an arm around Fen's waist as Sam took the job of putting the movie in. Everyone had pizza as it began to play, Hawke knew the sauce would stain the blankets but right now he didn't care. He needed this desperately. He rested his cheek on top of Fenris's head, placing a small kiss on his forehead. No one would take this from him. Not Anders. Not Sebastian. Not Danarius. No matter what happened.

Fenris couldn’t ask for anything more than this. He had a loving boyfriend and two children he loved and adored. This was domestic bliss, curled up in arms and blankets, eating pizza and watching a movie. He leaned his head on Hawke’s shoulder, mostly fixated on the film that was playing but every now and again looked towards Hawke and the kids, reminding himself how lucky he felt to have this.

The movie seemed to go by a lot faster than Hawke realized, and the kids were asleep before the credits had even started rolling. Hawke shifted a bit when he noticed it, smiling and running his fingers through his daughter's hair.

"Out like a light," he mumbled, shaking his head. "It's hard being six years old. So much responsibilities. It must wear on them."

“She’s _almost_ seven, you know how she grates on you about that,” Fenris replied playfully in a hushed tone. He glanced down at the children, seeing them peacefully asleep. “I’m almost convinced it’s a ruse for us to carry them to bed.”

Fenris shook his head with a smile and scooped Adrian up carefully in his arms. Adrian habitually curled up against Fenris’s chest, still fast asleep. He carried him to his bedroom and tucked him in his bed, leaving a gentle kiss on his forehead. After, he made his way back to clean up the pizza boxes and switch off the television. Then it would be his turn to go to bed.

Hawke followed suit, tucking Sam in and kissing her goodnight. He was ready to head to bed, that movie and that pizza had definitely made him feel a lot better. He picked up the blankets and pillows from their 'fort', tucking them away into one of the dirty laundry bins for now. He wasn't extremely worried. After that, he put Burger in his cage for the night and lead Fenris back to their room. He was still stewing over that a bit, _their_ room. But, in a good way. It was a pleasant change.

"You know, I can't believe that well... we're here, right now," he admitted. "Like, you living in my house. Us, our relationship. The kids' relationship. It's...like a dream come true."

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Fenris replied, wasting no time undressing and getting ready for bed. He shared the sentiment with Hawke, it was still taking some time to adjust to everything. It wasn’t that it had moved too fast, just change was always going to be weird for a while. Especially good change. Fenris clambered into bed and beckoned Hawke over so he could draw him into a kiss.

Hawke couldn't help but smile at that, and he happily complied. He joined Fenris on the bed and gently cupped his face in his hands, pressing their lips gently together. At the contact, he could feel his heart leap into his throat, as it always seemed to whenever these moments came about. He was so lucky, so unbelievably lucky, to have a person like Fenris to call his own. As if to express that sentiment, he let his hands rest on the other man's waist and turned their positions slightly as to deepen the kiss.

Anything he could do to take Hawke’s mind off the conference would be good, it just so happened that he was also enjoying himself in the process. Fenris cupped Hawke’s cheeks in his hands as he let him intensify the kiss. He lifted his leg to brush against the side of Hawke’s hip and the fact that the children were in the rooms next to them crossed over his mind. His eyes flickered over to the wall in a brief moment of air before settling back on Hawke.

Hawke followed his gaze toward the wall, watching out the open door down the hallway where the children's rooms were and he shrugged, turning back toward Fenris.

"It'll be fine, Sam sleeps like a rock," he hummed, dipping in to kiss Fenris and pull him fully into his lap. "If we're both thinking the same thing, that is."

“It won’t be often the kids aren’t at home when we are. I suppose we should get used to this,” Fenris replied quietly, most definitely thinking the same thing. He rocked his hips forwards, grinding his ass against Hawke. It was a little thrilling in a way, so long as they didn’t _actually_ get caught. Hawke brought out things in him he didn’t even know he held inside. He moved in to capture his lips again.

"Hmmm exactly," Hawke agreed, groaning breathlessly when Fenris ground down on him. He returned it with a roll of his hips, already feeling his boxers tighten. It had been a good while since they'd last done this, longer than they had normally gone in the beginning of their relationship when they couldn't seem to keep their hands off of each other.  It was better now, what with the responsibility of the children, but that didn't make Hawke any less eager to take the opportunity when it presented itself.

It was strange to think about the memories they’d already made here in this house. Everything became intimate here, from the first time they’d had sober sex here to the more peaceful domesticity of waking up together and cooking breakfast. There would be many more intimate encounters here to come, as well.

“I’ve missed this,” he said, hand wiggling down between them to cup between Hawke’s legs. It was crazy that he had gone so long without sex, mind focused entirely on raising Adrian rather than other more carnal interests. Now they were at that stage in their relationship, Fenris hardly wanted to go too long without it. Through the moving and getting everything set up, they hadn’t had much time for it. But everything was mostly settled now.

Hawke gasped and groaned loudly at the contact, rocking up into the other man's hand instinctively.

" _Fuck_ , me too," he huffed, biting the inside of his cheek. He'd been wanting this for longer than he wanted to admit, but he preferred to let Fenris initiate these things. He had been mentally trained to wait for the other person to make the first move, despite how he felt about a situation, and for Fenris it seemed to work. Almost better than it worked for Merrill. He let his hands fall to the other man's ass, giving it a tentative squeeze. Fuck, he'd missed how good this felt in his hands.

“You are…happy with the way we do things?” Fenris asked, planting kissing on and around Hawke’s lips. Hawke had never expressed any discomfort during sex nor any interest to do things any differently. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t just following whatever he asked for blindly because he didn’t want to disappoint him. Fenris thoroughly enjoyed Hawke fucking him into the mattress, but it couldn’t hurt to check. He rolled back into the hand cupping his ass.

"Very. Yes." Hawke hummed, letting his teeth graze the skin on Fenris's neck and took a few gentle bites. "Aren't you? Unless, that is, you're suggesting something new."

He let his hands slide up Fenris's shirt to caress his chest, appreciating the shapes of the muscles in his back and running his thumbs over the buds of his nipples. He loved the way his skin felt beneath his palms, it was perfect, soft but also firm; warm but also... husky. Masculine. Like Fenris had the power to snap Hawke's neck with one quick motion and Hawke would feel blessed by it.

“I just wanted to make sure,” Fenris answered, breath hitching as Hawke’s thumbs moved over his nipples. He grabbed the back of his own shirt and quickly tugged it off so Hawke’s hands could further explore. They had learnt each other’s bodies almost in their entirety, always roving over familiar dips and curves. Yet each time was still exhilarating, the bare skin under their fingertips. Fenris loved Hawke’s hands on his chest, his ass, his cock. They’d feel good roving up his spine and lacing themselves in his hair. A new wave of lust rushed over him. “…A new position maybe?”

Hawke seemed to have the same idea in that moment and he smirked a little, nodding.

"If you're up for it," he hummed. He usually really liked being able to see Fenris's face while they had sex, but the idea of being able to pull his hair, rake his hands up his back, Fenris's face stuffed in the pillows, unable to see what Hawke might to do him next. The idea of it.... fuck. _Fuck_ , it was really hot. "Not gonna push you, though."

Fenris nodded quickly, reaching for Hawke’s shirt and pulling it off him so he could run his fingers through his copious amounts of chest hair. He had always liked a certain degree of control and he knew being face down for Hawke would have him give over more control that usual. But the idea was actually starting to excite him. Next, he moved down to remove the rest of Hawke’s clothing.

Hawke allowed it, taking the chance to strip Fenris from his clothing as well and grab the lubricant from the nightstand. He bit his lover's neck again, making sure to leave a mark before he moved their positions, laying Fenris on his stomach with his face against the pillows. He ran his hand appreciatively down his back and made a delighted sound, pressing a kiss at the base of his spine, just above the tailbone.

"If there's anything I do that you're not okay with, just tell me to stop, alright?" he said softly, running a hand over his ass. "Won't hurt my feelings."

“Okay,” Fenris said, squirming a little to get comfortable on his front. He leaned his cheek against the pillow, burying his hands underneath it to keep it pressed against his face. Humming at the feel of Hawke’s hand moving along his back, he shifted his hips up and spread his legs a little further apart. It must’ve looked obscene, but he trusted Hawke and that was the important part. The reassuring thing about it was that even if Hawke seemed like he was in control, ultimately his own word would overrule any of that.

Hawke took that as an encouragement to keep going. This sight was...definitely different from what they'd done before but not in a bad way. It excited him, and in his eyes, it was impossibly sexy in a way he couldn't have even imagined it to be. He pressed another gentle kiss on his lover's ass before giving it a good squeeze, popping open the lube with his other hand. He felt a little bold, so he decided to try it just to see how Fenris would respond to it. He parted the soft cheeks easily with his palms, pressing his lips to that tempting entrance and tantalizing it with his tongue. He hadn't done anything like this since he was in college, he knew he was easily out of practice, but Fenris's response to his touch brought this surreal confidence out of him that couldn't be explained. Besides, if he didn't like it, he could always tell Hawke to stop.

The anticipation as he waited for Hawke to do something was agonising. He could hear him shuffling around the lube behind him as he waited for contact. The feel of Hawke’s tongue was enough to make him thankful for the pillow, masking some of his gasp. Fenris got the full wave of sensory shock with Hawke doing something he couldn’t have possibly predicted. No one had ever done this to him before.

“Oh f-fuck,” he breathed, struggling not to roll his hips back into the touch. It was strange, foreign, but definitely not bad.

Hawke could feel himself twitch at the curses, it was impossibly beautiful, erotic. Encouraged, he pressed forward a bit and let his tongue dive within Fenris's walls. He had expected it to be strange but it wasn't. Not much different in taste than a blowjob, anyways. Not at all unpleasant, as someone might think. He gripped Fenris's hips with a carnal intensity as he ate him out, savouring every last tremble and whimper that came from the man before him.

At this rate, it was going to be difficult to keep his hips in the air with the way his legs began to tremble. His cock hardened fully and he muffled his gasps into the pillow. It was better than he could’ve expected, even as his tongue pressed inside him. He was surprised Hawke wanted to do this to him. There was a certain degree of skill behind it and he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d done it before and who with? But he couldn’t let the thoughts dwell, he wouldn’t be something ridiculous as _jealous_ of an ex. Instead, he’d focus on the actual sensations.

Hawke pulled away before too long, not wanting to spend too much out of Fenris when they'd barely started. He had a bit of drool coming down his chin that he'd wiped off with the back of his hand, his face flushed bright red with desire.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he sighed, shaking his head as he laid himself on top of Fenris, chest resting on his shoulders as he coated a few fingers with the lube. He started with one though he felt like Fenris could probably take two at this point. He wanted to take this slow, it _had_ been a while, and he wanted to make sure they did it right. "This good, babe?"

“Yes,” Fenris rasped in response, rocking back onto the single finger. While he was grateful for Hawke’s concern, he knew he could take more right away. The sooner Hawke actually got inside him, the better. He’d waited long enough for that. The sensations were much better from this position, every touch left tingles on his skin as he could no longer anticipate them. However, it was difficult to touch Hawke back like this and so he had to settle on holding onto the pillow. “More.”

"How much more?" Hawke asked with a small smirk forming on his features, his lips not far from the other man's ears, husky and rough with lust. He pushed another finger in, curling upward and widening his hole with every skilful motion, and roll of the wrist. "You gotta be specific, babe."

Fenris groaned, beginning to squirm on the fingers. It was an improvement but not enough. Hawke wanted him to beg for it, did he? A mischievous, playful voice in his head egged him on but actually getting the words out was harder than it seemed. His cheeks burned with red and he was grateful that Hawke couldn’t see his face right now, but he did have a tendency to blush right up to his ears.

“I want you Hawke. Your cock inside me,” he managed to get the words out eventually. It sounded much less desperate and more seductive in his mind.

Hawke could feel the heat rising in the other man's face, and as soon as the words left his mouth, it struck him like a blow straight to the chest. Whatever sense of control he'd had before that held him back vanished completely. He pulled his fingers out, rather sloppily lubricating himself with the patience of a young child on Christmas Eve. Then, he mounted himself back a top Fenris, chest against back, and thrust himself in to the hilt. He forgot how good this felt. It was hard to keep himself from ploughing Fenris straight into the mattress right away.

The moment he felt the tip of Hawke’s cock at his hole, Fenris pressed his face deeper into the pillow. There was nothing he could do to stop the protracted moan as he pushed all the way inside of him, but at least the pillow would somewhat muffle the noise. As always, there was that familiar burn as he adjusted to the stretch. His nails dug into the material of the pillow and after moment he remembered to breathe again, relaxing his muscles.

“Fuck me,” he whispered loud enough for Hawke to hear. He enjoyed the feeling of Hawke’s chest against his back, gave him comfort in remembering who it was that was inside of him.

Hawke lost himself completely. He groaned like a man possessed, pulling out and slamming back into him again without any kind of mercy. He could hear his bed creak with the force but he didn't give a shit, not one. He buried himself as deep as he could possibly go with each new thrust.

"God damn it, _Fenris_ ," he growled, sinking his teeth into one of his shoulders and sure to leave a mark there.

Fenris couldn’t help but wonder if Hawke had some remaining pent up anger and frustration as he pounded into him. Hawke could destroy him from the inside out like this and he would adore every second of it. He hadn’t realised how much he enjoyed a more forceful experience, threatening to tear through the pillow with the blunt ends of his nails and struggling to keep his moans contained. Hawke was so deep inside him, had he ever been this deep before?

Hawke definitely liked this strangely more than what they'd done before. He liked the angle he was able to get from here, Fenris gripping the pillow. Hawke could feel his every tremble from here, every shift of his muscles as he tried to roll back against the contact. It was a lot less romantic, a lot less sentimental, but at this very moment Hawke didn't exactly _mind_. He liked the idea that Fenris would probably let Hawke fuck him anywhere however he wanted. It was maddening. He reached between them to take Fenris's cock in his hands, cupping his balls and palming at the base of it.

"Fuck, I could get used to this," he mumbled, nipping Fenris's ear as he struck his prostate and ran his thumb over the tip.

When Hawke slammed into his prostate, Fenris had to bite his lip hard as a shiver passed through his entire body. Precome leaked copiously into Hawke’s hand. He almost felt like a teenager again. There was no tenderness of an intimate domestic relationship, just raw and primal need as Hawke fucked into him. It was only heightened by the hand around his cock, pushing him closer to the edge with every stroke. Mumblings of curse words and Hawke’s name escaped his lips.

Hawke felt his stomach flutter at the warmth of the precome and continued his motions, rolling his hips to strike that same spot as accurately as possible without relent. He knew he wasn't far off, but he needed Fenris to finish first. Every mumble of his name urged him onward, like a kick to the side of the stallion. He could feel himself sweating, his muscles straining. He would feel this in the morning but he didn't care. Obviously, Fenris would feel it too.

"Come for me, Fen," he whispered, trying to sound sultry but likely sounding as desperate as he felt.

Fenris was so very close, toying with the final peak. Tears were gathering in the corners of his eyes as he felt his whole body shake. And then Hawke whispered in his ear and the world came to a standstill. His body arched, crying out wantonly as his face lifted from the pillow. He spurted into Hawke’s hand, riding the waves of his orgasm as he thrusted into his fist. He was ready to collapse, panting harshly from the exhaustion and power behind his climax.

Hawke followed right after, almost at the same time, filling Fenris's insides with his seed. He felt all his muscles loosen and he slumped atop the other man, slowly pulling out and collapsing beside him- panting to catch his breath. He looked at the semen all over his hand and sighed, tiredly licking it clean with a hum.

" _Make_ r, Fen," he shook his head, a grin parting his features. "That was... _fuck_."

With a tired smile, Fenris rolled onto his back. He shared the sentiment. That was unlike any other sexual experience they’d had thus far and he hoped there would be more just as exhilarating in the future.

“A good decision on my part, I think,” Fenris answered for him. Other words like amazing and breath-taking were on the list to finish the sentence but this would do.

"Hmm, agreed," Hawke smiled, rolling on his side to face the other man and cup his cheek, looking into his eyes. "I love you so much. Did I ever tell you that? Because it's true. I do. I love you soooooooo much," he gushed, leaning in and kissing Fen all over his face, cheeks, nose, forehead, completely smothering him with smooches.

Fenris couldn’t help but giggle as Hawke made his way around his face with his lips. He grabbed Hawke’s cheeks back and planted a kiss on the tip of his nose and then drew him in to meet his lips.

“I love you too Hawke,” he replied, rubbing his thumbs against his cheeks. Each time he did this, his thumbs drew very closer to the scar that lay across the bridge of Hawke’s nose. He had always wondered about it but never brought it up. It could be a sensitive topic, he figured, and thought maybe Hawke would bring it up in his own time at some point. But he couldn’t stop himself from having his eyes drawn towards it with it being such a direct contrast in colour to the rest of Hawke’s skin.

"You like it?" Hawke asked with a smile, noting his interest in it letting his hands settle on his waist. "It's a real shiner, I know."

He wasn't particularly sensitive about this thing, not as much as other things that he could be sensitive about, he supposed. His dad always said that it gave him character. In high school, he thought it made him look tough.

“Do you…mind if I ask how you got it?” Fenris asked. That counted as Hawke bringing it up, right? Even if it did come from catching his own interest in it. At least he didn’t seem too uptight about it, that was usually a good sign. Fenris had plenty of scars of his own, mostly from the more dangerous fights in high school and others from small mishaps. But none of them were quite so prominent as Hawke’s.

"Sure, I don't mind," he cooed, propping himself up a bit to rest his chin on his hand. "In high school, I kept telling people that I got it in a fight. The reality is... sort of hilarious, actually," he rolled his eyes. "I had this boyfriend in high school, sophomore year, my first boyfriend ever. I really wanted to impress him, so I brought him over to show him the horses, because horses are big and cool I guess, you know? Well, we had this one called 'Anora'. She was a bitch, apparently, but I didn't know. She was just the one in the barn at the time. So, I got her out, I decided I'd show him how much of a Pro Cowboy I was. I got kicked in the face, she had shoes on too. Gave me a pretty nasty gash, and my nose wasn't always this big, I promise. Just didn't heal quite right, that's all."

For a moment, Fenris simply blinked wildly at him as he listened to his story. Of course. This was Hawke they were talking about. A loveable idiot he may be, but nevertheless, still an idiot at heart. Fenris leaned his forehead down onto Hawke’s shoulder, his own shoulders shaking as he stifled laughter. Kicked in the face by horse! He almost felt stupid thinking that maybe it was some kind of serious trauma.

“You are beyond ridiculous,” he said between chuckles.

Hawke laughed and pulled Fenris into his arms.

"I know," he chuckled, messing up Fen's hair and kissing the top of his forehead. "But you like it."

He was glad that he could be so open with Fenris about his embarrassing qualities without feeling insecure. Normally he'd beat himself up over stuff like this, but Fenris made it easy for him to not take himself so seriously,

“I do unfortunately,” Fenris admitted, calming down from his laughter but a smile still on his lips and snuggling closer to Hawke.  He shuffled down to rest his head on Hawke’s chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. After a second, he glanced up to meet his gaze. “Thank you for telling me anyway.”

"No need to thank me, I'm an open book," he hummed, running his fingers through the other man's hair and smoothing it against his head. "Thanks for trying to take me seriously, but I promise, most of my life is just a really big, ironic joke."

“You can always talk to me Hawke, about anything,” Fenris said, enjoying the fingers in his hair. It was soothing, relaxing, he almost found himself falling asleep just at the petting. Regardless, he meant what he said. There couldn’t have been many aspects of their life they hadn’t covered by now. Communication is key, _every_ dating advice website told him. They needed to be open with each other.

"Hmmmm.... you're tryna pull out my tragic backstory," he teased, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Well, I'm not keeping any secrets from you, babe, but we are half asleep, and I think every muscle in our body is spent beyond recognition. It's... not easy to have a serious conversation."

“You got me,” Fenris replied in the same teasing tone. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The more he settled, the more tired he felt. “Another time then.”

Of course, he wouldn’t pry anything out of Hawke he didn’t want to share. He had to admit that now he was curious, Hawke clearly implied that there was _something_. He was too tired to care now though. Not quite asleep yet but close.

Hawke joined him not long afterward, forcing the negative thoughts out of his mind as he allowed himself to fall asleep with Fenris secured tightly in his arms.


	13. Two Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a phone call, Fenris receives some devestating news from Danarius. Meanwhile, Hawke has something to ask of Sebastian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is most definitely the final event of the fic! and im so sorry in advance for the drama and pain that's about to ensue.  
> comments make us happy!
> 
> enjoy?

The next day, they both had the day off of work, so if Fenris was committed to talking, they could talk then. Not that he wanted to talk about it, per say. He would rather pretend that everything was fine, turn a blind eye, act as though he'd never seen or heard a horrible thing in his life. As if his heart had never been tainted by evil.

It was a relief to have a day off work, it meant he could lie in bed and sleep for as long as he wanted. What made it better was being all cuddled up in Hawke’s arms. When he woke, he could feel the dried semen sticking between his legs and he groaned, realising he probably should’ve at least cleaned up with a wipe before he fell asleep.

Fenris managed to sneak out of the bedroom after throwing on one of Hawke’s shirts, the kids were still fast asleep. He made breakfast for him and Hawke (admittedly it was only a couple slices of toast with raspberry jam) and a hot cup of coffee each. He carried them into the bedroom to find Hawke beginning to awaken. Carefully, he set the plate with the toast and coffee cup down on Hawke’s nightstand ready for him. Then clambered back on the bed with his own in his lap. He knew there would be crumbs in the bed after this, but he didn’t care.

Hawke shifted when he smelled the coffee, cracking open one eye and looking hatefully at the morning. He seemed to relax a little though when he saw Fenris, and he shifted in order to sit up.

"Morning," he mumbled, rubbing one of his eyes with the back of his hand. He looked at the toast and then the coffee, and his heart swelled. He could have burst into tears right there. "Oh Fen..." he reached for the coffee and immediately took a drink, sighing happily. "You shouldn't have."

“Good morning,” Fenris said with a sleepy smile, taking a bite of his toast and catching the crumbs on the plate. If he intended to ask Hawke to talk to him today, he needed to start the day off right. He would never push for anything but it seemed like he’d never know if he didn’t ask. Hawke had agreed last night that he wouldn’t hide anything from him. He could only hope he’d stay true to those words.

"Fuck, you're the best," he hummed as took a couple bites of toast, getting crumbs all over his beard but not seeming to care much. He was still as naked as he was last night, but the blankets hid everything waist down. He, in all honesty, had forgotten completely about what he'd said last night. He'd pushed it out of his mind. It's how he coped. He ignored problems instead of actually trying to solve them. It was the Hawke family tradition. Even Carver did it, especially nowadays.

"Are the kids up?" he asked, looking toward Fenris with tired eyes.

“Haven’t seen them. They’re probably still asleep,” Fenris replied, leaning over towards Hawke and planting a quick peck on his lips. Then he reached for his coffee and washed down the toast with it. There was nothing like a hot coffee and a plate full of decently-made toast. Who had the time to make big fancy meals this early in the morning anyway? Crazy people, that’s who.

"Good, I'm not ready for parenthood yet this morning," he says with a small laugh, taking another drink of his coffee. "You feeling okay? You know, I think I learned a massage once for those sore muscles."

He waggled his eyebrows a little bit, beard slowly becoming a nest of bread crumbs as he finished his toast. He loved this. Fenris was always so perfect, always surprising him, always knowing what to say to make him feel better. Fenris was great. Had he ever mentioned that? Because he was. He was the greatest.

At his words, Fenris found himself reminded of the dull ache in his lower back. His body just couldn’t take it like it used to. All that _strenuous_ activity last night made his muscles sore. He’d definitely seen better days and he blamed his age.

“I certainly wouldn’t say no to a massage,” he said, setting the plate down on the nightstand and finishing the rest of the coffee.

"Hmm... c'mere then, sit in front of me," Hawke pat a spot on the bed before him as he set his empty dishes on the night stand. Merrill always liked it when Hawke gave her massages, and it was an easy craft for him to learn. He could have probably made money off of it if he weren't so in love with his current career choice already. At least now it was coming back in handy again. "Let me work my magic."

Fenris cocked an eyebrow, looking at him dubiously. Despite that, he shuffled over to sit in front of Hawke on the bed, a narrow miss of his lap.  A good thing, considering he was naked under the covers. Fenris crossed his legs and waited for Hawke to dig his fingers in. When was the last time he had a massage? Had he ever?

Hawke cracked his knuckles a bit before leaning forward and sliding his hands gently up Fen's shirt, gently palming his lower back and unwinding those tense muscles there. Hey! He still had the hang of this. It had been a while since he'd actually put this into practice but his hands seemed to remember more than his mind.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked as he pressed his thumbs into a knot at the base of his spine, kneading it gently.

“Yeah. Did you?” Fenris replied, relaxing into Hawke’s touch. He groaned as he worked out the knots in his back. It felt so good, working out tension he didn’t even know he had. Who knew a massage could feel this great? It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Hmm, I always do when you're there," he cooed with a smile. He placed a small kiss on his shoulder as he continued to massage, letting his thoughts wonder as he did so. He was still pretty sleepy, but the breakfast had done a lot to help him to his senses. "So, we have the house to ourselves while the kids are at school. What did'ya wanna do today?"

“Do you…remember what we talked about last night?” Fenris asked, cautiously walking on eggshells. He desperately didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. But the more he dwelled on it, the more he wanted to know. In time, he could probably let it go but while Hawke seemed willing to talk to him about anything, he might as well find out.

"I remember telling you about my scar," he hummed, pausing for a moment to actually think about what they had talked about. It only took a few moments for it to hit him, and he felt his stomach turn uncomfortably at the thought. "Ooh, and you wanted to know about my 'tragic backstory'. Meaning my family, presumably, and I pushed the conversation off for later."

“Look, Hawke, you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable with it,” Fenris said, turning to look at him over his shoulder. The last thing he wanted to do was make Hawke upset. He’d never probed for information from him, he shouldn’t do it back. “If you want to just forget about it, we can just forget about it.”

"Nah, it's not that. I won't keep any secrets from you, ever," Hawke explained, not meeting Fenris's eyes, only continuing to absently massage his lower back. "I _want_ to forget about it, so I don't have to deal with it, but if we're having this committed relationship and possibly a future together, you should know about my family, at the very least."

Fenris nodded, taking a deep breath and settling into the massage. He’d let Hawke start whenever he wanted to, at his own pace. All he had to do was listen. Clearly, whatever had happened had truly hurt him and it would be difficult to talk about. He commended the fact that he was even willing to talk to him in the first place.

"So, like, first of all, I'm the oldest of three. It's me, and then the twins; Bethany and Carver," he began, brow furrowing a little bit as he spoke, shoulders stiffening. "Mom always favoured them, I was sort of the protective big brother who was never a good enough role model. You know, because I'm me. I'd beat up the kids who stole Bethany's lunch money and I got in trouble with Mom because I was going to teach my siblings that hitting people was okay. If Carver hit someone, it's because he learned it from me and I should be ashamed. Nothing I did was ever good enough. I always had to lose a little weight if I wanted to get a girlfriend someday, I had to get a real job if I wanted to find happiness, I had to try a little harder in school and stop goofing around."

He chewed the inside of his cheek, feeling his hands start to shake a bit as he continued.

"Dad was my knight in shining armour. He always supported me when she didn't, made me feel like I was good enough and that I didn't need to change who I was," he smiled at the memory. His father was the best. Fuck, he missed him. "I used to do theatre in high school too, right? Mom hated it because it was silly, and it had no benefits for my adult life. Dad loved it. He was so proud of me. He wanted to come and see one of my shows, it was... ' _Newsies_ ' I think. A drunk driver hit him on the way there, killed him instantly...." he paused again, slowly letting his hands fall back to the bed. "She dragged me out back after the show and yelled at me about how it was my fault, and how she hoped I had 'thought about what I'd done to her family'. As if it wasn't my family too."

“Hawke I’m…I’m so sorry,” Fenris said softly after a moment. He reached out and took Hawke’s hands in his, interlocking their fingers and squeezing. He couldn’t imagine what it was like to lose a family member like this. All his life, he’d had Sebastian and he didn’t need anyone else, he didn’t care. And to have his mother _blame_ him for it too? Didn’t she care about her son?

"That’s... not even everything, Fen," Hawke forced a laugh, shaking his head and looking despondently toward the floor. "Bethany died when I was a freshman in college. Somebody loaded up her alcohol with something, they never figured out what. Put her to sleep and she never woke up. No surprise, that was my fault too. Put me in a pretty serious depression, I started fooling around to try to feel something again. Then mom started being... _nice_. Like, she was actually worried about my wellbeing and she wanted to help me feel better. She came out to the school to take me to lunches, she paid for me to repair my truck, all that. Apparently, she was seeing some guy. He sent her white lilies. And..." he chewed the inside of his cheek. "Apparently there was some psychopath out there who was sending white lilies to his victims. No one thought to inform the public about it until my mom turned up missing and they were all like: 'Oh, yeah, that's this serial killer we're tryna catch. Sends white lilies to women in their late 50's and tricks them into thinking he's a charming suitor. Sorry about you, lol.' And Carver just...snapped. I was all he had left and we were always at each other's throats soooo…he just joined the Navy. And that's that."

He could feel his mouth open but no words came out. Fenris didn’t know what to say. To think he had been bottling that up for so long and things never got better with Merrill and the trouble he’d had with Sam. He’d never met someone who’d been through so much, it was like one thing after another for him. One slip sent him tumbling down the rest of that shitty hill. He had wanted to know the story but now he did, he didn’t know what to do with it.

“I…” he began, squeezing Hawke’s hand. This couldn’t be easy for him to talk about. “I’m sorry I’m not…too good at this. That’s awful, Hawke. No one deserves to go through that and…Thank you. For telling me, I know this can’t be easy for you.”

"It's not but..." he smiled, meeting Fenris's eyes. "This is the first time I really _talked_ about it. Merrill and I coped with problems by ignoring them so we just pretended we never had pasts aside from each other. It’s...good that you know that now. You'll end up meeting Carver eventually and it's easier to understand everything than just awkwardly try to fill in the holes yourself. Carver can be... an asshole. But he's a good guy. Having a niece has made him better in the same way it's made me better. Or, at least, that's the hope," he presses his lips to Fenris's fingers, kissing his knuckles. "You're also making me better."

“I’m glad,” Fenris mumbled in response. It would be nice to meet the last of Hawke’s remaining family. He had no siblings, or at least none that he knew of. The truth was he cared little for blood ties. Anything could’ve happened to his biological family but he didn’t care. As far as he was concerned, they weren’t his family. He slowly moved his hand up to cup Hawke’s cheek. “You’re a brave man.”

Hawke nuzzled Fenris's palm, holding his hand against his face.

"Ooh, shhh," he blushed, "You're exaggerating…" He grabbed Fenris pulled him into his lap, nuzzling his face into his shoulder. He felt so happy just enjoying his warmth. He'd never felt so...safe, with someone in his hold. He finally, for the first time in his life, felt like he might actually be good enough for someone. "You...make me feel...I dunno. I feel like I'm good enough. Like my mom was actually wrong about me, I guess. Like I'm not a failure."

“You’re more than good enough, I wouldn’t want you any other way. I am yours, Hawke. If that brings you comfort, then I’m glad,” Fenris said, smiling a little. He knew Hawke was emotionally sensitive but he’d had no idea his self-consciousness went so deep and understandably so. Would it be too much to kiss him? His eyes hovered over his lips for a moment. No, it’d be fine. He leaned in and kissed him gently.

Hawke could feel himself tearing up a little bit, so he gladly kissed back out of the hope that it would hide the wave of emotions coming over him. He cupped Fenris's cheeks and laced his fingers through his soft hair, savouring his taste even as it was tainted with morning breath.

" _Eewwww!!!_ "

Hawke pulled away when he heard Sam make a disgusted sound in the door way, gagging dramatically. "Gross! You guys are _gross_!"

Fenris blinked wildly, turning to look at Sam in the doorway. Then he smirked at her; “You might be kissing a boy or a girl when you’re older.” Then laughed at her disgusted face. Fenris turned back to Hawke and kissed him on the tip of the nose.

“Guess that means we have to get up,” Fenris said quietly for Hawke to hear.

"Guess so," he hummed, stretching and popping his back. "Go get your brother and get dressed, okay? You have school." He called back to Sam, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, not thinking about the words that just left his lips.

Sam paused, her jaw nearly dropping to the floor. "My _brother_?"

"Sam, you know what I meant—”  

"Adrian's my brother!" she cheered, her face lighting up like Christmas and she ran back down the hall to Adrian's room chanting over and over. " _Brother! Brother!_ "

Hawke shook his head as she left, grabbing his shirt from the floor and beginning to dress himself. "What have I done..."

“Oh, you’ve done it now. We won’t be hearing the end of this,” Fenris said, shaking his head but smiling still. He climbed off the bed, picked out some fresh clothes and gathered them in his arms. He paused, padding over to Hawke to kiss his cheek. “I’m going to shower because _someone_ made a mess last night. I’ll meet you in the living room.”

"You liked it," Hawke winked at him as he left, and dressed himself pretty quickly. Stretching, Fenris walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Hawke went out into the kitchen and started making up some oatmeal for the kids and putting food out for Burger, who was very excited to be out and about. Burger was so excited to see the kids that his whole body shook with his wagging tail. Hawke could hear them cheering about their new-found sibling relationship. Sam was talking about how it was so cool how they had two dads, and no one else would ever be able to touch them because nobody else had two whole dads. Most kids just had one.

Adrian joined in with the babbling. He sat down next to Sam, swinging his legs as he tucked into the oatmeal. It was so exciting to have a sibling! He’d never had one of those before and it was something his dad couldn’t just buy for him. If anyone was going to be his sister though, he’d want it to be Sam.

"Alright, sit down, eat breakfast," Hawke huffed, laying out the bowls for them.

“Does that mean you’re getting married?” Adrian asked, looking up at Hawke and taking another bite of his food.

Hawke froze, looking over at Fenris when he re-entered with a 'Uh, well, are we?' sort of look, almost dropping the wooden spoon in his hand. Sam and Adrian looked expectantly at Fenris, because Hawke sure as hell didn't know how to answer. He had to admit, he wouldn't mind marrying Fenris. Honestly...he would _love_ it, now that he thought about it. The idea of wearing a ring to symbolize his bond to Fenris, Fenris taking his last name. It was...fuck, it was making his stomach turn with anticipation.

Fenris stood in the doorway, fiddling with the sleeves of his sweatshirt when he noticed all three people were staring at him expecting some kind of answer. Marriage, huh? He’d never even thought about it. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about Hawke, he did, a lot. However, marriage was such a… _commitment_ and if anything went wrong it was all so messy. But…with Hawke, maybe it’d be okay.

“Uh. Maybe,” he blurted out.

Hawke could feel butterflies fluttering in his stomach at the notion, unable to contain a blush and a smile. He definitely wasn't thinking of ideas for the proposal. Nope. Not doing that. Definitely not.

"Yeah, we'll see. Don't be pushy," Hawke winked. "Now eat up or you're gonna be late. You don't wanna know what happens to the kids that are late."

“Burger can come to the wedding,” Adrian remarked, completely ignoring everything Hawke and Fenris had to say about it. He munched on the rest of his breakfast and then turned to Sam, imagination running wild. “We could put a bow tie on him!”

Fenris found himself snickering at the image the boy conjured before quickly clearing his throat.

"Alright, alright, go get in the car before you get your head in the clouds," Hawke ushered them out as he took their empty plates. He watched as Sam lead them both out with mischievous giggles, Burger tailing close behind. "I'm gonna take them up to school, wanna come?"

He grabbed his keys, leaving the topic of the hour alone, for now.

“Sure, why not,” Fenris said. He followed Hawke and the children out to the car, then helped the two giggling kids into the backseat. After, he moved around to the front and strapped himself in to the passenger side, then turned to look at Hawke with a smile and a nod.

Hawke followed right after, taking Fenris's hand and holding it as they drove. He noticed Danarius standing out front but it didn't bother him as much with Fenris holding his hand. He had other things on his mind anyways. Things he wouldn't let his paranoia ruin. They said goodbye to the kids and headed back home. On the way, though, he looked up when he noticed that Fenris's phone was ringing. Rather loudly, in fact. It caught him off guard.

Who the hell would be calling him at this time in the morning? He couldn’t help but wonder if something important had happened. Fenris didn’t even think to check the caller ID when he fished out his phone. He answered it hastily, holding it up to his ear and sparing a glance at Hawke.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other end was eerily deep, but definitely familiar. "Hello, Is this... Fenris Vael? This is Danarius, the school's principal."

Hawke couldn't quite hear the voice from the phone, but he wasn't too worried about it. As they pulled up to the house, his mind was elsewhere; wondering if it was too early to think about getting him a ring. Oh fuck, he'd also need Sebastian's _blessing_.

 “Yes, it is. How can I help?” Fenris replied. He had seen Danarius at the school gates, like he usually was every day. What did he want with him? His mind flickered back to the hand on his knee and he shuffled to bring his legs closer together on the car seat. His assumption would usually be it had something to do with Adrian but the boy had only just got to school, nothing could’ve gone wrong that fast.

Danarius had been plotting this for quite a while now, waiting for the right time. Seeing Fenris with that other man made him absolutely sick, like seeing a slug on your sidewalk when you wake up in the morning. Tainting your lawn with its slimy filth. It was revolting in every sense imaginable. "You see, our students have just completed their PARK testing, and the results have come in. It's a minor test that prepares them for the tests they will take in high school, but I would like to meet up with you sometime, outside of school perhaps, to... go over these test scores."

Fenris paused for a moment. PARK testing? Neither Adrian or Sam had found it important enough to mention it. Something didn’t feel right about the request. Outside of school too? What like a…like a date or something? He knew he was with Hawke; did he really have the nerve to…? No. It couldn’t be like that, surely.

“Uh,” he said. Make something up, Fenris. “I’m afraid I’m not free any time soon,” His jaw tensed. “If it’s that important, surely I could just come in during school hours sometime.”

Danarius felt like someone had just stuck a knife in between his shoulder blades. He frowned, grip tightening on the phone in his hand. He supposed he would have to bounce to plan B. He didn't want to have to do this, but now he was left with no choice. "Alright, that is quite understandable. The children are released early next Wednesday, come by my office then, and we can discuss it?"

“That should be fine,” Fenris replied. He wanted to breathe a long sigh of relief, glad he managed to wiggle out of that one. Something did seem fishy about it but he shook it off. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Hawke keep looking over at him. “I suppose I shall see you then, if that is all?”

"It is all," Danarius replied, smiling with relief at his small victory. "I shall see you then... _Fenris_."

And then, he hung up.

Hawke tapped his fingers a little restlessly on the wheel, humming quietly to himself. He was trying not to be anxious, but it was a little unnerving. _'Just think of what you're gonna say to Sebastian,'_ he thought. _'Think of a really nice ring you can get to impress Sebastian enough to let you marry his kid.'_

As soon as Danarius hung up, Fenris managed to finally exhale that long sigh of relief. He leaned his head back against the car seat and tucked his phone back in his pocket. Luckily, he’d managed to scrape away from that situation with just a meeting on Wednesday afternoon. That wasn’t so bad. It was much better than being forced into some awkward dinner date or something.

"What was that?" Hawke asked, arching a brow at him. _'Does Fenris look like a diamond person or a gold person?'_ He silently took in his complexion. the dark caramel tones in his skin. _'Gold, or amber. Definitely one of the two.'_

“I have to go in for a meeting about Adrian’s test scores on Wednesday,” Fenris tutted. Hawke might be at work, what was he going to do with the kids? He supposed he could drop them off with Sebastian for a little while. The meeting shouldn’t be too long.

"Hmm, I've got work that day," he pouted. "Otherwise I would totally go with you. I might even have a late one. It's Beatrice's big surgery day." 

He wondered if the meeting was with Danarius. He tried not to dwell on it, he had more positive things to think about. This was about the future, not the past. Fenris was right. Danarius was just some sleazy pervert and nothing more.

“It should be fine,” Fenris replied. Adrian always did well in school, if anything this was just going to be a meeting singing his praises as a father for raising such an intelligent little boy. Either way, he decided not to dwell on and reached over to hold Hawke’s hand again.

 

Wednesday rolled around soon enough. Hawke had already left for work in the late morning. Fenris had grumbled, huddled up on the sofa in a blanket watching television since he didn’t have work today. Usually he had a client in the evening but they’d cancelled. He kissed Hawke goodbye and spent the day watching TV until it was time to pick the kids up from school.

It was strange picking them up this early. He told them in the car that he was going to be dropping them off with Sebastian because he had a meeting at the school. The pair of them had exchanged looks but didn’t have much to say about it. More importantly, Adrian seemed to look a little sullen in the backseat of the car. He told him that he’d let a classmate borrow his favourite pencil and then he wouldn’t give it back. Sam had offered to punch the guy for him but Adrian calmed her down and told her it wasn’t worth the effort. Clearly, it was still bothering him.

Once he’d dropped the kids off at Sebastian’s house, he drove back to the school and found his way to the principal’s office. It reminded him of how he spent a lot of his high school years here being yelled at for getting into fights. At the time, he’d just shoved his hands in his pockets and ignored it, but the lingering dread of such places still stuck with him. Fenris looked around, seeing not many people at this end of the school. Clearing his throat, he knocked on the door.

Danarius felt relief flood through him with Fenris's arrival, the knock on the door was like music to his ears. He slowly rose to his feet and opened it, gesturing very gentlemanlike to one of the chairs. "Ah, Fenris, come in, please," he returned to his own chair with measured steps. "I know this must seem... strange to you, but I didn't know how else to get you to come and speak with me without arising the ire of your... of Mr. Hawke. I know it is not my business, but I could not just watch from the side lines. To help is my only intention, for your sake and Adrian's."

Fenris furrowed his eyebrows, sitting down slowly on one of the seats Danarius had offered. Just him mentioning Hawke was a bad sign. What was going on?

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

"Very wrong, I'm afraid," Danarius sighed as he finally sat down, folding his hands in his lap where he was across from Fenris. "A few weeks ago, there was a…change, in Adrian's behaviour at school. Normally he is a very happy child, always making good conversation, full of ideas. He seemed to be...stressed. Depressed. Both, perhaps. But I approached him to try to see if I could help. He... didn't want to talk, at first, but when I reminded him that I was always on his side no matter what, he just started crying. He..." Danarius paused, looking pained as he continued his story. "He told me that he'd seen your partner, Mr. Hawke, kissing another man. He said it was the babysitter, I... know not who that may be, but only that what he'd seen had upset him deeply. He told me he didn't know what to do because he feared that telling you would cause you to take him away from Sam. So, I promised that I would talk to you instead," he finished, reaching out to put a hand on Fenris's knee comfortingly. "Fenris, I am deeply, deeply sorry about this. This cannot be easy to hear."

“I…that’s ridiculous, he wouldn’t…Adrian told you this?” Fenris questioned. Hawke _cheating_ on him? It couldn’t be true. Although, he had a point. Adrian did seem upset in the car and it was a bit much to be over a silly pencil. And the _babysitter_? The only person who ever looked after the kids that wasn’t his dad was Anders. His jaw tensed. Of course. Anders. That made sense. He’d hit on Hawke in front of him shamelessly and he always had trouble pushing him away.

"He did," Danarius said disdainfully. "Not easily, mind you, he was as upset as I'd ever seen the poor boy. He was completely distraught. "I couldn't get much more details out of him than that, but... Like I said. I want what is best for Adrian and... and for you. If this man would do this to you, to your son..." he frowned. "It is not my place to say, but he is not a man at all."

Fenris glanced down at the hand on his knee and then back up to meet Danarius’s gaze. He didn’t want to believe it. Why would Hawke do something like that? It would be surprising on its own that Hawke could keep such a thing from him. Maybe he just didn’t know Hawke as well as he thought he did.

“I understand,” he said, voice a little hoarse. “Thank you for…telling me.”

"Of course," Danarius nodded, sitting back in his chair and removing his hand. "And if you need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call me."

Fenris nodded and then moved to stand up from the chair before stopping in his tracks. Then he said; “Was…this what this was about? What about Adrian’s test score?”

Danarius looked back up at him, and pursed his lips. "Yes, that is why I asked you here," he said softly. "The students don't take those tests until March, but I couldn't exactly give you this information over the phone. You have to understand that it was out of necessity."

Fenris hesitated. It did seem strange but he supposed it made sense. There was no way he could’ve known whether or not Hawke was listening to his conversation on the phone. He took a deep breath, rubbing his temples with his fingers. What was he to do with this information? He needed time to mull it over.

“I understand. I’ll be taking my leave now, thanks,” he said dryly and made his way out of the office.

The drive home was stressful. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Why would Hawke cheat on him? What had he done wrong? Their sex life was pretty healthy, Hawke always seemed content to kiss and cuddle. Was it not enough? He now understood why Danarius had wanted to speak to him so urgently, out of Hawke’s earshot. He’d hate to think Adrian was upset because of all this.

 

Hawke had managed to find a break between his shifts to send flowers back to the house for Fenris. Anders got sick, and Hawke had to take his shift too. He also decided to take this break as an opportunity to talk to Sebastian, if there ever was a chance for it. He was still in his scrubs, but he had the ring he'd purchased for Fenris in his glove box. It was solid gold band, not too flashy, but perfect for Fenris. There were a few small stones embedded into it, 4, actually. He'd requested 4 because of their family, Fenris, Hawke, Adrian, and Sam. 4 family members. In his mind, it was perfect.

He parked around the corner and knocked on the door, noticing the kids watching TV through one of the windows. He didn't want them to see him there, they couldn't keep this secret. He knew that much. He shyly knocked on the door, carefully clutching the ring box in his pocket.

Sebastian opened the door, raising his eyebrows when he saw Hawke standing there. Fenris had told him that he was going to be at work while he went to a school meeting and that’s why the kids were at his place. He supposed there was the possibility that he’d finished early and came to pick up Sam and Adrian.

“Hawke,” he said, opening the door for him. It was hard for him to not let a note of distaste leak through his speech but for Fenris’s sake, he would always be polite to him. “Have you come for the kids?”

"Hi! And uh, no, and actually if you could act like I'm not here, that would be great," Hawke put on an awkward smile. "I uh...wanted to talk to you privately. It's really important to me."

Maker, he was so nervous he felt like he was about to vomit. He only hoped that this worked, that by some sort of miracle, Sebastian would say yes.

“Oh. Of course,” Sebastian replied, stepping aside so Hawke could walk inside. He guided Hawke out back to the garden. Sebastian didn’t consider himself a gardener but he attempted to keep up with the plants that Fenris had taken care of before he moved out. He gestured to two chairs and took a seat on one of them. “What did you want to talk about?”

"Well, Sebastian, I don't know if you want me to bare my heart to you here but," Hawke cleared his throat, pulling the ring box out of his pocket and holding it out. Fuck, he was about to _faint_. "I...wanted to do things the right way. I wanted your...your blessing. To marry Fenris."

Sebastian blinked wildly, looking at Hawke. There were many things he thought of Hawke, some more pleasant than others. However, one thing he didn’t expect was this. The gesture was thoughtful and kind and…beyond respectful. Things were going well then, he assumed as he looked down at the ring box. The ring looked expensive. Hawke didn’t exactly come from a wealthy family judging by his home, he must’ve spent a lot of his money on that ring.

“You wish to marry him?” he repeated, wanting him to expand further before he said anything else. Hawke felt his mouth go dry. Right. This was the heart baring part.

"Yes, I do," he swallowed, trying to keep eye contact. "I know you love Fenris, he's your son. You put a lot of hard work into raising him and I understand how hard it must be to see him with someone like me. I have a daughter, if she wanted to marry someone it'd be hard to me to let her go too. But...I love Fenris. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and I want him and Adrian to be my family. I want a promise of a future together, to raise our children together, and..." he paused, knowing he'd start crying if he continued. "Everything that comes with it. I would never hurt him, not even if someone put a gun to my head."

If there was one thing he could tell about Hawke, it was that his words were incredibly heartfelt. There had not been a single relationship in Fenris’s life that he had entirely approved of. As a teenager, he messed around with the wrong crowds and while he was fooling around with Isabela, he had warned him of the consequences. Being still young and foolish, he didn’t listen and that was how he ended up with Adrian on his hands. Sebastian knew how difficult things would end up for him once he had that child and it proved true until Hawke came along with a child of his own.

“I want to believe you Hawke,” Sebastian said, looking him over. “I sincerely hope you mean those words, I would be a fool not to give my blessing to anyone who truly feels that way about Fenris.”

"So...that's a yes?" Hawke smiled, relief flooding over his features. "You'll give me your blessing?"

He couldn't believe it, he felt like, in this very moment, his every dream was finally starting to come true and the perfect future he'd envisioned for himself was finally becoming a reality. Him and Fenris, happily ever after, raising their two kids together with Burger in tow.

“Yes. Garrett Hawke, I give you my blessing,” Sebastian said, nodding. He smiled, directly meeting his eyes. “But if you _do_ ever hurt him, I won’t hesitate to gut you.”

"If I do that, _please_ gut me," he laughed standing up and putting the ring back in his pocket. "I have to get back to work before I'm missed. Thank you, Sebastian, I promise you won't regret this."

He kneeled down to pull the older man into a huge bear hug, before eventually releasing him and dashing back out to his car before the kids could get a chance to spot him. Tonight, would be perfect, he just had to make it through the proposal.

Returning to work was hell, to say the least. He was so anxious to get home and talk to Fenris. He had the whole thing planned in his head. How he wanted to take Fenris to the ice cream shop that the children loved, and propose to him right there in the same booth they sat in on the day that they met. It was simple, but very cheesy and romantic. Perfect, if you asked him. He knew Fenris would love it. Or at least, that was the hope.

 

Fenris picked the kids up from Sebastian’s house. Sebastian seemed more smiley than usual, a twinkle in his eye as he handed the children over. Adrian seemed to be feeling a bit better judging by his expression. He drove the kids home and let them run off to play. He set the car keys down and sighed, then noticed the flowers. With a concerned expression, he picked up the note. Home late huh? At work? With Anders? Fenris could feel his teeth grinding against one another and in his frustration, he threw both the flowers and the note out.  He and Hawke needed to _talk._

It wasn't too late when Hawke finally got home, around 8 or so. The ice cream shop would still be open for two hours at least. Just enough time. He pulled up to the house and whistled happily to himself. He didn't think he'd ever been so happy to be home, to see the kids, to see Fenris. He opened the door, swirling the keys around his finger and grinning from ear to ear.

"Hello, my love," he sung as he saw Fenris in the kitchen. He noticed that his flowers weren't there and he frowned. Had they not been delivered? Those fuckers, the one time he actually left them a tip...He snuck up behind the other man and wound his arms around his waist, burying his face in his shoulder and appreciating the scent of him.

Fenris jumped at the feel of Hawke’s arms around his waist. So, he was finally home. He knew confronting him about the issue wasn’t going to be easy, these conversations never were. What was he going to do if Hawke was cheating on him and admitted to it? He couldn’t stay with someone like that. There was nothing to say he wouldn’t do it again if so.

“Hawke,” he said, voice flat before carefully prying Hawke’s hands off his waist. “Did you have a good time at work?”

Hawke looked visually confused, very confused.

"It was...O...kay," he pursed his lips. Did he smell? Maybe he should have put on cologne or something. Shady Oaks wasn't exactly a nice fragrance. "Beatrice is doing okay after the surgery. Okay as she can. Listen, though, I was... thinking. Maybe we should go out, spend some time together. We haven't been on a date in a while now."

He took Fenris's hands in his own and ran his thumb over his knuckles, placing gentle kisses on his fingertips. Watching him kiss his hands, Fenris frowned. Why did he have to make things difficult? Once again, he had to pull away from him, this time taking a step back to put distance between them. Surely, he understood the concept of boundaries by now and he clearly didn’t want to be kissed and cuddled right now.

“Actually. I think we need to talk,” he said with an icy tone.

Hawke looked up at him with the expression of a kicked puppy, looking over, he noticed his flowers in the garbage can and his heart sank. What did he do wrong? He...He thought he was doing everything right. Fenris had never complained about him being home late before.

"Okay..." he looked back up at his boyfriend with a furrowed brow. "What's going on, babe?"

Fenris pressed his lips together. How did you bring this up? He could always be direct and accuse him of cheating right off the bat. But it…it didn’t seem _right_. Fenris clenched and unclenched his fists by his sides.

“Adrian’s been upset. Have you noticed?” he asked.

Hawke took a seat at one of the stools by the counter, looking back at the flowers in the trash can and his gaze lingering there.

"I... a little. I never got the chance to ask him about it though," he admitted. Was that what this was about? Was Fenris upset because he didn't talk to Adrian about his feelings? Maker... he was so confused. "I uh... not dodging the topic but...what was wrong with the flowers?"

“The flowers don’t matter,” Fenris snapped. He took in Hawke’s flinch and sighed, leaning against the counter and running his fingers through his hair. This was difficult, he was no good at this. “Adrian’s upset. He had a total meltdown at school. He seems to think you’re cheating on me with Anders. So, I’ll just ask you. Are you cheating on me?”

Hawke gaped, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. Fenris thought that he was...What? _What?_ Adrian liked him enough to want him to be his second father, why would he tell those sorts of lies? That was so out of his character.

"What?" he stammered, hardly able to make words with his mouth. "Are you.... are you serious?" Here he was, ready to propose to this man and here he was accusing him of cheating? What the actual hell was going on?

“Do I look like I’m joking to you?” Fenris retorted, folding his arms over his chest. Surely his first instinct should be to tell him no, not to dodge the question. He could feel his blood boiling. How could he do this to him? After everything they’d had together, it all came down to this ridiculous mess?

"So, you think _that_ little of me?" Hawke asked, his shock and grief turning into anger now, his cheeks starting to burn. "You think that...that after everything that we've been through that I would—that I would... with _Anders_?!" He shook his head and stood up, the chair nearly falling to the ground. It righted itself, thankfully, but only by a miracle. "No, Fenris. I'm not cheating on you, and I'm really hurt that you would even think that."

“You’re home late, you’re dodging questions. Adrian’s upset and I’m inclined to believe the kid I’ve raised for the whole 7 years of his life. I’ve seen how Anders is with you. Any normal person would get the hint you weren’t interested and to do it _in front_ _of me_ like I’m some kind of idiot! It’d make sense you were encouraging it. What, am I supposed to believe it’s a coincidence when he works with you?” Fenris exclaimed.

"Yes! Yes, you are!" he snapped right back, whirling around to face him. "I-I didn't even see Anders tonight. He called off work and he's the reason why I couldn't make it home. And Beatrice had _brain surgery_. I…" he paused and his lips slowly fell closed, forming a tight line across his features. "You know what? It doesn't matter. You're already dead set in your thinking, aren't you? You're already completely convinced and it doesn't matter what I fucking say, does it?"

Fenris desperately grabbed hold of the bottom of the countertop. He was fighting every teenage instinct to turn anger into violence. He was better than this, he didn’t want to hit Hawke. But Maker, he was making it difficult. The man was so defensive about it, it only made him seem guiltier.

“So, what, you’re calling me _delusional_ now?” he asked, tightening his fists. “Am I crazy, Hawke?”

"No, not crazy," Hawke shook his head, grinding his teeth together. He could see the tightening of the other man's muscles, at this point, he wanted Fenris to hit him. To prove to him just how stupid this whole thing was. He stepped closer, looming over Fenris with his ridiculous height. When he spoke next, his voice was low, quiet, eerily calm. "Just hard-headed as all hell, and extremely misguided."

He wanted to. Maker, he wanted to. He knew how satisfying it would feel right now to slam his fist into his jaw. Even as he crept close, purposefully trying to antagonise him as he insulted him and got in his personal space. He was playing him like a fool, taunting him like one might a wild dog. But he wouldn’t, he couldn’t.

“I see how it is Hawke. Take him then! Your little shit-eating blonde whore. Adrian’s already asleep, I’m spending a few days at my dad’s. I’ll come for Adrian in the morning,” he spat, pushing past Hawke before he could no longer control his anger and grabbing his car keys off the side.

As Fenris stormed out and slammed the door after him, Hawke turned and knocked the chair he'd been sitting in earlier onto the ground. He felt a sudden chill wash over him, and his knees grew weak. With a single buckle, he collapsed to the ground, pulling the ring box out of his pocket and chucking that across the floor as well. The tears came before he could stop them, and he was crying his eyes out onto the kitchen tile. After everything he'd done for Fenris, after all the work that had been put into this relationship, all it took was this. The love of his life was gone. What had he done wrong? What had he done to make Fenris or even Adrian think that he was cheating? He would never cheat on Fenris, as if he could find someone else. Someone better. Did Anders set this up? No. He wasn't that desperate. Who then? Who hated him enough to do this to him?


	14. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danarius gets what he always wanted during Fenris's distress but the aftermath makes Fenris realise what a mistake he's made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy this chapter is what warrants the rape/non-con tag. there isnt anything graphic but there's a lot of talk and implications of it!
> 
> and so we finally reach our conclusion! there will be one more chapter; an epilogue of sorts. thanks for sticking with us!
> 
> comments make us happy! enjoy! <3

Hawke laid on the floor for what felt like hours until he just couldn't cry anymore. He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, Taylor Swift singing into the quiet, empty kitchen air. He groaned and answered it, holding the phone up to his ear.

"Garrett Hawke," he groaned, the floor making an imprint on his cheek.

"Hey, Hawke! So, what's the big scoop? Did he say yes?" Varric's voice was normally a sweet thing to hear, now it was a reminder of the events of the hour before.

"He thinks I'm cheating," he answered hoarsely. "With Anders."

"Blondie?! Okay. Hawke. Tell me everything."

So, he did. From start to finish, and Varric sounded just as confused as Hawke felt, but there was definitely an anger to his voice. Varric was decidedly very protective of Hawk, so this anger was understood.

"Hawke, there is something wrong there. It doesn't make any fucking sense."

"I know. How do you think I feel?"

"Listen, Garrett, if he's going to believe whoever it was at the school that told him this bullshit, then he's not worth it. He should know you're the most loyal person on the face of the fucking earth at this point. You gave him your _home_ for fuck's sake. You gave him everything and didn't ask for shit in return. The fact that he would even believe you would choose someone else over him it's just so fucking," Varric lets out a short, tight breathe. "It's bullshit, Hawke."

"Varric, I don't know what to do. I can't, I- I—”  

"Hawke, I'm coming over. We're watching Transformers 2 and eating pizza until you can't physically can't fit anymore pizza into your body. Got it?"

"Varric, you don't have to—”

"Too late, I'm in the car. See you in a bit."

When the phone line cut, Hawke let himself remain on the floor. There was a small wet spot from where he'd been crying but he didn't have the strength to mind it. And, despite this, he felt himself wanting to reach out to Fenris for comfort. He wanted Fenris to hold him while he cried and tell him that everything would be alright. How could this even be real?

 

By the time Fenris reached Sebastian’s house, he was still seething. He got out of the car, slamming the door shut a bit too hard and marching over to the front door. After a deep breath, he knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

“Fenris?” Sebastian greeted once he opened the door, confused at his presence. He looked him over, his shoulders rigid and his hand so deep in his pockets he threatened to tear right through them. On all accounts, he looked miserable.

“I think Hawke is cheating on me,” Fenris said bluntly. Sebastian frowned. Well, that wasn’t what he was expecting. Especially not after Hawke’s visit. He simply told him to come inside so they could talk.

Sebastian made Fenris a cup of hot tea and they sat down together in the living room on the sofa. The tea relaxed some of his nerves, he felt calmer here with his dad than he had in Hawke’s house. After they sat in silence for a little while, Sebastian eventually prompted him to expand on what he had said in the doorway. Fenris sighed, setting the cup of tea down on the coffee table and explained to him what he’d been told at the school and the conversation he had with Hawke when he got home. Sebastian nodded along, listening closely to what he had to say.

“And that’s it. I left and I came straight here,” Fenris finished, burying his hands in his lap. He looked down, then up at Sebastian. “I just…I don’t understand how he could do that to me or Adrian. Everything was going so well I…”

He was pulled tightly into Sebastian’s arms. Fenris settled, leaning his face against his shoulder and melting into the hug. Sebastian rubbed his back and it was a good reminder as to why he would always come to his dad for help with these things. He always knew what to do and how to make him feel better.

“You made the right choice coming here. Listen to your heart to make the right decision,” Sebastian said, gently pulling away and patting Fenris’s shoulder. Fenris sniffled a little and reached for his tea to distract himself from the weight in his throat. “I admit though I am confused. Hawke visited earlier today on his break at work. He asked me for my blessing to marry you, he had a ring and everything.”

“A…ring?” Fenris repeated. Sebastian nodded.

“If he’s cheating on you Fenris, it makes me sick. He betrayed all of our trust. I can’t believe he wanted to make you commit when he’s off dallying with other men,” he said. Fenris looked down into his tea. “You deserve better.”

It was a comfort to hear it from his dad. He nodded slowly and drank the rest of his tea. The two of them chatted for a while longer and Fenris told him of his plans to pick up Adrian in the morning. Once tired enough, Sebastian showed him to the room he had before he moved out, somewhat surprised to see it still the same. They said their goodnights and Fenris laid down on the bed, his first night without Hawke’s arms around him in a long time.

It was cold and lonely.

 

True to his word, Fenris picked up Adrian the following morning. He didn’t speak to Hawke. Adrian didn’t want to go, upset that he was going to be parted from Sam. But once they were in the car, Fenris told him it’ll only be for a little while. A lie, straight through his teeth, and Adrian seemed to catch on, but he didn’t say anything. He only huffed and looked out the car window. Great, now Hawke and his son were mad at him. But it wasn’t Adrian’s fault, he was a kid.

Fenris was itching to get out of the space of his own head. A couple days living back with his dad and he found himself putting on his jacket and heading out. Adrian was fine under Sebastian’s care and it wasn’t like he never saw Sam, they still were friends and went to school together. He still couldn’t believe things had ended up like this. He arrived at a local bar, ready to knock himself unconscious with alcohol. At least then he wouldn’t have to think. Hastily, he sat down at the bar and ordered himself a drink.

When Danarius saw Fenris sitting at the counter, he felt pride well in his chest as he _knew_ that everything was happening just as he'd planned it to. Hawke and Fenris has broken up, and Fenris was here alone. He waved down the bar tender.

"Put it on my tab, please," he cooed, taking the empty seat right beside Fenris. Maker, he could smell him from here. It was perfect, completely intoxicating. That _bear_ didn't deserve a man like Fenris, a walking work of art. "I didn't... expect to see you here," he commented, watching as the bar tender slid Fenris a few more shots. "How are you doing?"

Fenris leaned on his hand, elbow on the bar top. He glanced at the shot that had been slid his way and then over at Danarius. He must’ve been the one who bought him the drinks. Then it registered in his mind that he’d been asked a question.

“Didn’t expect to see you either,” he said, reaching for one of the shots and downing it. “Not great, to answer your question.”

"I'm sorry, I should have been more sensitive," Danarius sighed, downing his own shot and looking past Fenris, toward the other side of the bar, as if lost in thought. "You're going through a very difficult situation. I won't ask you to discuss it with me, if you don't want to, but if there's any way I can help, I would do anything."

“I drink to forget,” Fenris replied simply, downing another shot. So long as Danarius was offering him free drinks, he was going to take them. “What are you doing here anyway? Weird place for a school teacher to be. Shouldn’t you be at home…” He waved his hand towards him. “I don’t know, marking homework or something?”

Danarius chuckled.

"Most would think so, but I find myself here on occasion," he said thoughtfully, taking another shot as the bartender brought them more. "I enjoy making conversation with some of the people here. A lot of them tell good stories."

A lie. He only started coming here for the hope that Fenris would show up. And, here he was. Everything was going to go smoothly, right along with his plan.

“Fair enough. I just like the alcohol,” Fenris replied, noticing the next lot of shots come his way. He’d come here to get drunk off his ass and if Danarius wanted to pay for it, well, he could hardly say no. Only feeding into his bad habits. He reached for another shot and drank it, then another.

Danarius watched him get slowly more and more intoxicated, and he could feel himself becoming restless just watching it.

"Careful there, or you won’t be able to drive home," Danarius hummed. He figured Fenris was drunk enough for flattery now, so he didn't hold back. "Hawke doesn't know what he's missing with you. You're a sight worth cherishing, worshipping. What he did? I would _never_ do that to you."

“I walked, it’s fine,” Fenris said with a snort of derisive laughter and reached for another shot to down. His mind was getting a little fuzzy now, stomach swimming as the world turned around him. Good. This was good. He didn’t have to think, didn’t want to. Then Danarius mentioned Hawke’s name. “Yeah. Well. Hawke can kiss my ass.”

Danarius laughed again.

"I like that fire," he hummed, taking another shot as he gestured to the bar tender for another round. Fenris was beautiful like this. He wanted to see more of him, and soon. His patience had begun to wear thin. "I have much better wine than this at my place. You should come along."

“Nah I’m…I’m good, I think. Thanks though,” Fenris waved him off, knowing faintly in the back of his mind that running off with some guy he hardly knew was a bad idea. He kept drinking however, taking the shots in stride until he was finding it hard to focus on much at all. Stumbling slightly, he stood up from the bar stool. “I gotta uh…yeah.”

He gestured loosely towards the bathroom and began walking that way, almost tripping over his own feet a couple times.

"Here, let me help you,” Danarius rose from his seat and wound an arm around Fenris's waist. He walked him toward the bathroom, already feeling victorious. He needed to get him back to his house, though. Perhaps they could walk home together. Fenris couldn't find his house in the dark, he wouldn't notice if Danarius lead him another way. "I told you that you oughta slow down there," he laughed as they entered the men's room. "You're a hot mess, friend."

There wasn’t much he could do the protest the help, so Fenris let him walk him to the bathroom. It was empty for what he could tell and the ‘hot mess’ comment seemed to fly right over his head as he stumbled over to one of the urinals. He really had drank quite a lot. Shots were so high in alcohol volume and he’d had…a lot of them. They were going straight to his head and it was amazing he didn’t piss all over the walls with the way his body felt like it was swaying from side to side.

"I'll help you get home, you'll pass out in a ditch otherwise," Danarius huffed as the other man finished, throwing his arm back over his shoulder again. He felt so warm under his touch, so soft. "What street do you live on? I can get you there."

Fenris grunted and gave him Sebastian’s address. Arguably, a bad choice but he was too drunk to consider that. He let Danarius walk him out into the open air which slightly alerted his senses, but not enough to adapt to the darkness. Ultimately, he stumbled whichever way Danarius took him. Was he going to pass out? He felt like he was going to pass out.

Danarius, ignoring the address completely, walked Fenris to his own house instead. Which, admittedly wasn't far from the address Fenris gave, so the change of direction was nonchalant. He opened the door for the both of them, and as soon as it was closed, he pressed Fenris against the nearest wall and captured his lips with his own. It was hasty, impatient, lacking in passion and sloppy but this was the moment Danarius had been waiting for. Ever since he first saw this man in the park, he'd been relishing for this day.

Everything happened in a rush. Fenris’s hands felt the back of the wall. This wasn’t the right house, he hadn’t reached for his keys and he was inside. There should be a plant here, right next to his foot, but there was nothing. Confusion quickly snapped into panic as he was kissed, he squirmed under the touch. His hands rested on Danarius’s chest, no strength behind his arms to push him off. But it was all too much and everything happened far too fast.

His memory blurred by the pain cut through.

 

"Your house is just down the road," Danarius hummed, grabbing Fenris's clothes and gently tossing them towards him. "I'll get you there, don't want to leave you here alone when I leave in the morning." He had plans to find Fenris again later, but for now, he was more than satisfied. Seeing Fenris spent and sprawled out on his bed, it was absolutely lovely. He would have a real conversation with him later about their future together but for now, Fenris needed to be home more than anything else. "Go on, get dressed."

It was like he’d regressed back to his childhood, sniffling as his sober mind started to push through. He reached for the clothes that had been thrown at him and shakily began putting them on once he’d sat up on the bed.  It was nice to feel the warmth of his clothes again, hugging them tight against his skin as he wrapped his own arms around himself. His gaze was focused down on the floor, bottom lip quivering so much he couldn’t speak.

Danarius smirked at him, extremely content with his work as he led Fenris out to his car and drove him down the road to Sebastian's house. He dropped him off at enough distance that his own car wouldn't be noticed, but that Fenris wouldn't have to walk far, and then, with that, he was gone. He took note of the house's location for a later date, ready to investigate his cameras and salvage his loot for the night's victory.

The moment Fenris got in the house, he took a deep breath and wiped away some of the angry tears that had slipped down his cheeks. He needed to clean up, desperately. It didn’t matter what time it was, he threw off of his clothes once he reached the bathroom and turned the shower on. He ended up sat at the bottom of the shower, letting the water rush down over him. It brought him to his senses, fully sobering up. At the sight of fluids trickling out of him and down the drain, he wanted to gag. When he finally got the motivation to clean up, he scrubbed at his skin until it was red and raw. It was like there was a layer of filth he just couldn’t quite remove.

Fenris was happy when he finally fell asleep that night and was miserable when he finally woke up. He could smell cooking downstairs and wondered if Sebastian was making breakfast. Begrudgingly, he dressed, sparing a glance at the pile of clothes from last night and wondering if he could ever bear to wear them again. His head throbbed from his hangover, he needed some painkillers. He stepped down the stairs only to overhear Adrian and Sebastian chatting in the kitchen.

Adrian sat at the table, watching his grandfather cook as he swung his legs beneath him, toying absently with his silverware.

"Hey grandpa," he cooed, pushing himself up a bit to fully see over the table, twirling a spoon absently in one of his hands. "Why can't I live with Sam anymore? Did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble?"

In all honesty, he couldn't wrap his head around it. Everything was so good, they were so happy. Hawke said that he might ask Fenris to marry him and then... this happened. He didn't understand it. It was too much and too little all at once.

“Because Sam’s dad wasn’t very nice to your dad. He was cheating on him, with someone else when he’s supposed to be with your dad,” Sebastian answered calmly, like he’d rehearsed in a hundred times over. Fenris frowned as he was reminded but stepped a bit closer to hear Adrian’s reply.

Adrian paused, looking extremely confused. ...Cheating? This person that his grandfather was describing to him just now definitely wasn't the Garrett Hawke he knew. It _wasn't_ the Garrett Hawke who always picked him up for hugs, who tucked him in at night despite the fact that Adrian wasn't technically his child, who told really bad jokes, and spoiled his dad with constant dates and cheesy gifts. There was no way that this could be the truth. It didn't piece together at all.

"No, you're wrong," he said, rather firmly, in fact. "Mr. Hawke _loves_ my dad. He would never do anything to hurt him. He said I was gonna be Sam's brother! There is no way that's true. There's _no way_." He puffed his cheeks and looked toward the table, brows furrowed. "No way."

“Changed your mind, have you?” Sebastian asked, raising his eyebrows. The realisation hit Fenris that he never even asked Adrian directly whether or not it was true. He was too worried about making him upset, that he might not want to tell him the truth because of splitting up him and Sam. In retrospect however, he did that anyway. Then Sebastian spoke again. “Here I thought you were the one who was upset about it. Everyone thinks you’re the one who saw it happen.”

Adrian gaped, looking absolutely stunned.

"What? _No!_ The only one I've ever seen Hawke with is my dad and that's who he _belongs_ with." He sounded suddenly very defensive, tears welling in the poor boy’s eyes as he looked around, as if trying to find the answers to all the questions whirring in his head. "I don't understand. I would never tell a lie. Dad said lying is bad. I don't lie."

“Hmm strange indeed,” Sebastian replied, turning after dishing out Adrian’s breakfast. He placed it in front of him and ran his fingers gently through his hair. “It’s alright, I believe you. Eat your breakfast, we’ll sort all this out later.”

Fenris leaned against the wall, holding his stomach as nausea built inside it. Of course. It was starting to all make sense. Danarius had been the one who hold him about this. He’d deluded himself into believing it with little coincidences. All because he wanted to…he wanted to…Fenris’s memory of the night before was still a bit fuzzy but he remembered _enough_ to feel sick. He’d hurt Hawke because of this, he didn’t deserve any of his anger. Then he had the nerve to let another man…

“Fenris?” Sebastian’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up at him. “Maker you’re as white as a sheet, are you okay?”

“I’ve…made a mistake, haven’t I? I didn’t even ask Adrian I…I need to fix this, somehow,” Fenris replied, shaking his head.

Sebastian reached out to rub Fenris’s shoulder, but he jerked away. He frowned, looking at him questioningly. He said; “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Last night I…it doesn’t matter. I need…I need to go out,” Fenris said, moving his hand to rub over where Sebastian had reached to touch him. He needed to apologise, work something out with Hawke. That was…if he’d even talk to him. He wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want anything to do with him now.

“It’s pouring with rain out there,” Sebastian commented, gesturing towards the window. But Fenris just commented about how he didn’t care and walked out the door.

 

To say the very least, the last week or so for Hawke had been... rough. He was hardly able to come to work, so sick with grief that even Sam had taken to mulling over him like a mother hen: forcing him to stay in bed, trying her best to make soup (though it was just hot water with some potato chips in it), and reading him stories (like he'd always done for her whenever she got sick). Varric had found the ring for him and tried to make an offer to take it to the pawn shop for Hawke but he refused to allow it. He insisted on keeping the ring, despite Varric's suggestions, and it had been sitting on his night stand—haunting him.

They had been together for so long, how was Hawke supposed to remember what his routine was without him? Sleeping at night while Fenris's side of the bed had been empty, while his arms were vacant and cold, it was almost impossible. Today had even been one of the first few days he'd started going back to work again, a late shift, to no one's surprise. So, Sam had stayed at Aveline and Donnic's for the night. Her only complaint being that she couldn't be at home to look after her father when he finally did return from work.

 

_This is stupid,_ Fenris thought to himself as he purchased the same kind of flowers Hawke had bought him the day he accused him of cheating. Who in their right mind would take him back after all of this? Hawke had been his best shot at happiness and he’d ruined it, just like that. He was half-tempted to grovel at Hawke’s feet.

Flowers in hand, he checked the time. Hawke would usually finish his shift in half an hour. He was already soaked through with the rain, not bothering to take an umbrella. Most of the day he’d dwelled in a café, drinking coffee and trying to make sense of everything and what he was going to do. He left the shop with the flowers and made his way to Hawke’s house.

Looking around, he couldn’t see any sign of Hawke’s car. Likely still at work then. He knocked on the door anyway, just in case, but got no answer. Definitely not at home. Unless of course, he saw it was him out the window and decided not to answer. Fenris waited for a while, swaying on his feet. After a couple hours passed, he sat down on the porch and left the flowers next to him. Hawke was late, he thought as he rested his arms on his knees. Maybe it wasn’t worth it, maybe he just didn’t want to see him. He wouldn’t have blamed him.

It was not long past sunset when Hawke did finally arrive home. He noticed a figure on his doorstep in the rain, bright colours peaking from his side. After pulling into the driveway, he realised that the figure was Fenris, and the colours had been a bouquet of flowers sitting at his side. His heart throbbed painfully in his chest at seeing the other man soaked to his core in this rain, shuddering pitifully on his doorstep. How long had he been there? Maker, what if he managed to get hypothermia or something? What would he do then?

Hawke hurriedly shut off his car and clambered out of it, slamming it shut behind him. The rain easily began to dampen his soft cotton scrubs, but he didn't care, he practically ran around the car to get to Fenris, helping him to his feet while simultaneously fumbling with the locked door.

"Andraste's tits, Fenris, what the hell are you doing?" he shook his head as the door finally came open and he practically drug the other man inside. "You'll get sick as hell. How long were you even out there? _Why_ were you out there?" So many questions were rushing through his mind as he sat Fenris on the couch. "Wait just, don't answer that yet, let me get you some clothes. And a towel."

He returned with said items before too long, wrapping Fenris up in the warm cloth and drying his hair as though he were a puppy that had fallen into the mud. He sat back after that, taking another moment to observe the state his ex-lover was in. "Maker, what were you doing out there? You could have gotten hypothermia, or gone into a state of shock. I would've had to call an ambulance for you."

Fenris sniffled, drawing the cloth tighter around himself. Once again, Hawke was running after him and being inconvenienced by him. He’d initially flinched violently when Hawke had first touched him, but he willed himself to calm down into a more docile state. The flowers had been left on the counter, still dripping wet from the rain.

“I…wanted to apologise,” he said. It felt like there was a stone in his throat making it hard to talk. His gaze was cast down at the floor, still trembling. “I’m sorry for accusing you of things that weren’t true. I-I’m sorry I hurt you. You don’t have to forgive me, I just want you to know I’m sorry. If you want me to leave and never see you again, I will. I’ll go. I’ll move out of town, whatever you want. I’m…I’ve fucked up, I know.”

Hawke listened to him speak with the expression of a deer in headlights, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. Fenris was...admitting that he was wrong? This was strange, though definitely not unwelcome. He couldn't help but wonder what brought this on, what made him come to this realization.

"Fenris, I—" he didn't know what to say, or how he was supposed to feel. His instincts said to forgive him instantly, pull him into his arms, and shower him with millions of kisses until all of his self-doubt washed away. "What _happened_? You have to tell me everything."

“I heard my dad and Adrian talking this morning. Adrian, he…he avidly defended you when my dad accused you of cheating. Maybe you don’t want to hear it, but he loves you like a second father. And I…I don’t know, I guess I just never asked him about it. I didn’t want to upset him and…I was afraid I wouldn’t like what he had to say. That was my mistake,” Fenris began, shifting on the couch. Now came the hard part. Hawke had to know what happened between him and Danarius, even if it meant he’d never want to touch him again. Even if he dumped him for the cheating whore he was. “But there’s…something else. It was Danarius, the principal, who told me that Adrian had been upset about it. I should’ve known something was wrong but I just…at the time it made a lot of sense,” He felt sick just mentioning his name. And when he spoke again, his voice seemed to crack. “While I was at my dad’s I…I was upset so I went out to a bar to have a drink and he was there.”

Fenris could feel the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. He angrily began to wipe them away with his palms. It was humiliating, crying like this in front of Hawke. Regardless, he continued with a hoarse voice; “H-He was…talking to me and buying me drinks and I just kept drinking. My memory is…patchy, I don’t remember a lot of it, but he took me to his house and he…he…I’m so sorry, Hawke. I-I accused you of…of this and here I am. If you think I’m disgusting, I understand. You don’t owe me anything.”

Hawke listened patiently and as he did, he felt himself becoming increasingly angrier. Not at Fenris, but at Danarius. He'd successfully found his way to snake in between their relationship, and into Fenris's pants. It made him sick. He wanted to find that man's house, walk out there, and knock all of his teeth right out where he stood.

"Fenris you... Maker," he shook his head and took a seat on the couch beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him against his chest. He was so cold, he couldn't believe it. He ran his hands up and down his arms to try and warm them. "You didn't cheat on me Fenris, none of this is your fault. Danarius he...Jesus, Fenris, that's rape. You were raped." He chewed the inside of his cheek. "If it's the last thing I do, I'm throwing that asshole in jail, prison. I'll never let anyone ever touch you again. They'll have to bury me first."

Fenris choked a little on a sob, trembling in Hawke’s arms. He shook his head, fingers digging into the material of Hawke’s shirt. There was probably snot everywhere, having a difficult time trying to fight off the tears. In a weak voice, he protested; “That’s…ridiculous. I didn’t…I didn’t say no. I couldn’t…didn’t fight him off. I even…I even…”

"Shhhh... Fenris, shh," he held him more tightly. "I bet that asshole got you so drunk that you couldn't say no if you wanted to. He did that on purpose. It doesn't change the fact that it was rape." He ran his thumb across his cheek to wipe off the tears and used his sleeve to clean Fenris's face of his snot. Fuck, he was such a mess. What sick bastard would will this on him? Will this on anyone? It was fucked up. "Fenris, I love you. None of this changes that fact. Not even...not even Danarius. In fact, it made me realise just how much I loved you. None of this is your fault. None of it."

For a little longer, Fenris simply just let Hawke hold him while he exhausted himself. The tears eventually stopped coming and he was content to just stay wrapped up in Hawke’s arms. He had forgotten how warm and comforting it was. After a moment of silence, Fenris sniffled again and wiped his wet cheeks.

“What does this mean? I mean, for us?” Fenris asked slowly.

"Well..." Hawke paused for a moment, looking down at Fenris and meeting his eyes, momentarily imagining himself swimming in those pools of green and never coming out. This wasn't really how Hawke wanted to do it, but he couldn't just abandon the thought completely. He shifted a little to get Fenris out of his arms so that he could stand up, heading toward the hallway. "Stay right there, don't move."

He hurried into his room and when he found his prize where it was supposed to be, he snatched it up and rushed back into the main room, kneeling before Fenris on one knee. It was textbook, but if Hawke knew anything about himself, it was that he was all for cheesy textbook romance.

"I was thinking, that is... if this Danarius thing hasn't fucked _too much_ up for us..." he pulled the ring box from his pocket and popped it open, holding it towards Fenris with a single extended hand, forcing a small, puppy dog smile. "I was... going to ask if you would marry me."

“Hawke, I…I…” Fenris stammered, looking down at the ring in his hand. There had been many showy declarations of love throughout history, people making great big scenes out of marriage proposals and he could easily imagine Hawke being the type. But right now, right here, on his knee asking him to marry him while he was drenched from the rain, barely stopped crying and covered in tears and snot. That alone was more meaningful than anything. Fenris smiled, wiping some excess tears with his thumb. “Yes. Okay. I’ll…I’ll marry you, if you’ll have me.”

Hawke's heart could have burst right there, and he could have died right there on that floor and have absolutely no regrets what so ever. He shook his head and grinned, unable to keep it in any longer as he closed the space between them and pulled Fenris's wet form into his arms, capturing his lips in his own and cupping his face with warm, calloused hands.

"Of course, I'll have you," he murmured between breaths. "There's no one else I'd want to have more."

Fenris grabbed hold of him, nails digging into the back of his shirt as he buried his face into Hawke’s chest. He couldn’t help but laugh a little, worried he was going to start crying again. His shoulders shook in his arms, wondering what he did to deserve someone like Hawke. This was more than he could ask for, more than he was worth, but he held no regrets. Things were going to work out, after all this mess.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you,” he said quietly, his lips quivering into a smile when he looked up at him.

Hawke smiled back, seeing the tears bud in Fenris's eyes and he quickly wiped them away, running his fingers gently through his hair.

"I'm sorry that I didn't protect you from Danarius," he huffed, a sudden sorrow coming across his features as he met the other man's eyes. "But, as long as I live, no harm will ever come to you again. That's a promise. Put it on my gravestone."

It was awful to be reminded of Danarius, still wanting to heave every time he was mentioned. But instead, he settled for looking at Hawke and the raw emotion in his face. He wasn’t sure how long it’d be before he was comfortable with heavier physical intimacy, but he had a good feeling that Hawke would understand and be as careful as ever with him.

“I love you,” Fenris said softly.

"I love you too," Hawke said with a smile, pulling Fenris back into his arms again and kissed him like this was the very last day he would be alive. He finally had a family again, Fenris was his family. Fenris and Adrian. And all would be right with the world.

“I…admit though,” Fenris began. He chuckled a little, leaning his forward to lean his forehead against Hawke’s. It was hard not to laugh at the ridiculousness of this whole situation. “My…dad told me. That you came to ask for his blessing and you…wanted to marry me.”

"He did? I bet he regretted that after what happened," Hawke laughed a little bit, shaking his head. "I was...surprised that he said yes. I half expected him to tell me to get off of his porch unless I was there to pick up the kids. Turns out he's a little softer on me than he lets on, I think. Not right now but, at the time."

Fenris only laughed.


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris and Hawke have their wedding. Their stories come to a close.

Adrian and Sam seemed more excited about the wedding than they were. Fenris found himself as just one big bundle of nerves, the big day finally approaching. It would only be a small ceremony, he assured himself, they hadn’t wanted anything too flashy. Only close friends and family were invited. Fenris nervously adjusted his tie, he’d never been one for big social events. However, this was his wedding, it was a little different. Sebastian seemed to notice his anxiousness and rubbed his shoulder.

“It’ll be fine, you look great,” he said, smiling at his son. Fenris swallowed and nodded firmly. What’s the worst that could go wrong, right? He was getting married to the man he loved, their families would become one unit. Adrian and Sam would finally get what they wanted as siblings, not that it didn’t feel like they already were.

Hawke was nervous as hell, that's for sure, but in a good way. The excitement made him a little bouncy as he stood at the altar. They'd rehearsed this, he knew the vows, he wasn't scared. It was just...the very end of his youth, he supposed. Though, that ended when Sam was born, really. Sam had agreed to be the ring bearer if Adrian would be the flower boy. It was a bit of a reversal because normally boys bore the rings and girls carried the flowers. It fit them, though, and Hawke never cared about gender roles anyways. His brother was standing off to one side with Varric, his two best men. Carver got permission to come home just for the occasion.

"How does it feel, brother?" he asked with a small smile, giving him a slap on the shoulder. "Tying yourself down for the rest of your life."

"Great," he answered, not even having to stop and think about it. "I have no regrets whatsoever."

"I can't stand how cheesy you are," he rolled his eyes. "You have no regrets, not even one?"

"Nope, and why should he?" Varric piped in, elbowing his friend in the side. "That asshole that tried to break them up is in jail now. You missed the trial, it was a landslide. The picture evidence from his home destroyed the defence’s whole case."

"It's my wedding, please, I don't wanna talk about that," Hawke shook his head and sighed. "Besides, Carver, you're about to have a brother in law and a father in law. That should be what's interesting to you."

Sebastian had to stop Fenris’s fidgeting as soon as the music cued his entrance. His heart hammered in his chest as he walked down the aisle, one hand holding onto Sebastian’s arm. As soon as his eyes met Hawke’s, he felt all his anxiety melt away. He was what made all of this worth it, he was the reason he was even here in the first place. Fenris was surprised to find himself not as reluctant to let go of Sebastian as he thought he might. He stood facing Hawke at the end of the altar. Hawke cleaned up nice, he noted, eyes roving over his suit. Not that it mattered because he would’ve been happy to marry him regardless of what he wore.

Hawke smiled down at Fenris, his heart swelling with love and pride as he took his hands. Varric had agreed to do their rights for them, thankfully. Hawke didn't want some stranger marrying them, after all. Fenris looked like an angel, though, and he couldn't stop staring. He was almost completely lost to the speech Varric was giving.

"You look beautiful," he whispered. Varric pinched his cheek, and he winced, laughing a little.

"No talking during the wedding," Varric teased, making the audience members laugh a little. This was perfect. Hawke wouldn't have had his wedding any other way. Light, casual, and all his friends were here. That was what mattered. Then, the part came to the vows. They stuck with what was traditional for this part, at Sebastian's request. "Do you promise to love Mr. Vael from this moment until the day you're buried, in sickness and in health?"

Hawke stared into Fenris's eyes, completely losing himself in them, and he nodded. "Of course, I do."

“Do you promise to love Mr. Hawke from this moment until the day you’re buried, in sickness and in health?”

Fenris smiled, squeezing Hawke’s hands and answering: “Yes, I do.”

The moment they were giving the go-ahead to kiss, Fenris found himself wrapped up in Hawke’s arms. Their lips met eagerly as the crowds cheered and there was a loud wolf-whistle from Isabela. He could stay like this forever and he was hesitant to pull away from his lips, but he had to before things got too intense for an audience.

The afterparty came faster than he expected. Varric had hired a local band to come and play and the cake was absolutely gorgeous. Hawke was convinced that Fenris could make better, though. After the speeches and the formalities were over, Hawke found his new husband again and pulled him through the crowd. "C'mon, I've got someone you need to meet."

Carver waited for them over by the bar with different servings of wine, sampling a few. He was still in his tux, and for Hawke it made him look like…his brother.  Usually he was always in uniform. "Carver! Hey! It's time for introductions."

Carver looked up and smiled, looking Fenris over and holding out a hand. "Carver Hawke. It's nice to put a face to your name, finally. Your husband gushed to me about you every time we FaceTimed. Fenris this, Fenris that. I'm glad you make him happy, he sure needs it."

Fenris couldn’t quite get over the butterflies in his stomach when Hawke was referred to as his husband. He looked Carver over, taking his hand and shaking it. There was definitely the resemblance there between the two of them. Carver was obviously the younger brother but maybe if he grew a beard…

“Pleased to meet you as well,” he replied with a nod.

"Take good care of him, will you? Make sure he's taking those stupid pills for his back. He doesn't pay for those for no reason," Carver winked at his brother and gave Fenris a pat on the shoulder. "Now, both of you go dance, this is a party after all. Don't bore yourselves with me."

He departed to go look for more food and Hawke laughed. He turned to face Fenris, doing a royal bow and extending a hand to his lover.

"Would my husband like to share this slow dance with me?" he asked, a smirk parting his lips.

Watching him bow, Fenris snickered and took his hand. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually danced with someone else. There was no denying he was a little self-conscious of his skills when there was an audience.

“Of course,” he said and drew Hawke in close. “But I may step on your toes.”

"Step on my toes all you like," he hummed, placing a small kiss on the other's nose and twirling with him out into the crowd. This was bliss. Complete and utter bliss.

 

“Dad, you can stop hugging me now. It’s only high school, it’s not like I’m moving out or anything,” Adrian whined as he wiggled out of Fenris’s hold. Time certainly flew by so fast, it felt like just the other day he and Sam were bumbling six-year-olds eating ice-cream and getting into trouble. Now they were teenagers and…well, perhaps not much had changed about their behaviour actually. Either way, it was making him teary-eyed seeing them grow up.

“Don’t say things like that, you’re never moving out,” Fenris replied with a huff, reluctantly letting go of Adrian. “Not until you’re 30. Right, Garrett?”

"Oh no, forties, at least," Hawke chuckled. Sam had just wiggled free from his arms, just as stubborn and rebellious as ever. "And Sam, no talking to boys. Or girls. Or anyone. Don't talk to anyone, okay?"

"You really don't have to worry about it, dad," Sam sighed as she skirted over to Adrian, fixing her hair and tying it into a bun behind her head. "Don't wait at the door with a gun or something please. Either of you."

Hawke felt like he could have cried. His little babies, all grown up, going to high school. Him and Fenris were so old now, how could they stand it? Soon they'd need to sign retirement paperwork and live in a group home.

"Not making any promises," Hawke teased with a wink. "Now, Sam, do you have your rape whistle?"

Sam groaned. "Yes, dad."

"Pepper spray?"

"Yes."

"Now, remember that thing I showed you that'll help you if somebody tries to—”

"Yes! Yes, Dad. I know all of it."

Fenris nodded along to everything Hawke said. He knew distantly, it was the sort of thing his own dad would ramble on at him about when he was their age and hated it. Hopefully the pair of them wouldn’t have to deal with half the things he dealt with at high school.

“That goes for you too Adrian, you know. No repeats of what happened in middle school with that boy who—"

“Yes! Dad, I know,” Adrian groaned, not wanting him to repeat the events of what had happened with his last boyfriend. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked over at his sister. Fenris wasn’t sure where the boy had gotten his growth spurt from, he’d always been so short as a kid but at some point, he shot up like a beanstalk. Now he towered over him and his sister both, but he had miles off being Hawke’s height. He knew it bothered Sam, used to be so much bigger than him for most of her life. She was still tall for her age, but it just wasn’t enough to conquer Adrian.

"We're leaving now," Sam called back, looping her arm around her brother's and tugging him out the door. "Bye!"

Hawke sniffled, cupping his hand over his mouth and biting back a sob. "I love you! Look both ways before crossing the street!"

"Love you too, dad 1 and dad 2," Sam rolled her eyes. She and Adrian had taken to calling them that, though neither of them knew which was dad 1 and which was dad 2. It was endearing though, in Hawke's mind at least. Hawke squeezed Fenris's hand tightly as they left, shaking his head.

"It's too much, babe," he choked. "Soon they'll want us to buy them cars."

Fenris leaned his head on Hawke’s shoulder, taking a deep breath and smiling. It was insane how quickly they’d grown up, soon they’d be adults and wanting to make their own way in the world. He intended to give them all the support in the world when they did.

“I dread seeing either of them on the road,” he replied. So much could go wrong with driving, he didn’t even want to think of the day they passed their test.

"It'll have to happen eventually," Hawke sighed disdainfully. He hated to admit it, but it was true. They couldn't stop them from growing up. "Come on, want to go look at the photo albums and cry about how old we are?"

Rolling his eyes, Fenris pat Hawke on the chest then leaned up for a quick peck on the lips. If he was going to get sick of this, he figured it would be by now.

“I don’t know about you but I’m not _that_ old,” Fenris teased. He smirked, dragging his fingers through Hawke’s greying beard. “But yes, I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only a short chapter unfortunately but huzzah! there it is! the end!
> 
> thanks so much for embarking on this journey with us, we had a blast writing this fic together. and i hope you enjoyed it as well! comments make us happy :) please tell us what you enjoyed!
> 
> until next time!


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